(no subject)
So here's a little update... life is a complete whirlwind these days...
i think miss jen jen will agree with me that a certain weight is lifted off your shoulders when you turn 21. I feel as though I have more opportunities to meet new people and have more fun. Life is good.
and here's the kicker...
I have a boyfriend.
And yet I still can't say that outloud. I waited 2 and a half monthes before I even allowed myself to call him that. I wanted to do this the right way. And thankfully everything with Curt is falling into place the way I wanted it to. I don't want this to be something that falls apart in a month like they all seem to. I'm ready for commitment and longevity. And everytime I tried to push him away thinking I wasn't ready for this (which was litterally about three times a week..) he'd somehow always make sure I knew he wasn't letting me go. Finally after this happening over and over and me realizing I would be letting something real go.. I made the plunge. And that's how I find myself in this new chapter of my life. It's amazing when you actually realize youre entering this new phase... this new start to something good. I love my job. I start my big scary internship next Thursday. I'm so grateful for my friends, which this past week I've realized just how absolutely amazing they really are. Having 4 of your best friends drive down from amherst and have to get up at 6 in the morning just to go all the way back for work... all so they could see you finally turn 21 for a few hours..knowing i probably wouldnt even remember the night anyway... thats fucking friendship. And having friends show up that you havent seen in ages... and then all the ones who have been there everyday, get so drunk that the emotional side comes out. And youre told youre loved over and over... after the past few monthes I've been having... this birthday was just the reminder I needed to know that I am going to be okay.
Yes, I'm still dealing with anxiety. Yes I'm still fighting being bipolar and letting it get the best of me. And yes there will always be problems inside my family. But I'm human. We're human. I'm slowly realizing everyone wants what everyone else has. But you have to be so grateful for whatever is surrounding you in the present. I'm so unbelievably grateful at this moment right now. This week was perfect. Wednesday and Thursday night were birthday celebrations I'll never forget. Yes somehow even through all those jager bombs and minderasers ...and even the absente (which i totally always thought was spelt Absynthe...) I remember it all.
Anyways... back to reality. After two wonderful days off it's back to work. Which...isn't so bad considering i love just about everyone there. The end.
oh yeah. I started waitressing.
Clumsiest.
Waitress.
EVVVERRRRR.
the end.<3
i think miss jen jen will agree with me that a certain weight is lifted off your shoulders when you turn 21. I feel as though I have more opportunities to meet new people and have more fun. Life is good.
and here's the kicker...
I have a boyfriend.
And yet I still can't say that outloud. I waited 2 and a half monthes before I even allowed myself to call him that. I wanted to do this the right way. And thankfully everything with Curt is falling into place the way I wanted it to. I don't want this to be something that falls apart in a month like they all seem to. I'm ready for commitment and longevity. And everytime I tried to push him away thinking I wasn't ready for this (which was litterally about three times a week..) he'd somehow always make sure I knew he wasn't letting me go. Finally after this happening over and over and me realizing I would be letting something real go.. I made the plunge. And that's how I find myself in this new chapter of my life. It's amazing when you actually realize youre entering this new phase... this new start to something good. I love my job. I start my big scary internship next Thursday. I'm so grateful for my friends, which this past week I've realized just how absolutely amazing they really are. Having 4 of your best friends drive down from amherst and have to get up at 6 in the morning just to go all the way back for work... all so they could see you finally turn 21 for a few hours..knowing i probably wouldnt even remember the night anyway... thats fucking friendship. And having friends show up that you havent seen in ages... and then all the ones who have been there everyday, get so drunk that the emotional side comes out. And youre told youre loved over and over... after the past few monthes I've been having... this birthday was just the reminder I needed to know that I am going to be okay.
Yes, I'm still dealing with anxiety. Yes I'm still fighting being bipolar and letting it get the best of me. And yes there will always be problems inside my family. But I'm human. We're human. I'm slowly realizing everyone wants what everyone else has. But you have to be so grateful for whatever is surrounding you in the present. I'm so unbelievably grateful at this moment right now. This week was perfect. Wednesday and Thursday night were birthday celebrations I'll never forget. Yes somehow even through all those jager bombs and minderasers ...and even the absente (which i totally always thought was spelt Absynthe...) I remember it all.
Anyways... back to reality. After two wonderful days off it's back to work. Which...isn't so bad considering i love just about everyone there. The end.
oh yeah. I started waitressing.
Clumsiest.
Waitress.
EVVVERRRRR.
the end.<3