Self Improvement.
I hate working out.
But today makes the second time week I have dragged my lazy self up to the gym. Its an amazing feat really. All because I want so badly to get back to the skinny version of my former self. School and stress from my personal life in the past year has made me put on the pounds. Meaning I have to take any measure to reverse all the damage. Not that I'm just referring to the physical portions of my life.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't realize a new reality about this life. Without all the psychological torture to deal with daily there's much more free time for my thoughts. Tons of moments where I catch myself driving around town and surprised by the memory each corner evokes. Small landmarks, simple stores sometimes remind me of a time or day when I was thinking this would all blow over and we'd be together forever. You don't have to tell me how stupid that sounds because I'm fully aware. Its embarrassing how naive I was and how I envisioned a life that didn't exist. I am getting so much better though. Healing and recuperating from the inside out mostly all of it is dead in the past. I'm doing my best to make sure my previous mistakes don't repeat themselves. A process which unfortunately involves a whole lot more self reflection and thought than I'd like. I promise not to tell myself how abnormal it is to keep on concentrating on those mistakes because its the only way to prevent them from happening again. Did I mention this recovering and self realization process sucks? Oh, because it really does.
But today makes the second time week I have dragged my lazy self up to the gym. Its an amazing feat really. All because I want so badly to get back to the skinny version of my former self. School and stress from my personal life in the past year has made me put on the pounds. Meaning I have to take any measure to reverse all the damage. Not that I'm just referring to the physical portions of my life.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't realize a new reality about this life. Without all the psychological torture to deal with daily there's much more free time for my thoughts. Tons of moments where I catch myself driving around town and surprised by the memory each corner evokes. Small landmarks, simple stores sometimes remind me of a time or day when I was thinking this would all blow over and we'd be together forever. You don't have to tell me how stupid that sounds because I'm fully aware. Its embarrassing how naive I was and how I envisioned a life that didn't exist. I am getting so much better though. Healing and recuperating from the inside out mostly all of it is dead in the past. I'm doing my best to make sure my previous mistakes don't repeat themselves. A process which unfortunately involves a whole lot more self reflection and thought than I'd like. I promise not to tell myself how abnormal it is to keep on concentrating on those mistakes because its the only way to prevent them from happening again. Did I mention this recovering and self realization process sucks? Oh, because it really does.