Fell Through The Ice -- Charlie Drabbles

[audreyii_fic]

Title: Fell Through The Ice (Incomplete Charlie Drabbles)
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Swan Family, Black Family, Clearwater Family
Genre: Humor/Angst
Warnings: Language. Heartfail.

Summary:
Thoughts on Charlie's life.

Notes:
The Twilight Illustrated Guide comes out today (coinciding with the sinking of the

Comments

May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

As the sun sets on the day of the funeral, after the last guests have gotten into their cars and pulled away, you realize you haven't seen Jacob in several hours. You check in Billy's room, where he is lying on his bed, still in his suit, Harry next to him holding his hand. Is Jake in here? you mouth, and Harry shakes his head silently in response. In the hallway you can hear the noisy sobbing of the twins through their thin door.

It's a testiment to how long the day has been that it takes you a full three minutes to think to check the garage.

You knock hesitently on the open door, not wanting to spook the kid. He's sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor with what looks like every tool in the garage spread out neatly in front of him. You watch as he picks up one of the smaller socket wrenches and cleans it carefully with an oily rag.

"Hey, Jacob," you say. "You wanna come inside?"

He shakes his head silently.

You don't have much experience with this fathering thing, so you'll have to wing it. You come in and crouch in front of the boy. He doesn't look up. "C'mon, Jake, it's really cold out here. Mrs. Clearwater left some soup on the stove, do you want some soup?"

"No. I have to finish this."

You glance down at the wrenches. They're gleaming under the bare bulb that lights the garage. "They look pretty good to me." When Jacob shakes his head again you wonder if maybe you should just pick him up and take him inside, but he's too old for that. Instead you ask, "Why are you doing this right now?"

The kid's little fingers move against the grooves of the metal, obsessively rubbing his cloth against the same spot over and over. "I didn't fix the car right."

"What?"

"I didn't fix the car right," he says again. "Dad let me help. I didn't do it right. Mom's dead."

"Oh," you say, because that's all that you can say, just oh.

He rubs the wrench harder as he mutters, "I'll fix it right this time."

"Jake, the station wagon's gone." (It had to be loaded onto the flatbed in pieces after being cut away from the tree.) "I'm sorry, son, but it can't be fixed."

"Yes it can. Just get them to tow it here. I can fix it. I won't mess up again."

You want to cry, but you're sure as hell not going to it lose it in front of a ten year old who's just buried his mother. "Jake, you didn't mess up. There wasn't anything wrong with the car, it was just a wet road, it's not anyone's fault--"

"I can fix it!" Jacob's shriek comes out of nowhere and echoes off the tin walls. "I can fix it! I can!"

In that moment you decide that ten isn't too old to be picked up after all, and you lift the kid into your arms and carry him back to the house, away from his tools. He fights you every step of the way.

That night you try to call Renee and Bella, but no one picks up.

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[lsjcandy]

OH I REMEMBER THIS ALL TOO WELL, you gave us a teaser. Looooong ago.

I have this feeling I'm gonna need fluff after this.

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

I did, yeah :-\ Back then I thought I'd finish.

There's always the garage!smut fluff from day before yesterday ;)

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[lsjcandy]

*wiggles eyebrows* Yeah...

And Anna has posted some stuff...

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[lulu_honey]

This, this right here, is why I can't stand Meyer. I don't even know, maybe she thought all the vampires were just so damn special that they all needed to soliloquize for a million pages so that they could have backstory. The other characters, the ones she obviously didn't feel were as important, were left little snippets here and there. I think this had the opposite effect of what she was aiming for; her precious vampixies come off as cookie-cutter, stunted and cliched. Piecing things together is a way more organic way to build a story and it leaves Jacob and the rest of those secondary characters feeling more life-like and well formed. What you've done here is basically line up things that we've learned from canon (Sarah's car crash and Jake's near obsession for fixing things) and presented them in a more organic way. You also have a knack for trusting your readers to have half a brain and figure things out for themselves. When ever Meyer tried to do that I always over-thought it when what she had concocted was predictable and stupidly simple. Wow. Sorry for talking your ear off.

/rant

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

No, I totally understand. There's such a thing as overdeveloping -- telling instead of showing, etc -- and Meyer's a particularly egregious offender. For those reasons we should probably be happy that she didn't feel the wolves were interesting enough to develop; if she had, they would have sucked.

Organic was never Meyer's strength. She's more like partially hydrogenated corn syrup.

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[ronjacobfan]

And I'm crying even harder.

How can you do this to my Jacob&Charlie-loving heart? A ten year old sweetheart feeling like he was the one who caused his mother to die is found by a man who has lost his only family.

That night you try to call Renee and Bella, but no one picks up.

My heart hurts.

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

It hurt me to write, if that helps. It's how Jacob makes sense to me, though.

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

*pat*

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[daintress]

Oh gosh. That's heart-wrenching. It would explain why he's so obsessive with projects, too. *sigh*

Re: May 2000, Part 2

[audreyii_fic]

There aren't enough snorgles in the world.