Pieces of the Memories (Drabble Set 13)
Title: Pieces of the Memories
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: T
Characters: Swan Family, Black Family, Clearwater Family
Genre: Humor/Angst/Friendship
Warnings: Occasional language.
banner courtesy of lilabut
Summary:
Renee leaves Charlie and Bella. AU drabble series.
( beginning)
Before (Charlie)
Charlie doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he'll wear one.
He smooths down his trousers (he's not going to put on his jacket yet, he's got to be there three hours early to help set up and the last thing he needs is to rip or stain his only suit), makes sure his hair isn't standing up too egregiously, and calls, "Ready, Bella?"
There's no answer.
He frowns, then crosses the hall from his bedroom to hers. He knocks on her closed door. "Bella?"
Nothing.
Seventeen years of raising a girl has taught Charlie to be very, very careful about simply barging in to a room without invitation. There's always a danger of seeing something he's not meant to see and those moments are scarring. So he just barely cracks the door open and peers around the corner, prepared to beat a hasty retreat if necessary.
It's okay. Bella is fully clothed in her black dress, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair up and her head down. She doesn't move as he enters. "Hey, Dad."
"We've gotta get going, kiddo." She's got that Something Wrong look written all over her, and normally he'd try to figure it out, but there's not time. "You've got all that bridesmaid stuff to do and if I don't put those chairs in place Sue'll have my hide."
She shakes her head. Just barely. "I... I don't think..."
He looks down at Bella's hands; she's twisting something between her fingers. A little metal spring. "What's that?"
"Daddy, I can't go," she says in a rush. Now she meets his eyes, and her pale skin is tinged blue from her shallow breaths which are rapidly degenerating into hyperventilation. "I can't go, I can't, I can't do it..."
There's a lot of things Charlie has done wrong as a father, and one of them was to not teach his child how to be brave when she's afraid. He wanted her to be happy and realized later than most that sometimes you have to push a kid through some pain to get them to where they need to be.
But Charlie Swan learns from his mistakes.
"Isabella," he says, "go get in the car. Now."
She shakes her head again, but he holds her gaze levelly.
Bella looks down. And she puts the spring away in her nightstand drawer. "Okay," she whispers.
Charlie pulls his handkerchief out of his pocket and hands it to her. She dabs at the corners of her eyes, and when she returns it he's stunned to see the cotton hasn't turned black. "What on earth are you wearing?"
"No Run Mascara." She smiles -- a small one, but a smile nonetheless. "Rebecca says it's the really fancy stuff."
"Well, that was a good idea." Charlie watches as Bella slides on her heels and checks her hair in the mirror, and in an instant he's absurdly close to needing the handkerchief himself. She looks so grown-up it makes his chest hurt. He's positive she was in a bassinet ten minutes ago.
Bella takes a few very deep breaths, bites her bottom lip, and then nods nervously. "Okay. Let's... let's go."
Charlie resolves that if this is how he feels when she's a bridesmaid, then she is absolutely never allowed to be a bride.
***
During (Billy)
Billy doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he's wearing one.
The ceremony was nice. Old Quil said all the right things, mostly Quileute traditions but with a few of the Christian vows. (At love, honor, and obey Leah and Sue had snorted simultaneously.) Bella cried (so had Charlie), Rachel smiled several times, and neither Jacob nor the groom's little brothers (one sixteen, one twelve) fidgeted too much.
And Rebecca glowed. Which made it annoyingly hard to hate Solomon Finar.
In fact, by the time Solomon had kissed Billy's oldest daughter and grinned with the most blissfully enthralled look, Billy had given up on rooting for a quick divorce.
All things considered... maybe it'll turn out okay after all.
And now he's settled comfortably at a reception table, eating grapes from the centerpiece, keeping his weight off his feet, watching most of the younger population of La Push giggle and dance to what he personally considers to be appallingly bad music but they seem to enjoy.
Charlie picks at the bow on the back of his chair. "What's with the mosquito netting?"
"It's called tulle," Harry says, sipping a glass of champagne.
"What's tulle?"
"That's tulle."
"The mosquito netting?"
"Yes."
Charlie gives Billy a confused look. Billy shrugs. "Damned if I know."
Harry shakes his head, then goes back to watching the crowd. Billy notices how his friend's observant eyes keep turning to Leah. She's tied the hem of her skirt almost up to her waist, and she's dancing with Sam Uley, who's home from college for winter vacation. He whispers something in her ear and she bursts out laughing.
"What do you think of that?" Billy asks bluntly. (Harry's been suspiciously quiet on the subject of Leah's boyfriend, though Sue's been ranting for months about the long-distance charges on their phone bill.)
"Leah seems happy. And Seth thinks it's a good idea. He's got a pretty good feel for these things."
"Uh-huh."
"But if that boy hurts my daughter I'll bury his body in the forest," Harry says mildly.
Both Charlie and Billy turn to look at him at that. Harry just takes another sip of his champagne.
Some Seattle friend of the twins' is dancing with Rachel. Rachel's got her hand on the girl's butt. Billy decides not to mention it until someone tells him what he should say, because whatever he comes up with on his own is bound to go horribly wrong.
Bella was only talking to the girls until Quil Ateara brought her soda and she started to giggle. Jacob was joking with Jared Cameron until Quil brought Bella a soda. He and Charlie's girl haven't spoken to each other all evening.
These kids. Except they're not really kids anymore.
"I don't recall giving anyone permission to grow up," Billy grumbles.
"Just wait. In a few years you might be a grandpa."
"I swear to God, Clearwater, I will shove this cane so far up your ass it'll break your teeth."
"I live with Sue, Billy. I'm immune to threats."
"Hey, guys?" Charlie interrupts. He's looking nervously across the dance floor. "What's with Solomon's mother?"
Billy turns to look. Judy Finar -- early forties, divorced five years, stone-cold fox -- is giving Charlie the eye from the other side of the room. And she's not being shy about it.
"Charlie," says Billy, "I know it's been awhile, but you can't have forgotten what a look like that means."
"Huh?"
"Jesus, Chief Swan. When a man and a woman love each other very much--"
Charlie instantly turns bright red, and as usual, Harry is the one to take pity on him. "Just go on over there. You'll do fine. I talked to her earlier, she's nice."
"And hot," Billy adds.
"Well, yeah-- I mean, she is, but I don't-- I haven't--"
Harry reaches over and pats Charlie's back. "Do you want me to have Sue talk to her for you?"
"No. We're not in high school anymore--"
"Exactly," Billy says firmly. "So man up."
Charlie glances back across the room at Judy. She smiles openly and gives him a little finger wave. "I... okay." And then Charlie finishes his champagne in one gulp, straightens his tie, and walks off like he's heading to his execution.
Billy glances at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "I haven't had time to talk to her. She really is nice, right?"
"Oh, yeah. She'll treat him just fine."
"Good. No more bitches."
"What do you take me for?"
"I take you for the guy who just called me a grandpa."
A slightly slurred voice interrupts: "I swear, you two bicker so much sometimes I forget I'm the one married to you, baby." Sue wraps her arms around Harry from behind, then leans down over the chair to kiss the side of his neck.
"Enjoying the champagne?" Harry's having a hard time keeping the smirk off his face.
"Mm-hmm. C'mon, let's get out of here."
Billy shakes his head. "You know there's about two hours left of this party, right?"
"Yes." Sue shoots Billy an evil, slightly drunken look. "Not that it's any of your business, but there's a perfectly decent coat closet right out in the hallway--"
"Forget I asked."
Harry allows himself to be pulled out of his chair and gives Billy a What can you do shrug. "Duty calls."
"Sure, sure."
On the other side of the room, Judy laughs at something Charlie has said, and he blushes and smiles in response. Seth is effortlessly flirting with one of the Littlesea girls. The little candles on the tables are keeping things bright even though it's after ten o'clock.
Sarah would have loved this.
And then Rebecca's standing in front of him, holding out her hand. Her dress is pinned up and she's smiling as happily as he's ever seen her. "Ready?"
"You bet." It takes a creaky moment, but Billy stands up and leads Beck out to the floor, because, after all, that's why he's been staying off his feet all day. He is damn well going to dance with his daughter at her wedding.
***
After (Jacob)
Jacob doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he wore one.
But there's no rule saying he has to keep wearing the tie. Rach'an'Beck assured him repeatedly that he didn't look like an idiot, but Jacob's really not a tuxedo sort of person. At all. If he ever gets married, he's doing it on the beach in shorts. Even if it's the middle of winter. (Jacob doesn't get cold very easily.)
The clothes are uncomfortable but the party's fun. Lots of food, lots of music, and the mosquito netting wound up looking kinda pretty in a weird mosquito-netting kind of way. He and Leah aren't actively fighting anymore (he apologized for calling her a bitch, she apologized for punching him, and while they're both still kinda pissed they're leaving it at that). Neither of his sisters have given him a noogie, which somehow they're still able to do even though he's four inches taller.
But Bella's here.
Bella's here.
If his father wouldn't kick his butt into next Tuesday, Jacob would be drinking a lot of champagne right now. As it stands he's a little worried that his heart is going to pound out of his chest.
He'd told himself right up until the ceremony began that Bella wouldn't show. Then when she did he reminded himself that she came for Rach'an'Beck. She wouldn't have come for him. (In the back of his mind he knows he's being unfair. But he spent the spring of his ninth year jumping up whenever he heard a car pass by the house only to be disappointed every time. Eventually you learn to stop hoping.)
She didn't come over to him when the reception started. He was generally feeling content to just watch her out of the corner of his eye while having a good time, and that was going fine until Quil brought her a soda and started saying stuff that made her giggle.
Jacob doesn't mind that Quil made her giggle. It's that Quil made her giggle while he, Jacob, had made her cry.
He has to talk to her.
He waits until the party is winding down before he makes his way to where she's hunting the last few strawberries out of a bowl of fruit salad. "Hey, Bella?"
She jumps, then stares up with huge brown eyes.
"I... um..." His words falter a little, but is he man or mouse? "I'm gonna go home and change. This shirt itches a ton."
"Oh." Her teeth nibble at her lower lip. "Okay."
He hopes he comes across a lot cooler than he feels as he says, "Will you walk with me?"
Even in the candlelight of the hall he can see her face tint pink... but after a long moment, she nods.
He gives her his suit jacket so she doesn't get cold.
They don't say anything during the five blocks between the rec center and his house. Luckily, being a lot taller now means he can look at her without her seeing him look.
It's weird, that she's shorter than him. She's a new Bella now, not the skinny girl in his living room who squished next to him on the couch while they watched movies until you couldn't tell where one of them ended and the other began. Now she's different. He noticed that before, of course, at her house and at the craft store and especially when she hugged him, but now... the black dress she's wearing makes the differences really obvious.
He doesn't know this Bella.
He wants to.
Jacob's very happy when he unlocks the front door without dropping the keys, given that his hands are shaking with nerves. He's already coming across as the most hopeless sort of geek and that would've just been the icing on the cake. "Sorry the house is a mess. We kinda let it slide and there's all this ribbon and crap everywhere, plus we've been living off frozen pizza for like six days, Dad too but I did find some of that gluten-free stuff at least." He opens up and flips on the overhead light and wishes he had time to at least pick up the paper plates. Too late now.
He glances over his shoulder. Bella has paused at the bottom of the porch. She's shivering.
Jacob frowns. "It's warmer inside, Bells. Come on."
As she climbs the steps her knuckles turn white on the railing.
"Right." He kicks aside a box full of invitation cardstock and makes a beeline for his bedroom. "I'm just gonna change. Be out in a minute."
"Okay."
Jacob is careful undressing. The shirt is his but the rest -- the vest, the tie, the pants, the shoes -- are all rented, and if anything happened to them Beck will kill him stone dead. Plus, it's a good idea to take his time since he doesn't know what he's going to say and he's never wanted to get something right so much in his life.
Even if you thought I didn't want to see you, didn't you want to see me? Or is Mom the only one that mattered to you? You talked to Rach'an'Beck at the diner, you talked to Dad at your house, why didn't you ask for me? Didn't you miss me? Can you at least tell me you missed me?
So, yeah. I know we haven't seen each other in forever and there was a bunch of misunderstandings. That's cool. I mean, you've got lots of other friends, and I've got lots of other friends, so we probably wouldn't have had much time for each other anyway. But Resident Evil's coming out in a few months, so if you felt like coming over to play with the rest of us, that'd be fine. Or whatever.
Remember when I told you I'd build a house in the backyard for us? There would be shelves in the wall for my collections and I'd make sure there'd be lots of closets and sneaky places for you to hide when you needed to and there'd be space to build on rooms if we had babies but I know you're not sure you want those so we could always just turn the space into a kennel instead because dogs would be nice too. I was thinking dalmatians. I've still got the design around here somewhere, want to look? It's in crayon but it's not too hard to read.
I don't believe you thought I hated you. I don't believe you. You can't have thought that. Even though Leah said all that stuff you can't have thought it. You had to have known me better than that, so it's got to be some sort of excuse. I know it is.
Your dad didn't bake all those cookies, did he.
"Hey, Bells? I'm... uh, I'm really sorry I yelled at you before. I felt bad about it later, if that helps. The whole thing's pretty screwed up, but I think... I still kinda miss you a lot. So if we could just maybe, I don't know... start over, or something... that would be good, I think. Not start over all the way. Just a little. And we don't have to be best friends again or anything, but... yeah."
Jacob's really glad he's not standing in front of Bella right now, because the shame at his own incoherent dweebiness has turned his face flaming hot. Luckily, he knows from hard experience that every word said in his bedroom can be heard in the living room. "Does that sound okay? I mean, does that sound like something we could do?"
When he doesn't hear a response a stone settles into the pit of his stomach, and he takes an extra few seconds to pull on his jeans, because those extra few seconds are an extra few seconds he doesn't have to know that she's gotten up and left again.
But she's there when he comes back into the living room. She's still there. She's sitting on the arm of the couch -- the ancient one they've never replaced -- and she's crying so hard her sobs are soundless. It's when he sees how her fingers are digging into the faded upholstery that he gets it.
Jacob said goodbye to his mother a long time ago. Bella never did.
He steps forward and wraps his arms tight around her shaking body, because loving Bella Swan is part of being Jacob Black.
"I miss her," she sobs into his chest. She's let go of the sofa and her fingers have fisted into his shirt. "I missed Rach and Beck and Leah and Seth and I missed you so, so much, Jake, I missed you--"
Jacob bends down and kisses her. A few times. Little ones that only last a half-second apiece. He doesn't even have to think about it. He learned a long time ago his kisses make Bella stop crying.
But then when he starts to pull back her lips follow his. And the last kiss stops being childish.
When it finally ends they're both blushing, and Jacob has no idea what to say. He feels like he did drink the champagne after all. "I... uh..."
"You want to start over," she blurts out. Her lashes are wet but her makeup hasn't run; that's got to be Rach'an'Beck's doing. "And I... um..." She grasps his forearms, and then she's slowly steering his hands from her lower back to rest at her waist instead. "I'd like that. If... if you'd like that."
Jacob can't move for a long moment, but when he does, it's to rub his thumb gently against the fabric of her dress. He can feel the curve of her hip. It's part of the new Bella he wants to get to know. Badly. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I think I would."
Jacob doesn't think Bella's perfect anymore. But when their lips meet again, he thinks this might be.
***
Epilogue
And while happiness is a strange and flowing thing, they all lived ever after.
the end.
***
A/N: Thanks, guys.
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: T
Characters: Swan Family, Black Family, Clearwater Family
Genre: Humor/Angst/Friendship
Warnings: Occasional language.
banner courtesy of lilabut
Summary:
Renee leaves Charlie and Bella. AU drabble series.
( beginning)
Before (Charlie)
Charlie doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he'll wear one.
He smooths down his trousers (he's not going to put on his jacket yet, he's got to be there three hours early to help set up and the last thing he needs is to rip or stain his only suit), makes sure his hair isn't standing up too egregiously, and calls, "Ready, Bella?"
There's no answer.
He frowns, then crosses the hall from his bedroom to hers. He knocks on her closed door. "Bella?"
Nothing.
Seventeen years of raising a girl has taught Charlie to be very, very careful about simply barging in to a room without invitation. There's always a danger of seeing something he's not meant to see and those moments are scarring. So he just barely cracks the door open and peers around the corner, prepared to beat a hasty retreat if necessary.
It's okay. Bella is fully clothed in her black dress, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair up and her head down. She doesn't move as he enters. "Hey, Dad."
"We've gotta get going, kiddo." She's got that Something Wrong look written all over her, and normally he'd try to figure it out, but there's not time. "You've got all that bridesmaid stuff to do and if I don't put those chairs in place Sue'll have my hide."
She shakes her head. Just barely. "I... I don't think..."
He looks down at Bella's hands; she's twisting something between her fingers. A little metal spring. "What's that?"
"Daddy, I can't go," she says in a rush. Now she meets his eyes, and her pale skin is tinged blue from her shallow breaths which are rapidly degenerating into hyperventilation. "I can't go, I can't, I can't do it..."
There's a lot of things Charlie has done wrong as a father, and one of them was to not teach his child how to be brave when she's afraid. He wanted her to be happy and realized later than most that sometimes you have to push a kid through some pain to get them to where they need to be.
But Charlie Swan learns from his mistakes.
"Isabella," he says, "go get in the car. Now."
She shakes her head again, but he holds her gaze levelly.
Bella looks down. And she puts the spring away in her nightstand drawer. "Okay," she whispers.
Charlie pulls his handkerchief out of his pocket and hands it to her. She dabs at the corners of her eyes, and when she returns it he's stunned to see the cotton hasn't turned black. "What on earth are you wearing?"
"No Run Mascara." She smiles -- a small one, but a smile nonetheless. "Rebecca says it's the really fancy stuff."
"Well, that was a good idea." Charlie watches as Bella slides on her heels and checks her hair in the mirror, and in an instant he's absurdly close to needing the handkerchief himself. She looks so grown-up it makes his chest hurt. He's positive she was in a bassinet ten minutes ago.
Bella takes a few very deep breaths, bites her bottom lip, and then nods nervously. "Okay. Let's... let's go."
Charlie resolves that if this is how he feels when she's a bridesmaid, then she is absolutely never allowed to be a bride.
***
During (Billy)
Billy doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he's wearing one.
The ceremony was nice. Old Quil said all the right things, mostly Quileute traditions but with a few of the Christian vows. (At love, honor, and obey Leah and Sue had snorted simultaneously.) Bella cried (so had Charlie), Rachel smiled several times, and neither Jacob nor the groom's little brothers (one sixteen, one twelve) fidgeted too much.
And Rebecca glowed. Which made it annoyingly hard to hate Solomon Finar.
In fact, by the time Solomon had kissed Billy's oldest daughter and grinned with the most blissfully enthralled look, Billy had given up on rooting for a quick divorce.
All things considered... maybe it'll turn out okay after all.
And now he's settled comfortably at a reception table, eating grapes from the centerpiece, keeping his weight off his feet, watching most of the younger population of La Push giggle and dance to what he personally considers to be appallingly bad music but they seem to enjoy.
Charlie picks at the bow on the back of his chair. "What's with the mosquito netting?"
"It's called tulle," Harry says, sipping a glass of champagne.
"What's tulle?"
"That's tulle."
"The mosquito netting?"
"Yes."
Charlie gives Billy a confused look. Billy shrugs. "Damned if I know."
Harry shakes his head, then goes back to watching the crowd. Billy notices how his friend's observant eyes keep turning to Leah. She's tied the hem of her skirt almost up to her waist, and she's dancing with Sam Uley, who's home from college for winter vacation. He whispers something in her ear and she bursts out laughing.
"What do you think of that?" Billy asks bluntly. (Harry's been suspiciously quiet on the subject of Leah's boyfriend, though Sue's been ranting for months about the long-distance charges on their phone bill.)
"Leah seems happy. And Seth thinks it's a good idea. He's got a pretty good feel for these things."
"Uh-huh."
"But if that boy hurts my daughter I'll bury his body in the forest," Harry says mildly.
Both Charlie and Billy turn to look at him at that. Harry just takes another sip of his champagne.
Some Seattle friend of the twins' is dancing with Rachel. Rachel's got her hand on the girl's butt. Billy decides not to mention it until someone tells him what he should say, because whatever he comes up with on his own is bound to go horribly wrong.
Bella was only talking to the girls until Quil Ateara brought her soda and she started to giggle. Jacob was joking with Jared Cameron until Quil brought Bella a soda. He and Charlie's girl haven't spoken to each other all evening.
These kids. Except they're not really kids anymore.
"I don't recall giving anyone permission to grow up," Billy grumbles.
"Just wait. In a few years you might be a grandpa."
"I swear to God, Clearwater, I will shove this cane so far up your ass it'll break your teeth."
"I live with Sue, Billy. I'm immune to threats."
"Hey, guys?" Charlie interrupts. He's looking nervously across the dance floor. "What's with Solomon's mother?"
Billy turns to look. Judy Finar -- early forties, divorced five years, stone-cold fox -- is giving Charlie the eye from the other side of the room. And she's not being shy about it.
"Charlie," says Billy, "I know it's been awhile, but you can't have forgotten what a look like that means."
"Huh?"
"Jesus, Chief Swan. When a man and a woman love each other very much--"
Charlie instantly turns bright red, and as usual, Harry is the one to take pity on him. "Just go on over there. You'll do fine. I talked to her earlier, she's nice."
"And hot," Billy adds.
"Well, yeah-- I mean, she is, but I don't-- I haven't--"
Harry reaches over and pats Charlie's back. "Do you want me to have Sue talk to her for you?"
"No. We're not in high school anymore--"
"Exactly," Billy says firmly. "So man up."
Charlie glances back across the room at Judy. She smiles openly and gives him a little finger wave. "I... okay." And then Charlie finishes his champagne in one gulp, straightens his tie, and walks off like he's heading to his execution.
Billy glances at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "I haven't had time to talk to her. She really is nice, right?"
"Oh, yeah. She'll treat him just fine."
"Good. No more bitches."
"What do you take me for?"
"I take you for the guy who just called me a grandpa."
A slightly slurred voice interrupts: "I swear, you two bicker so much sometimes I forget I'm the one married to you, baby." Sue wraps her arms around Harry from behind, then leans down over the chair to kiss the side of his neck.
"Enjoying the champagne?" Harry's having a hard time keeping the smirk off his face.
"Mm-hmm. C'mon, let's get out of here."
Billy shakes his head. "You know there's about two hours left of this party, right?"
"Yes." Sue shoots Billy an evil, slightly drunken look. "Not that it's any of your business, but there's a perfectly decent coat closet right out in the hallway--"
"Forget I asked."
Harry allows himself to be pulled out of his chair and gives Billy a What can you do shrug. "Duty calls."
"Sure, sure."
On the other side of the room, Judy laughs at something Charlie has said, and he blushes and smiles in response. Seth is effortlessly flirting with one of the Littlesea girls. The little candles on the tables are keeping things bright even though it's after ten o'clock.
Sarah would have loved this.
And then Rebecca's standing in front of him, holding out her hand. Her dress is pinned up and she's smiling as happily as he's ever seen her. "Ready?"
"You bet." It takes a creaky moment, but Billy stands up and leads Beck out to the floor, because, after all, that's why he's been staying off his feet all day. He is damn well going to dance with his daughter at her wedding.
***
After (Jacob)
Jacob doesn't like neckties. But it's Rebecca's wedding day, so he wore one.
But there's no rule saying he has to keep wearing the tie. Rach'an'Beck assured him repeatedly that he didn't look like an idiot, but Jacob's really not a tuxedo sort of person. At all. If he ever gets married, he's doing it on the beach in shorts. Even if it's the middle of winter. (Jacob doesn't get cold very easily.)
The clothes are uncomfortable but the party's fun. Lots of food, lots of music, and the mosquito netting wound up looking kinda pretty in a weird mosquito-netting kind of way. He and Leah aren't actively fighting anymore (he apologized for calling her a bitch, she apologized for punching him, and while they're both still kinda pissed they're leaving it at that). Neither of his sisters have given him a noogie, which somehow they're still able to do even though he's four inches taller.
But Bella's here.
Bella's here.
If his father wouldn't kick his butt into next Tuesday, Jacob would be drinking a lot of champagne right now. As it stands he's a little worried that his heart is going to pound out of his chest.
He'd told himself right up until the ceremony began that Bella wouldn't show. Then when she did he reminded himself that she came for Rach'an'Beck. She wouldn't have come for him. (In the back of his mind he knows he's being unfair. But he spent the spring of his ninth year jumping up whenever he heard a car pass by the house only to be disappointed every time. Eventually you learn to stop hoping.)
She didn't come over to him when the reception started. He was generally feeling content to just watch her out of the corner of his eye while having a good time, and that was going fine until Quil brought her a soda and started saying stuff that made her giggle.
Jacob doesn't mind that Quil made her giggle. It's that Quil made her giggle while he, Jacob, had made her cry.
He has to talk to her.
He waits until the party is winding down before he makes his way to where she's hunting the last few strawberries out of a bowl of fruit salad. "Hey, Bella?"
She jumps, then stares up with huge brown eyes.
"I... um..." His words falter a little, but is he man or mouse? "I'm gonna go home and change. This shirt itches a ton."
"Oh." Her teeth nibble at her lower lip. "Okay."
He hopes he comes across a lot cooler than he feels as he says, "Will you walk with me?"
Even in the candlelight of the hall he can see her face tint pink... but after a long moment, she nods.
He gives her his suit jacket so she doesn't get cold.
They don't say anything during the five blocks between the rec center and his house. Luckily, being a lot taller now means he can look at her without her seeing him look.
It's weird, that she's shorter than him. She's a new Bella now, not the skinny girl in his living room who squished next to him on the couch while they watched movies until you couldn't tell where one of them ended and the other began. Now she's different. He noticed that before, of course, at her house and at the craft store and especially when she hugged him, but now... the black dress she's wearing makes the differences really obvious.
He doesn't know this Bella.
He wants to.
Jacob's very happy when he unlocks the front door without dropping the keys, given that his hands are shaking with nerves. He's already coming across as the most hopeless sort of geek and that would've just been the icing on the cake. "Sorry the house is a mess. We kinda let it slide and there's all this ribbon and crap everywhere, plus we've been living off frozen pizza for like six days, Dad too but I did find some of that gluten-free stuff at least." He opens up and flips on the overhead light and wishes he had time to at least pick up the paper plates. Too late now.
He glances over his shoulder. Bella has paused at the bottom of the porch. She's shivering.
Jacob frowns. "It's warmer inside, Bells. Come on."
As she climbs the steps her knuckles turn white on the railing.
"Right." He kicks aside a box full of invitation cardstock and makes a beeline for his bedroom. "I'm just gonna change. Be out in a minute."
"Okay."
Jacob is careful undressing. The shirt is his but the rest -- the vest, the tie, the pants, the shoes -- are all rented, and if anything happened to them Beck will kill him stone dead. Plus, it's a good idea to take his time since he doesn't know what he's going to say and he's never wanted to get something right so much in his life.
Even if you thought I didn't want to see you, didn't you want to see me? Or is Mom the only one that mattered to you? You talked to Rach'an'Beck at the diner, you talked to Dad at your house, why didn't you ask for me? Didn't you miss me? Can you at least tell me you missed me?
So, yeah. I know we haven't seen each other in forever and there was a bunch of misunderstandings. That's cool. I mean, you've got lots of other friends, and I've got lots of other friends, so we probably wouldn't have had much time for each other anyway. But Resident Evil's coming out in a few months, so if you felt like coming over to play with the rest of us, that'd be fine. Or whatever.
Remember when I told you I'd build a house in the backyard for us? There would be shelves in the wall for my collections and I'd make sure there'd be lots of closets and sneaky places for you to hide when you needed to and there'd be space to build on rooms if we had babies but I know you're not sure you want those so we could always just turn the space into a kennel instead because dogs would be nice too. I was thinking dalmatians. I've still got the design around here somewhere, want to look? It's in crayon but it's not too hard to read.
I don't believe you thought I hated you. I don't believe you. You can't have thought that. Even though Leah said all that stuff you can't have thought it. You had to have known me better than that, so it's got to be some sort of excuse. I know it is.
Your dad didn't bake all those cookies, did he.
"Hey, Bells? I'm... uh, I'm really sorry I yelled at you before. I felt bad about it later, if that helps. The whole thing's pretty screwed up, but I think... I still kinda miss you a lot. So if we could just maybe, I don't know... start over, or something... that would be good, I think. Not start over all the way. Just a little. And we don't have to be best friends again or anything, but... yeah."
Jacob's really glad he's not standing in front of Bella right now, because the shame at his own incoherent dweebiness has turned his face flaming hot. Luckily, he knows from hard experience that every word said in his bedroom can be heard in the living room. "Does that sound okay? I mean, does that sound like something we could do?"
When he doesn't hear a response a stone settles into the pit of his stomach, and he takes an extra few seconds to pull on his jeans, because those extra few seconds are an extra few seconds he doesn't have to know that she's gotten up and left again.
But she's there when he comes back into the living room. She's still there. She's sitting on the arm of the couch -- the ancient one they've never replaced -- and she's crying so hard her sobs are soundless. It's when he sees how her fingers are digging into the faded upholstery that he gets it.
Jacob said goodbye to his mother a long time ago. Bella never did.
He steps forward and wraps his arms tight around her shaking body, because loving Bella Swan is part of being Jacob Black.
"I miss her," she sobs into his chest. She's let go of the sofa and her fingers have fisted into his shirt. "I missed Rach and Beck and Leah and Seth and I missed you so, so much, Jake, I missed you--"
Jacob bends down and kisses her. A few times. Little ones that only last a half-second apiece. He doesn't even have to think about it. He learned a long time ago his kisses make Bella stop crying.
But then when he starts to pull back her lips follow his. And the last kiss stops being childish.
When it finally ends they're both blushing, and Jacob has no idea what to say. He feels like he did drink the champagne after all. "I... uh..."
"You want to start over," she blurts out. Her lashes are wet but her makeup hasn't run; that's got to be Rach'an'Beck's doing. "And I... um..." She grasps his forearms, and then she's slowly steering his hands from her lower back to rest at her waist instead. "I'd like that. If... if you'd like that."
Jacob can't move for a long moment, but when he does, it's to rub his thumb gently against the fabric of her dress. He can feel the curve of her hip. It's part of the new Bella he wants to get to know. Badly. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I think I would."
Jacob doesn't think Bella's perfect anymore. But when their lips meet again, he thinks this might be.
***
Epilogue
And while happiness is a strange and flowing thing, they all lived ever after.
the end.
***
A/N: Thanks, guys.