(no subject)
Thank you very, very much to everyone who commented or texted me. I really appreciate it. It's so hard. I mean, I'm not quite as hysterical today and I've been reliving wonderful and funny and touching moments that we had with her with my parents and Karen for the last day, but it's still so hard. Right now, it's just like there's such a void. The worst part are is opening the door or coming down the stairs and looking at her old blanket or the jacket she slept on or her food dish. But at the same time, I don't want them to go away yet. I'm not ready for that. And I want to stop crying but I don't want to stop thinking about her. And upon reflection, we all know that we absolutely did the best thing for her. The vet said that she had a lot of disease in her that we couldn't even see and sometimes dogs mask their pain - so it was absolutely the right thing to do for her. But that does not stop us from missing her like crazy. 15 years is such a long time.. I was 7 years old when we got her and we have only lived in our house for 5 months without her. Pretty much all of my memories include her being here. I grew up with her. It's just like losing a member of your family - no, it is losing a member of your family.
And I know it's going to get better. It already is, slightly. We're talking about her and slowly telling people. And we know that we want to find lots of pictures of her and blow a few of them up to frame. She just meant so much to us. And she's just always been there. I'm so so thankful for all of the time we had with her. You really could not ask for a more perfect dog. She was sweet and quirky and gentle. And happy - we know she had such a happy life.
But you know, even after saying all this, it still hurts like hell. Because we can't touch her anymore. We can't see her. We can't hug her and tell her we love her. That was even part of my routine - every night before I went to bed, I passed her on the stairs and always said "I love you sweetie". She is just going to be missed so freaking much. I still find it hard to believe that she's not here. I've never been through anything like this before. And you have to get on - I had a midterm today, Karen and I were laughing at stupid things today - but it's still always there. And sometimes, you just drop out of what you're doing and just can't stop thinking about her. I almost cried in both of my classes today - it just creeps up on you. Which I am ok with. I want to miss her, I want to feel this. I don't want to stop thinking about her right now.
But again, thank you to everyone for listening and caring.
♥ Sarah.
And I know it's going to get better. It already is, slightly. We're talking about her and slowly telling people. And we know that we want to find lots of pictures of her and blow a few of them up to frame. She just meant so much to us. And she's just always been there. I'm so so thankful for all of the time we had with her. You really could not ask for a more perfect dog. She was sweet and quirky and gentle. And happy - we know she had such a happy life.
But you know, even after saying all this, it still hurts like hell. Because we can't touch her anymore. We can't see her. We can't hug her and tell her we love her. That was even part of my routine - every night before I went to bed, I passed her on the stairs and always said "I love you sweetie". She is just going to be missed so freaking much. I still find it hard to believe that she's not here. I've never been through anything like this before. And you have to get on - I had a midterm today, Karen and I were laughing at stupid things today - but it's still always there. And sometimes, you just drop out of what you're doing and just can't stop thinking about her. I almost cried in both of my classes today - it just creeps up on you. Which I am ok with. I want to miss her, I want to feel this. I don't want to stop thinking about her right now.
But again, thank you to everyone for listening and caring.
♥ Sarah.