a comedy of errors
So it's the day before graduation and I actually have stuff I need to do, but I need to write down the events of last night while they're still fresh in my mind (well, as fresh as they're going to be). I actually turned to Adam (elementary band director Adam, not roommate Adam) several times and said, "That's it, I'm writing a book." I should write a book. Anyway, moving right along...
I played with Hall Pass one last time last night and, as always, it was awesome. Because it is graduation, my parents, grandfather, and godmother were there and they had a great time. My mother took some pictures, I shall post somewhere at a later date. They got to meet Rick and Adam and see the rest of the band, plus a few students who showed up to either watch or play in a song or two. After we finished playing, they left, and we started cleaning everything up (and drinking more, because that's what we do). I very politely asked guilt-tripped the students into helping us out, so it didn't take long at all. The students made fun of us for being drunk. I told them I was not drunk (I was on either my second or third beer at this point), but as soon as I said that, I had to be extra careful not to slur or trip over my words. I told Pete that they were making fun of us and he said, "Fuck them all!" I agreed, and we toasted this with another beer. Most of the band didn't stick around too long, so after I said my goodbyes to Rick, it was just me, Adam, Pete, and Bob. And some young-ish elementary school teacher named Heather. Who was getting kinda drunk. Adam and I didn't really know her, so Pete filled us in and told her that yes, even though she and Bob were kinda flirting a bit, she was engaged to some guy in Ohio. We laughed at Bob setting himself up for failure again.
Some mild chaos ensued as Pete, Bob, and Heather got separated and were trying to find each other and Adam and I were sitting at the bar, trying to direct them to each other. Eventually, Pete came over to us and said, "Hey, we're going back to Bob's," and Adam and I figured we might as well join them. We grabbed the rest of Bob's crap (music, stands, etc.) and went outside. After we all finally met up in the same place behind the bar, we left, with Adam and me leading the way because no one else was moving. Adam went to our parked cars, stopped, and said, "Was that fence and garden always here? I don't remember walking through it the last time we went to Bob's." (for those of you in the know, yes, he is referring to that night) I said, "I don't know, maybe we took the sidewalk?" He said, "I thought that we definitely walked behind the buildings." After some further discussion, we both realized that while we definitely remember going to Bob's in December, we were way too drunk to realize how we got there. Oh well, we rejoined the others and went on the sidewalk.
So the five of us are heading to Bob's, Heather's being reeeeally flirty and giggly with him, Pete is acting like a drunken idiot (as is par for the course since he cannot hold his fucking liquor), and Adam and I are just following along, carrying the stands and shit. We get to Bob's car, which is apparently where he keeps the stands and music and everything, and we start loading it up as Heather makes some noises about wanting to go home (earlier, Bob had assured her that he would get her home safely). The car's loaded, Heather can't make up her mind as to whether or not she wants to sit in the car or stand outside of it, Pete and Bob decide that this is the perfect opportunity to hold a staring contest, and Adam and I debate whether we should stay and watch them stare or go back to the bar. "I'll give you a dollar if you run between them right now," I said to him. "I won't do it for a dollar," he answered. "I'll give you two dollars if you run between them right now," I offered. We got up to five dollars before they broke down laughing and ended the contest. At this point, we realized that Heather had vanished. She was gone. Vanished into thin air. Adam and I noticed this first, and then Pete caught on, and finally Bob realized she was missing. Pete went out into the street to look for her...no luck. They're a tiny bit worried, but figure there's nothing that can be done. Adam, Pete, and I engage in a debate about how drunk she really was and if she was drunk enough to cheat on her fiance with Bob (I am vaguely familiar with situations like that ;) ) as Bob tries to call her and track her down. Still no luck.
So we're all standing in the little parking lot behind Bob's as Pete and Bob try to decide what they want to do next and Adam and I are discussing the stairs leading to Bob's apartment. I said, "I thought there were more stairs than that, I remember more stairs." He reminded me that there were more stairs leading up once we got inside. Oops. Eventually, I turn to Adam and say, "I hope we either go inside soon or go back to the bar, because I really have to go to the bathroom." Just as I say this, Pete starts urinating underneath Bob's back porch. "I'm jealous," I said. "Yeah, guys are lucky like that," Adam told me. I looked at him and said, "I am not peeing on Bob's house." Bob and Pete continue the debate of what to do and Adam yells, "She has to go to the bathroom!" I thank him for loudly announcing this to the world.
We went upstairs ("I remember these stairs now!" I said to Adam) and Bob said, "It's my house, I'm using the bathroom first." Fair enough. Pete sits down at the keyboard and starts messing around while Adam wanders around the apartment ("I remember the kitchen! This is where we played!"...I didn't tell him how well I remembered the couch). "Do you actually play the piano or are you just fucking around?" I asked Pete. He replied that he was just fucking around. I complain about having to go to the bathroom again and then we realize that Adam is gone. Vanished into thin air. Disappeared. "What the fuck?" we thought out loud. Bob finally comes out of the bathroom and I use it and then come out again and we ponder the whereabouts of Adam (and Heather, though to a lesser extent). Seriously, it was like there was some vortex or black hole near Bob's apartment, they just vanished. We go back downstairs and outside to look around, but no luck. Bob takes this opportunity to ask me about jobs and interviews and stuff and we actually have a really normal and coherent conversation while our friends are quite possibly travelling through space to an alternate dimension. After this, Pete asks again what they're going to do now, and they decide to go to Heather's. Since I didn't know her, I thought it would be a little rude to show up with them. I said my goodbyes (especially to Pete, once we realized that we may never see each other again) and went back to the bar to look for Adam.
Still no sign of Adam in the bar. I sigh, think, "Oh well," and walk back out to my car. I get in, start it up, and when I turned on my lights, I saw a figure traipsing through the garden next door. Sure enough, it was Adam. I turn the car off, get out, and was all, "Where the fuck were you?" He hops over the fence and said, "I looked out the window and saw Heather walking, so I went to walk her home and make sure she got there safely." So much for my vortex theory. He asked where Bob and Pete were and I told him that they went to Heather's. "They're not getting in, she's really drunk and she just needs to sleep it off," he said. I told him that they were still going over there. He called Bob (or maybe it was the other way around, I really don't remember) and asked where they were. After an incredibly confusing conversation, we finally remembered: there were TWO Heathers. Instead of cute elementary school teacher Heather, they went over to butch special ed teacher Heather's. Bob told Adam that she had kicked them out, so they were headed back to his apartment.
In a few minutes, we see them pull into Bob's parking lot and turn around and Adam decides that he's going to move his car over to Bob's. We get in his car and drive around to Bob's, where he had left his car in the driveway, so we couldn't pull too far in. "Go get them and see what's going on, they're on the porch," Adam instructed. I got out, looked around...no Bob and Pete. "They're not there," I told Adam. He got out of the car, also looked around, and agreed with my findings. I start to reconsider the vortex theory. We hear something behind us, turn around, and Pete comes flying around the corner of the house next door, screaming maniacally. We laugh. "Did you guys see the bar fight?!?!" he asks. "There was a bar fight?" we say. "There might be, it looks like one could be starting! Let's go!"
(to be continued, as my parents will be here shortly. I'll finish up later today or tomorrow)
I played with Hall Pass one last time last night and, as always, it was awesome. Because it is graduation, my parents, grandfather, and godmother were there and they had a great time. My mother took some pictures, I shall post somewhere at a later date. They got to meet Rick and Adam and see the rest of the band, plus a few students who showed up to either watch or play in a song or two. After we finished playing, they left, and we started cleaning everything up (and drinking more, because that's what we do). I very politely asked guilt-tripped the students into helping us out, so it didn't take long at all. The students made fun of us for being drunk. I told them I was not drunk (I was on either my second or third beer at this point), but as soon as I said that, I had to be extra careful not to slur or trip over my words. I told Pete that they were making fun of us and he said, "Fuck them all!" I agreed, and we toasted this with another beer. Most of the band didn't stick around too long, so after I said my goodbyes to Rick, it was just me, Adam, Pete, and Bob. And some young-ish elementary school teacher named Heather. Who was getting kinda drunk. Adam and I didn't really know her, so Pete filled us in and told her that yes, even though she and Bob were kinda flirting a bit, she was engaged to some guy in Ohio. We laughed at Bob setting himself up for failure again.
Some mild chaos ensued as Pete, Bob, and Heather got separated and were trying to find each other and Adam and I were sitting at the bar, trying to direct them to each other. Eventually, Pete came over to us and said, "Hey, we're going back to Bob's," and Adam and I figured we might as well join them. We grabbed the rest of Bob's crap (music, stands, etc.) and went outside. After we all finally met up in the same place behind the bar, we left, with Adam and me leading the way because no one else was moving. Adam went to our parked cars, stopped, and said, "Was that fence and garden always here? I don't remember walking through it the last time we went to Bob's." (for those of you in the know, yes, he is referring to that night) I said, "I don't know, maybe we took the sidewalk?" He said, "I thought that we definitely walked behind the buildings." After some further discussion, we both realized that while we definitely remember going to Bob's in December, we were way too drunk to realize how we got there. Oh well, we rejoined the others and went on the sidewalk.
So the five of us are heading to Bob's, Heather's being reeeeally flirty and giggly with him, Pete is acting like a drunken idiot (as is par for the course since he cannot hold his fucking liquor), and Adam and I are just following along, carrying the stands and shit. We get to Bob's car, which is apparently where he keeps the stands and music and everything, and we start loading it up as Heather makes some noises about wanting to go home (earlier, Bob had assured her that he would get her home safely). The car's loaded, Heather can't make up her mind as to whether or not she wants to sit in the car or stand outside of it, Pete and Bob decide that this is the perfect opportunity to hold a staring contest, and Adam and I debate whether we should stay and watch them stare or go back to the bar. "I'll give you a dollar if you run between them right now," I said to him. "I won't do it for a dollar," he answered. "I'll give you two dollars if you run between them right now," I offered. We got up to five dollars before they broke down laughing and ended the contest. At this point, we realized that Heather had vanished. She was gone. Vanished into thin air. Adam and I noticed this first, and then Pete caught on, and finally Bob realized she was missing. Pete went out into the street to look for her...no luck. They're a tiny bit worried, but figure there's nothing that can be done. Adam, Pete, and I engage in a debate about how drunk she really was and if she was drunk enough to cheat on her fiance with Bob (I am vaguely familiar with situations like that ;) ) as Bob tries to call her and track her down. Still no luck.
So we're all standing in the little parking lot behind Bob's as Pete and Bob try to decide what they want to do next and Adam and I are discussing the stairs leading to Bob's apartment. I said, "I thought there were more stairs than that, I remember more stairs." He reminded me that there were more stairs leading up once we got inside. Oops. Eventually, I turn to Adam and say, "I hope we either go inside soon or go back to the bar, because I really have to go to the bathroom." Just as I say this, Pete starts urinating underneath Bob's back porch. "I'm jealous," I said. "Yeah, guys are lucky like that," Adam told me. I looked at him and said, "I am not peeing on Bob's house." Bob and Pete continue the debate of what to do and Adam yells, "She has to go to the bathroom!" I thank him for loudly announcing this to the world.
We went upstairs ("I remember these stairs now!" I said to Adam) and Bob said, "It's my house, I'm using the bathroom first." Fair enough. Pete sits down at the keyboard and starts messing around while Adam wanders around the apartment ("I remember the kitchen! This is where we played!"...I didn't tell him how well I remembered the couch). "Do you actually play the piano or are you just fucking around?" I asked Pete. He replied that he was just fucking around. I complain about having to go to the bathroom again and then we realize that Adam is gone. Vanished into thin air. Disappeared. "What the fuck?" we thought out loud. Bob finally comes out of the bathroom and I use it and then come out again and we ponder the whereabouts of Adam (and Heather, though to a lesser extent). Seriously, it was like there was some vortex or black hole near Bob's apartment, they just vanished. We go back downstairs and outside to look around, but no luck. Bob takes this opportunity to ask me about jobs and interviews and stuff and we actually have a really normal and coherent conversation while our friends are quite possibly travelling through space to an alternate dimension. After this, Pete asks again what they're going to do now, and they decide to go to Heather's. Since I didn't know her, I thought it would be a little rude to show up with them. I said my goodbyes (especially to Pete, once we realized that we may never see each other again) and went back to the bar to look for Adam.
Still no sign of Adam in the bar. I sigh, think, "Oh well," and walk back out to my car. I get in, start it up, and when I turned on my lights, I saw a figure traipsing through the garden next door. Sure enough, it was Adam. I turn the car off, get out, and was all, "Where the fuck were you?" He hops over the fence and said, "I looked out the window and saw Heather walking, so I went to walk her home and make sure she got there safely." So much for my vortex theory. He asked where Bob and Pete were and I told him that they went to Heather's. "They're not getting in, she's really drunk and she just needs to sleep it off," he said. I told him that they were still going over there. He called Bob (or maybe it was the other way around, I really don't remember) and asked where they were. After an incredibly confusing conversation, we finally remembered: there were TWO Heathers. Instead of cute elementary school teacher Heather, they went over to butch special ed teacher Heather's. Bob told Adam that she had kicked them out, so they were headed back to his apartment.
In a few minutes, we see them pull into Bob's parking lot and turn around and Adam decides that he's going to move his car over to Bob's. We get in his car and drive around to Bob's, where he had left his car in the driveway, so we couldn't pull too far in. "Go get them and see what's going on, they're on the porch," Adam instructed. I got out, looked around...no Bob and Pete. "They're not there," I told Adam. He got out of the car, also looked around, and agreed with my findings. I start to reconsider the vortex theory. We hear something behind us, turn around, and Pete comes flying around the corner of the house next door, screaming maniacally. We laugh. "Did you guys see the bar fight?!?!" he asks. "There was a bar fight?" we say. "There might be, it looks like one could be starting! Let's go!"
(to be continued, as my parents will be here shortly. I'll finish up later today or tomorrow)