Hard Week
I wonder if Ernie would be better off without me. In the past twenty four... no, not even... twelve hours, I've had doubt cast on my goodness as a boyfriend twice. I mean really, I am a fairly poor choice. I've got baggage, I'm a jealous git and communication of emotions, wants, needs, problems... ha! When blast-ended skrewts win a beauty prize will I be brilliant at that.
Ernie came to me sort of a wreck last night. I saw his parents go into the Infirmary on my way out the door but I didn't think much of it until Ernie knocked me up a bit later. He was in a rage, pretty much. Hates his Da, apparently they had a right nasty row about what Ernie's done. Apparently his Da called him a traitor and whatnot... which is sodding nonsense of course. It all started when he was dating Megan, I reckon...
Anyhow, now his Da wants him to be the perfect Pureblood son. Ernie's not told his parents about he and I yet and I can't blame him. What a right wonder day that'll be. Mum... Dad... here's the bloke that regularly breeds me. Surprise!
Shyte... I can see myself becoming a major liability to Ernie. I feel awful for him, he doesn't deserve any of this. He did right by his family and was... well... flipping glorious on the battlefield. But I can see this rift so easily growing between him and his parents- and by parents I assume mostly his Da. Am I going to become part of that rift if we keep this up? Am I just being selfish because I want him this badly?
Well... I wish I could just explain to Mr. Macmillan just how good Ernie is, but I've the feeling that it might fall on deaf ears. Still, I think I'm going to. I kind of weaseled out of Ernie where he works... I plan to pop by and have a friendly word with him. Maybe if it comes from one of Ernie's mates...
Of course all this leads to my own being an arse. I told Ernie finally this morning that I wasn't staying. I hate this place... all my mates, well most of them, they're home or elsewhere. They're all coming back though. But I just don't want to be here again. My Mum and Da are furious at my decision. I feel like such a coward and quitter... but I feel like I can do better things than repeat a year of schooling that I've already learned. I'm not a remedial student for cry sake.
Well... I could tell he took it hard and in typical way for him, he subverted his feelings behind that mask of his. Maybe thats what ate me up the most. I don't know how to fix this without going back to Hogwarts for another year. If it wasn't for Ernie I wouldn't even be considering this... but the offer I've been made is just so good. How can i pass it up?
Maybe I should have been a Slytherin after all. I'm potentially sacrificing something great, and knowledge, for what? Position? God it sounds even worse when I put it into that context. I'm no ruddy better than Theodore Nott.
I tried to tell Ernie that I'd do almost anything to make him feel better, but I think he was at as much of a loss as I was. I want to be with him, termination isn't being tabled here. Or maybe it is and I'm just completely stupid.
Alright I've made a choice... if Ernie honestly feels that we can't make this work with me gone, then I'll stay. But he'd be smarter to let a git like me go. He deserves better, someone that won't be a detriment to his family life.
Ernie came to me sort of a wreck last night. I saw his parents go into the Infirmary on my way out the door but I didn't think much of it until Ernie knocked me up a bit later. He was in a rage, pretty much. Hates his Da, apparently they had a right nasty row about what Ernie's done. Apparently his Da called him a traitor and whatnot... which is sodding nonsense of course. It all started when he was dating Megan, I reckon...
Anyhow, now his Da wants him to be the perfect Pureblood son. Ernie's not told his parents about he and I yet and I can't blame him. What a right wonder day that'll be. Mum... Dad... here's the bloke that regularly breeds me. Surprise!
Shyte... I can see myself becoming a major liability to Ernie. I feel awful for him, he doesn't deserve any of this. He did right by his family and was... well... flipping glorious on the battlefield. But I can see this rift so easily growing between him and his parents- and by parents I assume mostly his Da. Am I going to become part of that rift if we keep this up? Am I just being selfish because I want him this badly?
Well... I wish I could just explain to Mr. Macmillan just how good Ernie is, but I've the feeling that it might fall on deaf ears. Still, I think I'm going to. I kind of weaseled out of Ernie where he works... I plan to pop by and have a friendly word with him. Maybe if it comes from one of Ernie's mates...
Of course all this leads to my own being an arse. I told Ernie finally this morning that I wasn't staying. I hate this place... all my mates, well most of them, they're home or elsewhere. They're all coming back though. But I just don't want to be here again. My Mum and Da are furious at my decision. I feel like such a coward and quitter... but I feel like I can do better things than repeat a year of schooling that I've already learned. I'm not a remedial student for cry sake.
Well... I could tell he took it hard and in typical way for him, he subverted his feelings behind that mask of his. Maybe thats what ate me up the most. I don't know how to fix this without going back to Hogwarts for another year. If it wasn't for Ernie I wouldn't even be considering this... but the offer I've been made is just so good. How can i pass it up?
Maybe I should have been a Slytherin after all. I'm potentially sacrificing something great, and knowledge, for what? Position? God it sounds even worse when I put it into that context. I'm no ruddy better than Theodore Nott.
I tried to tell Ernie that I'd do almost anything to make him feel better, but I think he was at as much of a loss as I was. I want to be with him, termination isn't being tabled here. Or maybe it is and I'm just completely stupid.
Alright I've made a choice... if Ernie honestly feels that we can't make this work with me gone, then I'll stay. But he'd be smarter to let a git like me go. He deserves better, someone that won't be a detriment to his family life.