(no subject)

[aurorabell]

i thought i was broken
my heart earthquaking along irregular beats
i thought you were a bookmark
a reminder of where i left off
a misplaced love from long ago
that night I drove through the mountains like a maniac
erasing the chalk scribbles you scratched into my forgetting

I was so good at ignoring you

only to discover
i've kept you tucked into the corner of my heart
a guard against potential curves and cliffs
the staggering drop to rock bottom

i've been careful to let no one in.

I've lied and postponed and found myself
frozen in the fast lane
a detriment to the night time
empty gas station parking lots and midnight coffee
that's sat too long on the burner
pace the blacktop
pound the moon into tearless gasps
grasp at star light
while praying to a god you aren't sure exists
but you desperately want to believe in

I'm just looking for a reason to believe
for springsteen riding rickshaw on the wind
a howling silence tempting me to roam

too terrified to move

where is my refuge now that i've stopped