back to school dreams
i have these every once in a while, but i think it's significant that i had one this morning, as i was waking up to go to the local DHS office for a food stamp application interview. there's something deeply appalling about having other grown people who are just like you poring over a few pieces of paper with all your personal information on them to decide whether you're broke enough to deserve food stamps. i can't emphasize enough, however, how much the particular people i saw in this process tried to minimize that feeling. they are good people doing the best work they can and all of them treated me with deep humanity and sympathy and even humor - even though they themselves were all being audited.
what they do is, they give everyone either an afternoon cattle call or a morning one. you're specifically told to plan on being there all morning, or all afternoon. then you show up, wait your turn, and then finally leave - or not - with your food stamp benefits card loaded and ready to go. i was lucky enough to be called first - and i have no idea why. but you have to be there for the cattle call at 7:30, which meant i had to get up at the same time as i would if i were lucky enough to be going to work today, which i am not. which i guess put my mind in this strange mood for the back-to-school dreams that i fear and despise. that's what i was thinking about this morning as i was trying to get ready to go, and back to school dreams do not leave me easily... they seem to cling like a spiderweb caught in my eyelashes, and i can't get them out of my mind.
i can't remember the dream itself, but i remember in the twilight sleep of awakening that i was wondering why my mum hadn't taken me school shopping yet, since school is so close. then i thought, if she forgets to take me, does that mean i don't have to go to school? wow, that would be great! no wait - what *grade* am i even in? ...i'm not in a grade...! am i even in school? didn't i finish it already? wait .. wait, i don't think i do have to go. no, i'm out of school, i'm almost sure of it...
this is what makes for a very hazy morning.
it's september first. the bite of fall has been in the air the last few days, just since the first rain. i'm glad of it and a little sad at the same time. i should get out and really enjoy this day. this day that i do not have to spend chained in school.
what they do is, they give everyone either an afternoon cattle call or a morning one. you're specifically told to plan on being there all morning, or all afternoon. then you show up, wait your turn, and then finally leave - or not - with your food stamp benefits card loaded and ready to go. i was lucky enough to be called first - and i have no idea why. but you have to be there for the cattle call at 7:30, which meant i had to get up at the same time as i would if i were lucky enough to be going to work today, which i am not. which i guess put my mind in this strange mood for the back-to-school dreams that i fear and despise. that's what i was thinking about this morning as i was trying to get ready to go, and back to school dreams do not leave me easily... they seem to cling like a spiderweb caught in my eyelashes, and i can't get them out of my mind.
i can't remember the dream itself, but i remember in the twilight sleep of awakening that i was wondering why my mum hadn't taken me school shopping yet, since school is so close. then i thought, if she forgets to take me, does that mean i don't have to go to school? wow, that would be great! no wait - what *grade* am i even in? ...i'm not in a grade...! am i even in school? didn't i finish it already? wait .. wait, i don't think i do have to go. no, i'm out of school, i'm almost sure of it...
this is what makes for a very hazy morning.
it's september first. the bite of fall has been in the air the last few days, just since the first rain. i'm glad of it and a little sad at the same time. i should get out and really enjoy this day. this day that i do not have to spend chained in school.