Comments | aunt_zelda: The JO Situation: Finally, closure!

aunt_zelda

The JO Situation: Finally, closure!

Feb 18, 2012 01:18

http://tgwtgrumours.tumblr.com/post/17808829670/jesuotaku-and-the-rumours#notes

FINALLY! Someone confirming that yes, JO said that awful stuff. It's great that she's changed, but it was bothering me after the whole TGWTG Secrets debacle that she was denying she ever said that stuff and making things horrible for Rants and the confused fans and those ( Read more... )

gay rights, tgwtg, angst, dancing, today, college, tumblr

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aunt_zelda February 18 2012, 22:45:05 UTC

Tbh, what bothered me more was JO's flat out refusal to acknowledge it had happened. I believed everybody saying that she had changed and was no longer a homophobe. I was willing to buy into it - if she had said 'Okay, yeah, I had said some really problematic stuff, but that's in the past, and I apologize for it.'
Yeah, me too. I can accept that people can be raised in a certain way that they have these unfortunate beliefs, and when they get online and/or grow up they find out that those beliefs can hurt people's feelings at best or be considered grossly offensive at worst, and then they learn and grow and get friends and change for the better ... but you have to be willing to admit that you said that stuff, and certainly don't deny it to people's faces.

Knowing that she did, in at least some corners, acknowledge and apologize, softens me somewhat towards her.
Me too. It's why I feel like I can watch her videos again. That and the fact that the information is all out now.

Edited to change to slightly more appropriate icon. :-D
I love that icon.

freya_sacksen February 18 2012, 22:57:30 UTC

Yeah, me too. I can accept that people can be raised in a certain way that they have these unfortunate beliefs, and when they get online and/or grow up they find out that those beliefs can hurt people's feelings at best or be considered grossly offensive at worst, and then they learn and grow and get friends and change for the better ... but you have to be willing to admit that you said that stuff, and certainly don't deny it to people's faces.
I just consider it part of being an adult. This whole thing would have been over a lot quicker if JO had said 'Yeah, I said some really homophobic things a while back; however, I have reassessed my beliefs and come to the conclusion that they were incorrect'. Boom. All of this would have blown over SO MUCH QUICKER, there wouldn't be all this hubbub about it and people wouldn't still be calling her homophobic. The worst she might get is people asking what caused her to reassess it or asking her what caused her to have those beliefs in the first place, in which case she can just say 'I don't feel comfortable answering those questions'. Leaving those questions unanswered leaves a lot less hubbub than denying something which people can confirm for themselves.

I love that icon.
It was an awesome conversation that led to it. :-D

aunt_zelda February 18 2012, 23:02:18 UTC

Mostly, I felt bad for Rants. Poor guy was trying to keep a lid on a crazy mess and thought that people were telling lies when they were actually telling the truth.

This whole thing would have been over a lot quicker if JO had said 'Yeah, I said some really homophobic things a while back; however, I have reassessed my beliefs and come to the conclusion that they were incorrect'. Boom. All of this would have blown over SO MUCH QUICKER, there wouldn't be all this hubbub about it and people wouldn't still be calling her homophobic.
Exactly. That's all that was needed. *sighs*

It was an awesome conversation that led to it. :-D
I'll bet!

freya_sacksen February 18 2012, 23:27:02 UTC

Mostly, I felt bad for Rants. Poor guy was trying to keep a lid on a crazy mess and thought that people were telling lies when they were actually telling the truth.
*snarl*
Don't talk to me about Rants. I fucking hate Rants. After his victim-blaming white-knighting douche-baggery regarding the whole 'one of the contributors is a stalker' and ARGH FUCK I HATE HIM HATE HATE HATE.
...yeah, don't get me started on Rants.

I'll bet!
Over in fanficrants, somebody midway through a rant about how authors kept dividing people up into 'straight' and 'gay' said 'bisexuals are not unicorns! They exist!' and someone decided to make 'Bisexuals/Pansexuals Are Not Unicorns' icons. I snatched up one while I could. :-D

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:32:09 UTC

Butting in to say I kind of agree about Rants. It was good of him to let that secret through, because obviously that's something that needed to be addressed if it was true, but then he went and kind of ruined it. And I really don't get why everyone is all over him saying how he's such an amazing person and SO NICE and stuff. Like, he doesn't seem like a dick, but...that's just basic human decency and nothing to need special attention. I really have to conclude that it's because he's a GUY that he gets most of the fawning he does.

freya_sacksen February 18 2012, 23:34:03 UTC

And that last comment to her, oh god, the one where he said that without evidence he couldn't trust her, and how he was all 'oh nobody came forward' because with all your white-knighting, yeah, you made it so easy and such a welcoming atmosphere for somebody to come forward you attention-seeking asshole!

ARGH.

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:36:18 UTC

Typical male privilege douchebaggery, sadly.

freya_sacksen February 18 2012, 23:38:39 UTC

It's because of assholes like that that I almost threw myself off a bridge last year. It wasn't cool then, it's not cool now.

Also, the fact that Ven kept giving Rants Holly's contact details, and he didn't post them until Holly herself gave them...oo, that makes my blood fucking boil.

And then, when I tried to call him on it, he just went 'oh, but no one came forward, this is just a secrets blog what do you want meeeeeee to do about it?'

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:42:18 UTC

People were under no obligation to come forward to fucking Rants of all people, it's not his business if someone was stalked/molested/taken advantage of/whatever actually happened since I don't know specifics. Maybe they came forward to HOLLY and not some fan on Tumblr. Especially a guy fan.

freya_sacksen February 18 2012, 23:45:07 UTC

Like I said though - the fact that he put off posting her details until she gave the details was just icky. Especially when Ven had been asked by Holly herself to give the details.

Beyond that, Rants could have easily given the details at the start, it's not like any of that is private information.

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:49:09 UTC

Yeah, you're totally right. I have no idea if it was true or not (no one's ever confided anything like that to me) but I error on the side of, you know, actually believing victims. The first thing he should have done was post Holly's contact info.

emeriin February 18 2012, 23:41:41 UTC

Hey now, don't insult the gender by lumping assholes like him with everyone else.

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:44:37 UTC

Ah, sorry. I didn't mean that all guys were assholes. I meant that he was coming from a place of 'male privilege' where sexual assault and things like that are a much more distant threat than to someone of the female persuasion. But you're right, I could have worded that better and I apologize.

emeriin February 18 2012, 23:47:54 UTC

It's okay, I might have snapped and I apologize. The sixth paragraph of this http://noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/human-rights-abuses-and-prison-rape/ just got in my mind today and freaked my wee brain out.

achika_chan February 18 2012, 23:53:27 UTC

D: That article is horrifying.

aunt_zelda February 18 2012, 23:48:24 UTC

That part REALLY bothered me. Yeah, a tumblr full of angry defensive anons is totally the right place to address internet stalking and I'd definately admit to being harassed in front of people who'd flat-out deny my "wild accusations" just because the person harassing me is mildly famous and comes across as so nice in videos ...

Actually, that makes me REALLY angry now, considering what one of my best friends has gone through in her life. There's no better way to get me angry than to start victim-blaming.

I think people say Rants is nice because for the most part he's in charge of this big opinionated mess, and he gets upset and anxious when people are upset because of the blog. It's a pity kind of thing, like, I feel bad that someone who's socially awkward is trying to deal with tricky situations. But at this point it's irresponsible at times, like with the JO thing or the "someone is stalking people" thing. He really shouldn't be in charge of the blog by himself, he takes things too personally and he hasn't learned from past situations.

Can we talk about how much the tgwtgrumors person rocks? 'Cause they make me happy.

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