All This Time.

[augustand_after]

There's not much of a point when I've been elaborating on this feeling much lately. Because honestly even as I type these words my fingers tremble a little. Isn't there some type of writers curse or something? Or some rule in an ancient book somewhere foreboding the minute you express exactly how lucky and happy you are the relationship falls apart? Maybe I am just making the superstition up. Actually, I know I must be in order to rationalize my irrational fear in which I'll wake up one day and it will have been a dream. Plus, our stuff the little things which make up us is so invidually us its impossible to explain. Its near and dear and so private. Explaining a look, a slight of hand or the hours of pillow talk is inconceivable. Even if I tried you wouldn't get it. You'd call the jokes stupid or the way we talk to each other impersonal. Cause we're weird, we are serious only to each other and in the small hours of the night we're scared. We are the most accurate versions of ourselves together. We're each other's biggest supporter and the first to point out our inherent flaws. I am silly, scary and incredibly at peace in his presence. To sum it up even more would be to cut it short. I mean I am aware I don't know much. I have failed in life and love in a lot of ways. I learned lessons the hard and wrong ways. I have broken hearts and in return had mine broken several times too. I jumped far too quickly in and out of relationships. I've had half of the public comment on my propensity to mess up. But even with all these mistakes looming in my near recent past I know in this moment, however short it might be I am happy. And really in the world we live in isn't that all you can ask for these days?

Lately I have had fed a huge obsession with quotes to make up for my lack of words and right now the simplest of ones explains the simple sentiment I have.

“After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.”
Mr Big