Fic: English Stories
Yes, you read that right, fic. The 150th round of SG1 Five Things has been published, and I took a prompt.
Go here to read all the awesome fic
I committed my own entry off "Five Reasons the Galaxy Speaks So Much English". It was just a bit of fun.
Title: English Stories
Rating: G
Category: Gen. Ficlets. Humor
1. "You have reached the Astria Porta dialing system. For English, press the 'pra' glyph."
"Kree Goa'uld, Chappai'ai Sh...."
*blast*
"Delmac...Delmac...You have chosen...chosen... English...English...English. Warning, the Astria Porta multiple language system is overloading. The system is overloading. No further changes can be made. Warning...warning."
~~~
2. Nyan sat at his brand new desk for his first day of actually working at Stargate Command. He felt more comfortable already now that he was around artifacts. This is what he knew. This is what he understood. He picked up the first object and had barely started studying it when Dr. Jackson came by.
"Hey, Nyan. How you settling in?"
"A lot better now that I have something to actually do. There's quite a bit to understand here." He gestured to all the variety of world's artifacts. Some he recognized as similar to his world's creation stories, but others were whole new histories to explore. Nyan was excited to dive into learning about them.
Perhaps his enthusiasm was showing because Dr. Jackson grinned at him. "Well, if you've got any questions, just let me know. I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming."
"Up there," Nyan pointed towards the surface many levels above them. "That's overwhelming. Your world is so much more populous than mine."
Daniel grinned. "Yeah, just wait until the road trip to Chicago."
Nyan widened his eyes at that possibility but did not let it distract him from his point. "I did have a question though. Why do you all speak Bedrosian?"
"We don't," Daniel answered automatically, but then paused as if thinking about more about it. "We sound the same to you as your language?"
"Oh yes. There is a slight accent, which is probably why the military thought you were Optrican spies." He paused at Daniel's wince but gamely continued. "But it's like you've been speaking our language all the time. When did you learn it?"
"I didn't. Although I would love to see it written down. You sound like you speak English, and it's a common theme amongst many cultures we encounter. With rare exceptions we have no difficulty speaking to indigenous peoples. Unfortunately, I've not been able to do much etymology studying outside of the fast and dirty translations to keep us from getting killed by Goa'uld."
"So you're not speaking Bedrosian? Then how do we understand each other?"
"I mean, I've postulated some theories, and so has Sam, but they don't quite gel with what we experienced even as early as the first mission to Abydos. Of course, the alterations Sam made to the dialing program could account for the...but wait..."
Daniel must've spotted Nyan's confusion because he sighed and smiled at Nyan. "Short answer: I have no idea."
~~~
3. Loki stood before the Asgard High Council, still without any signs of remorse.
The chair spoke from the center of the dais. "You endangered Jack O'Neill and countless others in your unlicensed experiments. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Loki's nostrils flared at this pretentious farce of a trial. "O'Neill was not in danger, only his clone. And you focus on my minor intrusions without reflecting on what I have done for him."
One of the council stood, incensed. "What do you mean? Do you confess to more interference?"
"What you call interference, I call progress. O'Neill would not be leading Earth in advancement into the Fifth Race as Thor predicts if it were not my help. After all, without my adjusting their language receptors, the SG teams and likely their planet would have been overtaken by the Goa'uld or other hostile races long ago."
~~~
4. "Encore une fois, s'il vous plait."
"Ah ah ah. You lost. Don't keep speaking French."
"C'mon then, two out of three."
"Nope. You already lost roshambo, Morgan. You know that fron beat machinus. The new universal language of the Milky Way is English."
"Fine, fine. I lost the bet, I'll make the changes. You don't need to look so smug about it, Myrddin. But if Oma ever learns about this, she'll be completely incorrigible."
~~~
5. Magnets.
Go here to read all the awesome fic
I committed my own entry off "Five Reasons the Galaxy Speaks So Much English". It was just a bit of fun.
Title: English Stories
Rating: G
Category: Gen. Ficlets. Humor
1. "You have reached the Astria Porta dialing system. For English, press the 'pra' glyph."
"Kree Goa'uld, Chappai'ai Sh...."
*blast*
"Delmac...Delmac...You have chosen...chosen... English...English...English. Warning, the Astria Porta multiple language system is overloading. The system is overloading. No further changes can be made. Warning...warning."
~~~
2. Nyan sat at his brand new desk for his first day of actually working at Stargate Command. He felt more comfortable already now that he was around artifacts. This is what he knew. This is what he understood. He picked up the first object and had barely started studying it when Dr. Jackson came by.
"Hey, Nyan. How you settling in?"
"A lot better now that I have something to actually do. There's quite a bit to understand here." He gestured to all the variety of world's artifacts. Some he recognized as similar to his world's creation stories, but others were whole new histories to explore. Nyan was excited to dive into learning about them.
Perhaps his enthusiasm was showing because Dr. Jackson grinned at him. "Well, if you've got any questions, just let me know. I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming."
"Up there," Nyan pointed towards the surface many levels above them. "That's overwhelming. Your world is so much more populous than mine."
Daniel grinned. "Yeah, just wait until the road trip to Chicago."
Nyan widened his eyes at that possibility but did not let it distract him from his point. "I did have a question though. Why do you all speak Bedrosian?"
"We don't," Daniel answered automatically, but then paused as if thinking about more about it. "We sound the same to you as your language?"
"Oh yes. There is a slight accent, which is probably why the military thought you were Optrican spies." He paused at Daniel's wince but gamely continued. "But it's like you've been speaking our language all the time. When did you learn it?"
"I didn't. Although I would love to see it written down. You sound like you speak English, and it's a common theme amongst many cultures we encounter. With rare exceptions we have no difficulty speaking to indigenous peoples. Unfortunately, I've not been able to do much etymology studying outside of the fast and dirty translations to keep us from getting killed by Goa'uld."
"So you're not speaking Bedrosian? Then how do we understand each other?"
"I mean, I've postulated some theories, and so has Sam, but they don't quite gel with what we experienced even as early as the first mission to Abydos. Of course, the alterations Sam made to the dialing program could account for the...but wait..."
Daniel must've spotted Nyan's confusion because he sighed and smiled at Nyan. "Short answer: I have no idea."
~~~
3. Loki stood before the Asgard High Council, still without any signs of remorse.
The chair spoke from the center of the dais. "You endangered Jack O'Neill and countless others in your unlicensed experiments. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Loki's nostrils flared at this pretentious farce of a trial. "O'Neill was not in danger, only his clone. And you focus on my minor intrusions without reflecting on what I have done for him."
One of the council stood, incensed. "What do you mean? Do you confess to more interference?"
"What you call interference, I call progress. O'Neill would not be leading Earth in advancement into the Fifth Race as Thor predicts if it were not my help. After all, without my adjusting their language receptors, the SG teams and likely their planet would have been overtaken by the Goa'uld or other hostile races long ago."
~~~
4. "Encore une fois, s'il vous plait."
"Ah ah ah. You lost. Don't keep speaking French."
"C'mon then, two out of three."
"Nope. You already lost roshambo, Morgan. You know that fron beat machinus. The new universal language of the Milky Way is English."
"Fine, fine. I lost the bet, I'll make the changes. You don't need to look so smug about it, Myrddin. But if Oma ever learns about this, she'll be completely incorrigible."
~~~
5. Magnets.