Re: IdetrorceauronluDecember 27 2007, 19:18:38 UTC
I was puzzled by this comment when I first saw it, and I'm still puzzled. How can one disagree with a piece of fiction? It's fiction, not a newspaper article.
Or did you mean you don't like it? If you're going to critique someone's writing, then explain what you don't like -- "I don't like it" isn't very helpful!
Also, after someone's taken this much time and effort to write something well for your enjoyment, it's courteous to use basic punctuation and capitalization. Not doing so suggests that you don't know enough about writing yourself to criticize anyone else's.
I was looking back over the old chapters to read what Mneme was saying about them --yes, she's just that an insightful of a commenter, when I noticed this. I googled the name and found this: http://digg.com/comedy/Who_is_Idetrorce
seriously we're on the same wavelength lately. :D Just a couple weeks ago I was searching for my Besaid piece and the meeting of the new maesters. ^_^ I have no clue where I put it but I have a feeling its on my desktop (and of course I'm on my laptop). I've been having muses poking at me lately. :D
and you know I always loved this piece idea. ^_^ I'm still game if you are. :D
And I love this tidbit of them traveling to Besaid and finding Auron. hehe and his response, classic. :D
ok managed to find a portion I started writing here some time ago. but like I believed, I think the full version is on the desktop. now I'm intent on finding it. :p thanks :D
What I meant by "tear each other's hair out" is that it's awkward when I had come up with this story on my own, and it just so happened you were on the same wavelength and had been intending to write a Lulu-as-Sin story too, so now we're stuck trying to combine what I wanted to write with what you want to write, when they don't quite match. (E.g. the maesters... I haven't written that sequence yet, but I was gelling ideas about it... and your Besaid sequence is brilliant and beautifully-written, but it contradicts two key parts of my original plot, plus I'd wanted to write the attack on Besaid myself). I abandoned writing this story mostly because I could see I wasn't doing a good job of coping with this co-author business, and I was afraid we were going to end up hurting each others' feelings.
Ack. :/ *waves hands* I really don't know what to do with it anymore. I really want to write what I'd intended to write... but I don't want to deprive you of the chance to write yours!
please forgive any grammar oopsies, this hasn't been touched or beta'd in a looooooong time. -------------------------------- PrologueThe evening was warm, as was typical in Besaid, but not overwhelmingly stifling. Stars began to peek out from the curtain of dusk that was beginning to take the blue sky. The reddish-yellow sphere of the sun blazed like fire against the mirror of water it sank into on the horizon. Colors of purple and orange hues radiated outward and those who watched the bright orb fall out of sight could not remember a more beautiful sunset in all their memories. Remembrance was all that would come with the darkness falling upon the tiny island
( ... )
Fleeing was their only option of escape as Besaid’s inhabitants ran toward the beaches and ocean. Horror greeted them once more as colossal waves crashed on the shore, rushing toward them with an unseen force that was not of nature. The pummeling of the ocean’s tides became fierce as it tore and smashed against the cliffs and hillsides of the island. Hands and fingers clung for dear life to anything solid as the waters swelled around them, drowning all that they knew and built. The strength of the undertow and waves was too much for many and all some could do was cry helplessly as loved ones were swept out to sea and swallowed by the emptiness beyond.
You wear the skin of evil that another fallen friend also had borne. So the same in appearance yet so different than he. Yet, here I find myself again in the retelling of the story. Our story. A dark figure watched stoically from the docks being thrashed but by strangely calmer waves than those that battered the island. In the winds that picked up, a red cloak snapped wildly from the
( ... )
Is this a rewrite of the earlier story? I'm really liking this as a multi-chapter and looking forward to the next installment. As always, your scenes are so lush and real. I especially like the individual voices of the deckhands and your descriptions of the battle. The Sin idol was a brilliant and intriguing touch, and you end your chapter with such a compelling stroke, agh!
I'm glad to see your muse has wandered back this way again.
Comments 17
Idetrorce
Reply
Or did you mean you don't like it? If you're going to critique someone's writing, then explain what you don't like -- "I don't like it" isn't very helpful!
Also, after someone's taken this much time and effort to write something well for your enjoyment, it's courteous to use basic punctuation and capitalization. Not doing so suggests that you don't know enough about writing yourself to criticize anyone else's.
Reply
Ha. >>
Reply
and you know I always loved this piece idea. ^_^ I'm still game if you are. :D
And I love this tidbit of them traveling to Besaid and finding Auron. hehe and his response, classic. :D
Reply
Reply
Reply
Ack. :/ *waves hands* I really don't know what to do with it anymore. I really want to write what I'd intended to write... but I don't want to deprive you of the chance to write yours!
Reply
--------------------------------
PrologueThe evening was warm, as was typical in Besaid, but not overwhelmingly stifling. Stars began to peek out from the curtain of dusk that was beginning to take the blue sky. The reddish-yellow sphere of the sun blazed like fire against the mirror of water it sank into on the horizon. Colors of purple and orange hues radiated outward and those who watched the bright orb fall out of sight could not remember a more beautiful sunset in all their memories. Remembrance was all that would come with the darkness falling upon the tiny island ( ... )
Reply
You wear the skin of evil that another fallen friend also had borne. So the same in appearance yet so different than he. Yet, here I find myself again in the retelling of the story. Our story. A dark figure watched stoically from the docks being thrashed but by strangely calmer waves than those that battered the island. In the winds that picked up, a red cloak snapped wildly from the ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Is this a rewrite of the earlier story? I'm really liking this as a multi-chapter and looking forward to the next installment. As always, your scenes are so lush and real. I especially like the individual voices of the deckhands and your descriptions of the battle. The Sin idol was a brilliant and intriguing touch, and you end your chapter with such a compelling stroke, agh!
I'm glad to see your muse has wandered back this way again.
Reply
Leave a comment