Friday Fluff
I don't have as much Olympic fever as I would were I back home, but I love the Olympics and thought this was a good day for posting some trivia, courtesy of this website. Oh, and there was a little thing in the paper today about that Chinese gymnast age controversy thing - apparently it stems from an article in a Chinese paper from last year, I think, about a gymnastics competition held in China, that had one of the girls down as 13 years old. The article is gone now, of course.
And if that didn't interest you (fair enough), here's something I stumbled upon that made me laugh: why women can't be priests - it's a reality people, like how men can't have babies! I'm not trying to start a theological discussion here - it's the end of the week and I don't want to start a fight or anything, but I found this blog post amusing because it was full of fallacies.
If you're not interested in the Olympics or stupidity of the theological kind, this might give you a chuckle - from today's Globe and Mail:
The winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening line to an imaginary novel has just been announced, going to Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer from Washington, for the following entry:
“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped, 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.' ”
Hilarious! Oh so bad! But wait, there's more!
In the adventure genre, Shannon Wedge of New Hampshire triumphed with this effort: “Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay - the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.”
Simon Terry of Crawley in southern England took the cake (so to speak) for historical fiction:
“As she watched the small form swing backwards and forth from the crystal chandelier - hands on hips, sniffing the air and squeaking inaudibly - it suddenly became clear to Madame de Pompomme that she had done the wrong thing asking Jacques to find and bring back her long-lost sister: For, whilst her coterie would doubtless be enchanted for a short while, the novelty of Janine having been raised by bats since the age of 2 in caves of the northwest Congo would soon wear off in 17th-century France.”
But what of romance? Jeanne Villa of Novato, Calif., struck gold with this offering:
“Bill swore the affair had ended, but Louise knew he was lying, after discovering Tupperware containers under the seat of his car, which were not the off-brand containers that she bought to save money, but authentic, burpable, lidded Tupperware; and she knew he would see that woman again, because unlike the flimsy, fake containers that should always be recycled responsibly, real Tupperware must be returned to its rightful owner.”
And for brevity, if nothing else, Barry J. Drucker of Bentonville, Ark., received a miscellaneous dishonourable mention for this: “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”
Also receiving a miscellaneous dishonourable mention was Sarah Totton of Owen Sound, Ont., who penned these fittingly icy lines: “The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.”
- All athletes competed nude at the ancient Olympics (that would've been a sight!).
- Pigeon shooting was one of the sports at the Paris 1900 games - a short-lived event and the only time animals were deliberately killed during the Olympics.
- The Olympic flag of five interlocking rings was first flown at the Antwerp Games in 1920.
- The five rings represent the five major regions of the world: Africa, the Americas, Asia, Europe and Oceana.
- The modern Olympics were restarted after a proposal by a Frenchman, Baron Pierre de Courbertin, in 1894.
- Women first competed at the Paris games in 1900.
- Before that, women were excluded because it was felt to be "impractical, uninteresting, unaesthetic and incorrect".
- Women competed in track events for the first time in 1928; however, so many collapsed at the end of the 800 metre race that the event was banned until 1960.
- There are only two sports where men and women are allowed to compete against each other: sailing and equestrian.
- Women weightlifters weren't included in the Olympic Games until Sydney 2000.
- Only three countries have ever competed at every summer Olympic Games: Australia, Great Britain and Greece.
- The Marshall Islands, Vatican City and Tuvalu are the only sovereign states never to have competed.
- In the 1908 and 1912 games, Australia and New Zealand competed as one country called Australasia (ANZ - like the bank!).
- Baseball and softball will be dropped from the Olympic program after the 2008 games (I wish they'd axe boxing as well!).
- In 1904, American gymnast George Eyser won six medals even though his left leg was made out of wood.
- Some unusual swimming events in past games have included: plunge for distance, underwater swimming race, and the swimming obstacle race.
- Women competed in swimming events for the first time in 1912, but none of them were from the USA, since that country did not allow women to compete without wearing long skirts.
- Some sports that have been discontinued include: polo, croquet, cricket, lacrosse and tug-of-war.
And if that didn't interest you (fair enough), here's something I stumbled upon that made me laugh: why women can't be priests - it's a reality people, like how men can't have babies! I'm not trying to start a theological discussion here - it's the end of the week and I don't want to start a fight or anything, but I found this blog post amusing because it was full of fallacies.
If you're not interested in the Olympics or stupidity of the theological kind, this might give you a chuckle - from today's Globe and Mail:
The winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening line to an imaginary novel has just been announced, going to Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer from Washington, for the following entry:
“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped, 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.' ”
Hilarious! Oh so bad! But wait, there's more!
In the adventure genre, Shannon Wedge of New Hampshire triumphed with this effort: “Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay - the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.”
Simon Terry of Crawley in southern England took the cake (so to speak) for historical fiction:
“As she watched the small form swing backwards and forth from the crystal chandelier - hands on hips, sniffing the air and squeaking inaudibly - it suddenly became clear to Madame de Pompomme that she had done the wrong thing asking Jacques to find and bring back her long-lost sister: For, whilst her coterie would doubtless be enchanted for a short while, the novelty of Janine having been raised by bats since the age of 2 in caves of the northwest Congo would soon wear off in 17th-century France.”
But what of romance? Jeanne Villa of Novato, Calif., struck gold with this offering:
“Bill swore the affair had ended, but Louise knew he was lying, after discovering Tupperware containers under the seat of his car, which were not the off-brand containers that she bought to save money, but authentic, burpable, lidded Tupperware; and she knew he would see that woman again, because unlike the flimsy, fake containers that should always be recycled responsibly, real Tupperware must be returned to its rightful owner.”
And for brevity, if nothing else, Barry J. Drucker of Bentonville, Ark., received a miscellaneous dishonourable mention for this: “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”
Also receiving a miscellaneous dishonourable mention was Sarah Totton of Owen Sound, Ont., who penned these fittingly icy lines: “The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.”