Wish I knew
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts when eating a homegrown tomato."
So. "I talked to my Daddy" would be code. So many mixed emotions right now.
There is a part of me that wonders very much who I belong to. Not so much who belongs to me because it seems to me that many people do in some little way. Who do I belong to? I don't think anyone will understand this concept so I apologize to anyone trying to make sense of it. I don't even mean it in a romantic way, although this feeling is often sparked by watching the various couples around campus. Some are friends, some are not, and some used to be. I wonder if there is a part of me that I have given to anyone. I know various people will remember small things I have said or done for various reasons but I don't think there is really a part of me there. Sometimes I simply get sleepy. I'm just a little "sleepy" of the one-way trading of bits of soul. Wow. I sound terribly dramatic. I have not been myself of late and you know, I don't think anyone has noticed. And that's not because of them! It's because I don't put my self on display. That's why it's so comforting to me when people like Cameron ask if I'm okay becasue I know he's asking because he sees that something is definately NOT okay! Of course... that has it's own awkward elements. If people didn't care I don't know what I would do. I have been told many times that I am completly transparent. I agree... most of the time. Not right now.
Mist and shadow. Cloud and shade.
I'm silly. I feel a little better. Sometimes it's just so nice to wallow in a little hurt. As long as you recognize that's what you're doing.
And I do. And Granger is going to swimming.
And there is so much noise! And the world is beautiful. And I am being completly ridiculous.
Here I go. I think chocolate would make everything better!
So. "I talked to my Daddy" would be code. So many mixed emotions right now.
There is a part of me that wonders very much who I belong to. Not so much who belongs to me because it seems to me that many people do in some little way. Who do I belong to? I don't think anyone will understand this concept so I apologize to anyone trying to make sense of it. I don't even mean it in a romantic way, although this feeling is often sparked by watching the various couples around campus. Some are friends, some are not, and some used to be. I wonder if there is a part of me that I have given to anyone. I know various people will remember small things I have said or done for various reasons but I don't think there is really a part of me there. Sometimes I simply get sleepy. I'm just a little "sleepy" of the one-way trading of bits of soul. Wow. I sound terribly dramatic. I have not been myself of late and you know, I don't think anyone has noticed. And that's not because of them! It's because I don't put my self on display. That's why it's so comforting to me when people like Cameron ask if I'm okay becasue I know he's asking because he sees that something is definately NOT okay! Of course... that has it's own awkward elements. If people didn't care I don't know what I would do. I have been told many times that I am completly transparent. I agree... most of the time. Not right now.
Mist and shadow. Cloud and shade.
I'm silly. I feel a little better. Sometimes it's just so nice to wallow in a little hurt. As long as you recognize that's what you're doing.
And I do. And Granger is going to swimming.
And there is so much noise! And the world is beautiful. And I am being completly ridiculous.
Here I go. I think chocolate would make everything better!