The Definition of Want - Epilogue (Post B)
Title: The Definition of Want
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Edward, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst -- you know, all the good ones.
Warnings: Bad language and eventual sex.
Summary: You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all secretly wondered how that would go? Yeah. It's one of those. Set post-Eclipse. (Link to the beginning.)
banner courtesy of boredess
banner courtesy of leithalia
Epilogue Post B:
A/N: Many thanks to irises . If she hadn't posted this song for the SoB community fanmix, I would probably have never written this story.
take me out tonight / where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive
The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
The phone rang at one in the morning. Billy could sleep like the dead, but I stumbled out of bed, into the kitchen, and picked the receiver. "This had better be good," I growled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"Hello, Jacob. It's Edward."
I groaned (but managed not to slam the phone down... barely). "It's the middle of the night, douchebag. What the fuck do you want?"
"I would like you to meet me at the treaty line. Now." The voice was frigid and dangerous, and my irritation disappeared beneath a wave of understanding. I was wide awake now.
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
***
I decided to take the Rabbit, just in case I wound up breaking something. (It's easier to drive with a broken hand than it is to run with a broken paw. Just one of those things.) And I decided to stick with just a pair of cut off sweats, leaving my shirt and shoes behind. If I needed to phase without warning, I'd just as soon not wreck any more clothes than necessary. (It'd been really nice not having to go shopping for new shorts every week.)
I also left a note on the kitchen table for Billy. I was ninety percent certain that I would win this, but just in case...
By the time I got there, Cullen was waiting, standing in the road next to his Swedish piece of shit, still as a statue in the moonlight. I put the Rabbit into park and got out, a combination of dread and anticipation swirling through my body.
It was always going to happen.
The smell of leech stink pulled me up short, turning my stomach. Ugh. It had been awhile. God they were disgusting. I kept walking forward anyway, until Cullen and I faced each other a few feet apart. For a moment I was reminded ridiculously of the first time we'd done this, in a gymnasium full of streamers with a pretty girl in a leg cast standing between us. She and I had grown up a lot since then. He was the same as ever.
Cullen's face was unreadable as I pulled myself to my full height. I was seventeen now, same as him. I wondered if I was older or not. "Bella has been to see you?" he said, his perfect voice cold.
"Yes," I said.
A beat.
Two.
Then, out of nowhere, Cullen's shoulders slumped. His yellow eyes broke away from mine and he turned away, facing the forest, bringing one shaking hand to his mouth.
I stared at him for a long moment, at the one hundred and nine year old monster that smelled like rancid garbage and old lady perfume who may or may not have been younger than me, and I felt... not quite sympathy, but something.... ah. There it was. Pity. I felt pity. I pitied him. I didn't need to kill him. I couldn't hurt him any more than he was already hurting.
He loved her, like me. He'd done the best he could, like me. And he'd lost her, and now I felt sorry for him, because I knew how that felt.
Weird.
With a sigh, I turned back to the Rabbit, popped the trunk, and pulled out two cans of Miller Lite that Paul had left there after the last frisbee game. Then I walked across the treaty line, sat down on the hood of the Volvo (it creaked under my weight), and handed one of the beers to Cullen. "Here."
He hesitated, then took it. I popped my can open and took a long drink. Beer was an acquired taste, and I'd acquired it. At least I didn't have to worry about driving; it'd take three cases in an hour to give me a buzz. (We knew, because Quil had tried. That had been an expensive evening.) "I can't drink anything except blood, Jacob," Cullen said.
"I know. Fake it."
"You're underage."
"So are you."
"There's no point."
"Yes there is."
"But why?"
"Because," I said, exasperated, "that's what people do. So just pretend. Please."
Cullen stared at me for a long moment as I stubbornly took another swig and thought a lot of irritated, pissy thoughts. Finally he leaned against the side of the car, brought the beer to his lips, and pretended to drink.
After a minute I emptied the can and crushed it; Cullen poured his out on the road and did the same. Then he straightened back up and it was like the whole thing had never happened. "We'll be leaving within the week," he said, voice cool and contained as ever. "Please extend our good wishes to your Alpha. In the future we will do our best to steer clear of this area so as to not affect changes in your next generations."
"Thank you," I said automatically. Not having to worry about my great-grandchildren exploding into mountains of angsty fur would be nice.
Cullen looked at me hard for a moment, then said, "Jacob, if you ever hurt her--"
"Whether she and I hurt each other is our business from now on," I said. And I was surprised by how gently I said it.
His shoulders slumped again, and I got up off the hood (my weight had left a dent, seriously, what a piece of shit) and walked back over the treaty line. Cullen opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. Instead, he gave me a curt nod, got into the Volvo, and drove away.
I never saw Edward Cullen again.
***
It took another three weeks, but I finished, and had a gigantic pile of scrap metal and one decently functional Chevy Cavalier to show for my effort. Rachel met me in Seattle to handle all the paperwork, being as she was over eighteen and I was not and therefore couldn't really sell a car by myself. I got four thousand dollars for it. (The guy offered thirty-five hundred, but Rachel argued him up. She was a great haggler. Probably a result of kicking my ass at Monopoly so many times when we were kids.)
"You look better," Rachel remarked as she drove me home.
"Yeah," I said happily, flipping through my cash. "Money will do that."
Rachel laughed. "That's not what I mean, dork, and you know it. So what's with the change?"
"Just... feeling good, is all. This spring's been a lot better than the last spring." No sudden transformations into a giant hairy beast. No smelly bloodsuckers tramping all over the lands. No stupid, reckless decisions brought on by miserable heartache. The only downside was that there was no Bella... but she'd be home soon.
"Uh-huh," Rachel said knowingly. "You know you've got a dumbass grin all over your face, right?"
I smoothed out my expression. "Do not."
"Riiiight."
***
Rachel stayed for the weekend, but she spent a lot of it hanging out with Paul and watching stupid movies. Paul was... weirdly, weirdly content with his role as best friend, and had even been dating around a bit. The 'whatever she needs me to be' thing really did seem to work with imprinting. Thank God for that, because if Paul had wound up as my brother-in-law I'd have killed him by the second holiday gathering.
I paid Billy back the five hundred I owed him -- with interest -- and then another hundred to get the internet set up. Then I pointed out that this car-building thing was pretty lucrative, and if I just dropped out of school, I'd have lots of time to work on it.
"Uh-huh," Billy said. "You do that. And you tell me how squirrel stew works out for you."
I got Leah a mini iPod and a pack of nicotine patches for her birthday. She rolled her eyes, but the next time I saw her, the iPod was covered in a fancy protective case.
I tried to find a new bed, but I couldn't come up with anything that would fit in my room without knocking down a wall. So I'd have to figure that out later.
Then I stashed fifteen hundred dollars into a savings account and took what I had left back to the junkyard. I came home with three broken-down Toyota Corollas and thought that this might not be such a bad way to earn a living, really.
***
Emily had her baby, a little boy that everyone had to say was the most adorable creature ever to exist in the history of the universe, even though we all privately agreed that he looked like a frog. Sam was beaming constantly. I thought twenty-one was kind young to have a kid.
Sam showed me the baby's room, decorated with Finding Nemo stuff, and he was pretty annoyed when I couldn't stop snickering.
***
It was June when the day came, just like she promised.
The bonfire on the beach was fucking huge, probably the biggest I'd ever seen, thanks in no small part to Quil and Embry feeding the flames with a bunch of fireworks that rattled the ground as they exploded. (The sand beneath the wood would probably be glass by the morning, but the end of school could really inspire a person to blow things up.) I sat on a log a safe distance from the flames and watched Quil throw a hubcap to a giant pack of wolves, who scrabbled around the in the sand to grab it, rolling over into the surf, fighting to carry it to the goal line, and generally having a ridiculously good time.
Something was weird, though. I couldn't put my finger on it.
"Hey," Leah said, sitting down next to me, covered in sweat, still tugging her shirt into place. She'd scored five goals and left a lot of bite marks on a lot of different people.
"Hey," I said. I glanced to the side and noticed the nicotine patch on her arm. "How did you keep that on through phasing?"
"The fur kind of grew around it," she said, scratching at the patch absently. "I can't believe I'm even using it. I look like a moron. I'm going back to smoking tomorrow, I swear."
"Uh-huh." She'd been saying that for awhile.
"Shut up." Leah looked at the Miller Lite in my hand and rolled her eyes. "That is disgusting. I refuse to be seen with you until you stop drinking that shit."
"Uh-huh." She'd been saying that for awhile, too. "Nice job out there, by the way."
"Thanks," she said, kind of almost smiling, which was about as close as she got. "The idiots never think to jump."
"Guess not."
We watched the game for a little while longer, and the offness kept niggling at me. There was something... I narrowed my eyes. "Hey. Does Quil look different to you?"
"What do you mean?"
I frowned. "I don't know. He just seems..." I trailed off as it suddenly all clicked. The relaxed stance, the smile, the smug air of authority... "Holy shit, he got laid."
"You think?"
Wow. It really was like someone put a stamp on your forehead. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it immediately. "Huh. I wonder who it was." Who the hell who would put up with getting fucked by him only to listen to him talk about a three year old for an hour?
"I wonder," Leah said. Her voice was extremely innocent.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I turned my head and stared at her, my jaw dropping. "You have got to be kidding."
Leah shrugged nonchalantly. "Consider it my own personal little 'fuck you' to the Great Matchmaker in the Sky."
"I... but... you..." My brain shorted out as I tried to process this new information. "You hate Quil!"
"Yeah, kinda," she said. "But that doesn't seem to bother him much. And all things considered, he's not a bad lay. He's really into leather."
"Oh God I didn't need to know that." This was way the fuck too much to process. "So... you two are, what, together?"
She snorted. "Of course not. Don't be an idiot. I'm just breaking him in. And hell, maybe he'll decide that he wants a real girlfriend, instead of a toddler or a older woman who's using him for sex. Rachel figured out how to get around the imprint, why not him?" At the look on my face, she shrugged and leaned back against the log. "I'm trying to figure out this whole 'not waiting' thing. It's a process. What more do you want?"
"But..." I couldn't come up with anything to say that made the least bit of sense, so I settled for, "That is so fucked up."
"What else is new?" Leah countered. While I tried to formulate a response to that, her eyes slid past mine and up the beach. Her entire expression closed. "Speaking of fucked up..."
I looked over my shoulder.
Bella.
She was stumbling along the beach towards me, trying to keep her balance on the sand. When she saw that I'd seen her, she gave me a hesitant little wave. I waved back and tried not to grin too widely. "Leah, I've got to--"
"--go. Yeah." She glared at Bella (who flinched), then gave me a severe look as we both stood up. "Please attempt not to do something stupid, shit-for-brains. You're a real pain in the ass when you mope."
"I'll do my best," I said. "Thanks."
"Whatever." Leah threw one last evil look in Bella's direction, then stalked off towards the Pack, probably to leave a few extra bites in people as she scored more goals.
I managed to wait for Bella to get me, and I tried not to let the sudden sick panic in my stomach climb into my chest. When she was here before I'd been sure, but I'd also been sure before and I'd been wrong (the red highlights in her hair blazed in the firelight) and if I was wrong again, I wasn't sure I'd survive this time (she zipped her jacket up to her chin) no, I would, I'd survive, but I would rather not have to try, I just wanted--
Bella stood in front of me, the wind off the ocean whipping strands of her hair out of her ponytail. "Hi, Jake," she said.
"Hi, Bells."
She took my hand in hers, and the sick feeling vanished.
"Your dad said you were down here," Bella said, glancing over my shoulder. "He didn't say that everyone else was, too."
"Ah," I said. "Well, school just let out, so... yeah." I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand.
Her nose wrinkled. "Are they... playing frisbee? With a hubcap?"
"It was Quil and Embry's idea."
"Oh," she said, as though that made perfect sense. Which, well, it kind of did. She waved awkwardly to Emily and Kim, who were fussing over the baby by the fire, then said quietly to me, "I, um, was expecting you to be alone. I kind of had this whole big speech planned."
"Did you." I fought back a grin.
"Yeah," she whispered. "Maybe we can go someplace else?"
"I'd rather not wait anymore," I whispered back. "I'm done waiting."
"Oh." She bit her lip. "I'm not sure I can do it in front of all these people."
"Maybe you could just give me the short version," I suggested.
The corner of her mouth quirked. "Are you sure? I'll have to cut out a lot of the grovelling."
"That's all right. I'll just add it in my mind."
"Okay then." Bella frowned thoughtfully for a few moments, then nodded to herself and looked up at me. The firelight flickered shadows across her face. "I'm dense," she said flatly. "I have the self-awareness of plankton. But I'm here and I love you and I'm yours, if you still want me."
God.
I closed my eyes and breathed. In. Out. In. Out. The flames warmed the right side of my body and the ocean breeze cooled the left.
"Jake?"
"Just savoring the moment, Bells," I said, smiling.
"Oh." When I opened my eyes, Bella was twisting the hem of her shirt nervously. "So... um... do you? Still want me?"
I leaned down to her ear and murmured, "Didn't I say I always would?"
She turned her head and captured my lips with hers. She was so warm. It started soft, testing the waters, seeing if this still worked (it did, oh my God it did) and then she threw her arms around my neck with a whimper and I was kissing her with everything I had, lifting her against me, a little bit worried that we'd fall into the bonfire and not sure I'd notice if we did. The feeling of her body pressed to mine only lasted for a few irritatingly short seconds, though, before I heard someone catcalling. I broke away from Bella to turn and glare at Quil, who gave me a huge, cheeky thumbs up. "Nice one!" he yelled.
"Go put on some leather!" I hollered back. Quil very satisfactorily shut his mouth.
Bella was blushing bright pink in the firelight, but she was also smiling. "Let's go," she suggested quietly, and the tone of her voice sent electricity through my entire body. "We'll do this somewhere a little less, uh, wolf-infested."
"You read my mind, honey," I smirked. "Come on."
***
Thank God Bella had only left her truck by the side of the road, because if we'd had to travel much farther than a couple thousand feet I was going to take her against a tree and that wouldn't have been a very romantic start to things. (Though the way she was yanking at my hand, I was pretty sure that romance wasn't the first thing on her mind.)
Her hands shook when she unlocked the driver's side door, and when she got in I just followed her rather than take the extra few seconds to go around to the other side. Those were way, way too many extra seconds. This was not the time for slow. We'd go slow later.
We'd have all the time we wanted to go slow later.
At least Bella seemed to be thinking the same thing, because the second I slid into the cab and closed the door, she was in my lap, one knee on either side of my hips, forcing her fingers into my hair and devouring my mouth with hers. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had missed this. I smirked against her lips, even as I ran my hands up and down her back. She needed to be wearing less clothes. Fabric wasn't cutting it here.
"Your hair is longer," she murmured against my mouth. "I like it, but doesn't it cause problems?"
I shook my head as I pushed her away just far enough to pull down the zipper of her jacket. "I can do whatever the hell I want with my hair. I don't phase anymore."
Bella's eyebrows went up. "You don't?"
"Nope." The jacket came apart. Underneath she was only wearing a tank top, and it was easy enough to dive my hands under it, and -- ah, there she was.
"I guess we have a lot to talk about," she said, her thighs squeezing hard around my waist.
"Mm-hmm." I helped her shrug out of her jacket, then found her pulse with my tongue. Her skin was salty and I was pretty sure she'd changed soaps. "Lots to talk about. Can we talk after?"
Her laughter vibrated against my lips. "But-- don't you think we should, I don't know, say something instead of just acting like horny teenagers making out in a car?"
"Bella," I said, rolling my eyes, "we are horny teenagers making out in a car." Then, with a sigh, I pulled away and leaned back against seat, and put my hands behind my head with a great show of patience. "But, if you really want, we can stop what we're doing and have a very deep and meaningful discussion instead."
Bella sat back and stared at me for a long moment. Then she shook her head. "Nah. You're right. We'll do that after." She pulled her tank top off with one quick movement, and she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. Her skin was milky in the moonlight, not marble-white. With a groan I leaned forward and started nipping at her breasts, then groaned again when she tightened her fingers in my hair. "You're really good at that," she said breathlessly.
An alarming thought forced its way through the fog in my brain. "I... is there much to compare me to?" I tried to keep my voice light.
There was a long beat, then her ribcage moved under my hands as she exhaled. "Not really," she admitted. "I mean, there's been some... stuff... but... you're still the only one, Jake." I nodded, hoping my relief wasn't too obvious. If another man had made love to her I would have hunted him down and gutted him like a fish. (Yes, it would have been unfair, chauvinist, and not a little bit hypocritical, given my experience with Stephanie Winters. I would've done it anyway.)
"How about you?" Bella asked, carefully neutral.
I shook my head slowly, dropping soft kisses across every inch of skin I could reach. "No. There's been... stuff... but, yeah, no. Still just you."
Bella slid her hand down my chest into my lap, and gripped me hard through my shorts. She smiled devilishly when I gasped. "Good," she said. "I guess I won't have to borrow Charlie's shotgun and shoot Leah Clearwater, then."
My eyes widened in shock, even as I tried to keep focus. Her hand was moving possessively and all the blood was rapidly deserting my brain. "Leah and I... we never..." I tried to keep breathing. "What made you think that?"
"Your dad might've insinuated something," Bella said casually. "I was all ready with my big speech, but you weren't at home, and he said that he was pretty sure you were at the beach but if you weren't I should try calling Leah because she would know."
I frowned. "Are you serious?" The old man was dead.
She shrugged. "I think he only said it to needle me. I guess he thought I deserved it." Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips across my earlobe. "He's right. I did. I do. Can you forgive me?"
"I never blamed you in the first place, Bells," I said, squeezing my eyes shut. Here I go again on my o-o-own...
Her sigh was warm against my neck, and her strokes slowed. "Yeah. I know you didn't. But you should have."
Okay, no. I'd had enough angst for a lifetime. "We can figure out who's more at fault later, Bella," I said firmly. "Take off your pants."
Bella stilled, then pulled away miserably. "Jacob," she said, her voice low and sad, "do you really think it's as easy as all that?"
Oh shit. "Right now," I said, my heart sinking, "yes. I do."
There was a long moment... then Bella's face split into a huge grin. "Yeah, me too."
I groaned as she hopped off my lap and started wriggling out of her jeans. "Fuck, Bells, you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," she said, and she didn't sound sorry at all. "I spent the whole evening wondering if you and Leah have been mating like rabbits for the last year. Give me at least one moment of revenge."
"Uh-huh," I said sarcastically as I pushed my shorts away. "Do you really want to start the revenge game here, honey? I have all kinds of things to get you back for. Like an entire sandwich of cayenne pepper. I didn't taste anything for a week."
"Then you shouldn't have eaten it," Bella said, climbing back onto me, completely naked. "You should have just conceded defeat."
My hips bucked up against her soft thigh. Holy fuck she was warm, and the smell of her body was filling up the heated cab. "Bella, honey," I murmured, licking along her collarbone and stroking her back, "I never concede defeat."
She leaned into against my hands and made a noise in her throat. "I know. I like that about you." Then she moaned loudly when I slipped my fingers down between us to stroke her. She was soaking wet, and when my hips bucked again I jammed my knee into the steering wheel by accident. I was going to have to get her off first, because once I was inside her there was no way I'd be able to hold out long enough to--
--wait.
"Shit!" I swore, jerking my hands away.
Bella jumped and bumped her head on the roof of the cab. "Ow! What?"
"Fuck! Goddamn it!"
"What?" she repeated, scrambling off my legs, eyes wide. "What's wrong?"
"I don't have any condoms," I said, staring at her in horror. I had a couple hidden in my nightstand at home, because you never fucking know, but that didn't do me any good now. And I couldn't go back for them, Billy would still be awake and that would be too weird for words. "Okay," I said, reaching for my shorts. "Let me think." The only other option was the drugstore in Forks. The goddamn truck couldn't go over sixty. Obviously I was going to have to phase, just this once, because sixty miles an hour was not fucking fast enough. Fuck, I couldn't believe this. "Okay, Bells, honey, look, stay here--" I looked over at her, and she was reclined against the seat with her head resting on the passenger's side door and her face was sweaty and her knees were parted and did I mention that she was completely naked and oh my God this wasn't fair "--stay right here," I repeated desperately, "don't move an inch, just stay here like that, I swear, I promise, I'll be back before you know it--"
Bella was laughing at me. Her whole body was shaking.
I frowned. "This is not funny." I was about to risk serious physical damage by trying to sprint several miles with the worst case of blue balls in the history of the world. There was nothing funny about this.
Then Bella's arms were around my neck, pulling me down. "I'm on the pill now, Jake," she said, still giggling. "Relax."
"You're..." Oh. Oh. I exhaled shakily and covered her face in kisses. Oh thank God. "You are so smart." I was getting a little light-headed with the smell of her skin and the lack of oxygen in the cab. "You are so, so, so smart, honey."
"I'm going to remember that you said that," Bella warned me, one sweaty leg sliding over my side. I almost fell off the seat.
"You do that," I said, distracted by trying to figure out how the hell this was going to work. "Why don't we get in the flatbed? I think that'll be easier."
"Outside?" she said, skeptical. "Are you kidding? We'll get eaten alive by mosquitoes."
"I'll spend all day tomorrow rubbing calamine lotion on you," I promised. "But I'm too tall to do this in here." If I tried -- and I was seriously close to trying, consequences be damned, her fingernails were scraping along my shoulder and I was getting desperate -- there was a decent chance that I'd accidentally kick the door off the truck in the process. Stupid long legs.
"Huh." Bella looked over my shoulder, frowning thoughtfully, then nodded. "Okay. I have an idea. Sit up." Sitting up involved pulling away from her very soft, very moist, very naked body. I managed it, but just barely. "Right," she whispered. "How about this?" She maneuvered herself until she was sitting on my lap, her back against my chest, wrapped her hand around me, and very slowly slid herself down--
My head fell back and slammed into the rearview window with a crack. Bella laughed, and I felt the vibrations through her body and mine. "Don't hurt my truck, okay? I kind of like it."
"Uh-huh," I said automatically, not paying the slightest bit of attention to anything except the slick tight heat and Bella's skin. How the fuck had I gone a year without this feeling? Then she moved, putting her palms flat on my thighs and lifting herself up, then lowering herself back down, just a wet inch or two at a time, and like a drifter I was born to walk al-o-o-one... At this point I was never going to hear Whitesnake again without getting a hard on.
Bella made little gasps as she moved, and fuck I wanted them to be louder. So I put my arms around her and moved my hands to play with her breasts while I kissed lines along her back. She inhaled sharply, and the sudden tightening in her body almost did me in. Oh shit-- "Stop," I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut and hiding my face against her shoulder blade. "Stop. Don't move." And I've made up my mi-ind, I ain't wastin' no more ti-ime...
She stilled obligingly, though she made an unhappy noise in her throat. I just kept my face hidden and tried to think very unsexy eighties-music thoughts.
After a moment, I felt her pull my right hand away from her chest and steer it gently to between her thighs. My breath stopped as I felt her softness under my fingers, felt where I was entering her. Holy motherfucking shit-- "You haven't forgotten what to do, have you?" Bella whispered, leaning back against my chest and turning her face to my throat. Her lips curved into a smile against my skin.
Forgotten what to do. Hmph. I took a deep, shuddering breath, pulled on every ounce of self-control I had (and it wasn't inconsiderable, given how much effort it required to never phase) and started to move my fingers in tight little circles over the spot that made her shudder. "No," I said into her ear, "I'm pretty sure I remember how this goes." My left hand tweaked her nipple firmly. "Here, I'll show you." And I started to rock my hips under hers, sliding in and out with wet little noises, running my fingers over every nerve ending I could find, listening to the different sounds she made.
It was when I stopped circling and started rubbing hard that the sounds came together to form my name. "Jacob--"
Fuck. The hand at her breast moved to grab her shoulder, my arm crossing her body like a seat belt, and I slammed her down onto me forcefully. Her breath flew out in a gasp. And then I was thrusting as hard and fast as I could, and I sure as hell hoped I'd made my point about remembering what I was doing because all my finesse was gone now, but Bella kept moaning my name and her fingernails dug into my thighs and it was so much it was all so much and waves of dizziness washed over me as I came, holding her tight against me and keeping as deep inside as I could, her body sliding messily against mine until the movements slowed, everything wet.
"I love you," Bella said softly, her chest moving as she fought for breath.
I swallowed.
She pushed her hair over one shoulder as she turned to grin at me. "And you're--" The smile fell from her face abruptly, and then she was twisted around in my arms and pulling me closer. "Jake," she whispered, pressing kisses over my cheeks, my nose, my eyes. "Oh, Jake..."
"Why did you go?" I heard someone ask.
Cool fingers threading through my hair. "Because I needed to figure it all out, and you couldn't do it for me."
"I wanted to."
"I know you did." Fingernails scraping lightly against my scalp, over and over and over.
"Bella..."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner that I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I'm sorry I hurt you so much by not knowing."
I shook my head.
"And," she added, "I'm sorry about the cayenne."
Sudden, snorting laughter came out of my throat. "Well," I said, and for some reason my voice was ragged, "you should be sorry about that one."
"If it makes you feel any better, my tongue hurt too."
"Oh, poor tongue," I said sympathetically, leaning in for a nice, soothing, open-mouthed kiss. "It doesn't make me feel better, though. You only got second-hand burns."
"I suppose that's true," Bella sighed. "I'll come up with something less transmittable next time."
I smiled, starting to feel better. The post-orgasmic high was kicking in and making me feel all fuzzy. "So, don't get me wrong, this was great, but it's really cramped in here." I kicked my knee against the steering wheel to make the point. "How about I install a cover on your flatbed and put in an air mattress? There'll be lots more room that way, and no bugs."
Bella gave me a horrified look. "You want to turn my truck into a party van?"
"It's that or having sex at your Dad's," I countered. "The bed at my house is even smaller than this."
"I'll think about it." She burrowed into my neck and sighed. Her cheek was sticky against my shoulder. "How long do we have until this isn't felony rape?"
June to January-- "About seven months."
She hummed thoughtfully, her ribs vibrating under my hands. "Okay. As a birthday present I'll take you to the courthouse and make an honest man out of you."
I raised an eyebrow. "I think still being in school might make that a little weird, Bells."
"I suppose so, yeah," she said with a shrug. "Graduation present, then? Think of how happy our dads will be that they won't have to wear tuxes."
"Mm-hmm," I said. "Very happy. And just how will we live?"
"We'll move into your garage," she said very seriously. "I'll put up curtains."
"It'll be hard to cook."
"I'll get a cast iron pan and heat it on the Rabbit's engine."
"You'll get cold in the winter."
"I have a space heater now."
"There's not room for kids," I pointed out tentatively, curious about how she'd react. Three. Definitely three.
She made a contented noise as she snuggled in closer. "You'll have to make hammocks for them to sleep in."
"I can probably handle that." I hid a smile in her hair. "Has anyone ever told you that you're extremely silly after you've had sex?"
"Nope," she said. "Just you."
"Well, you are. I think it breaks your brain." I held her tighter. "It's a good look for you, though. So I think we should make love, like, every six hours or so. You know, forever."
"That sounds good."
"All right then. Let's just focus on that for now and worry about hammocks later, okay?"
"Mmm..."
I glanced down at Bella's face and sighed. "Sex also makes you sleepy," I complained.
"Does not."
"Does so. I'm going to start carrying around chocolate-covered coffee beans for afterward."
"Mmkay."
I waited for the too-good-to-be-true feeling to slam into me and make me hurt, but it didn't happen. Maybe it was that the truck was so humid, or that my back itched where I was sticking sweatily to the seat, or that Bella was starting to drool on my neck. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you," I whispered to her. "I hope that's okay."
"Sure," she murmured. "That's fine."
I listened to her heart beating until we both fell asleep.
The end.
***
A/N: Thank you again. You folks have made my summer.
Edited 7/23/10 to fix a line.
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Edward, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst -- you know, all the good ones.
Warnings: Bad language and eventual sex.
Summary: You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all secretly wondered how that would go? Yeah. It's one of those. Set post-Eclipse. (Link to the beginning.)
banner courtesy of boredess
banner courtesy of leithalia
Epilogue Post B:
A/N: Many thanks to irises . If she hadn't posted this song for the SoB community fanmix, I would probably have never written this story.
take me out tonight / where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive
The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
The phone rang at one in the morning. Billy could sleep like the dead, but I stumbled out of bed, into the kitchen, and picked the receiver. "This had better be good," I growled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"Hello, Jacob. It's Edward."
I groaned (but managed not to slam the phone down... barely). "It's the middle of the night, douchebag. What the fuck do you want?"
"I would like you to meet me at the treaty line. Now." The voice was frigid and dangerous, and my irritation disappeared beneath a wave of understanding. I was wide awake now.
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
***
I decided to take the Rabbit, just in case I wound up breaking something. (It's easier to drive with a broken hand than it is to run with a broken paw. Just one of those things.) And I decided to stick with just a pair of cut off sweats, leaving my shirt and shoes behind. If I needed to phase without warning, I'd just as soon not wreck any more clothes than necessary. (It'd been really nice not having to go shopping for new shorts every week.)
I also left a note on the kitchen table for Billy. I was ninety percent certain that I would win this, but just in case...
By the time I got there, Cullen was waiting, standing in the road next to his Swedish piece of shit, still as a statue in the moonlight. I put the Rabbit into park and got out, a combination of dread and anticipation swirling through my body.
It was always going to happen.
The smell of leech stink pulled me up short, turning my stomach. Ugh. It had been awhile. God they were disgusting. I kept walking forward anyway, until Cullen and I faced each other a few feet apart. For a moment I was reminded ridiculously of the first time we'd done this, in a gymnasium full of streamers with a pretty girl in a leg cast standing between us. She and I had grown up a lot since then. He was the same as ever.
Cullen's face was unreadable as I pulled myself to my full height. I was seventeen now, same as him. I wondered if I was older or not. "Bella has been to see you?" he said, his perfect voice cold.
"Yes," I said.
A beat.
Two.
Then, out of nowhere, Cullen's shoulders slumped. His yellow eyes broke away from mine and he turned away, facing the forest, bringing one shaking hand to his mouth.
I stared at him for a long moment, at the one hundred and nine year old monster that smelled like rancid garbage and old lady perfume who may or may not have been younger than me, and I felt... not quite sympathy, but something.... ah. There it was. Pity. I felt pity. I pitied him. I didn't need to kill him. I couldn't hurt him any more than he was already hurting.
He loved her, like me. He'd done the best he could, like me. And he'd lost her, and now I felt sorry for him, because I knew how that felt.
Weird.
With a sigh, I turned back to the Rabbit, popped the trunk, and pulled out two cans of Miller Lite that Paul had left there after the last frisbee game. Then I walked across the treaty line, sat down on the hood of the Volvo (it creaked under my weight), and handed one of the beers to Cullen. "Here."
He hesitated, then took it. I popped my can open and took a long drink. Beer was an acquired taste, and I'd acquired it. At least I didn't have to worry about driving; it'd take three cases in an hour to give me a buzz. (We knew, because Quil had tried. That had been an expensive evening.) "I can't drink anything except blood, Jacob," Cullen said.
"I know. Fake it."
"You're underage."
"So are you."
"There's no point."
"Yes there is."
"But why?"
"Because," I said, exasperated, "that's what people do. So just pretend. Please."
Cullen stared at me for a long moment as I stubbornly took another swig and thought a lot of irritated, pissy thoughts. Finally he leaned against the side of the car, brought the beer to his lips, and pretended to drink.
After a minute I emptied the can and crushed it; Cullen poured his out on the road and did the same. Then he straightened back up and it was like the whole thing had never happened. "We'll be leaving within the week," he said, voice cool and contained as ever. "Please extend our good wishes to your Alpha. In the future we will do our best to steer clear of this area so as to not affect changes in your next generations."
"Thank you," I said automatically. Not having to worry about my great-grandchildren exploding into mountains of angsty fur would be nice.
Cullen looked at me hard for a moment, then said, "Jacob, if you ever hurt her--"
"Whether she and I hurt each other is our business from now on," I said. And I was surprised by how gently I said it.
His shoulders slumped again, and I got up off the hood (my weight had left a dent, seriously, what a piece of shit) and walked back over the treaty line. Cullen opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. Instead, he gave me a curt nod, got into the Volvo, and drove away.
I never saw Edward Cullen again.
***
It took another three weeks, but I finished, and had a gigantic pile of scrap metal and one decently functional Chevy Cavalier to show for my effort. Rachel met me in Seattle to handle all the paperwork, being as she was over eighteen and I was not and therefore couldn't really sell a car by myself. I got four thousand dollars for it. (The guy offered thirty-five hundred, but Rachel argued him up. She was a great haggler. Probably a result of kicking my ass at Monopoly so many times when we were kids.)
"You look better," Rachel remarked as she drove me home.
"Yeah," I said happily, flipping through my cash. "Money will do that."
Rachel laughed. "That's not what I mean, dork, and you know it. So what's with the change?"
"Just... feeling good, is all. This spring's been a lot better than the last spring." No sudden transformations into a giant hairy beast. No smelly bloodsuckers tramping all over the lands. No stupid, reckless decisions brought on by miserable heartache. The only downside was that there was no Bella... but she'd be home soon.
"Uh-huh," Rachel said knowingly. "You know you've got a dumbass grin all over your face, right?"
I smoothed out my expression. "Do not."
"Riiiight."
***
Rachel stayed for the weekend, but she spent a lot of it hanging out with Paul and watching stupid movies. Paul was... weirdly, weirdly content with his role as best friend, and had even been dating around a bit. The 'whatever she needs me to be' thing really did seem to work with imprinting. Thank God for that, because if Paul had wound up as my brother-in-law I'd have killed him by the second holiday gathering.
I paid Billy back the five hundred I owed him -- with interest -- and then another hundred to get the internet set up. Then I pointed out that this car-building thing was pretty lucrative, and if I just dropped out of school, I'd have lots of time to work on it.
"Uh-huh," Billy said. "You do that. And you tell me how squirrel stew works out for you."
I got Leah a mini iPod and a pack of nicotine patches for her birthday. She rolled her eyes, but the next time I saw her, the iPod was covered in a fancy protective case.
I tried to find a new bed, but I couldn't come up with anything that would fit in my room without knocking down a wall. So I'd have to figure that out later.
Then I stashed fifteen hundred dollars into a savings account and took what I had left back to the junkyard. I came home with three broken-down Toyota Corollas and thought that this might not be such a bad way to earn a living, really.
***
Emily had her baby, a little boy that everyone had to say was the most adorable creature ever to exist in the history of the universe, even though we all privately agreed that he looked like a frog. Sam was beaming constantly. I thought twenty-one was kind young to have a kid.
Sam showed me the baby's room, decorated with Finding Nemo stuff, and he was pretty annoyed when I couldn't stop snickering.
***
It was June when the day came, just like she promised.
The bonfire on the beach was fucking huge, probably the biggest I'd ever seen, thanks in no small part to Quil and Embry feeding the flames with a bunch of fireworks that rattled the ground as they exploded. (The sand beneath the wood would probably be glass by the morning, but the end of school could really inspire a person to blow things up.) I sat on a log a safe distance from the flames and watched Quil throw a hubcap to a giant pack of wolves, who scrabbled around the in the sand to grab it, rolling over into the surf, fighting to carry it to the goal line, and generally having a ridiculously good time.
Something was weird, though. I couldn't put my finger on it.
"Hey," Leah said, sitting down next to me, covered in sweat, still tugging her shirt into place. She'd scored five goals and left a lot of bite marks on a lot of different people.
"Hey," I said. I glanced to the side and noticed the nicotine patch on her arm. "How did you keep that on through phasing?"
"The fur kind of grew around it," she said, scratching at the patch absently. "I can't believe I'm even using it. I look like a moron. I'm going back to smoking tomorrow, I swear."
"Uh-huh." She'd been saying that for awhile.
"Shut up." Leah looked at the Miller Lite in my hand and rolled her eyes. "That is disgusting. I refuse to be seen with you until you stop drinking that shit."
"Uh-huh." She'd been saying that for awhile, too. "Nice job out there, by the way."
"Thanks," she said, kind of almost smiling, which was about as close as she got. "The idiots never think to jump."
"Guess not."
We watched the game for a little while longer, and the offness kept niggling at me. There was something... I narrowed my eyes. "Hey. Does Quil look different to you?"
"What do you mean?"
I frowned. "I don't know. He just seems..." I trailed off as it suddenly all clicked. The relaxed stance, the smile, the smug air of authority... "Holy shit, he got laid."
"You think?"
Wow. It really was like someone put a stamp on your forehead. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it immediately. "Huh. I wonder who it was." Who the hell who would put up with getting fucked by him only to listen to him talk about a three year old for an hour?
"I wonder," Leah said. Her voice was extremely innocent.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I turned my head and stared at her, my jaw dropping. "You have got to be kidding."
Leah shrugged nonchalantly. "Consider it my own personal little 'fuck you' to the Great Matchmaker in the Sky."
"I... but... you..." My brain shorted out as I tried to process this new information. "You hate Quil!"
"Yeah, kinda," she said. "But that doesn't seem to bother him much. And all things considered, he's not a bad lay. He's really into leather."
"Oh God I didn't need to know that." This was way the fuck too much to process. "So... you two are, what, together?"
She snorted. "Of course not. Don't be an idiot. I'm just breaking him in. And hell, maybe he'll decide that he wants a real girlfriend, instead of a toddler or a older woman who's using him for sex. Rachel figured out how to get around the imprint, why not him?" At the look on my face, she shrugged and leaned back against the log. "I'm trying to figure out this whole 'not waiting' thing. It's a process. What more do you want?"
"But..." I couldn't come up with anything to say that made the least bit of sense, so I settled for, "That is so fucked up."
"What else is new?" Leah countered. While I tried to formulate a response to that, her eyes slid past mine and up the beach. Her entire expression closed. "Speaking of fucked up..."
I looked over my shoulder.
Bella.
She was stumbling along the beach towards me, trying to keep her balance on the sand. When she saw that I'd seen her, she gave me a hesitant little wave. I waved back and tried not to grin too widely. "Leah, I've got to--"
"--go. Yeah." She glared at Bella (who flinched), then gave me a severe look as we both stood up. "Please attempt not to do something stupid, shit-for-brains. You're a real pain in the ass when you mope."
"I'll do my best," I said. "Thanks."
"Whatever." Leah threw one last evil look in Bella's direction, then stalked off towards the Pack, probably to leave a few extra bites in people as she scored more goals.
I managed to wait for Bella to get me, and I tried not to let the sudden sick panic in my stomach climb into my chest. When she was here before I'd been sure, but I'd also been sure before and I'd been wrong (the red highlights in her hair blazed in the firelight) and if I was wrong again, I wasn't sure I'd survive this time (she zipped her jacket up to her chin) no, I would, I'd survive, but I would rather not have to try, I just wanted--
Bella stood in front of me, the wind off the ocean whipping strands of her hair out of her ponytail. "Hi, Jake," she said.
"Hi, Bells."
She took my hand in hers, and the sick feeling vanished.
"Your dad said you were down here," Bella said, glancing over my shoulder. "He didn't say that everyone else was, too."
"Ah," I said. "Well, school just let out, so... yeah." I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand.
Her nose wrinkled. "Are they... playing frisbee? With a hubcap?"
"It was Quil and Embry's idea."
"Oh," she said, as though that made perfect sense. Which, well, it kind of did. She waved awkwardly to Emily and Kim, who were fussing over the baby by the fire, then said quietly to me, "I, um, was expecting you to be alone. I kind of had this whole big speech planned."
"Did you." I fought back a grin.
"Yeah," she whispered. "Maybe we can go someplace else?"
"I'd rather not wait anymore," I whispered back. "I'm done waiting."
"Oh." She bit her lip. "I'm not sure I can do it in front of all these people."
"Maybe you could just give me the short version," I suggested.
The corner of her mouth quirked. "Are you sure? I'll have to cut out a lot of the grovelling."
"That's all right. I'll just add it in my mind."
"Okay then." Bella frowned thoughtfully for a few moments, then nodded to herself and looked up at me. The firelight flickered shadows across her face. "I'm dense," she said flatly. "I have the self-awareness of plankton. But I'm here and I love you and I'm yours, if you still want me."
God.
I closed my eyes and breathed. In. Out. In. Out. The flames warmed the right side of my body and the ocean breeze cooled the left.
"Jake?"
"Just savoring the moment, Bells," I said, smiling.
"Oh." When I opened my eyes, Bella was twisting the hem of her shirt nervously. "So... um... do you? Still want me?"
I leaned down to her ear and murmured, "Didn't I say I always would?"
She turned her head and captured my lips with hers. She was so warm. It started soft, testing the waters, seeing if this still worked (it did, oh my God it did) and then she threw her arms around my neck with a whimper and I was kissing her with everything I had, lifting her against me, a little bit worried that we'd fall into the bonfire and not sure I'd notice if we did. The feeling of her body pressed to mine only lasted for a few irritatingly short seconds, though, before I heard someone catcalling. I broke away from Bella to turn and glare at Quil, who gave me a huge, cheeky thumbs up. "Nice one!" he yelled.
"Go put on some leather!" I hollered back. Quil very satisfactorily shut his mouth.
Bella was blushing bright pink in the firelight, but she was also smiling. "Let's go," she suggested quietly, and the tone of her voice sent electricity through my entire body. "We'll do this somewhere a little less, uh, wolf-infested."
"You read my mind, honey," I smirked. "Come on."
***
Thank God Bella had only left her truck by the side of the road, because if we'd had to travel much farther than a couple thousand feet I was going to take her against a tree and that wouldn't have been a very romantic start to things. (Though the way she was yanking at my hand, I was pretty sure that romance wasn't the first thing on her mind.)
Her hands shook when she unlocked the driver's side door, and when she got in I just followed her rather than take the extra few seconds to go around to the other side. Those were way, way too many extra seconds. This was not the time for slow. We'd go slow later.
We'd have all the time we wanted to go slow later.
At least Bella seemed to be thinking the same thing, because the second I slid into the cab and closed the door, she was in my lap, one knee on either side of my hips, forcing her fingers into my hair and devouring my mouth with hers. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had missed this. I smirked against her lips, even as I ran my hands up and down her back. She needed to be wearing less clothes. Fabric wasn't cutting it here.
"Your hair is longer," she murmured against my mouth. "I like it, but doesn't it cause problems?"
I shook my head as I pushed her away just far enough to pull down the zipper of her jacket. "I can do whatever the hell I want with my hair. I don't phase anymore."
Bella's eyebrows went up. "You don't?"
"Nope." The jacket came apart. Underneath she was only wearing a tank top, and it was easy enough to dive my hands under it, and -- ah, there she was.
"I guess we have a lot to talk about," she said, her thighs squeezing hard around my waist.
"Mm-hmm." I helped her shrug out of her jacket, then found her pulse with my tongue. Her skin was salty and I was pretty sure she'd changed soaps. "Lots to talk about. Can we talk after?"
Her laughter vibrated against my lips. "But-- don't you think we should, I don't know, say something instead of just acting like horny teenagers making out in a car?"
"Bella," I said, rolling my eyes, "we are horny teenagers making out in a car." Then, with a sigh, I pulled away and leaned back against seat, and put my hands behind my head with a great show of patience. "But, if you really want, we can stop what we're doing and have a very deep and meaningful discussion instead."
Bella sat back and stared at me for a long moment. Then she shook her head. "Nah. You're right. We'll do that after." She pulled her tank top off with one quick movement, and she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. Her skin was milky in the moonlight, not marble-white. With a groan I leaned forward and started nipping at her breasts, then groaned again when she tightened her fingers in my hair. "You're really good at that," she said breathlessly.
An alarming thought forced its way through the fog in my brain. "I... is there much to compare me to?" I tried to keep my voice light.
There was a long beat, then her ribcage moved under my hands as she exhaled. "Not really," she admitted. "I mean, there's been some... stuff... but... you're still the only one, Jake." I nodded, hoping my relief wasn't too obvious. If another man had made love to her I would have hunted him down and gutted him like a fish. (Yes, it would have been unfair, chauvinist, and not a little bit hypocritical, given my experience with Stephanie Winters. I would've done it anyway.)
"How about you?" Bella asked, carefully neutral.
I shook my head slowly, dropping soft kisses across every inch of skin I could reach. "No. There's been... stuff... but, yeah, no. Still just you."
Bella slid her hand down my chest into my lap, and gripped me hard through my shorts. She smiled devilishly when I gasped. "Good," she said. "I guess I won't have to borrow Charlie's shotgun and shoot Leah Clearwater, then."
My eyes widened in shock, even as I tried to keep focus. Her hand was moving possessively and all the blood was rapidly deserting my brain. "Leah and I... we never..." I tried to keep breathing. "What made you think that?"
"Your dad might've insinuated something," Bella said casually. "I was all ready with my big speech, but you weren't at home, and he said that he was pretty sure you were at the beach but if you weren't I should try calling Leah because she would know."
I frowned. "Are you serious?" The old man was dead.
She shrugged. "I think he only said it to needle me. I guess he thought I deserved it." Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips across my earlobe. "He's right. I did. I do. Can you forgive me?"
"I never blamed you in the first place, Bells," I said, squeezing my eyes shut. Here I go again on my o-o-own...
Her sigh was warm against my neck, and her strokes slowed. "Yeah. I know you didn't. But you should have."
Okay, no. I'd had enough angst for a lifetime. "We can figure out who's more at fault later, Bella," I said firmly. "Take off your pants."
Bella stilled, then pulled away miserably. "Jacob," she said, her voice low and sad, "do you really think it's as easy as all that?"
Oh shit. "Right now," I said, my heart sinking, "yes. I do."
There was a long moment... then Bella's face split into a huge grin. "Yeah, me too."
I groaned as she hopped off my lap and started wriggling out of her jeans. "Fuck, Bells, you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," she said, and she didn't sound sorry at all. "I spent the whole evening wondering if you and Leah have been mating like rabbits for the last year. Give me at least one moment of revenge."
"Uh-huh," I said sarcastically as I pushed my shorts away. "Do you really want to start the revenge game here, honey? I have all kinds of things to get you back for. Like an entire sandwich of cayenne pepper. I didn't taste anything for a week."
"Then you shouldn't have eaten it," Bella said, climbing back onto me, completely naked. "You should have just conceded defeat."
My hips bucked up against her soft thigh. Holy fuck she was warm, and the smell of her body was filling up the heated cab. "Bella, honey," I murmured, licking along her collarbone and stroking her back, "I never concede defeat."
She leaned into against my hands and made a noise in her throat. "I know. I like that about you." Then she moaned loudly when I slipped my fingers down between us to stroke her. She was soaking wet, and when my hips bucked again I jammed my knee into the steering wheel by accident. I was going to have to get her off first, because once I was inside her there was no way I'd be able to hold out long enough to--
--wait.
"Shit!" I swore, jerking my hands away.
Bella jumped and bumped her head on the roof of the cab. "Ow! What?"
"Fuck! Goddamn it!"
"What?" she repeated, scrambling off my legs, eyes wide. "What's wrong?"
"I don't have any condoms," I said, staring at her in horror. I had a couple hidden in my nightstand at home, because you never fucking know, but that didn't do me any good now. And I couldn't go back for them, Billy would still be awake and that would be too weird for words. "Okay," I said, reaching for my shorts. "Let me think." The only other option was the drugstore in Forks. The goddamn truck couldn't go over sixty. Obviously I was going to have to phase, just this once, because sixty miles an hour was not fucking fast enough. Fuck, I couldn't believe this. "Okay, Bells, honey, look, stay here--" I looked over at her, and she was reclined against the seat with her head resting on the passenger's side door and her face was sweaty and her knees were parted and did I mention that she was completely naked and oh my God this wasn't fair "--stay right here," I repeated desperately, "don't move an inch, just stay here like that, I swear, I promise, I'll be back before you know it--"
Bella was laughing at me. Her whole body was shaking.
I frowned. "This is not funny." I was about to risk serious physical damage by trying to sprint several miles with the worst case of blue balls in the history of the world. There was nothing funny about this.
Then Bella's arms were around my neck, pulling me down. "I'm on the pill now, Jake," she said, still giggling. "Relax."
"You're..." Oh. Oh. I exhaled shakily and covered her face in kisses. Oh thank God. "You are so smart." I was getting a little light-headed with the smell of her skin and the lack of oxygen in the cab. "You are so, so, so smart, honey."
"I'm going to remember that you said that," Bella warned me, one sweaty leg sliding over my side. I almost fell off the seat.
"You do that," I said, distracted by trying to figure out how the hell this was going to work. "Why don't we get in the flatbed? I think that'll be easier."
"Outside?" she said, skeptical. "Are you kidding? We'll get eaten alive by mosquitoes."
"I'll spend all day tomorrow rubbing calamine lotion on you," I promised. "But I'm too tall to do this in here." If I tried -- and I was seriously close to trying, consequences be damned, her fingernails were scraping along my shoulder and I was getting desperate -- there was a decent chance that I'd accidentally kick the door off the truck in the process. Stupid long legs.
"Huh." Bella looked over my shoulder, frowning thoughtfully, then nodded. "Okay. I have an idea. Sit up." Sitting up involved pulling away from her very soft, very moist, very naked body. I managed it, but just barely. "Right," she whispered. "How about this?" She maneuvered herself until she was sitting on my lap, her back against my chest, wrapped her hand around me, and very slowly slid herself down--
My head fell back and slammed into the rearview window with a crack. Bella laughed, and I felt the vibrations through her body and mine. "Don't hurt my truck, okay? I kind of like it."
"Uh-huh," I said automatically, not paying the slightest bit of attention to anything except the slick tight heat and Bella's skin. How the fuck had I gone a year without this feeling? Then she moved, putting her palms flat on my thighs and lifting herself up, then lowering herself back down, just a wet inch or two at a time, and like a drifter I was born to walk al-o-o-one... At this point I was never going to hear Whitesnake again without getting a hard on.
Bella made little gasps as she moved, and fuck I wanted them to be louder. So I put my arms around her and moved my hands to play with her breasts while I kissed lines along her back. She inhaled sharply, and the sudden tightening in her body almost did me in. Oh shit-- "Stop," I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut and hiding my face against her shoulder blade. "Stop. Don't move." And I've made up my mi-ind, I ain't wastin' no more ti-ime...
She stilled obligingly, though she made an unhappy noise in her throat. I just kept my face hidden and tried to think very unsexy eighties-music thoughts.
After a moment, I felt her pull my right hand away from her chest and steer it gently to between her thighs. My breath stopped as I felt her softness under my fingers, felt where I was entering her. Holy motherfucking shit-- "You haven't forgotten what to do, have you?" Bella whispered, leaning back against my chest and turning her face to my throat. Her lips curved into a smile against my skin.
Forgotten what to do. Hmph. I took a deep, shuddering breath, pulled on every ounce of self-control I had (and it wasn't inconsiderable, given how much effort it required to never phase) and started to move my fingers in tight little circles over the spot that made her shudder. "No," I said into her ear, "I'm pretty sure I remember how this goes." My left hand tweaked her nipple firmly. "Here, I'll show you." And I started to rock my hips under hers, sliding in and out with wet little noises, running my fingers over every nerve ending I could find, listening to the different sounds she made.
It was when I stopped circling and started rubbing hard that the sounds came together to form my name. "Jacob--"
Fuck. The hand at her breast moved to grab her shoulder, my arm crossing her body like a seat belt, and I slammed her down onto me forcefully. Her breath flew out in a gasp. And then I was thrusting as hard and fast as I could, and I sure as hell hoped I'd made my point about remembering what I was doing because all my finesse was gone now, but Bella kept moaning my name and her fingernails dug into my thighs and it was so much it was all so much and waves of dizziness washed over me as I came, holding her tight against me and keeping as deep inside as I could, her body sliding messily against mine until the movements slowed, everything wet.
"I love you," Bella said softly, her chest moving as she fought for breath.
I swallowed.
She pushed her hair over one shoulder as she turned to grin at me. "And you're--" The smile fell from her face abruptly, and then she was twisted around in my arms and pulling me closer. "Jake," she whispered, pressing kisses over my cheeks, my nose, my eyes. "Oh, Jake..."
"Why did you go?" I heard someone ask.
Cool fingers threading through my hair. "Because I needed to figure it all out, and you couldn't do it for me."
"I wanted to."
"I know you did." Fingernails scraping lightly against my scalp, over and over and over.
"Bella..."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner that I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I'm sorry I hurt you so much by not knowing."
I shook my head.
"And," she added, "I'm sorry about the cayenne."
Sudden, snorting laughter came out of my throat. "Well," I said, and for some reason my voice was ragged, "you should be sorry about that one."
"If it makes you feel any better, my tongue hurt too."
"Oh, poor tongue," I said sympathetically, leaning in for a nice, soothing, open-mouthed kiss. "It doesn't make me feel better, though. You only got second-hand burns."
"I suppose that's true," Bella sighed. "I'll come up with something less transmittable next time."
I smiled, starting to feel better. The post-orgasmic high was kicking in and making me feel all fuzzy. "So, don't get me wrong, this was great, but it's really cramped in here." I kicked my knee against the steering wheel to make the point. "How about I install a cover on your flatbed and put in an air mattress? There'll be lots more room that way, and no bugs."
Bella gave me a horrified look. "You want to turn my truck into a party van?"
"It's that or having sex at your Dad's," I countered. "The bed at my house is even smaller than this."
"I'll think about it." She burrowed into my neck and sighed. Her cheek was sticky against my shoulder. "How long do we have until this isn't felony rape?"
June to January-- "About seven months."
She hummed thoughtfully, her ribs vibrating under my hands. "Okay. As a birthday present I'll take you to the courthouse and make an honest man out of you."
I raised an eyebrow. "I think still being in school might make that a little weird, Bells."
"I suppose so, yeah," she said with a shrug. "Graduation present, then? Think of how happy our dads will be that they won't have to wear tuxes."
"Mm-hmm," I said. "Very happy. And just how will we live?"
"We'll move into your garage," she said very seriously. "I'll put up curtains."
"It'll be hard to cook."
"I'll get a cast iron pan and heat it on the Rabbit's engine."
"You'll get cold in the winter."
"I have a space heater now."
"There's not room for kids," I pointed out tentatively, curious about how she'd react. Three. Definitely three.
She made a contented noise as she snuggled in closer. "You'll have to make hammocks for them to sleep in."
"I can probably handle that." I hid a smile in her hair. "Has anyone ever told you that you're extremely silly after you've had sex?"
"Nope," she said. "Just you."
"Well, you are. I think it breaks your brain." I held her tighter. "It's a good look for you, though. So I think we should make love, like, every six hours or so. You know, forever."
"That sounds good."
"All right then. Let's just focus on that for now and worry about hammocks later, okay?"
"Mmm..."
I glanced down at Bella's face and sighed. "Sex also makes you sleepy," I complained.
"Does not."
"Does so. I'm going to start carrying around chocolate-covered coffee beans for afterward."
"Mmkay."
I waited for the too-good-to-be-true feeling to slam into me and make me hurt, but it didn't happen. Maybe it was that the truck was so humid, or that my back itched where I was sticking sweatily to the seat, or that Bella was starting to drool on my neck. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you," I whispered to her. "I hope that's okay."
"Sure," she murmured. "That's fine."
I listened to her heart beating until we both fell asleep.
The end.
***
A/N: Thank you again. You folks have made my summer.
Edited 7/23/10 to fix a line.