All theLeaves are Brown
well as soon as break is about to end.. it finally gets interesting...
but that's supposed to happen...
I got to work two weeks at good ol wendys... which was horrible the first week, working with a manager that is hypocritical and rips people apart for little things that are ridiculous... So I was not happy to be back...But I noticed I got another raise... Money is a hard thing to judge by... you don't want to be greedy... and you want to be able to pay the bills and live comfortably.. the question is.. is it worth it?
so Im still pondering the question and trying to figure out how this summer will be working for me....
but I really don't want to think about that now...
I've gone through so many thought processes this break... Some I will never understand.. and some I qill just choose to not understand....
But I feel like the conclusion is what I want... its like everything I had was already there... it just needed to be polished up a bit... I can't necessarily say I feel stupid... i didn't do anything..... its just the thought I suppose...
But it feels good to know...
I have changed a lot....
my first email account... has over 700 unread messages... granted most of it is spam... and it has accumulated to the extreme because of my neglect to delete things..I just have this feeling to delete it... cut out a fragment of an old self that doesn't exist anymore...but I have messages in there since the beginning... I have saved emails of conversations with friends... emails with a friend that made a small impact in my life who i never speak to anymore...emails from my father that I could just never get around to deleting...
so who knows if I will ever get rid of it... I just have this hard time with getting rid of things like that...
I rarely read the old messages... but there has been a few times.. when falling back on them has helped me grow...
haha plus Im waiting for an email from myself that comes at 2050? I think... a time capsule sort of thing.. I should have made a copy for myself.. so i could read it now.. But i guess there's no fun in that when i keep reminding myself about myself from a couple years back... (annoying repetition)
AHHH I just feel completely different now....
good... bad? WHo knows... its just one of those things that you can't help but notice...
I sometimes feel that maybe my friends don't like the different me... maybe they don't notice...
I feel it... and sometimes Im not sure if I like it...
just this break ive grown up.. and moved on from things that were weighing me down... it feels good.. but I still find the future scary... maybe scarier than before...
but that could be because its one day closer...
but that's supposed to happen...
I got to work two weeks at good ol wendys... which was horrible the first week, working with a manager that is hypocritical and rips people apart for little things that are ridiculous... So I was not happy to be back...But I noticed I got another raise... Money is a hard thing to judge by... you don't want to be greedy... and you want to be able to pay the bills and live comfortably.. the question is.. is it worth it?
so Im still pondering the question and trying to figure out how this summer will be working for me....
but I really don't want to think about that now...
I've gone through so many thought processes this break... Some I will never understand.. and some I qill just choose to not understand....
But I feel like the conclusion is what I want... its like everything I had was already there... it just needed to be polished up a bit... I can't necessarily say I feel stupid... i didn't do anything..... its just the thought I suppose...
But it feels good to know...
I have changed a lot....
my first email account... has over 700 unread messages... granted most of it is spam... and it has accumulated to the extreme because of my neglect to delete things..I just have this feeling to delete it... cut out a fragment of an old self that doesn't exist anymore...but I have messages in there since the beginning... I have saved emails of conversations with friends... emails with a friend that made a small impact in my life who i never speak to anymore...emails from my father that I could just never get around to deleting...
so who knows if I will ever get rid of it... I just have this hard time with getting rid of things like that...
I rarely read the old messages... but there has been a few times.. when falling back on them has helped me grow...
haha plus Im waiting for an email from myself that comes at 2050? I think... a time capsule sort of thing.. I should have made a copy for myself.. so i could read it now.. But i guess there's no fun in that when i keep reminding myself about myself from a couple years back... (annoying repetition)
AHHH I just feel completely different now....
good... bad? WHo knows... its just one of those things that you can't help but notice...
I sometimes feel that maybe my friends don't like the different me... maybe they don't notice...
I feel it... and sometimes Im not sure if I like it...
just this break ive grown up.. and moved on from things that were weighing me down... it feels good.. but I still find the future scary... maybe scarier than before...
but that could be because its one day closer...