What aunt_zelda Thinks: 'Dead is Dead' and 'Some Like it Hoth'
Double-feature, people! And half-way decent recaps to boot!
"Dead is Dead"
(Yay! A Ben-episode!)
Previoulsy on Lost: Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben! Sayid shot Little!Ben, but that just meant crying foul to Captain Eyeliner to save the future-past. Alex died, and that hurt Ben. And me. And every human with half a heart. Sun is a sexy BAMF. Locke and his boyfriend need therapy.
A man who looks like Indian Jones and Buno Pelletier's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI8yzy0pDv8) love child storms around the Hostile Huts (TM) and tries to pick a fight with Richard, who's all 'Jacob made me do it, nyyyah!' Charles (I knew it was him the moment he started speaking, because MAN, they totally nailed that accent. And the face. Seriously, is this actor related to the actor who plays Old Charles?) speaks with Little!Ben, and while putting out a kind face, I suspect he's secretly plotting the kid's death.
Real-Time Ben wakes up and starts recoiling very, very slowly as Locke resists the urge to go 'mwah hahahahhahhaa!' after his 'welcome back to the land of the living' line. You are a strong man, John Locke. Ben is all 'I KNEW the Island would necromancy you back up, honey!' and Locke's all 'then ... why are you so surprised?" instead of giving a feasible answer like 'I thought you'd kill me as soon as you could stand up' Ben spews some mumbo-jumbo about believing and seeing and I'm standing by the theory that Ben is a lying liar who lies, until further notice. Locke asks why Ben was heading for the Main Island (who told him that? The people going there already absconded with Christian!) and Ben says that by coming back he broke the rules, and he was going back to be 'judged.' Locke wins my heart by saying 'by whom?' and looses it by getting this insanely scary look on his face. Then Ben says something really, really scary: "Well, John, we don't even have a word for it ... but I believe you call it 'the monster.'" DUN! YEEK! *dives behind the couch*
Some of the New Red Shirts are scared of Ben. I don't blame them. Cesar goes over to Ben to make friends, and unwittingly becomes Ben's latest pawn. Seriously, it's almost SAD how easily Ben can manipulate people to his will. Then again, Locke isn't helping with his 'Magical Bald Man' act. Now Ben knows where the sawed-off shotgun is. Dangit, Cesar, your good-intentions will get you killed! Better hope you have an interlocking backstory with at least four other passengers, slept with your wife's sister, went to Australia after the millennia, and killed a man to watch him die, or you're TOAST here on Purgatory Island!
In the past (of the Present, the start of the show, and most of the flashback, but only about thirteen-or-so years from 1977 judging by Ethan's age) Big-Ben-with-a-bad-haircut and Creepy-pre-teen Ethan observe some plane wreckage near the beach. As soon as I see the hut, I recognize Danielle's den. Ben knocks over the music box (complete with Sun-backstory-ballerina!) and proceeds to steal baby Alex. It's horrifying. I'm not even sure if it's mission of mercy - Danielle did, you know, kill her husband and teammates, and for all we know she's gone insane and is not capable of taking care of her own child - or the Others just being evil. All I know is that Danielle looks honestly distressed and desperate about Mr. Bug-Eyed Monster taking her baby - she's now lost EVERYTHING: her husband, her friends, her home, and now her CHILD ... if she wasn't crazy before, she is now - and that Ben actually comes to love Alex as a daughter. So ... everybody's right? *sniffles*
In Real-Time, Ben rifles through the desk in the Place None of Us Recognized Shame On Us Viewers until he finds a picture of him and Alex. Naaaaw. *cries* He pockets it, and then gets very nervous when Locke shows up. Locke deduces that this was Ben's old office, and proceeds to sit down in Ben's chair, put his feet up on Ben's desk, and all-but spray-paints 'I OWN YOU, BITCH!' on the walls. Ben asks if John wanted something. I gulp. Locke says that he thought they should talk about "the elephant in the room." My jaw drops. J.J. Abrams, are you seriously gonna out two of the main characters at once ... aaaaaw dammit. THISCLOSE, people, THISCLOSE! Ben says "I assume you're referring to the fact that I killed you?" and Locke's all "Yeah." *headdesk, headdesk, headdesk*
Ben launches into this long speech about how the only way to bring back as many of the Oceanic 6 as possible was for Locke to die, and he stopped Locke from killing himself because he needed the info about Mrs. Hawking, and he didn't have time to convince his boyfriend to commit suicide so he "took a shortcut." he goes on and on about how the whole thing worked out, and everyone's back ... he's not sure where, but they're back! Ben concludes by saying "I did it because it was in the best interests of the Island."
And then Locke says "I was just hoping for an apology." and gets this toad-smirk on his face. Like, halfway between a scowl, a smile, and a 'I am going to KEEL YOU DED!!!!1!!!!11!!!!' snarl. He says he's gonna help Ben go and be judged, and when Ben objects that "that isn't something you want to see" Locke says if Ben really did everything in the best interests of the Island "I'm sure the monster will understand." I don't think Smokey will understand one bit. NEED I REMIND YOU THAT IT ATE MATT PARKMAN?! But Locke smiles and says "Let's go ..." and Ben follows like the good little uke he is.
Ben and Locke uncover one of the boats. Cesar and Three Big Guys who aren't actually wearing Red Shirts, but whatever, rose by any other name etc. come up and Cesar's all "what in the hoo how? You're not taking any boats, crazy man! You're gonna sit down and recap for the new viewers!" Locke says Cesar is in the habit of calling people 'my friend' but guesses that he doesn't really mean that. Things escalate, Cesar goes for his gun ... but Ben has it! And THEN HE SHOOTS CESAR OMG! Ben eyes the three remaining Red Shirts and says "This gentleman and I are taking a boat." he asks for objections, there are none, and he tosses the shotgun to Locke, who deftly catches it. Meow! "Consider that my apology." Ben says. *reels from the badassery* I hope there's a bit more than shooting one of the latest New Characters to Ben's apology to his boyfriend. Fanficers? Please?
The boys tie up at the Dock. Locke asks if it was Sun who hurt Ben's arm, and Ben says no, "someone else hurt my arm." ARGH, BEN STOP SPEAKING CRYPTIC, SPEAK ENGLISH POR FAVOR! Locke says that Ben makes friends everywhere he goes. Ben snarks "Well I've found that sometimes friends can be significantly more dangerous than enemies, John." God, it's like watching Harry Dresden and John Marcone ... except ... not really ... *resists the urge to start reading Turn Coat before I'm done with these recaps* Locke doesn't think that Ben wants to be judged for coming back and breaking the rules, Locke things that Ben wants to be judged "for killing your daughter." OH NO YOU DI'N'T! *tries to snap and fails because I. am. so. white.* Why does everyone on this show think that Ben killed his daughter? Evil Evil Keamy killed Alex! Ben thought that by pretending Alex didn't mean anything to him, they'd let her live. He genuinely cared about Alex and actually UPSET about her death. Unlike, say, when he orchestrated the genocide of the Dharma Initiative, or the up-close-and-personal murder of his father, or breaking Juliet's spirit by showing her Deadwin, or turning Sayid into Evil James Bond, or ... need I go on? There's a million awful, terrible, no-good, dirty rotten things Ben has done in the course of this show, but failing to save his daughter's life is NOT one of them.
In the past (after the Dharma-Death, before A15 crashed, just after Ben took Alex from Danielle) we discover that Charles ordered Ben to go kill Danielle, but didn't tell Ben that she had a KID. AHA! Ben balks at the idea of killing the baby, asks if that's what Jacob wants, and then tries to hand off Alex to Charles, telling him to kill Alex. Charles folds and storms away. Richard makes lustful eyes at Ben. Ben looks kinda shocked at what he just did.
In Real-Time, they've arrived at the Barracks. Locke asks if it was Ben's idea to relocate the Others to the Dharma houses. They argue about knowing what's best for the Island. Hee. That could be a show. "The Island Knows Best." Suddenly, a light in Ben's house flickers on, and a very Alex-looking shape appears in the window! Locke prods Ben forward, 'cause he ain't goin' into no haunted house!
Ben enters a dusty and messy house. The Risk board (yay, continuity! I NEVER get tired of continuity!) is still on the table.
Ben opens the door ... ON SUN! GODDAMMIT J.J. ABRAMS STOP TRYING TO GIVE ME HEART-ATTACKS! Frank the Pilot storms down the hallway soon afterwards, demanding what Ben's doing here. Ben snarks that this used to be his house. Sun and Frank show him the picture of Kate, Hurley, and Jack in the Dharma Initiative in 1977. Ben didn't know about that. So, in the time it takes for Ben to recover from the gunshot wound and get back to the Barracks ... Jack, Juliet, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin, Sayid, Miles, and Daniel will be gone in some way, shape, or form, thus ensuring that time/space doesn't explode all over my TV screen? That's good to know ... *puts down plastic just in case*
Sun and Frank tell us and Ben that Christian (Ben looked freaked at the mention of that name) told them to wait here for John Locke, but as he's dead, they're a tad confuzzled. Ben tells them to look out the window, and Sun and Frank's 'OMG!' faces are not to be missed. Locke gives them a bit of a wave. Hee.
Sun and Frank stare at Locke. HEE. The ensuing conversation is almost as fun as the Time-Travel one from last week (well, three weeks ago for you lot.) Frank wants to get the hell outta dodge and go back to the rest of the gang, leaving Ben ('a murderer') and Locke ('a guy who can't seem to remember how he climbed out of a coffin') but Sun stays because Locke dangles the hope of Jin in front of her. She looks so pathetic, huggling that picture with Frank telling her he's leaving with or without her. Frank leaves, and I'm sad, because I really love Frank. Pilots represent!
Locke tells Ben to do his judgment thing, and Ben opens the bookcase door, shuts the blast door, goes through the door behind his rack of suits, and then opens a door that has what look like hieroglyphics (or possibly Mayan designs, I'm a recapper, not an archeologist!) and proceeds with the tense music down a scary stone archway and staircase, then grabs an oil lamp and crawls down a tunnel. He finds a puddle of muddy water (is he in the Well?) and pulls some kind of plug so the water drains. He announces "I'll be outside." and leaves. Uh ... ok? (God, I love this cracktastic show.)
In the past (after the baby-snatching, before A15 crashed) Ben is pushing Alex on a swingset. Naaaaw. Richard comes up and tries to reenact a snapshot of my life (when I was about the age that Alex was, I had two daddies ... *sniffles* I'm ashamed to admit that I also wore dresses like that.) and tells Ben that the sub is about to leave, and he doesn't NEED to see 'him' off, but Ben and his icky haircut say yes, he does need to.
Charles is being led towards the sub ... in handcuffs. Wow. I certainly didn't expect THAT! Apparently he's being banish'd because he left the Island numerous times and had a daughter "with an outsider." Huh. Charles makes with the threatening talk, somehow managing to be even scarier than Ben, despite being in handcuffs and being forcibly exiled from his home. He's all nemesis, no pleading or repentance. Freak. I wanted some foe-yay! All I got was the urge to go hide under my bed!
In Real-Time, Ben finds Sun on the porch, and Locke nowhere in sights. They argue about Locke's deadness, and Ben admits that the Island has never brought back the dead before (uh ... Charlie begs to differ ...) says the episode's title, and adds that the fact that Locke is walking around on the Island "scares the living hell out of me." He hears rustling in the jungle and tells Sun that she should probably go inside ... and Locke stumbles out of the jungle. Ok, seeing as this is Mr. Tracker Extraordinaire who's supposedly in-tune with the Island, I highly doubt that Locke made any more noise than he wanted to, and suspect that he heard the whole conversation between Sun and Ben about him not being supposed to be alive. Locke says they'll have to go to the Monster. Ben doesn't know where it lives. Locke does. D'oh!
Locke tells Sun that he knows this is all really weird, but assures her that he's the same man he was. He adds that signature Locke-grin to the end of that sentence, which may creep Sun out, but it certainly comforts me to no end. Locke may be Jesus, but at least he's the same old Locke!
Flashback! Ben strides down a very familiar-looking pier in the suit he was wearing when he was all beat-up. He's called up Charles, who demands to know how he got the number. "Doesn't matter!" Ben quips, no doubt thanking the Lost-posting boards for formulating the lucky combination of 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42. He cheerfully tells Charles that he, Ben, is going back to the Island today. Charles sneers that he won't succeed: Charles has been trying for twenty years. Ben says that he'll succeed where Charles failed ... just as soon as he, you know, KILLS CHARLES' DAUGHTER. He freaks Charles out by knowing the name of the boat Penny's on, and we see that he is indeed looking right at Penny. NOOOOOOOO! She has an ickle kid now! And Desmond is HAPPY! LEAVE THE HAPPY DESMOND ALONE! THE FANGIRLS WILL RIOT!
Real-Time, in the daylight, in the jungle, Ben pesters Locke with questions for the viewers' sakes. Locke 'just knows' where he's going. Ben asks how exactly that words, did it happen gradually, or did Locke wake up one morning "suddenly understanding the mysteries of the universe?" "You don't like this, do you?" Locke says suddenly. "What?" Ben asks. "Having to ask questions that you don't know the answers to. Blindly following someone in the hopes that they'll lead you to whatever it is you're lookin' for." Oh god, he's speaking meta! Ben attests that no, he doesn't like that. "Well, now you know what it was like to be me," Locke says. Heh heh! Ben and his ever-changing eyes (they're green here, but they've been gray or brown before, I'm certain of it!) look somber, probably remembering how leading Locke on a certain quest into the jungle ended, and wondering if Locke intends to shoot Ben and leave him in a pit of skeletons. Sun comes up and interrupts the Foe-Yay, bless her little heart, and they continue onwards. Ben now knows where they're headed, it's where the Others healed him as a child. (So ... he remembers that? I thought he wouldn't remember ... maybe they told him?) Apparently what we thought was the Temple is actually a wall AROUND the Temple. Huh. Locke says that they aren't going into the Temple, they're going UNDER it, and indicates the hole in which Danielle's team went into and came out of insane. Ben looks like a man who's just been led to the gallows, or a guy who's seen his own tombstone. He looks up with puppy dog eyes, and tells Sun that if she ever gets off the Island again to tell Desmond Ben's sorry. Sun asks for what, and I, the TWoP Lost recapper, and everyone else get sinking feelings in our stomachs. Ben says "he'll know why" glances at Locke, and then proceeds to climb into the hole like he's climbing into his own coffin.
Flashback! Right after Ben hung up on Charles. Ben gets a scary look on his face and heads for the boat, and Penny. I whimper "No ... please ... don't!" Des sees Ben just as Ben is about to draw a gun ... and BEN SHOOTS DESMOND OH MY GOD! Then Ben storms down the dock and holds Penny at gunpoint, and their altercation is perfectly realistic and believable. And then Ben hears and sees Toddler!Charlie. Penny pleads "Please don't hurt my son! Please don't hurt my son!" and just as Ben lowers his gun, to further confuzzle us, the audience, about how the hell to classify this man, Des leaps down the dock and goes all Papa Bear on Ben's ass. Ben doesn't even fight back. His face is mangled and he gets thrown into the water. Huzzah? Huzzah. *falls to the floor and huggles J.J. Abrams around the legs* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou ...
In Real-Time, Frank arrives on the beach, and a harried Red Shirt informs him that Illana and "three of the others" found guns and declared themselves in charge. Dammit, Cesar, you died just before things got good! Frank approaches Illana and The Big Red Shirt, who both pull guns on him. I'm not sure if they got the guns from the silver box, or if they're still trying to open it, but seeing as Illana asks Frank "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" and knocks him out when he says he doesn't have a clue what she's talking about, I don't think THAT question matters. Illana tells Big Red (let's name him 'Clifford,' ok?) to ready the others and tie Frank up, because Frank is coming along. Frank blacks out. Illana is sexy. And probably stupid. And possibly a Red Shirt.
Locke and Ben light torches. I guess they left Sun behind. What, is the Temple a 'No Girls Allowed' place, or is Sun just not mystical enough? Ben says that Locke was right about why he wants to be judged: Charles' men gave him a choice: leave the island, or Alex dies. All Ben had to do was walk outside ... and he didn't. Ben looks really close to tears. He's grimy and bloody and baring his soul. I think there's a reason Locke's shiny bald head and suit are contrasting Ben's unkemptness. Locke has found peace of a kind. Ben has yet to be redeemed. I'm going on metaphysical tangents again, pardon me ...
Ben says that the needs to answer for killing Alex (FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU DIDN'T KILL HER!) and says he appreciates Locke guiding him, but forges on ahead on his own. He takes about two steps before the floor collapses under him. Hee. That's what you get for not keeping Jesus at your side! Locke confirms that Ben is reasonably ok and leaves to find a rope or a vine or something, leaving Ben alone in a creepy tunnel with creepy music. There's pillars with hieroglyphics (and what looks like Chinese or Arabic ... and then a large wall in a kind of alter with Anubis (OMG *GEEKSPASM*) kneeling in front of what looks like a lightning-bolt snake, which is, I assume, Smokey in hieroglyphic form. We hear Smokey 'chitta-chit-chitta-chit' ... and then Ben's light goes out and this grating starts to exhale Smokey and I am SOOOOOO glad I'm not Ben right now.
Ben steps back, and then he's enveloped in ... well, smoke. It's really, really scary. He sees flashbacks to do with Alex, and a heartbreaking repeat of the bits right before she died, and when Keamy killed her. At that, Ben flinches and starts crying. I start to wibble. Then Smokey retreats back through its grate. I was about to start all-out bawling at that tease of a scene when Ben looked around and saw Alex. Then I started choking, because from then on it's waaaaay too many emotions and rollercoaster events for one recap, let me tell you, and it's late. Anyhoodle, Ben appologizes and says it was all his fault ... and then Alex breaks both of our hearts and says "I know." then she slams Ben into a pillar, making him drop the torch, and tells him that she knows he's planning on killing Locke again, and if he harms him again 'she' will hunt him down and destroy him. She makes him swear to obey everything John Locke says and follow him. Then she leaves. DAYUM. Ben is crying. I would if I had the time or brainpower. Mostly I'm just shocked.
Locke is back at the top of the hole. He has a vine, and yells for Ben. He asks what happened. Ben looks up at Locke for a long time, as stunned as I am. "It let me live ..." he says in a very broken sort of voice.
...
...
...
WOW.
That was some episode, eh? Definitely one of my favs!
"Some Like It Hoth" (aka BEST TITLE FOR AN EPISODE EVER!)
Miles's mommy checks out an apartment. Miles's daddy is 'out of the picture.' WOW! DADDY-ISSUES! On this show? No way! Miles looks to be very young here, maybe old enough for kindergarten or 1st grade at the most. He heads out to the vending machine and gets a whallop of Ghost-sense. Little!Miles touches the door, gets the key, and heads inside. Suddenly he starts yelling for his mom. Mom and Landlord come running. A man is lying dead on the floor. Miles says that the guy was calling out and scared because his chest hurt and crying for 'Kimberly,' whom the Landlord identifies as the man's wife, who died last year. Miles says that the guy is still yelling. His mom is freaked. The Landlord is freaked. "I can still hear him!"
Yeek! We cut to 1977, Miles is reading a magazine in the Dharma monitoring station. Sawyer calls him on the walky and we learn that it's a little after the end of two episodes ago, after Richard carried Ben into the jungle. Sawyer wants Miles to erase the tapes. Miles in contrary but eventually agrees. Just as he's about to pull the tape out, Horace comes in and decides to bring Miles into 'the circle of trust.' It involves bringing something wrapped in a black blanket to Radsinsky in a grid that's Hostile territory, and bring something back in return. I don't like where this is going, not one bit.
Miles drives up and Rasinsky, clad in impractical black fatigues, unwraps the package: it's a body bag. Two other guys in black bring a third - dead - guy out on a stretcher to put into the bag. Miles asks what happened. Rad says the guy had an accident and 'fell into a ditch.' Miles notes the bullet hole and asks "the ditch had a gun?" Hee. Rad tries to be menacing and says it doesn't matter, it's not his job to know. I notice that the two guys loading the body into the van are wearing hard-hats, much like the ones Daniel was wearing at the beginning of the season when Dr. Candlewickwax was checking out the energy pocket and the Foreman was laughing about Time Travel. The guys vanish into the jungle, and Miles pulls the bag off the guy's head and says "Ok ... what really happened?" Yay!
A teenaged Miles with a very silly hairstyle and enough piercings to catch Molly Carpenter's eye knocks on a door. He says "I need to see her" and the woman at the door lets him in. His mother is lying on a bed, most of her hair missing. Oh god ...
She wakes up and they hold hands. He apologizes for "not being able to make it sooner" and she says it's ok because he's here now. She asks why he's there, and he says it's because he needs to know why he is the way he is and who his dad is. Cue tense 'he's dead' and 'he kicked us out when you were just a baby' dialogue. Poor Miles. He wants to know where his dad's body is, and his mom gets a fierce look on her face as she answers "somewhere you can never go." Why do parents on TV always get cagey when their kids want to know their origin story? I understand in the case of Dear Frankie but that was a rare exception.
In 1977, Horace tells Miles to take the body to 'Dr. Chang' at the Orchid. Miles gets testy, and so does Horace. Utto. Is my wild-and-crazy theory gonna turn out to be right after all?!
Miles is scared by Hurley loading the lunch pails (well, boxes really, but it's more fun to say 'lunch pails') into the van next to the covered-up-in-more-ways-than-one body. Hurley says that if they carpool they can prevent Global Warming. HEE. HEE. HEE! Hurley registers Miles' twitchiness and says "Wait a second ... you on some kind of secret mission?" and Miles says "Just get in." YAY! He slams the door of the trunk shut ...
... and Juliet opens the cupboard. Kate walks in and confirms that Ben is with the Others ... and then Ben's dad rushes in with the supplies they sent him a-questing for. He's FURIOUS that his boy has vanished, and storms off to Security. Juliet and Kate exchange a look, and Juliet says "Well ... here we go." Dear oh dear ...
Miles drives down the jungle road. Hurley scribbles in a Dharma journal and asks how you spell 'bounty hunter.' Hee. Miles asks if he's writing his memoirs, and Hurley clutches the book to his chest and says "it's personal." At the word 'bounty hunter' my mind immediately went to Sexy Illana, but seeing as the episode is called 'Some Like It Hoth' ... who knows?
Hurley eventually gets Miles to pull over ... and he discovers the body bag. "Dude, there's like, a body bag back here ... with a body in it." Miles says "Well, traditionally, that is what you put inside body bags." Heeeeeeeee. ILU Miles!
Hurley asks who the dead guy was, and how he died. Miles says that his name was Alveraz (YAY! Oz! Or ... not so much yay ...) and he was thinking about a girl named 'Andrayah' and then there was this pain in his mouth which turned out to be a filling being yanked out and blown into his brain. Oh, EEEEEEEEEEW! That's ... horrible.
Hurley figures out that Miles can 'talk to dead people,' and Miles neither confirms nor denies this. Hurley says Miles' secret is safe with him. "You wanna know why?" "No." Miles snarks. Heeeeeeee. Hurley says that he can talk to the dead too. Miles looks shocked and interested, though his little snarky heart is gonna get crushed when he finds out that Hurley has been, ya know, insane. *huggles Miles, then Hurley, and then both of them*
In the past (after A15 crashed, before season 4) Miles probably swindles some money from a grieving father. To be fair, he thought there would be a body to 'talk' to, so he has to settle for holding the man's hands and attempting ... or at least, pretending to attempt to talk with the guy's son. As he takes his cute little suitcase to his car and makes me want to write a Lost/Dresden Files crossover, Naomi walks up. WAHOO! She makes a sales pitch and asks him to come to a restaurant and hear what she has to say. Miles has dollar signs and hearts in his eyes as he follows her. Hee.
In 1977, Kate stupidly tries to pep-talk Roger. Doesn't work. Roger is a jerk, and Kate annoys me waaaay to much to completely take her side here.
Still in 1977, Miles and Hurley argue about Dead-People-Talking. It works differently for both of them. Hurley says "you're just jealous because my powers are better than yours." OUCH. Hurley knows exactly how to push Miles' buttons. It's so much fun to watch.
They're at the station. Dr. Chang is mad that Hurley's there. Hurley accidentally blabs about the body. Miles tries to cover, but Dr. Chang threatens Hurley with polar-bear scooping duty if he breathes a word about the body to anyone. He calls the stuff going on on Hydra island "ridiculous experiments." Dr. Chang is an elitist, in case you didn't know.
Even though I already knew it, my eyes still bug out when Miles says "That douche is my dad."
In the flashback-land (after Naomi propositioned Miles) it turns out that she didn't ask him out to dinner ... she said she'd bring him to a restaurant. A closed-up restaurant with a dead man in a plastic bag in the back. Miles has a cool coat. He's a tad nervous about all of this, but he should be glad Naomi didn't lead him to a meat locker with a bunch of Johnnie Marcone's crew waiting around. Miles reads the guy, and it turns out that he was on his way to deliver papers and photos to Whitmore about the fake Oceanic flight A15 stuff. Naomi says she needs him for the expedition to an island, where there are a lot of deceased people who could supply the location of the guy they're gonna be hunting down. Miles says that sounds fun and safe, but he'd rather not hunt down mass-murderers. He turns to leave (without offering to give her back her money.) Naomi says "My employer is willing to pay you 1.6 MILLION dollars." Miles turns around and asks "When do we leave?" Naomi grins. I laugh. Miles, ILU.
Back in 1977, Hurley thinks it's really weird that Miles' dad is "that dude from all of those movies." Yes it is, Hurley, yes it is. Hurley asks how long Miles has known. Miles says that their third day here, his own mother got in line behind him in the cafeteria. WOW. I'd have loved to see the look on his face ...
Hurley asks if Miles wants to save his dad, as all the 'Dharma dudes' end up, you know, slain in a pit in the jungle. Miles is all 'inevitable, blah blah blah.'
Dr. Chang returns and wants Miles to take him to Radinsky's work station right away. He looks on the verge of laughing during his exchanges with Hurley. Miles inquires as to the body, and Dr. Chang asks "What body?" Yeek.
Jack wipes down the chalkboards. Roger stagers in with his janitorial stuff. Jack wanted to cover for him, having heard about the Ben debacle. Roger is mad and drunk. He is also suspicious of Kate. You can practically hear the 'rut-row!' going on in Jack's head. Jack goes all 'you've had a long day and you're drunk ... crazy ideas' but stupidly adds that Kate is his friend and he knows she'd never hurt Roger's son. He should have left that part out. Roger doesn't look convinced to me.
Still in 1977, Hurley tries to make things as awkward as possible without loosing a smidge of his adorkableness. Miles gives him these FANTASTIC '0_0' looks and Dr. Chang gives the audience some fantastic '>83' looks.
Dr. Chang opens a hedge. Cool! In a cool reveal involving the Numbers that Hurley recognizes, we learn that they're building the Hatch. "The one that crashed out plane." Hurley adds. DUN!
Sometime before the end of S4 in ... Mexico? Near a Mexican taco stand, at least, at night, Miles is grabbed by some people in a Kidnapping Van. Hey, at least it's blue, and not the standard white. Clifford (the Big Red Shirt) is the only unmasked person, and tells Miles that he's sorry, but his apartment is being watched and this is the only way to try and convince him to not work for Charles Whitmore. Miles plays dumb, and honestly doesn't understand what Clifford means by asking "Do you know what lies in the shadow of the statue?" As Miles doesn't know the answer, Clifford says that he isn't ready to go to 'that island.' Huh ...
Clifford offers Miles info about his gift, and who his dad is. Miles says he stopped caring about that ages ago, and says all he cares about now is money. He wants double what Whitmore is offering. Clifford says that they aren't paying him, and adds that "all the money in the world isn't going to fill that empty hole inside of you." Ooooo ...
Miles snarks (well, maybe he snarks, I'm not sure, you can never REALLY be sure on this show) "That's sad, isn't it?" and Clifford tells the guys to 'toss him.' They do have the decency to toss Miles out once the van is stopped, at least, which is way more than most hooded kidnappers will do. Clifford tells Miles that he's playing for the wrong team. "Yeah? What team are you on?" "The one that's gonna win." Clifford grins, making me suddenly doubt everything the man has said up until this point. People who talk about being on the winning side are seldom heroes. They're either anti-heroes out for themselves, or villains, and since Clifford seems to be part of a group, I'm going with villain until we get further intel.
Back in 1977, Miles listens to more of Hurley's yammering and screeches the van to a halt. "We're only gonna have this conversation once!" he snaps. Hurley asks if Dr. Chang beat up Miles when he was little, which is a plausible idea. Miles says that his dad wasn't even around. He then wonders aloud why he's even telling Hurley this. "Because you're in pain and you need to let it out." Hurley says. "I'm not in pain!" Miles yells in a text-book example of Daddy-Issues. Hurley says that Miles' dad isn't gone, they just dropped him off! Miles gets fed up and grabs Hurley's journal and races outside to read it. He reads it aloud. It is HYSTERICAL. It's a fan-made script of The Empire Strikes Back. "He shakes his fury-fist" and other such lines abound. Hurley says he needs a spellcheck. LOL. LOL. LOL. ILU HURLEY! ILU MILES! ILU GEORGE LUCAS! Hurley says that the first Star Wars just came out, and George Lucas will be looking for a sequel soon, and so Hurley wanted to send this scrip along "with a few improvements." Miles says that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard of. Hurley retorts that at least he's not to scared to talk to his own dad. Touché! I want to know about these 'improvements!' Are there space-monkeys?! Terrifying space-monkeys?!
Still 1977, Sawyer comes home to pretty Juliet. He gets out of having to use the Dutch word for dam by seeing Jack in his house drinking from his mug and sitting on his couch. Well, they all talk about Kate being stupid and Roger being suspicious, but you know Sawyer's getting all territorial in his head. Jack leaves. Sawyer watches him go. Ho!Yay!
Annoying Phil walks up, with the tape. Sawyer brings him inside, finds out that Phil was stupid and didn't tell anyone else, and knocks him out cold with one blows. I feel like there should have been a 'kaPOW!' sticker on the screen. Sawyer tells Juliet to get some rope. Rowr!
In the past (before the finale of S3) Miles goes back to the Dad he swindled, because he did indeed swindle him. He returns the money and says he couldn't reach the man's son. The Dad asks why he didn't just let him go on believing that. Miles says it's because that wouldn't be fair to the guy's son: if he loved his son, he should have told him while he was still alive. Ooooooo, BURN! Then he leaves with a knapsack roughly the same size as Kristin Chenoweth.
Back in 1977, Hurley confesses his own daddy-issues. His dad left when he was 10, the TWoP recappers call him 'Cheech,' and the best thing he ever did was give him a second chance. Naaaaaaaw. Miles says that he never knew his dad, and doesn't want to. Hurley says that Luke thought like that too. Once he found out that Vader was his father, he sliced around with his lightsaber instead of talking about it, and got his hand cut off. Hee. ILU HURLEY! Then Hurley talks about things that my spellcheck won't recognize, and I'm up too late to look up. Hurley says it could have all been avoided if they'd communicated, "and let's face it, dude: Ewoks suck." Heh heh ...
Miles sees his dad reading a book to his younger self. The actor playing Dr. Chang looks ADORABLE with that little kid. Props to the actor for being able to play a creepy scientist AND a dad. Miles actually tears up. Dr. Chang gets a call, comes outside, and says he needs Miles. "You do?" Miles asks, choked up. *wibbles* Apparently the sub just arrived with scientists from Anarber. Utto ...
One of them is DAN! And he recognizes MILES! And Miles recognizes HIM! PARADOX! NOOOOOOOOOO! *ducks to avoid pterodactyl-monster-things from Father's Day from eating the world*
Next week?! WTF? Nooooooo!
Ok, ok: the 100th episode (which is a big deal with TV shows, and it was right after the party for Angel's 100th that they found out they were cancelled. GRRRRRR!) bullets! Smokey! An explosion! Cars! Van! Yelling! Utto!