(no subject)
Today was festive in a very Christmas way. Went shopping for the first time in months, and picked out two beautiful dresses. One of them I intend on wearing to Tavern Law someday, but for now I will wear it to my grandmothers house.
Pip and Stella are horrifying me. They sit there, or sleep rather, curled up into each other... Stellas head resting on Pips belly. How utterly horrifying. I glance at them occasionally in dismay.
Bah humbug.
I spent this evening at my favorite restaurant in the world, The Volunteer park cafe, where I ate the most delicious confection on the face of the planet. A warm chocolate souffle thing. Dear god.
Then I came home, restrung a necklace for my grandmother that I intend to give her for Christmas of venetian beads from her trip to Italy. I did this while I listened to the fountainhead audiobook. The mans voice always had a tendency to annoy me.
AND then I went jogging!
( it was kinda cold )
AND now I am going to do ballet!
I saw Black Swan last night and it reminded me of when I took ballet when I was younger. It seems my whole life has been a pageant of one kind or another. Except, the schizophrenic ballerina hit too close to home with my schizophrenic mother and I left the theater rather melancholy. That was the point of the movie, but whatever.
Anyway, the point I was trying to get to in a round about way is that ballerinas are my new inspiration.
And also becoming dear to my heart would be German Romanticism. I thought I always wanted a cad for a lover. No, not really anymore.
I would rather like a man with a romantic heart, like Goethe or his tragic character Werther. Someone who thinks a lot, someone with ideals, someone who is obsessive. Ideally speaking, I would like to be able to be obsessive and utterly in love with someone who is equally interested in being obsessive and utterly in love, well with me of course... Someone in touch with his feelings, sensitive, full of spring and beauty.
Maybe even someone who has a keen eye for things that bring joy to daily life, whatever that may be. Someone I can be myself with. Someone that sees themselves in my fragility and therefore isn't scared of it but attracted. I want a soul that is keen to the world, sensitive to it, and is moved by it.
I want someone who is not jaded by the universe and still seeks beauty and happiness against all odds. Someone who can sing during tragedy and not lose their heart. A heart of gold. Someone like me.
No more will my heart be given to rough, gruff, ruffians. They don't know how to hold fragile flowers. They don't know what it means to make a beautiful life. The trick is, if you doubt yourself, doubt the value of others, doubt the very things that bring happiness to you, you soon find joy elude you.
Anyway, time to ballet myself to sleep.
Pip and Stella are horrifying me. They sit there, or sleep rather, curled up into each other... Stellas head resting on Pips belly. How utterly horrifying. I glance at them occasionally in dismay.
Bah humbug.
I spent this evening at my favorite restaurant in the world, The Volunteer park cafe, where I ate the most delicious confection on the face of the planet. A warm chocolate souffle thing. Dear god.
Then I came home, restrung a necklace for my grandmother that I intend to give her for Christmas of venetian beads from her trip to Italy. I did this while I listened to the fountainhead audiobook. The mans voice always had a tendency to annoy me.
AND then I went jogging!
( it was kinda cold )
AND now I am going to do ballet!
I saw Black Swan last night and it reminded me of when I took ballet when I was younger. It seems my whole life has been a pageant of one kind or another. Except, the schizophrenic ballerina hit too close to home with my schizophrenic mother and I left the theater rather melancholy. That was the point of the movie, but whatever.
Anyway, the point I was trying to get to in a round about way is that ballerinas are my new inspiration.
And also becoming dear to my heart would be German Romanticism. I thought I always wanted a cad for a lover. No, not really anymore.
I would rather like a man with a romantic heart, like Goethe or his tragic character Werther. Someone who thinks a lot, someone with ideals, someone who is obsessive. Ideally speaking, I would like to be able to be obsessive and utterly in love with someone who is equally interested in being obsessive and utterly in love, well with me of course... Someone in touch with his feelings, sensitive, full of spring and beauty.
Maybe even someone who has a keen eye for things that bring joy to daily life, whatever that may be. Someone I can be myself with. Someone that sees themselves in my fragility and therefore isn't scared of it but attracted. I want a soul that is keen to the world, sensitive to it, and is moved by it.
I want someone who is not jaded by the universe and still seeks beauty and happiness against all odds. Someone who can sing during tragedy and not lose their heart. A heart of gold. Someone like me.
No more will my heart be given to rough, gruff, ruffians. They don't know how to hold fragile flowers. They don't know what it means to make a beautiful life. The trick is, if you doubt yourself, doubt the value of others, doubt the very things that bring happiness to you, you soon find joy elude you.
Anyway, time to ballet myself to sleep.