The J/B Smut Prompts
Title: The J/B Smut Prompts
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: mostly M (for teh sex), but some K and T
Characters: Jacob/Bella
Genre: Romance/Humor, Romance/Angst, or just plain Romance
Summary:
I took requests for some dirty prompts, and the TATSonians rose admirably rose to the occasion! Here they are: eight slices of lemon cake, each one written on the fly in less than two hours with very little editing. Some funny, some angsty, some just kind of odd, but all about sex ;)
For pnai_87 : What about an extreme lust fic? Where Jacob is in "heat"? or Bella drinks some aphrodesiac, while Jacob has no choice but to give in?
[This one wound up long, somehow. Set during Eclipse.]
Jasper was, quite frankly, completely sick of this shit.
He knew exactly what was going on up there in Edward's room -- the same thing that went on almost every day, now. The angst bleeding down through the floorboards into the living room was overwhelming his emotional radar. If he closed his eyes, he could see it: the purple-green of Bella's self-doubt, the spikey orange of Edward's agitation, and underneath it all the constantly pulsating red of lust. And even if Jasper couldn't read emotions, he'd know what was going on, because Alice was constantly talking to him about it. "Ooh, I think today they might finally... no, Edward decided not to again. Should I give Bella some lacy underwear, Jazz? That will help." (On the plus side, Alice seemed to be getting off on this voyeristic trip into Edward and Bella's potential futures, and Jasper had gotten some of the best sex of his unlife as a result.)
But no, no, it was definitely time for this to end. Those kids needed to just fuck and get it over with, and then Jasper could finally have some peace and quiet.
He concentrated quickly. Pushing Edward was a bad idea, because there was the genuine risk that he'd snap and drain Bella dry, which everyone seemed to agree was a bad idea. (It didn't make all that much difference to Jasper either way, frankly, but Alice would never forgive him and that was unacceptable.) Bella, on the other hand, would be easy. With just a little twinge of pressure she'd probably get over the shyness and the coy euphamisms and simply rip Edward's pants off, and then the problem would be solved. Edward was a cold fish, but even he had limits to his self-control.
So it would be Bella. Jasper closed his eyes, thought about what was happening in the bedroom over his head, traced that pulsating red line that threaded through the girl's body, and then yanked on it. Hard.
The change was intantaneous. Edward remained the same, but everything instantly dropped out of Bella -- the angst, the worry, the self-doubt, even the obsessive devotion. It all disappeared under a wave of crimson. Perfect.
Except... as the minutes ticked by, instead of Edward's passion increasing, there was more agitation. Well, that was to be expected, right? He wouldn't instantly-- then a snap of convoluted emotion so strong that Jasper winced, and voices, and he heard Bella thundering down the stairs and out the front door, while Edward remained in his room, gray grief subsuming the whole damn house.
Alice ran into the living room. "Jazz, what did you do? You won't believe the future I just saw!"
***
It was hard to surprise Jacob Black these days -- his life was a pretty strange one, after all -- but when he opened his front door, he was surprised. He was surprised by Bella's face (cheeks flushed, eyes glassy), and her body (slender ribcage heaving for breath), and her smell (something different, something he couldn't identify immediately). Mostly, though, he was surprised by her words.
"Hi, Jake," she said. "I need you to fuck me."
Jacob blinked. "I-- what?"
"I'm not kidding," she said, pushing past him (she felt stronger, somehow, and he was so shocked he could have been knocked over by a light breeze) and sitting on the edge of his ratty couch. "Your dad's at my house, right? Watching the game?"
"Yeah."
"Good." And Bella stripped off her shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her whole body was as flushed as her face, from her (slender) neck to her (perfect) breasts to her (smooth) stomach. She frowned at him. "Why are you wearing a shirt? You never wear a shirt! Stop wearing a shirt, right now!"
"Uh, Bells," he said, raising his hands, trying to tear his eyes away from her exposed skin, "did you hit your head again?"
"No, I didn't. I just... goddammit, Jake--" (was this his Bells talking?) "--what part of fuck me are you not getting?"
Oh, he was getting it, all right. If she kept talking like this he was going to blow his wad without ever taking off his pants. "Seriously, Bella," he grasped for some sense of composure, backing away as she strode toward him, "this isn't you. This isn't you at all." Now she was kicking off her shoes, unbuttoning her jeans. His back knocked into the wall. "And, hey, shouldn't you be at your leech's house, if you want it so bad?"
There. Bitterness cooled him for a moment, cleared his head.
It lasted all of two seconds.
Then Bella grabbed his wrist and shoved it into her panties, and his fingers slipped over warmth and silky wetness and unbelievable heat. "I'm hot," she said hoarsely, squeezing his wrist, pushing herself against him. "And I want to be hotter. I don't want cold. I don't want to be cold." She leaned her forehead against his chest, and his index finger slipped inside her without effort. "Please, Jake. I'm on fire. Please."
He wasn't made of stone.
They stumbled forward until Bella sat on the arm of the couch, yanking her jeans off, Jacob fumbling with his pants until his erection was free. He'd imagined making love to Bella a million times, every night, and he'd thought in every possible variation. This was not one of the scenarios. He'd thought that he'd at least get to kiss her once before getting her naked, but it was not to be. She grabbed his cock -- a little too hard, and he winced -- lined him up at her entrance, hooked her ankles over his hips and forced him into her in one firm thrust.
They both groaned, and Jacob tried to think of anything, anything at all that would keep him from coming instantly -- oh, wait, shouldn't he be asking about her? "Bells? Are you all right? Does it hurt?"
"No," she said, eyes squeezed closed. "It's perfect. Move, will you?"
He thrust once, twice, three times, then he lost count, his hand at the small of her back to keep her from falling backwards, trying not to hear her moans or the wet noises their bodies were making, trying to do math problems in his head -- that worked, right? -- anything to keep this going... But , thank God, within thirty seconds Bella was writhing against him and gasping and he seriously hoped that those hot clenches around his cock were what he thought they were because it was definitely all over now and he spurted into her and they fell backward onto the couch and he was pretty sure he was dead because nothing could feel this good on earth.
And he hadn't even gotten his shirt off.
"Ow," Bella said from underneath him.
"Oops. Sorry." Jacob lifted himself up, still hovering over her, but at least giving her enough room to breath. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just... ow." She looked up at him and, oh, good, that glassy look was gone, and she looked a lot more like Bella again. Kind of. A messy, naked Bella, anyway. "How about you?"
"Never better," he answered honestly. "But, um, I admit, I'm kind of curious about what this is all about."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Me too, actually. I didn't feel like myself at all." His heart stopped for a moment, and he prepared himself for her to squirm away from him and run out the door. But instead, she gave him a brilliant smile. "But, you know what? I don't care. Can we do that again?"
Jacob was definitely sure he was dead, and he really didn't care.
***
(And, for the record, after that vision, Alice and Jasper fucked all night.)
____
For merefish: Married Jacob/Bella, late 20's, trying to make a baby.
He hoped the kiss would distract her, but no such luck. He ran his hands over her hips as he thrust into her, sliding them around to cup her ass, then started to roll over--
--and his hands were pushed away. "What are you doing?"
Jacob groaned. "C'mon, Bells." He didn't stop moving -- they'd been married for six years, were well past the hormonal surges of adolescence, and could actually hold a conversation during sex. Sort of. "It's not like I'm complaining -- I'm not -- but can we do something a little different? Please?"
Bella gave him a Look, even as she raised her hips to meet each thrust. "Missionary is best for conception."
"I know, I know." He lowered himself, elbows digging into the mattress, and trailed soft kisses across her jawline to her ear. "I just miss you on top, honey. You're so beautiful... and my knees are starting to hurt."
"We're having enough trouble as it is," she said, and Jacob recognized the tone and knew he better distract her quickly before the mood was completely ruined. "It's not like I can tell the fertility doctor 'Oh, my husband is a werewolf, so there might be some biological incompata--' ahh..." Bella's voice trailed off as Jacob reached between them to slide his thumb over her clit.
"I'm sorry," he breathed into her ear, timing each stroke with a flick of his thumb, "were you saying something?"
Bella's only answer was a full-throated moan.
***
Three weeks later, after she presents him with the positive pregnancy test, they make love in every position they can think of and a few they're pretty sure they invented, and then they agree that life is pretty much awesome.
___
For kerame : J/B's first time on First Beach. Hopefully using their driftwood tree for leverage/support
[set in the standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back]
When Bella was five and imagined her first time, she was mostly confused. Her mom had told her the basics (Part A inserts into Slot B), but she'd seen Roy Schultz from down the street run through the sprinkler without pants on, and she knew that Part A was kind of... bouncy. How was that supposed to work? Maybe she was supposed to brace it with a popsicle stick, like a sprained thumb? She'd even asked Roy what he thought, but he wasn't sure either. (Since fair's fair she'd taken off her skirt so that Roy could see Slot B. He declared himself unimpressed, and they played Hungry Hungry Hippos for the rest of the afternoon.)
When Bella was twelve and imagined her first time, she decided it was irrelevant because there would never be a first time. Boys sucked.
When Bella was seventeen and imagined her first time, she knew exactly what it would be like, because she knew who it would be with and how he liked to treat her. There would be rose petals surrounding a soft white bed. Claire de Lune would play in the background. They would be lit by candlelight (which didn't make his skin sparkle, though it did leave the tiniest flickering shimmer), he would undress her, and he would know what to do to her and he would tell her what to do to him and she wouldn't have to worry about a thing. It would be cold -- she knew it would be cold -- but that would be okay, because soon she'd be cold too, and then she really wouldn't have to worry about a thing. They would do this forever, until the moon fell out of the heavens.
When Bella was eighteen, she didn't have to imagine anymore. Her first time was wet and chilly, late at night on a beach she'd never even heard of until fifteen months ago. He tasted like whiskey and she suspected she tasted like weak beer. (The beer had made her bold, had released her self-consciousness enough for her to twirl with her arms out in the moonlight until she got dizzy and fell onto the surf. The whiskey had made him panic that she'd broken her leg. This was hours ago. Now the bonfire had burned out and the others had gone home; all that was left of the beer and whiskey was the taste.) Their first kiss -- coming shortly after his long fingers had patiently untangled the sandy mop that was her wet hair -- had been followed by first caresses, leaning back against the driftwood tree. His hand had (after a quick glance at her face for approval) slid under her shirt, his hot hand palming her breast until she arched into his touch. (He'd looked unbearably smug at that.)
Their first real touches -- real because those touches brought with them the sudden certainty that this was real, they were going to do this, here on La Push at three AM on a Sunday without even a towel between them and the wet sand -- had wiped the smugness from his face and replaced it with gritted teeth and closed eyes. He was hard and heavy against her questing hand (which seemed to know by instinct what to do), and she certainly wasn't wondering how Part A inserted into Slot B. (For a fleeting moment she had wished Roy was there, then remembered that that would be awful on an inconceivable number of levels.) His hands had gently tugged at her blue jeans until they were laying in a salty heap on the sand, and then he was lifting her against the driftwood, his hands under her thighs, his tongue licking a path down her stomach. She had realized what he meant to do and tensed up, but murmured nonsense words mixed with honey and soft and beautiful had relaxed her legs until she parted her knees and let him taste. (She quickly forgot she'd ever been nervous. Any flaws in his technique were remedied by the heat of that 108 degree mouth; she'd cluched at his hair and made noises she hadn't known she was capable of making.)
Their first time happened with wood splinters poking into her stomach as she held onto a branch, her knees scraped up by the beach, with him pushing into her from behind because they couldn't think of another position that would work in these circumstances, his lips pressing kisses to the side of her face, whispering her name and words of love. When she'd gotten home as the sun was rising, she'd had to wash the sand out of her underwear in the bathroom sink, praying the whole while that her father wouldn't wake up before she was done.
In other words, it was better than anything Bella had ever imagined.
___
For thankthatstar : for some reason, i've always wanted to read j/b airplane bathroom sex, but jake would take up all the room and i don't think it would work.
[short and no real smut, but I couldn't figure out how they did it, either!]
Susan's been an airline stewardess for a long time, and she knows exactly what's going on in the bathroom. Teenagers are incapable of subtlety. "Miss?" She says 'miss' because the girl was the first one to go in fifteen minutes ago; Susan had pretended not to see the boy follow her shortly after. "Miss, we're about to land in Jacksonville."
There is a bump, a sound of whispers, and what is definitely a giggle. Then another bump, and another, and another... Susan rolls her eyes. Kids will be kids, but their time is up. She bangs her fist on the lavoratory door a few times. "Miss, you need to return to your seat. Now."
More whispers, and the sound of scrabbling. Susan thinks about stepping back to the front of the plane to give them privacy, but she's annoyed now. The nerve of them, continuing when they knew she was out here! She crosses her arms as the door opens, and the little brunette emerges, blushing, the strap of her tank top falling off her shoulder. Then the boy comes out, and Susan's eyes widen -- he's six and a half feet tall, maybe closer to seven. He winks at her shamelessly, then slides past her to grab the brunette girl's hand as they return to their seats.
Susan glances into the little bathroom, then back at the enormous boy. Yes, she's been an airline stewardess for a long time, but even so, she has absolutely no idea how they managed that. But then, horny teenagers are capable of anything, aren't they?
____
For likexaxdove : Outtake from Sunlight and Hangovers? Wherein they're playing a "Sunlight" drinking game and tipsy Bella and Jake have sexy times?
Bella grabbed the book and held it out in front of her. “Aww, Bea is begging Edgar to turn her into a zombie so that they can eat flesh together! But no, he just kisses her noggin,” she slurred.
Jacob grabbed the book and shoved it back into the standee. “I can feel my mind melting!"
"That's not the best part," Bella said, snatching the book back and flipping through it. "My employee told me about... oh, here we go." Her fingers felt a little numb, trying to turn the ragged-edged paper (done to make the book feel more classic, or something), but she managed. "There it is. 'His eyes, a shining purple'..."
"'Purple'? You're shitting me." Jacob leaned over her shoulder to look at the page, and his hair brushing against her cheek. He smelled like ocean and campfire. "That's the proof of his zombiehood? Purple eyes?"
"Apparently so. Scary, huh?" Bella turned her face to grin at Jake... only to realize that his face was less than an inch from her's. She gulped at his very-not-purple eyes dropped to her lips.
"Well," Jacob said huskily, "you know what this means. There's only one thing to do now."
"What?" she replied breathlessly. She had no idea what he was talking about and she really didn't care, quite frankly, because if he tilted forward just a little bit they could start doing what she'd been dreaming of for five damn years...
...then he leaned back, pulled a silver flask out of his back pocket, and shook it in front of her nose, grinning. "Drinking game!"
Bella blinked.
***
Flip flip flip. "Plum!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Violet!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Amethyst!"
"No, we did amethyst already."
"We did?"
"Yeah, back when he was taking her to the nurse's office, after the sheep brain dissection in biology class, remember?"
"Oh, right. How did you remember that?"
"Because this is so bad that it's burning into my brain."
"And who uses 'amethyst' twice?"
"Bad writers." Flip flip flip. "Lilac!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Puce!"
"She did not say puce."
"Yes she did! Right there, see? Page 189."
"...she did. Are you fucking kidding? Puce?!"
"Is puce even really purple?"
"I think so, but it doesn't look like lilac or anything."
"So sometimes his eyes are light purple and sometimes they're--"
"--puce."
"I don't understand this book at all."
"Me neither." Flip flip flip. "Pomegranate!"
Drink.
***
"Okay," Jacob said, snapping the book shut, "we're done."
Bella blinked woozily. "But we're only halfway through!"
"I know, but if we keep this up, we're going to die of alcohol poisoning."
"You wouldn't," she grumbled, shifting. Her ass was starting to hurt from sitting on the lineoleum. "You're a werewolf. You'd probably just grow another liver. Like Prometheus."
"Who?"
Bella pointed at the Greek Mythology shelf. "Remind me to get you one of those. They're a lot better than this zombie crap."
"Good to know." And Jacob tossed Sunlight across the room. It hit a wall, denting the spine, and Bella made an indignant noise. "No worries, Bells," he said, patting her head. "I'll pay for it. And we'll have another bonfire."
"You better." Ow. She was definitely getting a cramp in her left buttcheek. Why was she even sitting on the floor, when there was a better alternative? Bella lifted herself (the room spun just a little) and plopped into Jacob's lap.
"Uh, Bells?"
"Yeah?" She leaned back against his chest. Ooh, warm. She was starting to get some ideas.
"You know you're sitting on me, right?"
"Yep."
"Okay." Jacob's hands came down to rest on her thighs, where his thumbs started tracing circles against the fabric of her jeans. It felt good. This night just kept getting better and better. "Mmm," she hummed, closing her eyes. His fingers stopped moving, and she frowned. "What?"
"Bells?" His voice was husky, and she could feel his lips brush her earlobe. She pressed back against him instinctually (oh, that felt good, too), and his fingers dug into the flesh of her thighs, just a little. "Bells," he said again, "I really kind of need to know how drunk you are."
Bella wriggled around to face him, straddling his lap... and almost cheered at the feel of the tell-tale bulge pressing against her hip. His all-kinds-of-not-purple eyes were dialated. "I've had the same as you."
Jacob groaned. "Yeah, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a lot bigger than you, and I'm used to drinking."
She leaned forward and nuzzled into his neck, which felt good and smelled good and (she confirmed with a lick that made him jump) tasted good. "I had, in fact, noticed that you're bigger than me. But I think we'll manage."
Jacob groaned again, but it was a different kind of groan. Bella took that as an invitation to really go to work, pressing little butterfly kisses along his collarbone, up the pulsing vein of his neck, before slowly -- slowly -- nibbling just underneath his jawline. She punctuated a nip of his earlobe with a roll of her hips against the bulge. He hissed and grabbed her waist. "Okay, Bells, really. How drunk?"
She knocked her forehead into his shoulder a little harder than strictly necessary. "You're annoyingly chivalrous, you know that?"
"Chivalry," he said, "has nothing to do with it. It's just that I want you to remember the best sex of your life tomorrow morning."
Bella pulled back and squinted at Jacob. Or tried to. His face wasn't focusing that well. "What makes you so sure you'll be the best?"
"Animal intuition. Plus, I've rehearsed it in my head a lot." Jacob looked into her face, then sighed. "You're really, really wasted."
Her shoulders slumped. "Yeah."
"Shit. I should never have suggested that drinking game. This is all Sunlight's fault."
"Yeah." The tension had slipped out of the moment, and Bella was left feeling very tired all of the sudden. Tired, and achy -- both in her head and between her legs. She leaned into Jacob, resting her face in the crook of his neck. "Can I have a raincheck?"
"If you want one, sure."
"Of course I do," she said sleepily. "I've rehearsed too."
There was a long pause. "Really?"
"Yep."
She snuggled in closer to Jake, sleep and a dull ache beginning to pound into her head.
“Bells?” Jacob said slowly, his own body beginning to unwind as well. “You probably won’t remember this, but after all this time I still…” He hesitated.
“Yeah?” Bella asked, her voice just barely a whisper.
“…I still love you.” He placed his head on top of hers and closed his eyes. “Definitely still love you.”
[rats! no real smut! she got too drunk! agh! not my fault, blame Bella, she's a lightweight, and there's a LOT of words for purple in that book!]
___
For lilabut : Jacob and Bella having "fun" during Quil´s birthday party^^
[standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back.]
I want to be where the people are
I want to see, want to see them dancing
"I can't believe this." Bella shook her head. "Seriously, I can't believe this."
"Neither can I, but you have to admit," Jacob said conversationally, "for a half-fish, Ariel's pretty hot."
Bella elbowed Jacob under the blanket. "That's not what I meant, and you know it." She jerked her chin towards the front of the room, where Quil sat on the floor next to Claire, who was happily watching The Little Mermaid for the third time. "It's just... wrong," she whispered.
Most of the others had already gone home from Quil's party in disgust, but a few wolves were still there. Embry remained lounging in an armchair and laughing at Quil. Seth sprawled on the carpet and seemed to be as engrossed in the movie as Claire. Leah was somewhere in the kitchen, being as she was Seth's ride, doing God knew what (they heard a few curses and mutterings from time to time). And Jacob and Bella were spooned on the couch, a comforter pulled to her chin, because it was freezing and apparently no one ever turned their heat on around here.
"I know it's kind of weird," Jacob whispered back. "But, hell, it's Quil's birthday, and if he wants to spend it with Disney and a toddler..."
"But, just... I mean... they're watching cartoons, but one day they're going to be..." Bella made a face.
"I don't think so, actually," Jacob said. "Wait and see. After Claire finally finds someone that meets with Quil's approval, he'll spend his time watching cartoons with her kids. I bet they'll just be best friends, nothing more."
"Like we're best friends?" Bella asked wryly, tilting her face up to look at him.
Jacob grinned. "Not quite that kind of best friend."
She smiled and pressed her body a little closer to his length, comfortable in the warmth (even though her nose was still cold). They'd been best friends plus some for a few weeks now, and hadn't told anyone yet. Though she suspected that the entire wolfpack already knew. If Jacob's mind hadn't already given it away, the snuggling certainly had. (Though they snuggled a lot before they became plus some, too. Really, it was sort of ridiculous that they'd held out for so long.) "Really, though, I like Quil and everything, but after Poor Unfortunate Souls, we're leaving. I'm bored."
"Why wait until then?"
Bella shrugged. "I like that song."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Ursula's awesome."
"Fair enough."
A few minutes passed. Ariel was clinging to the side of the ship, looking adoringly at Eric. Claire was clinging to Quil, looking adoringly at Ariel. Seth was... looking adoringly at Eric. Embry was laughing his ass off. Quil was glaring at Embry. Leah was cursing in the kitchen. And Jacob was moving his hand down to--
"Jake!" Bella hissed.
"What?" he whispered innocently.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Nothing." Beneath the thick blanket, his fingers unsnapped her jeans.
"That," she said, face turning red, "is not nothing." She tried to twist to look him in the eye, but his hand held her hips in place, his thumb stroking the exposed skin just below her navel. She could feel his erection pressing into her lower back. "You have got to be kidding."
"I thought you said you were bored." Bella felt the snick snick snick as Jacob slowly pulled down the zipper of her pants. "This'll make things less boring, right?"
"Yes, but..." She glanced frantically around the room and whispered, "There's people here! There's a baby here!"
"They're all watching the movie. No one's looking." His fingers toyed with the line of her underwear, and to her extreme annoyance, she found herself instantly and almost painfully aroused.
"But they could hear us!"
"Better be quiet, then," Jacob murmured into her ear. Then his hand slipped beneath the waistband of her panties, rubbing suddenly slick fingers along her folds, and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. "That's it, Bells," he said soothingly. He teased around the edge of her core and the bundle of nerves that throbbed, not quite giving her the touches she was now craving. "Don't make a sound, or they'll catch us."
Bella swallowed back a whimper, and she could feel him smile against her hair. When this was over, Jacob was dead. She was going to run him down with her truck. That's all there was to it. She pressed her ass into his hips, hoping to at least torture him as much as he was torturing her, but his free hand instantly snaked around her waist to hold her still. "Now, now, you're the one that was bored," he admonished her, lips tickling her earlobe. "So just relax." She resisted the urge to grind her teeth in frustration -- both with the teasing fingers and the smug bastard they belonged to. She was not only going to run him down, she was going to back over him a few times.
Embry burst out laughing at something Seth said, hiding Bella's gasp as Jacob slid two fingers into her. He stroked and pressed, rocking the heel of his hand against the part she most wanted touched, but slowly, so damn slowly. She made a tiny, high-pitched noise in the back of her throat, and instantly, his hand stopped moving. "If you can't keep quiet, honey," he whispered, sounding for all the world like a teacher lecturing a student, "then we'll have to stop."
Death was too good for him. Bella didn't dare look back at his face, because if she did and saw the insufferable look she knew was there, she would punch him in the jaw -- probably breaking her hand and definitely ending things before they came to their much-needed conclusion. So she released a slow breath and nodded minutely.
"Good girl." Then his hand went back to work, faster this time, his fingers diving in and out of her, curling upwards and rubbing her inner walls, pulling out to circle around her the bundle of nerves that was so desperate for attention, sliding in again, his whole burning hand wet and pushing against her--
Bella came with a sudden jolt, fire shooting up her spine, and Jacob's arm tightened hard around her waist to keep the tell-tale shaking from giving them away. When she bit her lip she tasted blood, but she was absolutely, completely silent. When the shuddering came to a halt, Jacob relaxed his grip on her hips and gently removed his hand, pulling her panties back into place, wiping his fingers on her jeans.
Bella rolled onto her back and met the exact insufferable look she knew would be there. "Hey, honey," Jacob murmured, smirking. The smile slipped from his face when his eyes fell to her bleeding lip. "Oh, Bells, I didn't--"
"You," she interrupted him, her voice a deadly whisper, "are a dead man."
Jacob gulped.
Claire started clapping as Ariel swam around Ursula's cave, making Quil grin in a very un-werewolf-like manner, which sparked Embry and Seth laughing again. Bella turned towards the TV resolutely. "I'm killing you later," she said loftily. "This is my favorite part."
Poor unfortunate souls
Go ahead, make your choice
(As an interesting point of note, it's possible that at one point Leah did, in fact, emerge from the kitchen, only to immediately turn around and return to the refridgerator to resume her search for beer and mutter under her breath about hormonal brats. But if that did happen... Leah would surely never admit to it.)
___
For lilabut and pnai_87 : a really really sad and angsty scene./an argument, a really big fight between Bella and Jacob which leads to a steamy lemon scene.
[well, you people wanted teh angst, so... here's a different turn on Eclipse. i highly recommend listening to Nobody's Side from Chess for this.]
i see my present partner in the imperfect tense and i don't see how we can last / i feel i need a change of cast / maybe I'm on nobody's side
Every time Bella meets Jacob she wonders if it will be the last time. She's not blind. When she stands in the door of his garage, when he rises slowly, wipes his dirty hands on a towel, and turns to face her, she can see it. She can see how he loathes himself, how he's starting to loathe her. Sooner or later -- and she suspects it will be sooner -- he will look at her when she arrives and tell her to go to hell. One of these days he will tell her to get out and never come back.
But that day isn't today.
Jacob strides forward, throws the towel aside, grabs her by the hair and crushes her mouth to his.
i know this can't continue / i've still a lot to prove / there must be more i could achieve / but I don't have the nerve to leave
Bella is different when she comes back from Italy, so different that Jacob is sure that that vampire bastard Changed her with a capital C while she was gone. It's not until he touches her arm and feels the reassuring warmth that he's sure she still has a pulse. She's still alive -- thank God for that -- but she's different. Her skin isn't cold but her eyes are. It scares him, but there's also that little flicker of hope. Maybe if she's different, she'll be thinking differently. Maybe she won't want Cullen anymore. Maybe she'll see how much more he can offer. Cullen can only offer venom. Jacob will offer his heart, his lungs, his limbs, everything he has and everything he can get, if she'll just look at him the way she looks at that bloodsucker.
She never does look at him that way, but he gives her everything he has nonetheless.
everybody's playing the game / but nobody's rules are the same / nobody's on nobody's side
It can't really be called a kiss -- there's too much tongue and teeth and bruising for that -- but she's had kisses, plenty of them, and they don't have the same effect as what Jacob gives her. Edward once called her his 'personal brand of heroin.' Bella thought she understood it at the time. She didn't know then how much she had left to learn.
He has to bend over too far to meet her mouth, and standing on her tiptoes doesn't do much to fix the foot-and-a-half height difference between them. Strong, rough hands grab her by the ass and lift her onto workbench, none-too-gently. He hasn't been gentle with her in a long time. Bella likes him better this way.
Her hands fist into his shirt and pull him closer as she wraps her legs around his waist, the hard length of him easy to feel through his shorts and her underwear. Her skirt has ridden up to her hips. She wears skirts now when she goes to visit him. They destroyed too many pairs of her jeans.
She bites his lower lip, and he groans into her mouth. Jacob is her heroin, and while she may not be a vampire yet, she will drain them both dry to get what she needs.
the one i should not think of keeps rolling through my mind / and i don't want to let that go
After she comes back, after the first visit to confirm she's both alive and Alive, Bella doesn't contact him. Jacob leaves a few messages on her cell phone, a couple of texts, then stops; he wants to call every five minutes until she picks up, but he still has his dignity. If she wants to be with Cullen, then so be it. As long as Cullen doesn't turn her into a marble statue, she can do whatever she wants.
He spends a lot of time as a wolf during this period of time.
Jacob hears things, of course. Charlie isn't happy that Cullen is back, and he talks to Billy about it. Bella is spending all of her time with the leeches. Charlie's not even sure she's going to school. Some nights she doesn't come home. Billy tells Jacob these things, gently, obviously trying to prepare his only son for the first and most painful heartbreak he'll face in his young life. Billy doesn't think Bella's coming back. Deep down, Jacob doesn't think she is, either. But he knows she's still breathing, and as long as she's breathing, there's hope.
Then one day, she appears in the doorway of his garage.
no lover's ever faithful / no contract truly signed / there's nothing certain left to know / and how the cracks begin to show
Jacob's hands are in her hair again, pulling her head back, exposing her neck to his nipping teeth. Her head hurts and her neck hurts and she's so wet she's surprised she doesn't slide right off the bench. She takes the opportunity to unsnap his shorts, then hooks her toes into his waistband and arches her back -- the pants fall to his ankles, and he's not wearing underwear. He must have known she was coming. Or at least suspected.
Bella reaches between them to wrap her hand around his cock, touching him as roughly as he's touching her. He hisses against her throat, and it might be from pain or pleasure, but she's not really sure of the difference anymore. She knows he's not, either. Regardless, she only manages a few strokes before he growls and knocks her hand aside, then he reaches underneath her skirt, pushes the crotch of her panties to the side, and shoves three fingers into her. It burns -- it burns badly -- and she's not sure why, until she realizes his fingers still have motor oil on them. The thought turns her on so much that she nearly comes on the spot.
Edward will smell the oil. He'll smell Jacob all over her. Bella's looking forward to it.
never make a promise or plan / take a little love where you can
"Bells." Jacob's happy that his voice sounds calm and level. Maybe he doesn't feel it, but at least he sounds it. "Long time, no see."
"Yeah." She walks into the garage like she owns it. The way she owns him. "Too long, I think."
"And you're still alive, I see." His voice obeyed him before, so this time he tries to add some belligerance. He fails and only manages petulant.
"I am. For now, anyway." She picks up a hammer from the work bench and inspects it like it's going to reveal the secrets of the universe.
It's never been like this between them. It's never been hard to talk. That was one of the things Jacob loved the most -- that conversation between them was as easy as breathing. But then, she might not be breathing for much longer. "So..." he casts around for something to say, "how was Italy?"
"Awful," she replies. "Absolutely awful."
He blinks -- he hadn't expected that. "Oh."
Finally Bella looks at him, and she is older than he remembers. "The vampires there... they do things. They eat things. People. That's what vampires do, Jacob. They eat people. All of them. Even Edward used to. And I will too, when I change."
"But you don't have to," Jacob says quickly, relief flooding through him at her dark words. She's changed her mind. His prayers are answered. "You don't have to be one of them."
"Yes, Jake. I do." She smiles and there's no humor in it. "I know too much. It's this or death. Not just my death -- everyone's death. My mother and father. Edward. You. Everyone who knows. Everyone who might know. It'll be at the end of the school year, so that I can go off 'backpacking around Europe' and conveniently die in an accident. And that'll be it."
"The Pack can protect you. Or we could go somewhere, we can run--"
"No," she says. "No, we can't. Not from this."
never be the first to believe / never be the last to deceive
They remove their hands from one another just long enough to pull their shirts off, and Bella revels once again at the unbelievable heat of him, the way his chest burns against her breasts. She tries her best to absorb as much of that delicious warmth as she can, before the day comes when she won't be able to feel it anymore. She's taking so much of his heat that he might not have any left for himself by the time she's done.
She reaches up with the intent of tangling her fingers into his hair, but Jacob grabs her wrists before she gets the chance and pins them to the bench behind her, forcing her to lean backward at an angle, body completely exposed aside from the skirt still bunched at her waist. He attacks her breasts, sucking first on one and then the other, biting hard on her nipple when she squirms. It hurts and her head falls back and bumps into the wall, knocking off a few screwdrivers from their hooks. One hits her shoulder and scrapes a long red welt into her skin. She gasps, and Jacob releases her wrists, yanks her hips back to the edge of the bench, and thrusts into her so hard that she can feel herself bruising on the inside.
It's perfect.
never stay a minute too long / don't forget the best will go wrong
When Bella kisses him, her lips are soft, but not as soft as he imagined. It's like there's steel inside her now, and he likes it, but it's also scary. Bella was meant to be soft. Not like this.
"I hate him," she whispers against Jacob's mouth. "He should never have come back. He should have run away the minute he knew he loved me. I hate him and I'm going to spend all eternity with him anyway because where else can I go?" She pulls back, and Jacob doesn't even recognize what's in her eyes. "My life is over."
"No, no, no." He wraps his arms around her and crushes her against his body, trying to absorb her, to protect her. "Don't talk like that, honey. There's got to be a way out of this."
"There isn't. But can you help me with one thing, Jake?"
"Anything," he promises. "Anything."
Bella's hands move between them, to Jacob's belt buckle. "Make me yours instead of his." She undoes the buckle and pushes his jeans off of his hips. "Mark me up." Her palm slides against his cock, which has been erect since the moment her lips met his. "Help me hurt him."
"Bells," he whispers, his stomach turning to lead even as he shivers under her touch. "You want to use me for revenge?"
"Yes." She wraps her hand around him and strokes. Hard. "Please, Jacob. Please do this for me. You're the only one who can."
He groans and presses his lips to hers as something in him dies.
better learn to go it alone / recognize you're out on your own / nobody's on nobody's side
Afterwards, they put their clothes back on in silence. The first few times this happened, Bella tried to think of something to say, something that would make this less horrible, that would take away some of the poison she was leaving in him. She's given up on that now. There's nothing that will make this better. But she can't give it up.
Jacob doesn't look at her. He just turns back to the bike. "I've got a lot of work to do still. I'll see you later, Bella." He doesn't call her 'Bells' anymore.
Bella nods to his back. "Okay. Have a good night." As she walks out of the garage, she thinks this might be it. This might be the last time. Next time she returns, he'll tell her he's done with her, and that'll be it.
Except, if she was being honest with herself, she'd know that will never happen.
Jacob will never tell Bella no.
___
For _argustar and rainey_lane : Either food + Bella + sex = Jacob's Greatest Day Ever, or Bella + masturbation + Jacob catching her in the act = Jacob's Other Greatest Day Ever?/How about college Bella being caught by reading a dirty book at the library when a visiting Jake catches her?
[standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back.]
Jacob sat down in Bella's desk chair, opened her laptop, and clicked on the Firefox icon. "What am I looking for, Bells?" he called.
"The Kitchenaid website!" Her voice traveled up the stairs. "See if they have anything about repairs!"
"Okay!" It would be kitchenaid.com, right? He highlighted the web address bar, typed 'K', and... the bar autofilled with the most frequently visited address.
Jacob's eyes widened.
A few minutes later, Bella burst into the room, looking disheveled and extremely put out. Most of her front -- along with her hands, some of her face, and even her hair -- was covered in brownie batter. "I can't believe that thing broke," she said, pulling a towel out of the laundry basket and wiping her face. "Charlie just got it for me, Kitchenaids are supposed to be indestructable... did you find the repair section yet?" She leaned over Jacob's shoulder (he was being suspiciously still and quiet), and saw the computer screen. Saw what he was looking at. And she did the only thing a teenage girl could do in that situation.
She screamed. "You jerk!"
Jacob jumped up, knocking over the chair, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean to--"
"Turn it off! Turn it off!"
"Bells, honestly, it just came up--"
She lunged forward and slammed the laptop shut so hard that something rattled inside, then flopped face down onto the bed. "Get out!" Her voice was muffled. "Go away and don't ever look at me again! And stop smirking!"
How did she know that? Jacob lowered his hands and tried to school his face. "Uh, honey--"
"Don't call me that! Get out!"
"--you do know you're getting brownies all over your sheets, right?"
Bella groaned into the comforter.
He sat down next to her on the bed, doing an admirable job (in his opinion) of not laughing his ass off. Unable to resist, he swiped his index finger along her arm, wiping up a bit of batter, and popped it in his mouth. "This is pretty tasty."
"Shut up."
"No, really, it's good."
"It's got raw egg in it."
"So I might get salmonella?"
"I hope you do."
Jacob swiped a little more batter from the edge of her shoulder. "Hey, it's not my fault you don't delete your browsing history. And I could use a little sympathy here. My innocence is ruined. You've contributed to the corruption of a minor."
"I hate you so much right now."
For a moment he seriously considered licking the last few spots of brownie from the crook of her neck -- where would that take him? Would she roll over for him? Could he kiss the vanilla out of her mouth? Would their skin get sticky from sugar and raw egg as they pulled off their clothes and fell into the batter-covered sheets? -- but thought better of it. She'd probably stab him. So he settled for one last finger swipe against the side of her face and a last little taste of chocolate. "Bells, come on. I know you're embarrassed, but it's not that bad, okay? I swear, once we leave this room, I will never, ever bring it up again."
A long silence, then, "Promise?"
Jacob held up two fingers, not that she could see it. "Scout's honor."
Bella's body heaved with a huge sigh, then she rolled onto her back, forearm still over her eyes. "Okay. But don't look at me for a few hours. I need some time to recover my dignity."
"No problem." Jacob watched as Bella got up off the bed (leaving a brownie splotch behind), and figured it was safe to engage in some mental imagery as long as her back was turned to him--
"Stop that," she said, stalking out of the bedroom.
How did she always know? Unable to resist, Jacob kept one foot inside the room (so as to keep his promise), and called after her, "So, do you have a Catholic school girl uniform?"
"Shut up!"
[no smut, somehow, but... that's just how it worked out! Bella wouldn't cooperate!]
___
Link to the original TATS thread.
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: mostly M (for teh sex), but some K and T
Characters: Jacob/Bella
Genre: Romance/Humor, Romance/Angst, or just plain Romance
Summary:
I took requests for some dirty prompts, and the TATSonians rose admirably rose to the occasion! Here they are: eight slices of lemon cake, each one written on the fly in less than two hours with very little editing. Some funny, some angsty, some just kind of odd, but all about sex ;)
For pnai_87 : What about an extreme lust fic? Where Jacob is in "heat"? or Bella drinks some aphrodesiac, while Jacob has no choice but to give in?
[This one wound up long, somehow. Set during Eclipse.]
Jasper was, quite frankly, completely sick of this shit.
He knew exactly what was going on up there in Edward's room -- the same thing that went on almost every day, now. The angst bleeding down through the floorboards into the living room was overwhelming his emotional radar. If he closed his eyes, he could see it: the purple-green of Bella's self-doubt, the spikey orange of Edward's agitation, and underneath it all the constantly pulsating red of lust. And even if Jasper couldn't read emotions, he'd know what was going on, because Alice was constantly talking to him about it. "Ooh, I think today they might finally... no, Edward decided not to again. Should I give Bella some lacy underwear, Jazz? That will help." (On the plus side, Alice seemed to be getting off on this voyeristic trip into Edward and Bella's potential futures, and Jasper had gotten some of the best sex of his unlife as a result.)
But no, no, it was definitely time for this to end. Those kids needed to just fuck and get it over with, and then Jasper could finally have some peace and quiet.
He concentrated quickly. Pushing Edward was a bad idea, because there was the genuine risk that he'd snap and drain Bella dry, which everyone seemed to agree was a bad idea. (It didn't make all that much difference to Jasper either way, frankly, but Alice would never forgive him and that was unacceptable.) Bella, on the other hand, would be easy. With just a little twinge of pressure she'd probably get over the shyness and the coy euphamisms and simply rip Edward's pants off, and then the problem would be solved. Edward was a cold fish, but even he had limits to his self-control.
So it would be Bella. Jasper closed his eyes, thought about what was happening in the bedroom over his head, traced that pulsating red line that threaded through the girl's body, and then yanked on it. Hard.
The change was intantaneous. Edward remained the same, but everything instantly dropped out of Bella -- the angst, the worry, the self-doubt, even the obsessive devotion. It all disappeared under a wave of crimson. Perfect.
Except... as the minutes ticked by, instead of Edward's passion increasing, there was more agitation. Well, that was to be expected, right? He wouldn't instantly-- then a snap of convoluted emotion so strong that Jasper winced, and voices, and he heard Bella thundering down the stairs and out the front door, while Edward remained in his room, gray grief subsuming the whole damn house.
Alice ran into the living room. "Jazz, what did you do? You won't believe the future I just saw!"
***
It was hard to surprise Jacob Black these days -- his life was a pretty strange one, after all -- but when he opened his front door, he was surprised. He was surprised by Bella's face (cheeks flushed, eyes glassy), and her body (slender ribcage heaving for breath), and her smell (something different, something he couldn't identify immediately). Mostly, though, he was surprised by her words.
"Hi, Jake," she said. "I need you to fuck me."
Jacob blinked. "I-- what?"
"I'm not kidding," she said, pushing past him (she felt stronger, somehow, and he was so shocked he could have been knocked over by a light breeze) and sitting on the edge of his ratty couch. "Your dad's at my house, right? Watching the game?"
"Yeah."
"Good." And Bella stripped off her shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her whole body was as flushed as her face, from her (slender) neck to her (perfect) breasts to her (smooth) stomach. She frowned at him. "Why are you wearing a shirt? You never wear a shirt! Stop wearing a shirt, right now!"
"Uh, Bells," he said, raising his hands, trying to tear his eyes away from her exposed skin, "did you hit your head again?"
"No, I didn't. I just... goddammit, Jake--" (was this his Bells talking?) "--what part of fuck me are you not getting?"
Oh, he was getting it, all right. If she kept talking like this he was going to blow his wad without ever taking off his pants. "Seriously, Bella," he grasped for some sense of composure, backing away as she strode toward him, "this isn't you. This isn't you at all." Now she was kicking off her shoes, unbuttoning her jeans. His back knocked into the wall. "And, hey, shouldn't you be at your leech's house, if you want it so bad?"
There. Bitterness cooled him for a moment, cleared his head.
It lasted all of two seconds.
Then Bella grabbed his wrist and shoved it into her panties, and his fingers slipped over warmth and silky wetness and unbelievable heat. "I'm hot," she said hoarsely, squeezing his wrist, pushing herself against him. "And I want to be hotter. I don't want cold. I don't want to be cold." She leaned her forehead against his chest, and his index finger slipped inside her without effort. "Please, Jake. I'm on fire. Please."
He wasn't made of stone.
They stumbled forward until Bella sat on the arm of the couch, yanking her jeans off, Jacob fumbling with his pants until his erection was free. He'd imagined making love to Bella a million times, every night, and he'd thought in every possible variation. This was not one of the scenarios. He'd thought that he'd at least get to kiss her once before getting her naked, but it was not to be. She grabbed his cock -- a little too hard, and he winced -- lined him up at her entrance, hooked her ankles over his hips and forced him into her in one firm thrust.
They both groaned, and Jacob tried to think of anything, anything at all that would keep him from coming instantly -- oh, wait, shouldn't he be asking about her? "Bells? Are you all right? Does it hurt?"
"No," she said, eyes squeezed closed. "It's perfect. Move, will you?"
He thrust once, twice, three times, then he lost count, his hand at the small of her back to keep her from falling backwards, trying not to hear her moans or the wet noises their bodies were making, trying to do math problems in his head -- that worked, right? -- anything to keep this going... But , thank God, within thirty seconds Bella was writhing against him and gasping and he seriously hoped that those hot clenches around his cock were what he thought they were because it was definitely all over now and he spurted into her and they fell backward onto the couch and he was pretty sure he was dead because nothing could feel this good on earth.
And he hadn't even gotten his shirt off.
"Ow," Bella said from underneath him.
"Oops. Sorry." Jacob lifted himself up, still hovering over her, but at least giving her enough room to breath. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just... ow." She looked up at him and, oh, good, that glassy look was gone, and she looked a lot more like Bella again. Kind of. A messy, naked Bella, anyway. "How about you?"
"Never better," he answered honestly. "But, um, I admit, I'm kind of curious about what this is all about."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Me too, actually. I didn't feel like myself at all." His heart stopped for a moment, and he prepared himself for her to squirm away from him and run out the door. But instead, she gave him a brilliant smile. "But, you know what? I don't care. Can we do that again?"
Jacob was definitely sure he was dead, and he really didn't care.
***
(And, for the record, after that vision, Alice and Jasper fucked all night.)
____
For merefish: Married Jacob/Bella, late 20's, trying to make a baby.
He hoped the kiss would distract her, but no such luck. He ran his hands over her hips as he thrust into her, sliding them around to cup her ass, then started to roll over--
--and his hands were pushed away. "What are you doing?"
Jacob groaned. "C'mon, Bells." He didn't stop moving -- they'd been married for six years, were well past the hormonal surges of adolescence, and could actually hold a conversation during sex. Sort of. "It's not like I'm complaining -- I'm not -- but can we do something a little different? Please?"
Bella gave him a Look, even as she raised her hips to meet each thrust. "Missionary is best for conception."
"I know, I know." He lowered himself, elbows digging into the mattress, and trailed soft kisses across her jawline to her ear. "I just miss you on top, honey. You're so beautiful... and my knees are starting to hurt."
"We're having enough trouble as it is," she said, and Jacob recognized the tone and knew he better distract her quickly before the mood was completely ruined. "It's not like I can tell the fertility doctor 'Oh, my husband is a werewolf, so there might be some biological incompata--' ahh..." Bella's voice trailed off as Jacob reached between them to slide his thumb over her clit.
"I'm sorry," he breathed into her ear, timing each stroke with a flick of his thumb, "were you saying something?"
Bella's only answer was a full-throated moan.
***
Three weeks later, after she presents him with the positive pregnancy test, they make love in every position they can think of and a few they're pretty sure they invented, and then they agree that life is pretty much awesome.
___
For kerame : J/B's first time on First Beach. Hopefully using their driftwood tree for leverage/support
[set in the standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back]
When Bella was five and imagined her first time, she was mostly confused. Her mom had told her the basics (Part A inserts into Slot B), but she'd seen Roy Schultz from down the street run through the sprinkler without pants on, and she knew that Part A was kind of... bouncy. How was that supposed to work? Maybe she was supposed to brace it with a popsicle stick, like a sprained thumb? She'd even asked Roy what he thought, but he wasn't sure either. (Since fair's fair she'd taken off her skirt so that Roy could see Slot B. He declared himself unimpressed, and they played Hungry Hungry Hippos for the rest of the afternoon.)
When Bella was twelve and imagined her first time, she decided it was irrelevant because there would never be a first time. Boys sucked.
When Bella was seventeen and imagined her first time, she knew exactly what it would be like, because she knew who it would be with and how he liked to treat her. There would be rose petals surrounding a soft white bed. Claire de Lune would play in the background. They would be lit by candlelight (which didn't make his skin sparkle, though it did leave the tiniest flickering shimmer), he would undress her, and he would know what to do to her and he would tell her what to do to him and she wouldn't have to worry about a thing. It would be cold -- she knew it would be cold -- but that would be okay, because soon she'd be cold too, and then she really wouldn't have to worry about a thing. They would do this forever, until the moon fell out of the heavens.
When Bella was eighteen, she didn't have to imagine anymore. Her first time was wet and chilly, late at night on a beach she'd never even heard of until fifteen months ago. He tasted like whiskey and she suspected she tasted like weak beer. (The beer had made her bold, had released her self-consciousness enough for her to twirl with her arms out in the moonlight until she got dizzy and fell onto the surf. The whiskey had made him panic that she'd broken her leg. This was hours ago. Now the bonfire had burned out and the others had gone home; all that was left of the beer and whiskey was the taste.) Their first kiss -- coming shortly after his long fingers had patiently untangled the sandy mop that was her wet hair -- had been followed by first caresses, leaning back against the driftwood tree. His hand had (after a quick glance at her face for approval) slid under her shirt, his hot hand palming her breast until she arched into his touch. (He'd looked unbearably smug at that.)
Their first real touches -- real because those touches brought with them the sudden certainty that this was real, they were going to do this, here on La Push at three AM on a Sunday without even a towel between them and the wet sand -- had wiped the smugness from his face and replaced it with gritted teeth and closed eyes. He was hard and heavy against her questing hand (which seemed to know by instinct what to do), and she certainly wasn't wondering how Part A inserted into Slot B. (For a fleeting moment she had wished Roy was there, then remembered that that would be awful on an inconceivable number of levels.) His hands had gently tugged at her blue jeans until they were laying in a salty heap on the sand, and then he was lifting her against the driftwood, his hands under her thighs, his tongue licking a path down her stomach. She had realized what he meant to do and tensed up, but murmured nonsense words mixed with honey and soft and beautiful had relaxed her legs until she parted her knees and let him taste. (She quickly forgot she'd ever been nervous. Any flaws in his technique were remedied by the heat of that 108 degree mouth; she'd cluched at his hair and made noises she hadn't known she was capable of making.)
Their first time happened with wood splinters poking into her stomach as she held onto a branch, her knees scraped up by the beach, with him pushing into her from behind because they couldn't think of another position that would work in these circumstances, his lips pressing kisses to the side of her face, whispering her name and words of love. When she'd gotten home as the sun was rising, she'd had to wash the sand out of her underwear in the bathroom sink, praying the whole while that her father wouldn't wake up before she was done.
In other words, it was better than anything Bella had ever imagined.
___
For thankthatstar : for some reason, i've always wanted to read j/b airplane bathroom sex, but jake would take up all the room and i don't think it would work.
[short and no real smut, but I couldn't figure out how they did it, either!]
Susan's been an airline stewardess for a long time, and she knows exactly what's going on in the bathroom. Teenagers are incapable of subtlety. "Miss?" She says 'miss' because the girl was the first one to go in fifteen minutes ago; Susan had pretended not to see the boy follow her shortly after. "Miss, we're about to land in Jacksonville."
There is a bump, a sound of whispers, and what is definitely a giggle. Then another bump, and another, and another... Susan rolls her eyes. Kids will be kids, but their time is up. She bangs her fist on the lavoratory door a few times. "Miss, you need to return to your seat. Now."
More whispers, and the sound of scrabbling. Susan thinks about stepping back to the front of the plane to give them privacy, but she's annoyed now. The nerve of them, continuing when they knew she was out here! She crosses her arms as the door opens, and the little brunette emerges, blushing, the strap of her tank top falling off her shoulder. Then the boy comes out, and Susan's eyes widen -- he's six and a half feet tall, maybe closer to seven. He winks at her shamelessly, then slides past her to grab the brunette girl's hand as they return to their seats.
Susan glances into the little bathroom, then back at the enormous boy. Yes, she's been an airline stewardess for a long time, but even so, she has absolutely no idea how they managed that. But then, horny teenagers are capable of anything, aren't they?
____
For likexaxdove : Outtake from Sunlight and Hangovers? Wherein they're playing a "Sunlight" drinking game and tipsy Bella and Jake have sexy times?
Bella grabbed the book and held it out in front of her. “Aww, Bea is begging Edgar to turn her into a zombie so that they can eat flesh together! But no, he just kisses her noggin,” she slurred.
Jacob grabbed the book and shoved it back into the standee. “I can feel my mind melting!"
"That's not the best part," Bella said, snatching the book back and flipping through it. "My employee told me about... oh, here we go." Her fingers felt a little numb, trying to turn the ragged-edged paper (done to make the book feel more classic, or something), but she managed. "There it is. 'His eyes, a shining purple'..."
"'Purple'? You're shitting me." Jacob leaned over her shoulder to look at the page, and his hair brushing against her cheek. He smelled like ocean and campfire. "That's the proof of his zombiehood? Purple eyes?"
"Apparently so. Scary, huh?" Bella turned her face to grin at Jake... only to realize that his face was less than an inch from her's. She gulped at his very-not-purple eyes dropped to her lips.
"Well," Jacob said huskily, "you know what this means. There's only one thing to do now."
"What?" she replied breathlessly. She had no idea what he was talking about and she really didn't care, quite frankly, because if he tilted forward just a little bit they could start doing what she'd been dreaming of for five damn years...
...then he leaned back, pulled a silver flask out of his back pocket, and shook it in front of her nose, grinning. "Drinking game!"
Bella blinked.
***
Flip flip flip. "Plum!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Violet!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Amethyst!"
"No, we did amethyst already."
"We did?"
"Yeah, back when he was taking her to the nurse's office, after the sheep brain dissection in biology class, remember?"
"Oh, right. How did you remember that?"
"Because this is so bad that it's burning into my brain."
"And who uses 'amethyst' twice?"
"Bad writers." Flip flip flip. "Lilac!"
Drink.
Flip flip flip. "Puce!"
"She did not say puce."
"Yes she did! Right there, see? Page 189."
"...she did. Are you fucking kidding? Puce?!"
"Is puce even really purple?"
"I think so, but it doesn't look like lilac or anything."
"So sometimes his eyes are light purple and sometimes they're--"
"--puce."
"I don't understand this book at all."
"Me neither." Flip flip flip. "Pomegranate!"
Drink.
***
"Okay," Jacob said, snapping the book shut, "we're done."
Bella blinked woozily. "But we're only halfway through!"
"I know, but if we keep this up, we're going to die of alcohol poisoning."
"You wouldn't," she grumbled, shifting. Her ass was starting to hurt from sitting on the lineoleum. "You're a werewolf. You'd probably just grow another liver. Like Prometheus."
"Who?"
Bella pointed at the Greek Mythology shelf. "Remind me to get you one of those. They're a lot better than this zombie crap."
"Good to know." And Jacob tossed Sunlight across the room. It hit a wall, denting the spine, and Bella made an indignant noise. "No worries, Bells," he said, patting her head. "I'll pay for it. And we'll have another bonfire."
"You better." Ow. She was definitely getting a cramp in her left buttcheek. Why was she even sitting on the floor, when there was a better alternative? Bella lifted herself (the room spun just a little) and plopped into Jacob's lap.
"Uh, Bells?"
"Yeah?" She leaned back against his chest. Ooh, warm. She was starting to get some ideas.
"You know you're sitting on me, right?"
"Yep."
"Okay." Jacob's hands came down to rest on her thighs, where his thumbs started tracing circles against the fabric of her jeans. It felt good. This night just kept getting better and better. "Mmm," she hummed, closing her eyes. His fingers stopped moving, and she frowned. "What?"
"Bells?" His voice was husky, and she could feel his lips brush her earlobe. She pressed back against him instinctually (oh, that felt good, too), and his fingers dug into the flesh of her thighs, just a little. "Bells," he said again, "I really kind of need to know how drunk you are."
Bella wriggled around to face him, straddling his lap... and almost cheered at the feel of the tell-tale bulge pressing against her hip. His all-kinds-of-not-purple eyes were dialated. "I've had the same as you."
Jacob groaned. "Yeah, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a lot bigger than you, and I'm used to drinking."
She leaned forward and nuzzled into his neck, which felt good and smelled good and (she confirmed with a lick that made him jump) tasted good. "I had, in fact, noticed that you're bigger than me. But I think we'll manage."
Jacob groaned again, but it was a different kind of groan. Bella took that as an invitation to really go to work, pressing little butterfly kisses along his collarbone, up the pulsing vein of his neck, before slowly -- slowly -- nibbling just underneath his jawline. She punctuated a nip of his earlobe with a roll of her hips against the bulge. He hissed and grabbed her waist. "Okay, Bells, really. How drunk?"
She knocked her forehead into his shoulder a little harder than strictly necessary. "You're annoyingly chivalrous, you know that?"
"Chivalry," he said, "has nothing to do with it. It's just that I want you to remember the best sex of your life tomorrow morning."
Bella pulled back and squinted at Jacob. Or tried to. His face wasn't focusing that well. "What makes you so sure you'll be the best?"
"Animal intuition. Plus, I've rehearsed it in my head a lot." Jacob looked into her face, then sighed. "You're really, really wasted."
Her shoulders slumped. "Yeah."
"Shit. I should never have suggested that drinking game. This is all Sunlight's fault."
"Yeah." The tension had slipped out of the moment, and Bella was left feeling very tired all of the sudden. Tired, and achy -- both in her head and between her legs. She leaned into Jacob, resting her face in the crook of his neck. "Can I have a raincheck?"
"If you want one, sure."
"Of course I do," she said sleepily. "I've rehearsed too."
There was a long pause. "Really?"
"Yep."
She snuggled in closer to Jake, sleep and a dull ache beginning to pound into her head.
“Bells?” Jacob said slowly, his own body beginning to unwind as well. “You probably won’t remember this, but after all this time I still…” He hesitated.
“Yeah?” Bella asked, her voice just barely a whisper.
“…I still love you.” He placed his head on top of hers and closed his eyes. “Definitely still love you.”
[rats! no real smut! she got too drunk! agh! not my fault, blame Bella, she's a lightweight, and there's a LOT of words for purple in that book!]
___
For lilabut : Jacob and Bella having "fun" during Quil´s birthday party^^
[standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back.]
I want to be where the people are
I want to see, want to see them dancing
"I can't believe this." Bella shook her head. "Seriously, I can't believe this."
"Neither can I, but you have to admit," Jacob said conversationally, "for a half-fish, Ariel's pretty hot."
Bella elbowed Jacob under the blanket. "That's not what I meant, and you know it." She jerked her chin towards the front of the room, where Quil sat on the floor next to Claire, who was happily watching The Little Mermaid for the third time. "It's just... wrong," she whispered.
Most of the others had already gone home from Quil's party in disgust, but a few wolves were still there. Embry remained lounging in an armchair and laughing at Quil. Seth sprawled on the carpet and seemed to be as engrossed in the movie as Claire. Leah was somewhere in the kitchen, being as she was Seth's ride, doing God knew what (they heard a few curses and mutterings from time to time). And Jacob and Bella were spooned on the couch, a comforter pulled to her chin, because it was freezing and apparently no one ever turned their heat on around here.
"I know it's kind of weird," Jacob whispered back. "But, hell, it's Quil's birthday, and if he wants to spend it with Disney and a toddler..."
"But, just... I mean... they're watching cartoons, but one day they're going to be..." Bella made a face.
"I don't think so, actually," Jacob said. "Wait and see. After Claire finally finds someone that meets with Quil's approval, he'll spend his time watching cartoons with her kids. I bet they'll just be best friends, nothing more."
"Like we're best friends?" Bella asked wryly, tilting her face up to look at him.
Jacob grinned. "Not quite that kind of best friend."
She smiled and pressed her body a little closer to his length, comfortable in the warmth (even though her nose was still cold). They'd been best friends plus some for a few weeks now, and hadn't told anyone yet. Though she suspected that the entire wolfpack already knew. If Jacob's mind hadn't already given it away, the snuggling certainly had. (Though they snuggled a lot before they became plus some, too. Really, it was sort of ridiculous that they'd held out for so long.) "Really, though, I like Quil and everything, but after Poor Unfortunate Souls, we're leaving. I'm bored."
"Why wait until then?"
Bella shrugged. "I like that song."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Ursula's awesome."
"Fair enough."
A few minutes passed. Ariel was clinging to the side of the ship, looking adoringly at Eric. Claire was clinging to Quil, looking adoringly at Ariel. Seth was... looking adoringly at Eric. Embry was laughing his ass off. Quil was glaring at Embry. Leah was cursing in the kitchen. And Jacob was moving his hand down to--
"Jake!" Bella hissed.
"What?" he whispered innocently.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Nothing." Beneath the thick blanket, his fingers unsnapped her jeans.
"That," she said, face turning red, "is not nothing." She tried to twist to look him in the eye, but his hand held her hips in place, his thumb stroking the exposed skin just below her navel. She could feel his erection pressing into her lower back. "You have got to be kidding."
"I thought you said you were bored." Bella felt the snick snick snick as Jacob slowly pulled down the zipper of her pants. "This'll make things less boring, right?"
"Yes, but..." She glanced frantically around the room and whispered, "There's people here! There's a baby here!"
"They're all watching the movie. No one's looking." His fingers toyed with the line of her underwear, and to her extreme annoyance, she found herself instantly and almost painfully aroused.
"But they could hear us!"
"Better be quiet, then," Jacob murmured into her ear. Then his hand slipped beneath the waistband of her panties, rubbing suddenly slick fingers along her folds, and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. "That's it, Bells," he said soothingly. He teased around the edge of her core and the bundle of nerves that throbbed, not quite giving her the touches she was now craving. "Don't make a sound, or they'll catch us."
Bella swallowed back a whimper, and she could feel him smile against her hair. When this was over, Jacob was dead. She was going to run him down with her truck. That's all there was to it. She pressed her ass into his hips, hoping to at least torture him as much as he was torturing her, but his free hand instantly snaked around her waist to hold her still. "Now, now, you're the one that was bored," he admonished her, lips tickling her earlobe. "So just relax." She resisted the urge to grind her teeth in frustration -- both with the teasing fingers and the smug bastard they belonged to. She was not only going to run him down, she was going to back over him a few times.
Embry burst out laughing at something Seth said, hiding Bella's gasp as Jacob slid two fingers into her. He stroked and pressed, rocking the heel of his hand against the part she most wanted touched, but slowly, so damn slowly. She made a tiny, high-pitched noise in the back of her throat, and instantly, his hand stopped moving. "If you can't keep quiet, honey," he whispered, sounding for all the world like a teacher lecturing a student, "then we'll have to stop."
Death was too good for him. Bella didn't dare look back at his face, because if she did and saw the insufferable look she knew was there, she would punch him in the jaw -- probably breaking her hand and definitely ending things before they came to their much-needed conclusion. So she released a slow breath and nodded minutely.
"Good girl." Then his hand went back to work, faster this time, his fingers diving in and out of her, curling upwards and rubbing her inner walls, pulling out to circle around her the bundle of nerves that was so desperate for attention, sliding in again, his whole burning hand wet and pushing against her--
Bella came with a sudden jolt, fire shooting up her spine, and Jacob's arm tightened hard around her waist to keep the tell-tale shaking from giving them away. When she bit her lip she tasted blood, but she was absolutely, completely silent. When the shuddering came to a halt, Jacob relaxed his grip on her hips and gently removed his hand, pulling her panties back into place, wiping his fingers on her jeans.
Bella rolled onto her back and met the exact insufferable look she knew would be there. "Hey, honey," Jacob murmured, smirking. The smile slipped from his face when his eyes fell to her bleeding lip. "Oh, Bells, I didn't--"
"You," she interrupted him, her voice a deadly whisper, "are a dead man."
Jacob gulped.
Claire started clapping as Ariel swam around Ursula's cave, making Quil grin in a very un-werewolf-like manner, which sparked Embry and Seth laughing again. Bella turned towards the TV resolutely. "I'm killing you later," she said loftily. "This is my favorite part."
Poor unfortunate souls
Go ahead, make your choice
(As an interesting point of note, it's possible that at one point Leah did, in fact, emerge from the kitchen, only to immediately turn around and return to the refridgerator to resume her search for beer and mutter under her breath about hormonal brats. But if that did happen... Leah would surely never admit to it.)
___
For lilabut and pnai_87 : a really really sad and angsty scene./an argument, a really big fight between Bella and Jacob which leads to a steamy lemon scene.
[well, you people wanted teh angst, so... here's a different turn on Eclipse. i highly recommend listening to Nobody's Side from Chess for this.]
i see my present partner in the imperfect tense and i don't see how we can last / i feel i need a change of cast / maybe I'm on nobody's side
Every time Bella meets Jacob she wonders if it will be the last time. She's not blind. When she stands in the door of his garage, when he rises slowly, wipes his dirty hands on a towel, and turns to face her, she can see it. She can see how he loathes himself, how he's starting to loathe her. Sooner or later -- and she suspects it will be sooner -- he will look at her when she arrives and tell her to go to hell. One of these days he will tell her to get out and never come back.
But that day isn't today.
Jacob strides forward, throws the towel aside, grabs her by the hair and crushes her mouth to his.
i know this can't continue / i've still a lot to prove / there must be more i could achieve / but I don't have the nerve to leave
Bella is different when she comes back from Italy, so different that Jacob is sure that that vampire bastard Changed her with a capital C while she was gone. It's not until he touches her arm and feels the reassuring warmth that he's sure she still has a pulse. She's still alive -- thank God for that -- but she's different. Her skin isn't cold but her eyes are. It scares him, but there's also that little flicker of hope. Maybe if she's different, she'll be thinking differently. Maybe she won't want Cullen anymore. Maybe she'll see how much more he can offer. Cullen can only offer venom. Jacob will offer his heart, his lungs, his limbs, everything he has and everything he can get, if she'll just look at him the way she looks at that bloodsucker.
She never does look at him that way, but he gives her everything he has nonetheless.
everybody's playing the game / but nobody's rules are the same / nobody's on nobody's side
It can't really be called a kiss -- there's too much tongue and teeth and bruising for that -- but she's had kisses, plenty of them, and they don't have the same effect as what Jacob gives her. Edward once called her his 'personal brand of heroin.' Bella thought she understood it at the time. She didn't know then how much she had left to learn.
He has to bend over too far to meet her mouth, and standing on her tiptoes doesn't do much to fix the foot-and-a-half height difference between them. Strong, rough hands grab her by the ass and lift her onto workbench, none-too-gently. He hasn't been gentle with her in a long time. Bella likes him better this way.
Her hands fist into his shirt and pull him closer as she wraps her legs around his waist, the hard length of him easy to feel through his shorts and her underwear. Her skirt has ridden up to her hips. She wears skirts now when she goes to visit him. They destroyed too many pairs of her jeans.
She bites his lower lip, and he groans into her mouth. Jacob is her heroin, and while she may not be a vampire yet, she will drain them both dry to get what she needs.
the one i should not think of keeps rolling through my mind / and i don't want to let that go
After she comes back, after the first visit to confirm she's both alive and Alive, Bella doesn't contact him. Jacob leaves a few messages on her cell phone, a couple of texts, then stops; he wants to call every five minutes until she picks up, but he still has his dignity. If she wants to be with Cullen, then so be it. As long as Cullen doesn't turn her into a marble statue, she can do whatever she wants.
He spends a lot of time as a wolf during this period of time.
Jacob hears things, of course. Charlie isn't happy that Cullen is back, and he talks to Billy about it. Bella is spending all of her time with the leeches. Charlie's not even sure she's going to school. Some nights she doesn't come home. Billy tells Jacob these things, gently, obviously trying to prepare his only son for the first and most painful heartbreak he'll face in his young life. Billy doesn't think Bella's coming back. Deep down, Jacob doesn't think she is, either. But he knows she's still breathing, and as long as she's breathing, there's hope.
Then one day, she appears in the doorway of his garage.
no lover's ever faithful / no contract truly signed / there's nothing certain left to know / and how the cracks begin to show
Jacob's hands are in her hair again, pulling her head back, exposing her neck to his nipping teeth. Her head hurts and her neck hurts and she's so wet she's surprised she doesn't slide right off the bench. She takes the opportunity to unsnap his shorts, then hooks her toes into his waistband and arches her back -- the pants fall to his ankles, and he's not wearing underwear. He must have known she was coming. Or at least suspected.
Bella reaches between them to wrap her hand around his cock, touching him as roughly as he's touching her. He hisses against her throat, and it might be from pain or pleasure, but she's not really sure of the difference anymore. She knows he's not, either. Regardless, she only manages a few strokes before he growls and knocks her hand aside, then he reaches underneath her skirt, pushes the crotch of her panties to the side, and shoves three fingers into her. It burns -- it burns badly -- and she's not sure why, until she realizes his fingers still have motor oil on them. The thought turns her on so much that she nearly comes on the spot.
Edward will smell the oil. He'll smell Jacob all over her. Bella's looking forward to it.
never make a promise or plan / take a little love where you can
"Bells." Jacob's happy that his voice sounds calm and level. Maybe he doesn't feel it, but at least he sounds it. "Long time, no see."
"Yeah." She walks into the garage like she owns it. The way she owns him. "Too long, I think."
"And you're still alive, I see." His voice obeyed him before, so this time he tries to add some belligerance. He fails and only manages petulant.
"I am. For now, anyway." She picks up a hammer from the work bench and inspects it like it's going to reveal the secrets of the universe.
It's never been like this between them. It's never been hard to talk. That was one of the things Jacob loved the most -- that conversation between them was as easy as breathing. But then, she might not be breathing for much longer. "So..." he casts around for something to say, "how was Italy?"
"Awful," she replies. "Absolutely awful."
He blinks -- he hadn't expected that. "Oh."
Finally Bella looks at him, and she is older than he remembers. "The vampires there... they do things. They eat things. People. That's what vampires do, Jacob. They eat people. All of them. Even Edward used to. And I will too, when I change."
"But you don't have to," Jacob says quickly, relief flooding through him at her dark words. She's changed her mind. His prayers are answered. "You don't have to be one of them."
"Yes, Jake. I do." She smiles and there's no humor in it. "I know too much. It's this or death. Not just my death -- everyone's death. My mother and father. Edward. You. Everyone who knows. Everyone who might know. It'll be at the end of the school year, so that I can go off 'backpacking around Europe' and conveniently die in an accident. And that'll be it."
"The Pack can protect you. Or we could go somewhere, we can run--"
"No," she says. "No, we can't. Not from this."
never be the first to believe / never be the last to deceive
They remove their hands from one another just long enough to pull their shirts off, and Bella revels once again at the unbelievable heat of him, the way his chest burns against her breasts. She tries her best to absorb as much of that delicious warmth as she can, before the day comes when she won't be able to feel it anymore. She's taking so much of his heat that he might not have any left for himself by the time she's done.
She reaches up with the intent of tangling her fingers into his hair, but Jacob grabs her wrists before she gets the chance and pins them to the bench behind her, forcing her to lean backward at an angle, body completely exposed aside from the skirt still bunched at her waist. He attacks her breasts, sucking first on one and then the other, biting hard on her nipple when she squirms. It hurts and her head falls back and bumps into the wall, knocking off a few screwdrivers from their hooks. One hits her shoulder and scrapes a long red welt into her skin. She gasps, and Jacob releases her wrists, yanks her hips back to the edge of the bench, and thrusts into her so hard that she can feel herself bruising on the inside.
It's perfect.
never stay a minute too long / don't forget the best will go wrong
When Bella kisses him, her lips are soft, but not as soft as he imagined. It's like there's steel inside her now, and he likes it, but it's also scary. Bella was meant to be soft. Not like this.
"I hate him," she whispers against Jacob's mouth. "He should never have come back. He should have run away the minute he knew he loved me. I hate him and I'm going to spend all eternity with him anyway because where else can I go?" She pulls back, and Jacob doesn't even recognize what's in her eyes. "My life is over."
"No, no, no." He wraps his arms around her and crushes her against his body, trying to absorb her, to protect her. "Don't talk like that, honey. There's got to be a way out of this."
"There isn't. But can you help me with one thing, Jake?"
"Anything," he promises. "Anything."
Bella's hands move between them, to Jacob's belt buckle. "Make me yours instead of his." She undoes the buckle and pushes his jeans off of his hips. "Mark me up." Her palm slides against his cock, which has been erect since the moment her lips met his. "Help me hurt him."
"Bells," he whispers, his stomach turning to lead even as he shivers under her touch. "You want to use me for revenge?"
"Yes." She wraps her hand around him and strokes. Hard. "Please, Jacob. Please do this for me. You're the only one who can."
He groans and presses his lips to hers as something in him dies.
better learn to go it alone / recognize you're out on your own / nobody's on nobody's side
Afterwards, they put their clothes back on in silence. The first few times this happened, Bella tried to think of something to say, something that would make this less horrible, that would take away some of the poison she was leaving in him. She's given up on that now. There's nothing that will make this better. But she can't give it up.
Jacob doesn't look at her. He just turns back to the bike. "I've got a lot of work to do still. I'll see you later, Bella." He doesn't call her 'Bells' anymore.
Bella nods to his back. "Okay. Have a good night." As she walks out of the garage, she thinks this might be it. This might be the last time. Next time she returns, he'll tell her he's done with her, and that'll be it.
Except, if she was being honest with herself, she'd know that will never happen.
Jacob will never tell Bella no.
___
For _argustar and rainey_lane : Either food + Bella + sex = Jacob's Greatest Day Ever, or Bella + masturbation + Jacob catching her in the act = Jacob's Other Greatest Day Ever?/How about college Bella being caught by reading a dirty book at the library when a visiting Jake catches her?
[standard New Moon AU -- Cullens never come back.]
Jacob sat down in Bella's desk chair, opened her laptop, and clicked on the Firefox icon. "What am I looking for, Bells?" he called.
"The Kitchenaid website!" Her voice traveled up the stairs. "See if they have anything about repairs!"
"Okay!" It would be kitchenaid.com, right? He highlighted the web address bar, typed 'K', and... the bar autofilled with the most frequently visited address.
Jacob's eyes widened.
A few minutes later, Bella burst into the room, looking disheveled and extremely put out. Most of her front -- along with her hands, some of her face, and even her hair -- was covered in brownie batter. "I can't believe that thing broke," she said, pulling a towel out of the laundry basket and wiping her face. "Charlie just got it for me, Kitchenaids are supposed to be indestructable... did you find the repair section yet?" She leaned over Jacob's shoulder (he was being suspiciously still and quiet), and saw the computer screen. Saw what he was looking at. And she did the only thing a teenage girl could do in that situation.
She screamed. "You jerk!"
Jacob jumped up, knocking over the chair, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean to--"
"Turn it off! Turn it off!"
"Bells, honestly, it just came up--"
She lunged forward and slammed the laptop shut so hard that something rattled inside, then flopped face down onto the bed. "Get out!" Her voice was muffled. "Go away and don't ever look at me again! And stop smirking!"
How did she know that? Jacob lowered his hands and tried to school his face. "Uh, honey--"
"Don't call me that! Get out!"
"--you do know you're getting brownies all over your sheets, right?"
Bella groaned into the comforter.
He sat down next to her on the bed, doing an admirable job (in his opinion) of not laughing his ass off. Unable to resist, he swiped his index finger along her arm, wiping up a bit of batter, and popped it in his mouth. "This is pretty tasty."
"Shut up."
"No, really, it's good."
"It's got raw egg in it."
"So I might get salmonella?"
"I hope you do."
Jacob swiped a little more batter from the edge of her shoulder. "Hey, it's not my fault you don't delete your browsing history. And I could use a little sympathy here. My innocence is ruined. You've contributed to the corruption of a minor."
"I hate you so much right now."
For a moment he seriously considered licking the last few spots of brownie from the crook of her neck -- where would that take him? Would she roll over for him? Could he kiss the vanilla out of her mouth? Would their skin get sticky from sugar and raw egg as they pulled off their clothes and fell into the batter-covered sheets? -- but thought better of it. She'd probably stab him. So he settled for one last finger swipe against the side of her face and a last little taste of chocolate. "Bells, come on. I know you're embarrassed, but it's not that bad, okay? I swear, once we leave this room, I will never, ever bring it up again."
A long silence, then, "Promise?"
Jacob held up two fingers, not that she could see it. "Scout's honor."
Bella's body heaved with a huge sigh, then she rolled onto her back, forearm still over her eyes. "Okay. But don't look at me for a few hours. I need some time to recover my dignity."
"No problem." Jacob watched as Bella got up off the bed (leaving a brownie splotch behind), and figured it was safe to engage in some mental imagery as long as her back was turned to him--
"Stop that," she said, stalking out of the bedroom.
How did she always know? Unable to resist, Jacob kept one foot inside the room (so as to keep his promise), and called after her, "So, do you have a Catholic school girl uniform?"
"Shut up!"
[no smut, somehow, but... that's just how it worked out! Bella wouldn't cooperate!]
___
Link to the original TATS thread.