*sigh*
I'm feeling sad right now. The day is grey outside, though the blue looks like it is trying to fight it's way through it's losing badly and there looks to be rain on the way. I'm feeling lonely and working on my demo-reel, adding things here and there that Mark and Ernie said I might add to make it better. I hope it does end up looking better... it might make me FEEL better. There is no one here right now. Trav is at work and Mike is at school, I can only assume since he never tells us where he is going. My mom thinks it is dangerous to do that, and I would have to agree. Since he doesn't tell us where he is going and stays out all night, he could be murdered or something and we wouldn't figure it out for a few days.
I'm a little pissed off at him also. Last night he asked if he could have one of our cokes because he wanted to make a rum and coke because he was stressed and upset. I informed him that alcahol was a depressant and that he shouldn't drink to get rid of his unhappiness because all it does is make it worse. He of course didn't bother listening to me and I heard him muttering in the kitchen about how he could screw up his own body if he felt like it, thank you very much, to which I replied "YOUR WELCOME!" very loudly. I think I embarassed him. He SHOULD be embarassed, but of himself, for that kind of behavior. He's not mature enough to make decisions like that for himself. He may be intelligent and 20 years old, but maturity-wise he is still a petulant fifteen-year-old who doesn't want to take anyone else's advice because they think they know everything. GAWD. And to think that I was like that when I was 15, and I was a pain in the ass to everyone around me. Seriously. I'm glad he's not home right now, I think I'd explode.
I called Trav at work and I ended up all upset earlier. People keep asking me if I'm going to Alicia's hottub hockey party and I keep having to tell them no, and it's making me more and more upset every time I think about it. I do enjoy game, but it seems like every time there is a party or something on Saturday night, I have to say "no" because I'm going to game, and it's starting to really get to me. I feel like every party that I can't go to is a chance for me to get to know people that has gone right out the window. I don't have many good friends, and I don't have many people I can talk to about anything if I need to, so when I miss chances to get to know people better I think it really bothers me a lot. So I called Trav and we started talking about it and I told him I was sad that I couldn't go and I was lonely. He got upset because I didn't tell him ahead of time, though I can't see what that would have done to help anything, we would have still had the same conversation about it whether or not I told him a week in advance. But honestly, I couldn't have told him that I would feel this bad about it in the first place, even if I had known that I wouldn't be okay with it. He said that if I had really wanted to go he could have tried to work something out, but I still think that it would have been a huge hassle and that he wouldn't have wanted to go to the party even if I did. *sigh* I hate emotions sometimes, they make me feel so very terrible.
Anyways, I guess I should get back to working on my demo-reel even though rendering things takes for frickin ever and it's a serious pain in the ass. Maybe I should just crawl back into bed and never come out again, that's what kind of mood I'm in. And I was feeling SO optimistic this morning! ;_;
I'm a little pissed off at him also. Last night he asked if he could have one of our cokes because he wanted to make a rum and coke because he was stressed and upset. I informed him that alcahol was a depressant and that he shouldn't drink to get rid of his unhappiness because all it does is make it worse. He of course didn't bother listening to me and I heard him muttering in the kitchen about how he could screw up his own body if he felt like it, thank you very much, to which I replied "YOUR WELCOME!" very loudly. I think I embarassed him. He SHOULD be embarassed, but of himself, for that kind of behavior. He's not mature enough to make decisions like that for himself. He may be intelligent and 20 years old, but maturity-wise he is still a petulant fifteen-year-old who doesn't want to take anyone else's advice because they think they know everything. GAWD. And to think that I was like that when I was 15, and I was a pain in the ass to everyone around me. Seriously. I'm glad he's not home right now, I think I'd explode.
I called Trav at work and I ended up all upset earlier. People keep asking me if I'm going to Alicia's hottub hockey party and I keep having to tell them no, and it's making me more and more upset every time I think about it. I do enjoy game, but it seems like every time there is a party or something on Saturday night, I have to say "no" because I'm going to game, and it's starting to really get to me. I feel like every party that I can't go to is a chance for me to get to know people that has gone right out the window. I don't have many good friends, and I don't have many people I can talk to about anything if I need to, so when I miss chances to get to know people better I think it really bothers me a lot. So I called Trav and we started talking about it and I told him I was sad that I couldn't go and I was lonely. He got upset because I didn't tell him ahead of time, though I can't see what that would have done to help anything, we would have still had the same conversation about it whether or not I told him a week in advance. But honestly, I couldn't have told him that I would feel this bad about it in the first place, even if I had known that I wouldn't be okay with it. He said that if I had really wanted to go he could have tried to work something out, but I still think that it would have been a huge hassle and that he wouldn't have wanted to go to the party even if I did. *sigh* I hate emotions sometimes, they make me feel so very terrible.
Anyways, I guess I should get back to working on my demo-reel even though rendering things takes for frickin ever and it's a serious pain in the ass. Maybe I should just crawl back into bed and never come out again, that's what kind of mood I'm in. And I was feeling SO optimistic this morning! ;_;