I can see that our neighbors, the Fireman and the Coffee Lady, plus their various offspring, are going to figure prominently in my journal this summer
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You okay, Mrs. J? You look like you're going to pop or something... - no shit sherlock!
Oh. My. God.
You are evidently some kind of saint-in-training.
I love this kid's logic - "You should wear dresses more often, Mrs. J. because if you did, your husband would think you were HOT, and if he thinks you're HOT, maybe he'd be more interested in you, and you'd have more BABIES! Because when husbands think their wives are HOT, the wives have BABIES!" - sweet thing, wearing dresses less often is more likely to get that result...*snicker*
And he asked if your boobs were real they must really be something *is jealous*! has he no manners?
Hope things don't get to stressful. Though - you should write this summer up into a book. It would be the most effective contraceptive ever *grin*!
I am not a saint-in-training, trust me. Mostly, I just grok kids, especially boys. But this one... oh, boy, it's a wonder I have any teeth left, because I clench them sooooo hard. I did once send him back home saying, "You better apologize to your mama for telling family business to someone who doesn't need to know. And you tell her exactly what you told me, do you hear?"
I think you could hear the slap probably all the way to San Antonio!
Did I mention there are six kids in his family? Evidently, he thinks two are too few (while I think they are MORE than enough!).
And no, he has no manners, and my boobs aren't that impressive, which is probably why he asked if they were real. After breastfeeding two kids, the fact that the Husbandly One is still happy with them is plenty impressive for me!
Ohhh, you have yourself a certified Highly Annoying Neighbor Child™. My deepest sympathies. *bites lips to contain the chuckles*
Was the noisy thing one of those jumpy houses for the kiddos?
Also, next time he says something about you wanting to have more babies, just look him straight in the eye and say, "But then I might have one like you." Don't say anything else, just smile sweetly.
Also, also, my esteem for you--already super high--went up about ten notches. You homeschooled? Dear lord, you have faaaaar more patience than I do.
Should I get a liquor-filled chocolate-filled package together for you? A sort of survival kit? Complete with voodoo dolls? :D
They have a business where they RENT those jumpy houses for kids.
But no, that's not the noisy thing. The noisy thing is either a wood-chipper or the Lawnmower From Hell. I'm not sure. Here it is, nearly NOON, and it's STILL GOING!!
I only home-schooled Miss Priss for kindergarten. And this while dealing with a new baby. That's what made me decide that homeschooling was not for us. Instead, I supplement what the kids get at school with instruction at home. Because the school district in our town is teh suck. Big time. Put it this way, several schools need major repairs, we need a few educational specialists, yada yada, but there's "no money" for it. However, there WAS money for members of the school board to all buy brand new SUV's. With district money. Yah. REAL happy about that, I am.
Hmmmmm... voodoo dolls... tempting... very tempting! Eey, you are the BEST!
I don't know... I'm thinking little Brandon may have just the queer eye for the straight guy. He sure knows his prettying up techniques. He's got the reasons behind them a bit backwards (I'm sure we can blame the parents for that), but he seems to be awfully knowledgeable. I'd suggest getting him a fashion and beauty book for his next birthday. He'd be in hog heaven. And may just leave you alone for a while. :) (Especially when his parents find out who gave him the book. *lol*)
Omigosh, I never thought of it that way, but you may have a point!! *snorts with laughter* And yes, you CAN blame the parents for that, and oh, won't their conservative, Southern Baptist little hearts be shocked if Brandon does turn out to be...er... bent?
*falls over laughing again*
After all, that's why they're home-schooling. To preserve their children from "unwholesome influences." Which makes you wonder why they keep sending their kids over here!
What makes it so darned funny (and keeps me from killing him) is that he's absolutely CLUELESS about what he's saying. He genuinely thinks he's being friendly. *shakes head*
Hunny...you have moved into town with the rest of teh Stepford wives. Didn't you get the redneck 101 manual for women?
Clearly this little boy is getting the complete course. He should be a fine redneck husband one day...if he can just find a woman who likes being beaten until she behaves properly.
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Oh. My. God.
You are evidently some kind of saint-in-training.
I love this kid's logic - "You should wear dresses more often, Mrs. J. because if you did, your husband would think you were HOT, and if he thinks you're HOT, maybe he'd be more interested in you, and you'd have more BABIES! Because when husbands think their wives are HOT, the wives have BABIES!" - sweet thing, wearing dresses less often is more likely to get that result...*snicker*
And he asked if your boobs were real they must really be something *is jealous*! has he no manners?
Hope things don't get to stressful. Though - you should write this summer up into a book. It would be the most effective contraceptive ever *grin*!
*hugs and sends positive thoughts*
Reply
I am not a saint-in-training, trust me. Mostly, I just grok kids, especially boys. But this one... oh, boy, it's a wonder I have any teeth left, because I clench them sooooo hard. I did once send him back home saying, "You better apologize to your mama for telling family business to someone who doesn't need to know. And you tell her exactly what you told me, do you hear?"
I think you could hear the slap probably all the way to San Antonio!
Did I mention there are six kids in his family? Evidently, he thinks two are too few (while I think they are MORE than enough!).
And no, he has no manners, and my boobs aren't that impressive, which is probably why he asked if they were real. After breastfeeding two kids, the fact that the Husbandly One is still happy with them is plenty impressive for me!
Reply
Was the noisy thing one of those jumpy houses for the kiddos?
Also, next time he says something about you wanting to have more babies, just look him straight in the eye and say, "But then I might have one like you." Don't say anything else, just smile sweetly.
Also, also, my esteem for you--already super high--went up about ten notches. You homeschooled? Dear lord, you have faaaaar more patience than I do.
Should I get a liquor-filled chocolate-filled package together for you? A sort of survival kit? Complete with voodoo dolls? :D
Reply
But no, that's not the noisy thing. The noisy thing is either a wood-chipper or the Lawnmower From Hell. I'm not sure. Here it is, nearly NOON, and it's STILL GOING!!
I only home-schooled Miss Priss for kindergarten. And this while dealing with a new baby. That's what made me decide that homeschooling was not for us. Instead, I supplement what the kids get at school with instruction at home. Because the school district in our town is teh suck. Big time. Put it this way, several schools need major repairs, we need a few educational specialists, yada yada, but there's "no money" for it. However, there WAS money for members of the school board to all buy brand new SUV's. With district money. Yah. REAL happy about that, I am.
Hmmmmm... voodoo dolls... tempting... very tempting! Eey, you are the BEST!
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*wipes laugh tears off cheeks*
Omigosh, I never thought of it that way, but you may have a point!! *snorts with laughter* And yes, you CAN blame the parents for that, and oh, won't their conservative, Southern Baptist little hearts be shocked if Brandon does turn out to be...er... bent?
*falls over laughing again*
After all, that's why they're home-schooling. To preserve their children from "unwholesome influences." Which makes you wonder why they keep sending their kids over here!
Reply
Man, and I thought the girls I teach were pains in the arse!!
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*grooves with Snape*
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Hunny...you have moved into town with the rest of teh Stepford wives. Didn't you get the redneck 101 manual for women?
Clearly this little boy is getting the complete course. He should be a fine redneck husband one day...if he can just find a woman who likes being beaten until she behaves properly.
Banging head on desk.
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