Grand-Daddy's Smart-Ass Gene™: It's Genetic
The Impossible Son has one class period that at one time might have been called "study hall." However, this one is more interactive, as it's basically a tutoring period because our district fell way behind on math and reading scores ("hmmmm, wonder how that happened?" Auntie asks sarcastically). So... he's getting extra help in math and in language arts.
So, a couple of days ago, they were working on "correcting sentence fragments," basically changing fragments and making them into whole sentences. And the example given was "at the station," which had a finished example of "I can meet you at the station tomorrow morning."
Then the teacher made the mistake of saying, "But that's boring, I'm sure y'all can do better than that!"
Heh.
So... these are the sentences my SON came up with. His "corrections" will be in italics. You might want to put any liquids far from the computer, and don't drink anything while reading, because some of them are surprisingly hysterical.
Don't say I didn't warn you!
1. Before the dance I killed a vampire.
2. While we worked on the experiment my friends turned into zombies.
3. Once the baseball season begins, THEY WILL COME!!
4. Ahead of me, he watched me with a bat.
5. After the summer vacation, vampires came.
6. Without a pen or pencil I can't kill Bigfoot.
7. Opposite the park he still watched me, but with Bigfoot.
8. When she began to speak a bear came, wielding a sword.
9. Even though the temperature was warm, the bears took over.
10. From my seat, I could see the orcs coming.
11. Next to the library, they were still watching me.
12. How the rumor spread was because of the duck.
13. On top of my dresser was a honey badger.
14. Past the principal's office, they continued to watch me.
15. When they are found, we take them to NARNIA!!
I think my personal favorite is #6. I laughed so hard when he read that one out to me that I nearly drove us into a ditch. Though... a bear wielding a sword is pretty funny, and so is a honey badger on a dresser. I wonder if it cares?
For eleven years old and having virtually no writing instruction beyond what I cram down his throat during those times he's willing to sit still for it, that's not a bad fledgling effort at letting his wonderfully weird sense of humor show through. What kind of bothers me, though, is the teacher had laughed and said, "This is weird. It's crazy, what's up with this??"
And then I remembered, "Oh, wait, that's right, they don't have things like irony, humor, and creativity here." Because, you know, this sort of thing, well... it's normal at my house!
Yes, yes, I'm getting sarcastic again.
Still, I'm proud of what he's done, and happy to see his creativity developing. I can't wait to see what he does next!
So, a couple of days ago, they were working on "correcting sentence fragments," basically changing fragments and making them into whole sentences. And the example given was "at the station," which had a finished example of "I can meet you at the station tomorrow morning."
Then the teacher made the mistake of saying, "But that's boring, I'm sure y'all can do better than that!"
Heh.
So... these are the sentences my SON came up with. His "corrections" will be in italics. You might want to put any liquids far from the computer, and don't drink anything while reading, because some of them are surprisingly hysterical.
Don't say I didn't warn you!
1. Before the dance I killed a vampire.
2. While we worked on the experiment my friends turned into zombies.
3. Once the baseball season begins, THEY WILL COME!!
4. Ahead of me, he watched me with a bat.
5. After the summer vacation, vampires came.
6. Without a pen or pencil I can't kill Bigfoot.
7. Opposite the park he still watched me, but with Bigfoot.
8. When she began to speak a bear came, wielding a sword.
9. Even though the temperature was warm, the bears took over.
10. From my seat, I could see the orcs coming.
11. Next to the library, they were still watching me.
12. How the rumor spread was because of the duck.
13. On top of my dresser was a honey badger.
14. Past the principal's office, they continued to watch me.
15. When they are found, we take them to NARNIA!!
I think my personal favorite is #6. I laughed so hard when he read that one out to me that I nearly drove us into a ditch. Though... a bear wielding a sword is pretty funny, and so is a honey badger on a dresser. I wonder if it cares?
For eleven years old and having virtually no writing instruction beyond what I cram down his throat during those times he's willing to sit still for it, that's not a bad fledgling effort at letting his wonderfully weird sense of humor show through. What kind of bothers me, though, is the teacher had laughed and said, "This is weird. It's crazy, what's up with this??"
And then I remembered, "Oh, wait, that's right, they don't have things like irony, humor, and creativity here." Because, you know, this sort of thing, well... it's normal at my house!
Yes, yes, I'm getting sarcastic again.
Still, I'm proud of what he's done, and happy to see his creativity developing. I can't wait to see what he does next!