A Birthday Ficlet - Love and Fear of Loss
Title: Love and Fear of Loss
Author: aunteeneenah
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 653
Pairing: Connor/Ryan, established relationship
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. I just bend them to suit my needs. I make nothing from this.
Summary: Connor clearly Loves Ryan but fears losing him.
A/N: This is an AU where Ryan made it back from the Permian, albeit, quite damaged. This is a late birthday gift for our beloved fififolle and was betaed by our own fredbasset. Any mistakes are my own.
“Ryan! I’m home!” Connor shouted as he entered the flat he shared with his partner. Hearing nothing, he continued down the hallway, shedding his bag, coat, and hat haphazardly on the floor and nearest chair.
“Ryan!” he shouted again, beginning to panic a little. “Where are you?”
“Connor, sweetie, I’m right here.” Ryan walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Just couldn’t find you, could I?” Connor said with a small nervous smile.
“Connor,” Ryan said as he slowly moved into Connor’s space, placing his hands on Connor’s hips, “there are going to be times when you get home that I won’t be here. I may be at a doctor’s appointment or therapy, but I’ll always leave you a note or let you know when I have to be out.”
“I know, “ Connor whispered, as he leaned into Ryan. “it’s just that you were hurt so badly and you almost didn’t make it and I was lost without you.” As he spoke, Connor’s eyes filled with tears as he remembered those long months after Ryan was brought back from the Permian after being attacked by the future predator.
“Con, do you know what got me through that?” Ryan spoke soothingly and moved closer to Connor, taking him into his arms.
“What?” Connor said with a sniffle.
“You, of course. Every time I woke, you were there, holding my hand, talking to me, reading to me, keeping me from giving in to the pain and just… ending it all.”
Connor’s head snapped up, locking eyes with Ryan. “No, you’re the strong one, the one who will never give in to pain.”
“Connor,” Ryan leaned in and kissed Connor, “all of us have moments in our lives when we just want to give up, but you were there for me during my darkest times. With your joy for life and your strength..,”
Connor spluttered, “Strength? Are you kidding? Remember me, I’m the nerd, the weak one.”
“Connor!” Ryan interrupted. “You are one of the strongest people I know, especially when it comes to protecting the ones you love and I am so lucky and privileged to be one of the people you love.”
Connor stared into Ryan’s eyes. “Sappy, much?” He smiled. “I’m sorry, Ryan. I shouldn’t have said that but you know I hate compliments.”
“Not much, you don’t,” laughed Ryan. “You preen like a peacock whenever anyone compliments you.”
Connor nodded and had to concede the point but said, “Seriously, Ryan, I love you and I almost lost you. I can’t forget that and if I get a little freaked when I can’t find you right away, you’ll just have to accept that.”
Ryan pulled his young lover closer into his arms. “Con, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, but I am freezing. Can we take this somewhere a little more comfortable?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Connor grinned and began kissing Ryan’s neck as he backed him towards their bedroom. “You need warmth? I think I can arrange that.”
Ryan smiled and dropped the towel as he allowed Connor to guide him to their bed.
Connor looked down and smiled as he saw Ryan’s cock begin to swell and then dropped to his knees and engulfed Ryan to the root, beginning to suck him gently. The warmth of his mouth and the sucking caused Ryan to gasp and scrabble at the walls on either side of him in order to stay on his feet. “Connor!” he gasped out. “Couldn’t you have waited until we were in bed?”
Connor pulled off Ryan’s cock with a pop. “Nope. Just looked too damned inviting.” He stood up and put his arms around Ryan, pushing his hard cock into Ryan’s. “You’re right, let’s take this to the bed.”
They walked into their bedroom arm in arm, closing the door behind them. Secure in their love.