The Definition of Want - Chapter 8
Title: The Definition of Want
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Edward, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst -- you know, all the good ones.
Warnings: Bad language and eventual sex.
Summary: You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all ( Read more... )
I don't know how you do it. You somehow make me feel Jacob's pain and Bella's pain through Jacob. Obviously something that canon always failed at. I've probably felt Bella's pain maybe once or twice in the book and somehow, I understand why she went back to Edward. Why she left Jacob there. Why she left the engagement ring there. Why she NEVER bothered to think about getting it. Jacob doesn't have to mention that nor do we have to absolutely for a fact read it but we can feel it. If that makes sense.
Above that however, you seem to put everyone in a chapter (when it calls for it) without even losing the core of the story. Secondary characters, IMO, can sometimes make or break a story and in DOW, they seriously make it richer. Not better because the plot with just the trio is good enough but the additions of Leah, Billy, Charlie, other pack members flow with the plot somehow. I don't know how to describe it exactly.
The plot. Honestly, I didn't know how I felt about it when I started reading it. I mean, I always thought about how it work out if Jacob/Bella/Edward DID agree to a deal with her having Jacob's baby but her 'staying' with Edward throughout it all. This is a unique take on it. When I read your story, I feel like I know where the overall goal is going BUT it beats my expectations by miles and takes it in a place that I don't know how to describe. It's fun to watch. You do suspense good. Or maybe I'm just a crazy JB shipper who loves good plots when it comes to them. *whispers* I think it's a little bit of both.
Gem. Leah. I don't like canon Leah whatsoever. I know that I should feel her pain and should feel bad for her but I don't. Sam, Emily and imprinting fucked her over, sure. But the best and absolutely best way to move on is to survive bigger and better than you were before and show them that you weren't broken. I never felt that Leah made that transition, IMO. BD made her tolerable, especially with Jacob and their dynamic. Here, she's the best character next to Jacob. Maybe even my favorite. She's a no holds barred type of chick and you feel it. It's not told to us through bitterness and bitchiness like SM does.
*Sighs* I feel like I am babbling to a writing genius when I should just shut up and enjoy the damn story. But I had to get out how I felt about it so far.
Reply
Thank you for that :) It's really... um... well, I'll be honest, I've worked my ass off at that part, and it's only succeeding about half the time, so I'm glad it's working for you :)
And I'm really happy you stuck with this, in spite of not knowing how you felt about it. I know it's a squidgy concept. (In retrospect, I really should have slapped some kind of "No! It's not what you think!" warning label on the summary.) But it just... I don't know. I wanted to fuck around with it, you know? And somehow, it seems to be more or less coming together (aside from the inevitable parts where I glare viciously at an instance where I've used the same adverb in two consecutive paragraphs and hate everything everywhere). So... yeah. Anyway, yay, and thanks :)
I feel like I am babbling to a writing genius when I should just shut up and enjoy the damn story.
A) I like babbling, it makes me happy, and B) *snort*. Honey, Nabakov is a genius. I'm a chick with a laptop who drinks too much Diet Coke.
Reply
You're welcome. One can tell and feel the hard work, IMO. I can tell that in some cases, it was like "why does he need to convey her pain when he is in pain himself?" yet I'm like "I know Jacob is hurting but Bella's pain pops up as well". So it's nice to see that unfold intentionally and unintentionally.
Glad to know I could make you happy. I feel like I should be happy with you. Not going to lie, the first chapter kinda scared me and pulled me in. It scared me because Jacob was in THAT place and this look like it would be a good idea for him, at all. However, the very strong "eff this and just read it" attitude in me can make me do almost anything. Glad to see that side win. It is different. Very different. Not to mention kinda controversial, in a way. Yes, I know. The idea nags and gnaws at you until you finally put everything down and start to write.
LMAO. Good to know. Babbling is kinda becoming my middle name. Hmm, well I think you are a writing genius and don't think that will change just because you have a laptop and drink too much Diet Coke.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment