Because there's simply no other way
-"So how was the ride up?" "Uh...."
-"Where are we meeting Jeff?" "We're picking him up at a gas station... which confirms my theory that Jeff is a homeless vagrant."
-"So you really do have parents." "yeah!" "So that lady who picked you up was your mother. You didn't just hire her to drop you off?" "I didn't say that."
-"Oh. I saw that guy yesterday." "Yeah sure Heidy." "No really! I did!" "Yeah, I bet your friend the unicorn just loved that story huh?!"
-"What can you do about your hairy feet?" "I can shave. What can you do?" "I can run." "But you can't hide... because you're too big."
-"Are you together?" "Not really." "What do you mean not really?" "Well, uh..." (Later) "What was that?" "Well I mean, I have a boyfriend!"
-"Crazy like mormon crazy?" "Well I don't really think mormons are that crazy but I mean I'm a little biased." "Oh my gosh is he mormon?" "Yeah. We all are." "Well, mormons aren't really that crazy. It's just the one's in the white shirts and jackets that come up and talk to you." "Yeah I did that for two years." "Oh my gosh." "No it's okay. So I'll just take my socks back now. They'll go great with my white shirt and jacket."
-"Engram! Engram!"
-"Sweeney Todd!" (Sung every five minutes in a shrill voice by Jeff.)
-"Elizabeth you are so funny. You just went under that man's umbrella. You ducked down and went under his umbrella. It was all CIA and stuff." "What did he do?" "Nothing actually. He didn't react at all."
-"That was so sweet. He didn't make me pay. I felt like he watched us for the past half hour and felt bad."
-"You gave seven dollars to a junkie! Of course she goes for the girl in pig tails."
-"Why is that man smiling at me? Is he thinking, 'Hey! You're the girl in pig tails'!" "Yeah. 'I just sold heroin to the girl you gave seven dollars to.'"
-"Do I just exude stupidity?" "No. You exude 'I'm in New York City! Look at the subway!'"
-"That's the only reason isn't it?" "No!" "Why can't I say it?" "Do you have a penis?"
-"I am so sorry Elizabeth! So sorry. I wish you didn't have to hear that. I am so sorry!" "What just happened?" "You said the f word dear." "Oh, I did didn't I?"
-"So what is Sweeney Todd about? It's a romance right?" "Yeah. It's a love story. About a teddy bear."
-"I love that we only make fun of Heidy for being fat and I never get mocked." "That's because you really are fat David so we feel bad if we mock you!"
-"Okay guys! I'm gonna' take us on a little adventure!" "... What kind of adventure Jeff?" "The kind of adventure where I'm not exactly sure where we're going!" "Okay."
-"How's Zach gonna' feel about that Heidy?" "Zane. His name is Zane."
-"Ya' gonna call Josh?" "Zane. Zane."
-"So how can you feel comfortable dating a guy named Cain?" "His name is Zane. Zane."
-"Hey! We could go to the American Girl Place!" "The what?" "You know! The dolls. Samantha, Addy, their little clothes-" "Oh my gosh! I am touring New York with the exact opposite of me!"
-"Where are we meeting Jeff?" "We're picking him up at a gas station... which confirms my theory that Jeff is a homeless vagrant."
-"So you really do have parents." "yeah!" "So that lady who picked you up was your mother. You didn't just hire her to drop you off?" "I didn't say that."
-"Oh. I saw that guy yesterday." "Yeah sure Heidy." "No really! I did!" "Yeah, I bet your friend the unicorn just loved that story huh?!"
-"What can you do about your hairy feet?" "I can shave. What can you do?" "I can run." "But you can't hide... because you're too big."
-"Are you together?" "Not really." "What do you mean not really?" "Well, uh..." (Later) "What was that?" "Well I mean, I have a boyfriend!"
-"Crazy like mormon crazy?" "Well I don't really think mormons are that crazy but I mean I'm a little biased." "Oh my gosh is he mormon?" "Yeah. We all are." "Well, mormons aren't really that crazy. It's just the one's in the white shirts and jackets that come up and talk to you." "Yeah I did that for two years." "Oh my gosh." "No it's okay. So I'll just take my socks back now. They'll go great with my white shirt and jacket."
-"Engram! Engram!"
-"Sweeney Todd!" (Sung every five minutes in a shrill voice by Jeff.)
-"Elizabeth you are so funny. You just went under that man's umbrella. You ducked down and went under his umbrella. It was all CIA and stuff." "What did he do?" "Nothing actually. He didn't react at all."
-"That was so sweet. He didn't make me pay. I felt like he watched us for the past half hour and felt bad."
-"You gave seven dollars to a junkie! Of course she goes for the girl in pig tails."
-"Why is that man smiling at me? Is he thinking, 'Hey! You're the girl in pig tails'!" "Yeah. 'I just sold heroin to the girl you gave seven dollars to.'"
-"Do I just exude stupidity?" "No. You exude 'I'm in New York City! Look at the subway!'"
-"That's the only reason isn't it?" "No!" "Why can't I say it?" "Do you have a penis?"
-"I am so sorry Elizabeth! So sorry. I wish you didn't have to hear that. I am so sorry!" "What just happened?" "You said the f word dear." "Oh, I did didn't I?"
-"So what is Sweeney Todd about? It's a romance right?" "Yeah. It's a love story. About a teddy bear."
-"I love that we only make fun of Heidy for being fat and I never get mocked." "That's because you really are fat David so we feel bad if we mock you!"
-"Okay guys! I'm gonna' take us on a little adventure!" "... What kind of adventure Jeff?" "The kind of adventure where I'm not exactly sure where we're going!" "Okay."
-"How's Zach gonna' feel about that Heidy?" "Zane. His name is Zane."
-"Ya' gonna call Josh?" "Zane. Zane."
-"So how can you feel comfortable dating a guy named Cain?" "His name is Zane. Zane."
-"Hey! We could go to the American Girl Place!" "The what?" "You know! The dolls. Samantha, Addy, their little clothes-" "Oh my gosh! I am touring New York with the exact opposite of me!"