LJ Idol Exhibit A-To my children
You all came to see us today.
I opened the door and there you were, our kids, YOUR kids, the spouses...who's dog is that? Just dropping in to say hello you say, making sure we're okay. We’re okay, really, we keep telling you that but you don’t believe us. Old mom and dad, they can’t get along all by themselves.
I have to admit, the house has been pretty quiet lately.
One by one you hug me (“hug my neck” my dad used to say) and kiss my cheeks. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together, not since…well now…it’s hard for me to remember the last time…
The grandkids dance around my feet. They make me laugh they’re so excited to see us. They want to look at the pictures, always the pictures. I’m not so sure I can handle those pictures right now, they always make me nostalgic. But we get this chance so rarely now…I can’t say no. Mike volunteers to bring the rubber tubs down from the attic without me even having to ask; I always thought he’d make a good husband, Lacy. I’m so glad I was right.
The grandkids sit on the sofa with me one by one as I pull the first album onto my lap. They look so much like all of you. Andy’s big blue eyes look at me from his son’s face, Lacy’s red curls bounce around her daughter’s shoulders, the twins laugh Melody’s laugh, Mary’s little girl smiles just like Mary…your dad’s smile. I look over at Bill and see laughter dancing in his hazel eyes. He urges me to start, I was always the storyteller and he’s just as excited as the grandkids. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. They’re waiting for me to begin.
I open to the first page.
No matter how often we look at the pictures or how many times you hear me tell the stories behind them it’s always the first time again. As I turn the pages and tell your children the stories of your lives once more the memories take me back. They fall on me like rain, each one splashing against my skin as a cool reminder of days gone by. But they bring with them the first genuine smile I’ve felt for weeks.
I remember…
“Mary, this is the first time you held my hand. You put your small hand in mine and looked at me with so much trust. Because of you I felt like there was nothing I couldn’t do. I was so young, so afraid, but I was brave because of you.”
“Oh Lacy, here’s your kindergarten graduation. You wore your Pippi Longstocking braids that day and your paper cap kept slipping down over your eyes. We were both so proud. Do you see the bandage on your arm? Remember how you burned yourself on the barbecue grill right before the ceremony? You were so upset and it hurt so much, but you were so brave at the hospital. And all during your graduation you showed off your clean white wrap and proudly told everyone how the doctor said you were the bravest girl ever.”
“There’s the day that Melody poured a whole jar of Vaseline over her head. By the time we caught you it had run down your face in thick, clear globs. Oh my goodness it took us AGES to get the grease from your beautiful blonde hair! To this day I still believe that’s why your hair is so shiny.”
“Andy do you remember the time you came running into our room screaming “THERE’S FIRE IN THE SKY, THERE’S FIRE IN THE SKY!!” and we grabbed everyone and ran outside thinking the house was on fire? Then we realized that it was just the first time that you’d noticed the sunrise. We laughed and laughed and you just couldn’t understand what was so funny.”
“This is the time we all dressed up as “nature” for Halloween. Mary was a sunflower, Lacy was a “lacybug”, Melody was a rose, Andy was a peapod, I was Mother Nature and your Dad was Father Time. Stop laughing at me now. Yes I did look a little like a hippie flower child but that was the point!”
“That was the Christmas that we fooled Lacy into eating a vomit flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bean. You made the best icky face! Yes sweetie, your mom hates jelly beans now but you have to admit it was funny.”
“When I took Mary and Lacy for sushi for the first time, you BOTH made that icky face! No that restaurant isn’t open anymore but for years every time I went in there the owners made icky faces at me and started cracking up.”
We’re all laughing together but I find myself pausing at the next pictures. The memories start to get a little more serious…
“This is the day that Mary told us she was gay. You were so afraid we’d reject you, and so surprised when you realized we already knew. You hid your face in a pillow as you told us, we told you to never hide your face again and always hold your head up proudly no matter what anyone else thinks. We call this picture “coming out of the closet day”. I only hope we gave you as much courage that day as you gave to me the first time you put your hand in mine.”
“Here is the day that Lacy left for college. You almost didn’t go remember? You were so sure you weren’t going to make it; I had to convince you over and over that you could do it. You not only did it but you exceeded every single expectation we had. When you graduated with honors we framed that picture of you in your first empty dorm room and I chuckle every time I see it hanging in your living room.”
“Melody this is your first professional singing performance. You said it was just a little show but there were over 500 people! I remember how proud you were when you showed us that paycheck. It wasn’t much you said but it meant that you were on your way. I hope I didn’t embarrass you when I stood on my seat and screamed “Bravo!”. I don’t know if I told you that your dad still keeps our tickets in his wallet, he’s not the type to say it a lot but he is so very proud of you.”
I touch the photo of Andrew in his marine uniform. “It doesn’t seem real to see you in this picture and see you standing in front of me, your arm around your sweet wife. We’ve been through so much together you and I. Do you remember the fight we had on the day you left for basic? I said so many things that I wish I could take back, what I really meant was “I love you” and “I’m afraid you’re going to die”.”
So many pictures, so many pieces of our lives. The grandkids want to watch the videos next and we giggle as we watch you kids (husbands, wives and parents now) dance to “Rock Lobster” in the backyard, your first concerts, birthday parties, trips to the zoo and, my favorite, the time I filmed you all singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” without you knowing it.
There’s one more video to watch and you all look at me to see if it’s alright. I turn to Bill and see his eyes shining. I nod as he takes my hand and catch my breath as I watch your dad and I say our wedding vows. The tears come as we get to the part when the butterfly lands on each of us, surprising us both and telling us that this was right, this was true.
When we’re done there’s silence for a moment, broken by Andy’s little boy hollering “THAT WAS ABO!!” and everyone laughing with relief. He jumps into “Abo’s” arms; Bill chucks him under the chin and ruffles his hair.
The stories of our lives. We watched you grow, we watched you change and one by one you spread your wings and flew. And, as you should, you took your own pictures, made your own memories, started your own stories.
God how I miss you all so much.
You’re all going to dinner and you want us to come but we say no. This is your time now; ours is fading away, we’re vintage photos now, old memories. We should stay behind. I start to pack away the photo albums…
I feel a small hand in mine.
Mary’s daughter looks at me with so much trust, “Please Oma, please come to dinner.” I smile; another memory blooms in front of me, its perfume the sweetest of them all. I look up at Lacy. “Do you remember the one night I drove you home from the train station and we had our first “serious” talk? You admitted to me that you and Mike were getting “really serious”. We started joking about weddings and grandchildren and tried to figure out “cool grandma names” for me because, of course, I would in fact be a "cool grandma". You settled on Oma (Oh Ma!) and promised me that all the grandkids would call me that one day.” I look back at Mary’s daughter, with Mary’s smile, Bill’s smile. “How did you talk the other kids into that?”
You smile Lacy, that crooked little smile that everyone says is mine. You walk over and hug me quick and tight, the way you did when you were a very little girl. “I just told them how much you laughed and smiled when I said “How about Oma?”. Mom, do you remember what you said?” I shake my head. “You said, “Now THAT is a cool grandma name. Reminds me of when you guys were little, saying Oh Ma this and Oh Ma that.” Once I told them that, well, Oma it had to be.”
I laugh as I look around the room at all of you. My tall handsome son, my beautiful daughters, my happy, healthy grandchildren, how did I get so lucky? Bill’s arm slips around my waist and I lean into him, the love of my family filling me with joy, with peace.
My little grandaughter squeezes my hand, “Please Oma?”. For a moment I feel like there is nothing I can’t do.
I bend down and lift her in my arms, she kisses my cheek and “hugs my neck”.
We walk into the sunlight together.
This is my entry for therealljidol. This is a fiction/non fiction entry, much of this story is true...the rest...well it's something that I hope someday will be true. The video you see there is from 2007. Melody is the blonde, Mary is sitting on the counter, Lacy is at the sink and of course Andy is the one trying to tell everybody else that I was there. They are now 21, 20, 16 and 14. Mel and Andy are both taller than the rest of us now, Lacy is promised to her boyfriend Mike and Mary graduates her first leg of college this summer. My God how time flies... Thank you to roina_arwen and my daughter Lacy for their invaluable feedback. I hope you enjoyed this snapshot of our lives. I am truly blessed by my family.
I opened the door and there you were, our kids, YOUR kids, the spouses...who's dog is that? Just dropping in to say hello you say, making sure we're okay. We’re okay, really, we keep telling you that but you don’t believe us. Old mom and dad, they can’t get along all by themselves.
I have to admit, the house has been pretty quiet lately.
One by one you hug me (“hug my neck” my dad used to say) and kiss my cheeks. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together, not since…well now…it’s hard for me to remember the last time…
The grandkids dance around my feet. They make me laugh they’re so excited to see us. They want to look at the pictures, always the pictures. I’m not so sure I can handle those pictures right now, they always make me nostalgic. But we get this chance so rarely now…I can’t say no. Mike volunteers to bring the rubber tubs down from the attic without me even having to ask; I always thought he’d make a good husband, Lacy. I’m so glad I was right.
The grandkids sit on the sofa with me one by one as I pull the first album onto my lap. They look so much like all of you. Andy’s big blue eyes look at me from his son’s face, Lacy’s red curls bounce around her daughter’s shoulders, the twins laugh Melody’s laugh, Mary’s little girl smiles just like Mary…your dad’s smile. I look over at Bill and see laughter dancing in his hazel eyes. He urges me to start, I was always the storyteller and he’s just as excited as the grandkids. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. They’re waiting for me to begin.
I open to the first page.
No matter how often we look at the pictures or how many times you hear me tell the stories behind them it’s always the first time again. As I turn the pages and tell your children the stories of your lives once more the memories take me back. They fall on me like rain, each one splashing against my skin as a cool reminder of days gone by. But they bring with them the first genuine smile I’ve felt for weeks.
I remember…
“Mary, this is the first time you held my hand. You put your small hand in mine and looked at me with so much trust. Because of you I felt like there was nothing I couldn’t do. I was so young, so afraid, but I was brave because of you.”
“Oh Lacy, here’s your kindergarten graduation. You wore your Pippi Longstocking braids that day and your paper cap kept slipping down over your eyes. We were both so proud. Do you see the bandage on your arm? Remember how you burned yourself on the barbecue grill right before the ceremony? You were so upset and it hurt so much, but you were so brave at the hospital. And all during your graduation you showed off your clean white wrap and proudly told everyone how the doctor said you were the bravest girl ever.”
“There’s the day that Melody poured a whole jar of Vaseline over her head. By the time we caught you it had run down your face in thick, clear globs. Oh my goodness it took us AGES to get the grease from your beautiful blonde hair! To this day I still believe that’s why your hair is so shiny.”
“Andy do you remember the time you came running into our room screaming “THERE’S FIRE IN THE SKY, THERE’S FIRE IN THE SKY!!” and we grabbed everyone and ran outside thinking the house was on fire? Then we realized that it was just the first time that you’d noticed the sunrise. We laughed and laughed and you just couldn’t understand what was so funny.”
“This is the time we all dressed up as “nature” for Halloween. Mary was a sunflower, Lacy was a “lacybug”, Melody was a rose, Andy was a peapod, I was Mother Nature and your Dad was Father Time. Stop laughing at me now. Yes I did look a little like a hippie flower child but that was the point!”
“That was the Christmas that we fooled Lacy into eating a vomit flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bean. You made the best icky face! Yes sweetie, your mom hates jelly beans now but you have to admit it was funny.”
“When I took Mary and Lacy for sushi for the first time, you BOTH made that icky face! No that restaurant isn’t open anymore but for years every time I went in there the owners made icky faces at me and started cracking up.”
We’re all laughing together but I find myself pausing at the next pictures. The memories start to get a little more serious…
“This is the day that Mary told us she was gay. You were so afraid we’d reject you, and so surprised when you realized we already knew. You hid your face in a pillow as you told us, we told you to never hide your face again and always hold your head up proudly no matter what anyone else thinks. We call this picture “coming out of the closet day”. I only hope we gave you as much courage that day as you gave to me the first time you put your hand in mine.”
“Here is the day that Lacy left for college. You almost didn’t go remember? You were so sure you weren’t going to make it; I had to convince you over and over that you could do it. You not only did it but you exceeded every single expectation we had. When you graduated with honors we framed that picture of you in your first empty dorm room and I chuckle every time I see it hanging in your living room.”
“Melody this is your first professional singing performance. You said it was just a little show but there were over 500 people! I remember how proud you were when you showed us that paycheck. It wasn’t much you said but it meant that you were on your way. I hope I didn’t embarrass you when I stood on my seat and screamed “Bravo!”. I don’t know if I told you that your dad still keeps our tickets in his wallet, he’s not the type to say it a lot but he is so very proud of you.”
I touch the photo of Andrew in his marine uniform. “It doesn’t seem real to see you in this picture and see you standing in front of me, your arm around your sweet wife. We’ve been through so much together you and I. Do you remember the fight we had on the day you left for basic? I said so many things that I wish I could take back, what I really meant was “I love you” and “I’m afraid you’re going to die”.”
So many pictures, so many pieces of our lives. The grandkids want to watch the videos next and we giggle as we watch you kids (husbands, wives and parents now) dance to “Rock Lobster” in the backyard, your first concerts, birthday parties, trips to the zoo and, my favorite, the time I filmed you all singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” without you knowing it.
There’s one more video to watch and you all look at me to see if it’s alright. I turn to Bill and see his eyes shining. I nod as he takes my hand and catch my breath as I watch your dad and I say our wedding vows. The tears come as we get to the part when the butterfly lands on each of us, surprising us both and telling us that this was right, this was true.
When we’re done there’s silence for a moment, broken by Andy’s little boy hollering “THAT WAS ABO!!” and everyone laughing with relief. He jumps into “Abo’s” arms; Bill chucks him under the chin and ruffles his hair.
The stories of our lives. We watched you grow, we watched you change and one by one you spread your wings and flew. And, as you should, you took your own pictures, made your own memories, started your own stories.
God how I miss you all so much.
You’re all going to dinner and you want us to come but we say no. This is your time now; ours is fading away, we’re vintage photos now, old memories. We should stay behind. I start to pack away the photo albums…
I feel a small hand in mine.
Mary’s daughter looks at me with so much trust, “Please Oma, please come to dinner.” I smile; another memory blooms in front of me, its perfume the sweetest of them all. I look up at Lacy. “Do you remember the one night I drove you home from the train station and we had our first “serious” talk? You admitted to me that you and Mike were getting “really serious”. We started joking about weddings and grandchildren and tried to figure out “cool grandma names” for me because, of course, I would in fact be a "cool grandma". You settled on Oma (Oh Ma!) and promised me that all the grandkids would call me that one day.” I look back at Mary’s daughter, with Mary’s smile, Bill’s smile. “How did you talk the other kids into that?”
You smile Lacy, that crooked little smile that everyone says is mine. You walk over and hug me quick and tight, the way you did when you were a very little girl. “I just told them how much you laughed and smiled when I said “How about Oma?”. Mom, do you remember what you said?” I shake my head. “You said, “Now THAT is a cool grandma name. Reminds me of when you guys were little, saying Oh Ma this and Oh Ma that.” Once I told them that, well, Oma it had to be.”
I laugh as I look around the room at all of you. My tall handsome son, my beautiful daughters, my happy, healthy grandchildren, how did I get so lucky? Bill’s arm slips around my waist and I lean into him, the love of my family filling me with joy, with peace.
My little grandaughter squeezes my hand, “Please Oma?”. For a moment I feel like there is nothing I can’t do.
I bend down and lift her in my arms, she kisses my cheek and “hugs my neck”.
We walk into the sunlight together.
Click to viewThis is my entry for therealljidol. This is a fiction/non fiction entry, much of this story is true...the rest...well it's something that I hope someday will be true. The video you see there is from 2007. Melody is the blonde, Mary is sitting on the counter, Lacy is at the sink and of course Andy is the one trying to tell everybody else that I was there. They are now 21, 20, 16 and 14. Mel and Andy are both taller than the rest of us now, Lacy is promised to her boyfriend Mike and Mary graduates her first leg of college this summer. My God how time flies... Thank you to roina_arwen and my daughter Lacy for their invaluable feedback. I hope you enjoyed this snapshot of our lives. I am truly blessed by my family.