Ava!

[audrik]

Audrik stared down at the tumbler that sit on the desk before him. There was a small amount of scotch left in the bottom of the glass as he traced his finger across the rim. It seemed as though everyone at Painswick had begun feeling the warmth and happiness that Christmas time brings. This, however, was the time of year that Audrik dreaded. Each

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[avaroux]

It had been a rather late night for Ava. She always made the mistake of assigning far too many essays toward the end of the semester. Students always complained but they only had to write one. She had to read over hundreds. Bloody stupid idea, it was.

She was always contemplating a new approach to the coursework. Perhaps maybe a semester with no homework at all.

As she headed out, she passed by Audrik's office door. Thinking she hadn't talked to her friend in a while she decided to stop and say hello.

"Hello Audrik," she greeted, after coming inside and shutting the door behind her. She spotted the tumbler full of scotch and raised an eyebrow. "Bad day?"

[audrik]

Audrik seemingly fell back into his chair with a sigh. The glass slammed down against his desk as he held his head in shame

"I hate the holidays," he told her, grasping for the bottle without looking, only having missed once. His gaze lifted toward the bottle as he dumped another shot... or two, into his glass.

He stared at it.

[avaroux]

"It seems you do," she said briskly.

She crossed over to his desk, her hand sliding around the glass. She couldn't know if that was his second or his third or his fourth - but it looked like he had enough. She picked up the glass before looking back down to Audrik.

"Let's talk, yeah?" she asked, perching herself against his desk. She brought the glass to her lips before taking a small sip.

[audrik]

"What about?" he asked, feigning nonchalance as he eyed her drinking.

His body tingled as he tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair. For a moment he brought up his guard completely before realizing she probably didn't know much legilimency, if any, and didn't have to worry about anyone else seeing his emotions, which at the moment were going haywire.

[avaroux]

She pushed herself up on the desk, the scotch swishing around in the tumbler. Thankfully, none spilled. She took another sip, hoping she could finish it before Audrik reached for it. The way he looked - it would just be a bad thing.

She peered down at him curiously.

"Audrik, you look like utter shit," she told him. "I hate to be so honest, but I know something is bothering you."

[audrik]

Audrik softened in his chair and looked down at his hands, which eventually found their way into a ball in his lap.

"I have a difficult time focusing around Christmas," he admitted, his eyes darting around the room to avoid her gaze. He had recently relived the memory of his mother's passing with Tracey, which left him feeling even more vulnerable than usual.

"I don't really know what to say," he added, looking up at his glass, wondering when the next chance was that he could use it.

[avaroux]

"I hate to break it to you-" Ava frowned before continuing, "But this time of year? This dreaded, crappy holiday season? The worst comes out during this time of year."

She wasn't trying to make him feel insignificant. She just didn't want to make him feel alone. She placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"You're certainly not alone in that sentiment," she said. "But you know, I'm here, right? My office is just around the corner, and I'm only an Apparition away."

[audrik]

Audrik did his best to hide his reaction, which inside his mind he screamed, "fuck you, you have no idea what I've seen". Luckily he had become a master of masking emotions.

"I have a particular painful memory attached to this one," he tried to further explain, placing the proper emphasis on the right words in order to hopefully instill the proper combination of confusion and terror.

[avaroux]

Confused and terorroized, Ava was not. She was more concerned. And frankly, that was weird for her. Ava generally did not care. In the slightest. Ever. For one bit.

But Audrik was different, he was her friend. One of the only ones she even cared to like while at school.

"I'm sorry," she told him, placing the tumbler back on the desk. She honestly hated the taste of Scotch. "I'm not sure what I can say to make you feel better."

[audrik]

Audrik offered her a fake smile and raised his bottle of scotch, which sloshed around, half empty.

"That's why I drink," he told her, his Russian accent peeking through more obvious that usual.

He admired the bottle for a moment before reaching for his glass, pouring another serving and raising it to her. He downed the liquid in a quick motion and set the tumbler down, making a pained expression.

[avaroux]

Her legs kicked back and forth slightly. This was becoming increasingly difficult to understand. She hated being in situations like these. She wasn't a very comforting person. She never knew the right thing to say.

"Audrik." She looked at him, seeing right past that fake smile. "There shouldn't be a reason why you drink. That's not healthy."

[audrik]

He couldn't help but feel attacked. Setting down the glass rapidly, he stared at her. His eyes struggled between pain and anger.

"I don't recall asking for your opinion," he gritted through his teeth, pouring more scotch into the glass, filling it almost half-way.

The bottle was eventually set down and he picked up the drink and raised it to his lips. The scotch burned on his tongue as he allowed a small amount to slide down his throat.

[avaroux]

She stared at him blankly. This was not the Audrik that Ava spent her time with. In fact, she couldn't recall a time she had ever seen him this way. Her brows furrowed as she slid of his desk. Her body leaned back against it, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No, you didn't," she responded slowly. She wasn't sure what she could say that would actually do anything. "But I don't really know what to say to you."

[audrik]

Audrik felt a painful longing in his chest as he looked at her. The scotch had already started taking effect on him as his mind darted from memory to memory.

First it was his mother, wrapping her arms around him from behind as he stared happily at their Christmas tree. Then it was his father laughing down at the two of them curled up on the floor in pain.

His last image was of his mother, the expression she had on her face when she died, when a young Audrik found her. She looked calm and peaceful for the first time in his life. There was always an internal struggle in his mind; was he happy that she was finally at peace? Or could he ever forgive him for abandoning the one person who loved her the most?

Audrik's eyes dropped toward the floor as he held his glass tigher in his hand. Tears stung the corners of his eyes and he blinked repeatedly to combat them from falling.

"I'm pretty fucked up, Ava," he said, recognizing the double-meaning in this case, though hoping she were intuitive enough to pick up on the right one.

[avaroux]

No shit, Ava thought.

But that was a rather insensitive thought. To be honest, Ava's heart ached for Audrik. The way he looked, the way his body seemed to be so defeated, well, it was too much for Ava to try and ignore. She moved closer to him, her hands placed on each shoulder.

"It's okay," she told him, her voice smooth, gentle. "There isn't anything wrong with that. But you'll never take control of your issues until you come face to face with them."

[audrik]

Audrik knew she was right, but the last time he tried coming face to face with his issues, he was in the hospital for over a week.

"I don't even know where he is," he said aloud, seemingly unaware of the fact that Ava had no idea who he was referring to.