right now i feel worthless
these past few days... my head has been my own worst enemy, and my heart is yet to open up
i am so ungodly sick of how any possibility of a stable concept in my life gets completely screwed around with by misconceptions... everyfuckingtime, nobody gets it, i swear to god this is killing me, whether its people or ways-out or whatever the fuck it is that shows any signs of being remotely stable in my life, it just doesnt happen... im SO FUCKING SICK of being angry, i've explained it and shown how it affects me but nobody fucking gets it... the only reason i dont shoot myself is because of the sliver of hope i get with the thought that in one more year it wont matter, people wont matter and especially what im feeling wont matter because i'll be gone, sure i love some people dearly but im being tortured by my own thoughts simply because i cannot express them, i know what i want, thats no problem, i just cannot find out for the life of me how to get it...
i really wish i could find someone that understands
and i really wish i could just let it out, i just cant find out how
i am so ungodly sick of how any possibility of a stable concept in my life gets completely screwed around with by misconceptions... everyfuckingtime, nobody gets it, i swear to god this is killing me, whether its people or ways-out or whatever the fuck it is that shows any signs of being remotely stable in my life, it just doesnt happen... im SO FUCKING SICK of being angry, i've explained it and shown how it affects me but nobody fucking gets it... the only reason i dont shoot myself is because of the sliver of hope i get with the thought that in one more year it wont matter, people wont matter and especially what im feeling wont matter because i'll be gone, sure i love some people dearly but im being tortured by my own thoughts simply because i cannot express them, i know what i want, thats no problem, i just cannot find out for the life of me how to get it...
i really wish i could find someone that understands
and i really wish i could just let it out, i just cant find out how