(no subject)
It's been a hard year,
but I'm climbing out of the rubble
these lessons are hard
healing changes are subtle,
But every day it's
less like tearing, more like building,
less like captive, more like willing,
less like breakdown, more like surrender,
less like haunting, more like remember.
And I feel you here
and you're picking up the pieces,
forever faithful.
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
but you are able
and in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars and more like
character.
Less like a prison, more like my room,
it's less like a casket, more like a womb,
less like dying, more like transcending,
less like fear, less like an ending.
And I feel you here
and you're picking up the pieces,
forever faithful.
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation,
but you are able
and in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars.
This is my story. Those words are even ore true for me now as I'm able to look back over these past couple of years and finally start to see some of the fruit. It's so much easier to say that now with a clearer perspective. When I heard this song about six months ago, I wanted to cry because it sounded so beautiful, but I wasn't there yet. Many of my wounds were still bleeding - I didn't even have scars yet. And by no means are all of those issues dealt with completely now, but I'm definitely seeing the benefits of being where I am, right now.
If things had gone my way, I definitely would not be here. I wouldn't be at OU or Uturn or have the job that I have now. I'd probably be at Grand Valley or who knows where else. I wouldn't have so many of the amazing people who are in my life now. =] I'm not saying that would have been a bad thing - I'm sure God would have done something amazing with any other circumstances. But that's not the point. I don't have to worry about what would have been. Because God wants me here, now. Is that not the coolest thing?! I get to enjoy everything here for at least another schoolyear (hopefully not any longer than that...), and then see what happens.