(no subject)
To My Two Dearest Friends Who Dont Like Me Anymore,
THIS IS SO FUCKED UP! i dont even no whats going on. how the hell is this gonna get better. i thought i was trying very hard to make it better and i thought it was better for a while but fuck no! i understand that your mad at me and if i was in your place i would be mad at me too. i would have punched me in the face. but honestly what the fuck do you want me to do! i feel like you want me to stop hanging out with them so i can spend all my time with you. but im pretty sure that is not fair...i remeber you telling me one time " i like to have a lot of firends!" so why cant i have a lot of firends. I AM NOT GOING TO CHOOSE! that would be retarded. i hate being in this situation. i know that this situation is all my fault but i cant go back now. so tell me what is it that i can do to make it better! cause i sure as hell dont know! i feel like you dont want to hang out with me and i know your talking abouit me behind my back. but i dont even care. im used to friends talking about me behind my back! what will make you feel better. do you want me to sit down and you can just tell me everythign that is bugging you. cause i know that your mad...so dont fucking pretend your not! if your mad at me fucking scream at me! dont do this whole im so happy for you bullshit! be honest! i know that you think i havent been honest with you but i have! so be honest with me! i truly do not know what you want from me. im stuck inbetween these two sets of friends now. im hearing shit from both sides and i dont know what to do. its like the group that was once one is now two and im stuck in the middle. the worst part is that i feel that this is all happening just like it did before. i dont want to turn into her! i dont want to abandoned you for a guy. im not her i will never do that. i know you dont belive me and you prolly think everyhtign im saying is crap but that is honestly what im thinking. we need to have a serious talk. i dont care what you say to me. just get it out. dont hide all this bullshit anymore!
this is all bullshit,
mallory
THIS IS SO FUCKED UP! i dont even no whats going on. how the hell is this gonna get better. i thought i was trying very hard to make it better and i thought it was better for a while but fuck no! i understand that your mad at me and if i was in your place i would be mad at me too. i would have punched me in the face. but honestly what the fuck do you want me to do! i feel like you want me to stop hanging out with them so i can spend all my time with you. but im pretty sure that is not fair...i remeber you telling me one time " i like to have a lot of firends!" so why cant i have a lot of firends. I AM NOT GOING TO CHOOSE! that would be retarded. i hate being in this situation. i know that this situation is all my fault but i cant go back now. so tell me what is it that i can do to make it better! cause i sure as hell dont know! i feel like you dont want to hang out with me and i know your talking abouit me behind my back. but i dont even care. im used to friends talking about me behind my back! what will make you feel better. do you want me to sit down and you can just tell me everythign that is bugging you. cause i know that your mad...so dont fucking pretend your not! if your mad at me fucking scream at me! dont do this whole im so happy for you bullshit! be honest! i know that you think i havent been honest with you but i have! so be honest with me! i truly do not know what you want from me. im stuck inbetween these two sets of friends now. im hearing shit from both sides and i dont know what to do. its like the group that was once one is now two and im stuck in the middle. the worst part is that i feel that this is all happening just like it did before. i dont want to turn into her! i dont want to abandoned you for a guy. im not her i will never do that. i know you dont belive me and you prolly think everyhtign im saying is crap but that is honestly what im thinking. we need to have a serious talk. i dont care what you say to me. just get it out. dont hide all this bullshit anymore!
this is all bullshit,
mallory