A Bit of a Rant

[auriol]

My view isn't trendy, and it sure as hell isn't going to be popular, but it's my journal and my opinion.

If anyone would like to actually debate the issue, please feel free - that's how we all learn and develop. I welcome it.

I'm bored with people jumping on the 'easy target' that is the Catholic church. I'm not Catholic, but i watch a hordes of

Comments

[poppymayhem]

That point is interesting to me as in going for a counselling position with the survivors network, they employ females only as the company works with female survivors of rape/sexual assualt/domestic violence.
There is a law to exempt such positions/companies from "we welcome anyone, look how open we are" and I think that in certain circumstances, this is right.
This is of course different from a woman's only/man's only club/bar/hour on radio etc.
For me it brings the point that having a generalised overarching rule is the thing that doesn't work. We are individuals and there are many of us, thus we won't fit in one rule. Are male and female toilets discriminating against those that don't fit neatly into one gender box? Perhaps a silly point, but I have heard of someone going through gender reassignment who suddenly found themselves not knowing what to do about public toilets!

I'm not sure I have a point... I think I'm just pondering the view that we have to include and cater for everyone with exactly the same structure, when I wonder if what we need to do is have the flexibility to respond to individual lives and needs. But I'm not sure that would ever happen.

I'm finding this debate very interesting :)

[auriol]

Well, I think you have a point, even if the point is only that we don't have a safe and all-encompassing answer to the question.

My response to the toilet debate would be that the person in question should either go with the toilet that matches their current physical genitalia, or that they should select the toilet that fits how they (at that point) view their gender. To avoid embarrasment and ignorant people, using a cubicle instead of a urinal in the case of gent's loos may be a good idea.

I know what you mean about the counselling centre, and I understand the need for women-only counselling in the case of sexual abuse victims. However, is male-only counselling available for male victims of abuse?

What about medicine? I'll be honest and say that I would prefer to see a female doctor or nurse when having a smear test, for example. If it was a serious or immediate requirement (say I had cancer or was in labour), then I wouldn't give a damn, but when we're talking about routine examinations, I'm not especially comfortable about a strange bloke poking around down there! Is that bigoted or sexist?

[poppymayhem]

In Brighton, yes, there is a charity called ManKind, which exists for exactly the same reasons Survivors Network does (I think they deal with some other issues like eating disorders, but it is a male only service). I don't know if similar equality exists in counselling networks outside of Brighton.
And I agree totally about preferring a female for various routine exams, I did once allow a male student nurse to observe during a Mirena check, but only as a test of my comfort zone and coped by pretending he wasn't there at all (sitting here now I'm surprised I did that and I'm not sure I would now!)
I don't think it's bigoted or sexist to have such feelings - otherwise, following that to its extreme, should we have equal numbers of male and female (and other groupings) of friends - do you reveal more about yourself to certain people, certain genders, etc etc :)
Is my Centre wrong in only allowing its services to those living with chronic disabilities and conditions :) Are we being bigoted against ablebodied people! Although I suppose we are covered legally by our charities charter...
All very interesting thoughts!
And I just had an Incredibles quote pop into my head along the lines of if everyone is special, that means no one is

[auriol]

I probably have about equal numbers of malle and female friends, but there are subjects I generally don't discuss with male friend, more for their comfort zone than mine! I guess I've taken my vues on this from my husband who, when hearing words on the phone like 'episiotomy', 'hysterectomy' and 'period', is frequently known to announce 'lady talk!' and leave the room or put his headphones in. The other main reaosn is that I doubt they'd be interested.

There are some services that have to be for specific groups, such as counselling, medicine, services for people with disabilities etc., and I think we all recognise that. It's just knowing where the line should be that is the problem that no-one can confidently answer.