Oct 24, 2011 20:44
I woke up with a ridiculously bad case of the Monday's this morning. It was right about when my alarm started ringing that I had decided today wouldn't be a good one. I was wrong though today actually had no bad parts to it. So, it turns out I am just a cranky bitch instead. I know school plays a large part in my oscillating moods lately. Its just literally draining me from all ends. Funny thing is this isn't my worst semester when it comes to course loads I have been through worse. The politics are getting me down. The playing nice, cultivating a distinct indifferent look and trying to act as if if I don't hear the conversations happening less than a foot away from my ears; they are all exhausting me. While whining to a friend about the drama of it all I realized today I am over the egos. I fought for so long trying to prove myself as someone who belonged there and who didn't fit into the stereotype that I could not bother to see other people's insecurities. Even if they are not going to play nice and act pompous I do not have to play into it. Biting my tongue doesn't come naturally for me but I can if it means everything will mellow out. Because let's face it a minute of my opinion being heard is not a fair trade for the upcoming year being full of all fuss. A high opinion of myself from these people is not whats needed to pass my classes I just need to get along and refuse to let the cliques conquer my academic experience.
Now that I have lamented over these non life threatening issues I have to admit this morning's Monday's could have something to do with the possibility I am coming down with something. My throat has the telltale swollen painful precursors to being sick. Of course, I skipped enough classes last week in lieu of laziness so right now I don't need an actual reason not to attend.