(no subject)
It's odd that I finally realized what I need in my relationship, and how I know that I can't get it. It's a pattern. There is no real pattern here. No amorous patterns. It's almost cold most times. i guess it's because I am hispanic and we tend to be a bit more heated when it comes to emotions. I find myself missing being found attractive by the person I am with. It's hard to know that I can't be nor become what he wants. What do I do? I know he is attracted to me but, I think it's mostly me. I don't know how to receive emotions unless they are base wanton, or angry, emotions. I don't know. I may just be bitching because I'm depressed. But, I miss feeling safe and secure with someone. Instead, I feel as if I am the only one that is there. I know that's just how it is. i guess what I am saying is that I want the illusion of safety. I want to be wanted for sex, not my mind. Weird I know. I was always bitching no one cared if i had a brain. Now, no one cares that I have sexual needs, or wants. However you want to word that is fine. I am going to keep this on an open format because I need some feedback. Am I just being a whiny, bitchy baby who doesn't know what they want? It's not like I am asking for the masses to rally together and sing my praises. I just need or want some feedback.