MAY SUCKS
Thank God it's the last day. And thank God this year is fucking OVER.
They shredded my curriculum. The class that was previously a full year of British Lit is now a semester of Advanced Composition and Research (oy) followed by a semester of Brit Lit. Since we still have to do a research paper second semester, that reduces the literary content of the course by about sixty percent. So I didn't do Chaucer this year, I didn't do Swift, I didn't do the Romantic Poets. Pretty much Beowulf and Macbeth and a few sonnets and that's it.
Sigh.
It's not that I don't think these kids need more work on writing and research. Of COURSE they do. It's just not what I enjoy teaching.
But hey, with all this extra class time spent on writing and research, the papers this year must have been better than past years, right?
...right?
Here goes.
Lady Macbeth started persuading Macbeth to killing King Duncan because she new Macbeth was the next runner up. (I am imagining Duncan in a sash & tiara and Macbeth standing behind wearing a plastic, congratulatory smile...)
Queen Elizabeth was very accurate to her people and they was accurate to her. (Usually I have an idea of what word they meant. Not this time.)
Marlowe kind of led he's life in a successful direction. (Depends on how you look at it, I suppose.)
A tragic hero is a character which has a fatal flow. (Is it a flow from a major artery?)
Her words and thoughts were highly acceptable. (I want to use this phrase sometime because it's so delightfully bland and vicious.)
Monsters of course are considered evil. (It's bigotry, that's what it is.)
The great and powerful worrier Beowulf and the kind hearted hobbit Frodo have many adventures. (Are they wacky? Please tell me they're wacky adventures.)
Her personality will best be described as a strong brilliant intimidating well observant women. (If you say so.)
Being king was a big honor. (I am imagining the acceptance speech.)
Marlowe was killed over attacking a quarrel. (The quarrel was just sitting there, minding its own business...)
She wasn't stuck up even though she was queen because there was a seen in which there was a puddle of water in front of her and she looked down and waited for someone to help her but then realized they were taking too long and just step over it herself. This showed she wasn't stuck up. (Really? You saw that scene and thought it showed a woman who was humble and down-to-earth?)
Marlowe finds Shakespeare at a writers block. (I love the idea of an actual block.)
Macbeth tried to get out of the situation and Lady Macbeth instantly confronted his manhood. (Rule 34.)
The queen hoping and wanting Shakespeare to forget her queenly dignity. (Ditto.)
Queen Elizabeth always dressed nicely every time she was shown. (Kind of a requirement for being Queen of England.)
Marlowe and Shakespeare worked together on a play together called the massacre of pairs. (I think it's a good name for a Quickfire Challenge on Top Chef.)
Froto is the brave hobbit who had to wear the ring. The ring symbolizes luck and good fortune. (Seriously. What the FUCK movie was this kid watching?)
Beowulf has to kill monsters specifically he fights Grendel who was in pain but Beowulf had to stop him from devoiring the people. (Is that a word? Maybe in French? I feel like that should be a word.)
Just try to imagine a more exciting story than Lord of the rings. I bet you can't. (I can't. You got me.)
The culture in Lord of the Rings seems to be barbarian. The culture in the film seems to be ancient. But at times it seems to be more prehistory. (It's rare to find such subtle and illiterate distinctions.)
And now, just in case you weren't enough in the mood to cry, here's the final salvo.
Now a days when you look at lord of the rings fearlessness isn't like the same as courage bc if you was a coward point blank you was a coward until you proved your self brave unlike having courage it gets you killed in modern life if you were that boastful and stand up of someone life how Aragon almost drown his self just to go be with Frodo to protect him.
Not knowing he had 6 more years to live Marlowe started to get involved in crime fights that lead to jail. After he had got released Marlow began to calm down until he had supper at a tavern and instantly died when he got stabbed in the eye. The defendant go away at trial for self defense what a life Marlowe had which end up horrible.
It includes real character facts humble women in play writer. Mean while in graves the power and strength of a good comedy and love. Laying down basics of a great person personality and figure to others. Giving all the world of elizabeth Theatre real interested comedies and plays. In powering strength and motivation of good team work to all play writers.
Finally to inconclusive the whole essay that Shakesepeare in love to the real life of William Shakespeare had some fictional and some notfictional relationship. But it was still good.
God, and it's not even all that long of a list this year.
But hey, after the misery of grading these things, I got one little spiteful burst of joy into my life.
Obnoxious child (Seriously, pain in my ass since mid-August) failed the third quarter. He failed the fourth quarter. Tearful mother intercedes, wishy-washy administrator intercedes, and I, gritting my teeth, allow him to re-do his research paper to pass the quarter and warn him that he must pass the final as well. (Kid's not stupid, just obnoxious. Plus he relies on his mother to get him out of every fuck-up.) Mother is effusive with thanks. Administrator appreciates my cooperation. I keep my snarls on the inside.
Kid gets caught red-handed cheating on his final exam.
Of course, now I might have to deal with the little shit in summer school, but it's SO worth it.
They shredded my curriculum. The class that was previously a full year of British Lit is now a semester of Advanced Composition and Research (oy) followed by a semester of Brit Lit. Since we still have to do a research paper second semester, that reduces the literary content of the course by about sixty percent. So I didn't do Chaucer this year, I didn't do Swift, I didn't do the Romantic Poets. Pretty much Beowulf and Macbeth and a few sonnets and that's it.
Sigh.
It's not that I don't think these kids need more work on writing and research. Of COURSE they do. It's just not what I enjoy teaching.
But hey, with all this extra class time spent on writing and research, the papers this year must have been better than past years, right?
...right?
Here goes.
Lady Macbeth started persuading Macbeth to killing King Duncan because she new Macbeth was the next runner up. (I am imagining Duncan in a sash & tiara and Macbeth standing behind wearing a plastic, congratulatory smile...)
Queen Elizabeth was very accurate to her people and they was accurate to her. (Usually I have an idea of what word they meant. Not this time.)
Marlowe kind of led he's life in a successful direction. (Depends on how you look at it, I suppose.)
A tragic hero is a character which has a fatal flow. (Is it a flow from a major artery?)
Her words and thoughts were highly acceptable. (I want to use this phrase sometime because it's so delightfully bland and vicious.)
Monsters of course are considered evil. (It's bigotry, that's what it is.)
The great and powerful worrier Beowulf and the kind hearted hobbit Frodo have many adventures. (Are they wacky? Please tell me they're wacky adventures.)
Her personality will best be described as a strong brilliant intimidating well observant women. (If you say so.)
Being king was a big honor. (I am imagining the acceptance speech.)
Marlowe was killed over attacking a quarrel. (The quarrel was just sitting there, minding its own business...)
She wasn't stuck up even though she was queen because there was a seen in which there was a puddle of water in front of her and she looked down and waited for someone to help her but then realized they were taking too long and just step over it herself. This showed she wasn't stuck up. (Really? You saw that scene and thought it showed a woman who was humble and down-to-earth?)
Marlowe finds Shakespeare at a writers block. (I love the idea of an actual block.)
Macbeth tried to get out of the situation and Lady Macbeth instantly confronted his manhood. (Rule 34.)
The queen hoping and wanting Shakespeare to forget her queenly dignity. (Ditto.)
Queen Elizabeth always dressed nicely every time she was shown. (Kind of a requirement for being Queen of England.)
Marlowe and Shakespeare worked together on a play together called the massacre of pairs. (I think it's a good name for a Quickfire Challenge on Top Chef.)
Froto is the brave hobbit who had to wear the ring. The ring symbolizes luck and good fortune. (Seriously. What the FUCK movie was this kid watching?)
Beowulf has to kill monsters specifically he fights Grendel who was in pain but Beowulf had to stop him from devoiring the people. (Is that a word? Maybe in French? I feel like that should be a word.)
Just try to imagine a more exciting story than Lord of the rings. I bet you can't. (I can't. You got me.)
The culture in Lord of the Rings seems to be barbarian. The culture in the film seems to be ancient. But at times it seems to be more prehistory. (It's rare to find such subtle and illiterate distinctions.)
And now, just in case you weren't enough in the mood to cry, here's the final salvo.
Now a days when you look at lord of the rings fearlessness isn't like the same as courage bc if you was a coward point blank you was a coward until you proved your self brave unlike having courage it gets you killed in modern life if you were that boastful and stand up of someone life how Aragon almost drown his self just to go be with Frodo to protect him.
Not knowing he had 6 more years to live Marlowe started to get involved in crime fights that lead to jail. After he had got released Marlow began to calm down until he had supper at a tavern and instantly died when he got stabbed in the eye. The defendant go away at trial for self defense what a life Marlowe had which end up horrible.
It includes real character facts humble women in play writer. Mean while in graves the power and strength of a good comedy and love. Laying down basics of a great person personality and figure to others. Giving all the world of elizabeth Theatre real interested comedies and plays. In powering strength and motivation of good team work to all play writers.
Finally to inconclusive the whole essay that Shakesepeare in love to the real life of William Shakespeare had some fictional and some notfictional relationship. But it was still good.
God, and it's not even all that long of a list this year.
But hey, after the misery of grading these things, I got one little spiteful burst of joy into my life.
Obnoxious child (Seriously, pain in my ass since mid-August) failed the third quarter. He failed the fourth quarter. Tearful mother intercedes, wishy-washy administrator intercedes, and I, gritting my teeth, allow him to re-do his research paper to pass the quarter and warn him that he must pass the final as well. (Kid's not stupid, just obnoxious. Plus he relies on his mother to get him out of every fuck-up.) Mother is effusive with thanks. Administrator appreciates my cooperation. I keep my snarls on the inside.
Kid gets caught red-handed cheating on his final exam.
Of course, now I might have to deal with the little shit in summer school, but it's SO worth it.