What aunt_zelda Thinks: GoT S5, ep01, The Wars to Come
On tumblr because why not.
SPOILERS for every season, this episode especially, and some references toA Dance with Dragons. Things will be getting convoluted as the show diverts and keeps up with the books, so basically, if you haven’t read it all and seen it all, don’t read my recaps/ramblings because here there be SPOILERS.
Comments written while watching the episode. Stream of consciousness. I have a complicated relationship with the show so some of this is me complaining, snarking, rambling in a TWoP way, and squeeing over my favs. This is not an in-depth analysis. These are my first impressions:
*aggressively hums to theme song*
Please don’t disappoint me this season. I ask for so little, show!
.
.
.
OH MY GOD THEY’RE DOING THE THING. THE SCENE. WITH BABY CERSEI! AND HER DEAD FRIEND. “NO FLASHBACKS” MY ASS.
Maggy the Frog, another whitewashed and needlessly sexified character. Woo.
.
.
.
IDK how I feel about Tyrion anymore, on the show he’s less evil, in the books, I kinda hate him now? Meh. Great actor, do not really care about the character’s storyline anymore.
.
.
.
TWO POC Characters, in ONE SCENE?!?!?! TOGETHER?!?!?! This is gonna end in death.
While it did end in death, I am pleased that 1) the prostitute was not murdered and 2) we got to see some nice, possibly asexual cuddling action. That’s a first for this show I believe.
.
.
.
Oh great, turning Sam’s awesome political savvy to get Jon elected into “omg must save the first girl I ever kissed.” Auuughghghghghh.
.
.
YAY MEL! ILU MEL! YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVS! PLEASE DON’T HAVE SEX WITH JON SNOW HE BORES ME.
“Are you a virgin?” WTF is this cheesy porno starring none of my favorite combos.
.
.
OMG STANNIS! STANNIS AND DAVOS! SHARING A ROMANTIC VISTA VIEW! AWWWWWW! TWENTY-TWO MINUTES IN AND MY FAVS ARE HERE! : DDDDDDDDD
STANNIS AND DAVOS AND MEL ALL TOGETHER BEING A TEAM AWWWWWWW YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! POSITIVE CHANGE FROM THE BOOK. (SEE I CAN COMPLIMENT THE SHOW.)
Aww they’re doing a Walk and Talk. The Westeros Wing. YAY.
I AM SO HAPPY. LOOKIT DAVOS AND MEL STANDING SO CLOSE TOGETHER! UNITED FRONT. PLOTTING TO TAG TEAM STANNIS LATER UNDER A PILE OF BLANKETS. YAY. I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
I’m so confused where Brienne and Pod will go, now that they have diverged from the books so much. Can I hope for Lady Stoneheart? I wanna.
.
.
.
OMG Loras stop. Or don’t. I needed a giggle. Thanks.
WHOA, Lancel! He’s … different from the books.
I either like where this is going or I don’t. Only time will tell. Making this a personal vendetta from a creepy guy Cersei slept with instead of a massive religious overhaul worries me.
.
.
.
Ooooooo, more lanky pale blond gay men!
I mean, I will take what I can get from this show. It’s not much, but it’s all they give me.
(Like, I doubt Stephen Dillane and Liam Cunningham and Carice van Houten are gonna have a threeway, not even HBO likes to do M/M/F threeways.)
.
.
.
The lack of Willas bothers me and complicates this “Loras marries Cersei” thing.
Wait so it’s not gonna be Cersei’s paranoia that’s gonna bring her down, it’ll be Margaery scheming? I’m … ok with this? Maybe?
.
.
.
Hang on is f!Aegon gonna be in this show?
“Gentler than Stannis” Fuck right off, Varys. Stannis loves his daughter, gelds rapists, and has a woman and a commoner as his right-hand people. He wants the throne because it’s the right thing to do, his duty, not for ambition. I mean, he aggressively middle-child-syndromes everywhere he goes, but he’s not a monster.
WHOA. So f!Aegon is … gone. Tyrion AND Varys are going to see Dany. SO MANY CHANGES. MY HEAD IS SPINNING.
.
.
.
Mmmmmmm, entirely naked man, and Dany under a sheet. I love this.
.
.
.
Mance would vote for Stannis, but he’s gotta stay within his party lines. I mean, you know what I mean.
I kinda wish Stannis was in this scene instead of Jon? That’s my personal bias though, I’ve never been that fond of Jon. The actor is fine enough with what he’s given, but the character just doesn’t do it for me. I wanna see a meeting of two great kings, not Jon rasping to Mance while Mance, frankly, acts circles around him.
.
.
.
Oh no, Team Dragonstone brought their dim lighting to the Wall!
I have no freaking clue where this is going. In the books it’s so different. We are in uncharted territory now.
“Bend the knee, I promise you mercy. … Kneel and live.”
*faints* Mmmmmm, Stephen Dillane, talk dirty to me.
Minor point here, but, that is NOT how you burn someone alive. Like, it would take hours like that. Very long hours. It would not spring up and burn that fast or hot enough to kill him or generate enough smoke to kill him. Those are blocks of wood. Not many either. Back in the day they’d like, pile up the wood and straw and stuff around the person too. IDK who their historical advisor is on this show but this is not accurate to how people were burned alive in the Medieval Ages.
Jon can’t stand to stay and watch, which is bad, what with people already thinking he loves the Free Folk too much. Tormund looks like he’s gonna rip someone apart. Gilly can’t watch and buries her face on Sam’s shoulder. Shireen closes her eyes. Kinda wish there was more acknowledgement of women being used to atrocities back then and attending public executions but whatever. (No, Selyse looking like she’s getting off on this whole show does not count.)
OH NO JON WHY DID YOU DO THAT. THAT WAS REALLY DUMB JON. JON NO. NO. NOOOOOOOO. AUUUUGGGHHH.
.
.
.
NEXT WEEK:
DORNE! DORNE! JULIAN BASHIR! DOOOOORRRNNNNNNEEEEEE! JULIAN BASHIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Arya at the House of Black and White! Cool!
Some other stuff that doesn’t interest me because WHERE IS STANNIS, EXCUSE YOU PROMO PEOPLE. I WAS PROMISED TEAM DRAGONSTONE FOR THE FIRST FOUR EPISODES AT LEAST.
_______________________
Prostitutes: 3
Dead prostitutes: 0
Rape/Sexual Assault: 0
Gay Sex: One scene, between two white men, showing intimacy instead of outright lust.
Team Dragonstone: TWO MAJOR SCENES THAT ARE LENGTHY AND WELL-LIT
My favs: ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE!!! : DDDDDDDDDD
Conclusion: Tentatively hopeful for the future.