Give a little love.
It's 5:06 on Christmas Eve.
We're going to a Christmas Party after dinner and then from there to Midnight Mass.
I've been cleaning, doing flvs.net homework, studying lines for Remarkable Susan and Our Town, and downloading music all day.
Yesterday I had a slight breakdown before I went to the Ladies Jazz gig @ Disney.
It was funny. I got mad because right after we came home from church I scrambled around the kitchen to make breakfast. Then Wayne comes up and begind to scrutinize the yellow mixture that was scrambled eggs and pepper.
"You didn't put too much salt in that did you?"
No, "Wow, this looks really good."
Just scrutiny.
I'm just so sick and tired of not being able to do anything right.
Then everyone decides to leave the mess for me to clean.
I'm not a fucking maid.
I know I write too much about this topic.
It's not eevn worth my time, really.
Well, cleaning always gets me thinking and I began thinking about things I should not have let my mind wander to. Things that are better left beneath the rubble of schoolwork, petty friendships, and my obsession with downloading mucic.
But music also gets me thinking.
hah.
It's something I can't escape.
Erika and Brenna got me in to reading the Twilight series recently.
I finished Eclipse on the bus ride to Disney yesterday.
Unfortunately it didn't help my emotional status anymore. In fact the ending made it worse.
"GOD, BELLA YOU IDIOT!
YOU ARE THE HICK THAT GETS MARRIED RIGHT AFTER HIGHSCHOLL THAT YOU ALWAYS FEARED.
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.
That would only be a defense mechanism.
hahaha.
Maggie and I are were swooning over Edward Cullen last night through text messages.
I'm a hopeless case. Seriously.
I try to fixate my mind on one thing and well...
look where I am right now.
Punching out some stupid entry on a journal site instead of doing my bloody homework.
We're going to a Christmas Party after dinner and then from there to Midnight Mass.
I've been cleaning, doing flvs.net homework, studying lines for Remarkable Susan and Our Town, and downloading music all day.
Yesterday I had a slight breakdown before I went to the Ladies Jazz gig @ Disney.
It was funny. I got mad because right after we came home from church I scrambled around the kitchen to make breakfast. Then Wayne comes up and begind to scrutinize the yellow mixture that was scrambled eggs and pepper.
"You didn't put too much salt in that did you?"
No, "Wow, this looks really good."
Just scrutiny.
I'm just so sick and tired of not being able to do anything right.
Then everyone decides to leave the mess for me to clean.
I'm not a fucking maid.
I know I write too much about this topic.
It's not eevn worth my time, really.
Well, cleaning always gets me thinking and I began thinking about things I should not have let my mind wander to. Things that are better left beneath the rubble of schoolwork, petty friendships, and my obsession with downloading mucic.
But music also gets me thinking.
hah.
It's something I can't escape.
Erika and Brenna got me in to reading the Twilight series recently.
I finished Eclipse on the bus ride to Disney yesterday.
Unfortunately it didn't help my emotional status anymore. In fact the ending made it worse.
"GOD, BELLA YOU IDIOT!
YOU ARE THE HICK THAT GETS MARRIED RIGHT AFTER HIGHSCHOLL THAT YOU ALWAYS FEARED.
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.
That would only be a defense mechanism.
hahaha.
Maggie and I are were swooning over Edward Cullen last night through text messages.
I'm a hopeless case. Seriously.
I try to fixate my mind on one thing and well...
look where I am right now.
Punching out some stupid entry on a journal site instead of doing my bloody homework.