What's the point when you can't really enjoy anything?

[aunt_gemini]

Last semester i was entirely focused on everything except my school work. this semester things are completely different. i'm working so hard. i don't think i've put this much effort into anything else in my life. it's working our great. i've been able to keep high marks in all my classes, so that's a plus. but all of that comes at the expense of not spending time with friends and family. i don't have time to go out on weekends. i'm always working on something. i know that this semester is huge, especially since i fucked up two gardes last semester, but i really miss everyone. i went out on friday for someones birthday and then hung out with a few people afterwards, but that's been the first time i've gone out with friends, other than adrian, in a really long time. i haven't even spent much time with adrian recently. i know that when the year is finished i'll look back and be grateful that i worked so hard, but at the moment i can't help but think that i'm missing out on so much with people. i spend all my time with textbooks!ahhh...i feel like i'm standing in one spot and never moving away from it. it's the same routine everyday. get uo, go to school, learn something, come home, do homework, study, sleep (if i'm lucky enough to do that). man, grade 12 sucks ass. i'm always so tired and there's a million things running through my head all the time. at least it'll be over in a couple of months and i can relax. that's another thing. despite all the work i have to do, i'm not really stressed out about it. it's strange to me becasue i'm usually always stressed out about something, because it's rare that i'm doing nothing. maybe i feel like this simply because the last two weeks or so have been uber-busy, and the week coming up will be worse. oh well...i'll just have to find a way and get it done, even if it means not being around people...i miss my friends. soon it will all be over, marks will be in, and i can have a chance to chat it up with everyone and have real conversations instead of talking about the amount of work we all have to finish.

on another note, friday night was quite possibly the most awkward evening i've ever had. dinner with many people that you do not have a lot in common with can be very strange. but i did have a really good milkshake :)

at the risk of sounding like the most materialistic person in the world, i really like my new cell phone and i really, really badly want to go shopping! oh shopping...how i miss thee..its a shame i have no money of my own to spend. hoorah for credit cards!

the new jack johnson cd is amazingly awesome. go buy it...don't be cheap and downlaod songs *glares at those who download*...i don't really care if you download or not, i mean, i love burning cds! this was a strange end to this post