isn't "repeated, unwanted contact" covered in the anti-stalker laws?
Dear Hallie,
I think Ameriquest can really help you.
Give me a call at 1-800-573-0050
Steven
typically, what i do with junk mail is this: i wad it up however it may be necessary to stuff it back into its own postage-paid envelope and seal that puppy up. right back into the box it goes with the flag standing proud. i don't even have to bring it in the house, though i have a growing distaste for handling this garbage with my bare hands.
sometimes, if it's REALLY important - oh, like this offer i got from newsweek? just today. it must have been one hell of a deal, whatever it was (i confess i didn't read it) because they sent it to me TWICE, with slightly different spellings of my name! i guess they wanted to be sure i'd get one or the other. i decided that the prepaid envelopes were a good opportunity to return the favor. if all these Important Offers that were lying 'round their HQ are now in mailboxes cross the country, then they must be pretty short on junk mail now, right? to soften the blow of loss, i thought maybe i could spare the REI mailer we got last week. i had to tear it up to make it fit in the envelope, but hey - they're resourceful people, they'll figure out how it goes together. i also put in a national geographic mailer. it had come in this nice plastic cover, to make sure it didn't get wet or anything - they must know oregon weather in late spring, eh? they're national geographic! and the photos were bright and pretty and printed on nice, heavy paper. i couldn't let it go to waste! but i did have to rip that one up also, to make it fit the reply envelope. it was a shame - it truly was. they really should make the reply envelopes bigger. then they'd get some really quality junk mail back from my house. i get lots of it; i'm more than willing to share.
but you know - steven's post-it note there got me thinking, as i crammed it and the envelope it rode in on into its new postage-paid home. i thought, steven wants to help me! and he thinks ameriquest can do it. okay, ameriquest - since you asked, here's what i need help with: my car really could use a wash. there's a light fixture in my living room that could use a new transformer - i'll buy it, you pay the electrician, mkay? i really kind of need a couple more hours in the week, because some of these 12 and 13 hour days nannying with the new family can wear a person out! but i know i shouldn't ask the impossible - so how about a prepaid massage therapist appointment for the next 24 years, until this loan is paid off? also, i've heard CRT monitors are bad for the health, so a flat screen would be super sweet. as long as you're out, anyway.
you know what else, steven? there are things i need help with that money can't buy. i could really use some help reducing the number of innocent trees that are slaughtered every year so that you can stalk me with the same usurious loan offer three times a week for years and years. i've signed up with the direct mail preference service and opted out of every list that i'm aware of, but it doesn't seem to reduce the number of dead trees choking my mailbox out there. i'm really at a loss now. what can ameriquest do for me to help get rid of junk mail, steven? if that is your Real Name?
but hey - i shouldn't be the only one taking steven up on his offer. he desperately wants phone calls! he's been saying so for YEARS, people - and i can't handle his attention needs on my own. please, if you care about steven - and i think by now you should - please give him a call! ask ameriquest to help you; they are positively DYING to help! maybe you're not plagued by spam like i've been, but think of something! maybe they can do your laundry, or scrape that burned shit off the inside of your oven. maybe you really need an oil change, but don't want to get your hands all greasy. that stuff that's waiting to be hauled to the dump? i'll bet ameriquest would do it! they WANT to help! please call them. they want you to want them, need you to need them. call them now, after hours, this weekend, whenever you have time! please call. don't forget to ask for steven. his number, again, is 1-800-573-0050. don't wait! they really think ameriquest can help you. at least, steven does.
I think Ameriquest can really help you.
Give me a call at 1-800-573-0050
Steven
typically, what i do with junk mail is this: i wad it up however it may be necessary to stuff it back into its own postage-paid envelope and seal that puppy up. right back into the box it goes with the flag standing proud. i don't even have to bring it in the house, though i have a growing distaste for handling this garbage with my bare hands.
sometimes, if it's REALLY important - oh, like this offer i got from newsweek? just today. it must have been one hell of a deal, whatever it was (i confess i didn't read it) because they sent it to me TWICE, with slightly different spellings of my name! i guess they wanted to be sure i'd get one or the other. i decided that the prepaid envelopes were a good opportunity to return the favor. if all these Important Offers that were lying 'round their HQ are now in mailboxes cross the country, then they must be pretty short on junk mail now, right? to soften the blow of loss, i thought maybe i could spare the REI mailer we got last week. i had to tear it up to make it fit in the envelope, but hey - they're resourceful people, they'll figure out how it goes together. i also put in a national geographic mailer. it had come in this nice plastic cover, to make sure it didn't get wet or anything - they must know oregon weather in late spring, eh? they're national geographic! and the photos were bright and pretty and printed on nice, heavy paper. i couldn't let it go to waste! but i did have to rip that one up also, to make it fit the reply envelope. it was a shame - it truly was. they really should make the reply envelopes bigger. then they'd get some really quality junk mail back from my house. i get lots of it; i'm more than willing to share.
but you know - steven's post-it note there got me thinking, as i crammed it and the envelope it rode in on into its new postage-paid home. i thought, steven wants to help me! and he thinks ameriquest can do it. okay, ameriquest - since you asked, here's what i need help with: my car really could use a wash. there's a light fixture in my living room that could use a new transformer - i'll buy it, you pay the electrician, mkay? i really kind of need a couple more hours in the week, because some of these 12 and 13 hour days nannying with the new family can wear a person out! but i know i shouldn't ask the impossible - so how about a prepaid massage therapist appointment for the next 24 years, until this loan is paid off? also, i've heard CRT monitors are bad for the health, so a flat screen would be super sweet. as long as you're out, anyway.
you know what else, steven? there are things i need help with that money can't buy. i could really use some help reducing the number of innocent trees that are slaughtered every year so that you can stalk me with the same usurious loan offer three times a week for years and years. i've signed up with the direct mail preference service and opted out of every list that i'm aware of, but it doesn't seem to reduce the number of dead trees choking my mailbox out there. i'm really at a loss now. what can ameriquest do for me to help get rid of junk mail, steven? if that is your Real Name?
but hey - i shouldn't be the only one taking steven up on his offer. he desperately wants phone calls! he's been saying so for YEARS, people - and i can't handle his attention needs on my own. please, if you care about steven - and i think by now you should - please give him a call! ask ameriquest to help you; they are positively DYING to help! maybe you're not plagued by spam like i've been, but think of something! maybe they can do your laundry, or scrape that burned shit off the inside of your oven. maybe you really need an oil change, but don't want to get your hands all greasy. that stuff that's waiting to be hauled to the dump? i'll bet ameriquest would do it! they WANT to help! please call them. they want you to want them, need you to need them. call them now, after hours, this weekend, whenever you have time! please call. don't forget to ask for steven. his number, again, is 1-800-573-0050. don't wait! they really think ameriquest can help you. at least, steven does.