my disclaimer::
i... don't feel like ME right now. haven't, really, for the last month & a half. there are glimpses of who i am every now and then... i catch them. usually on Sunday afternoon's that i spend with Kayla or in random AIM conversations with Sam, Carlo, Natalie, Cortnee, Dan... etc. every once in a while, if i'm distracted enough i can feel a real smile emerge from inside. but usually, i feel dry, empty... blah. it disgusts me. this isn't who i am. i feel sick....
i apologize to those who have put up with me the last couple months. you should win a medal or something. but all i can say is thanks, i love you, and high five. (; heh. honestly though, this semester has been... trying for me. not so much scholastically, though i have struggled. but my life outside of school has been -- chaotic, to say the least. and it's taken it's toll on me. i need a break. i need to rest. i'm physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted. i'm sorry that i've been an emotional wreck, that i've been a jerk, that i've been distant and isolated. whatever i've been to you, or around you... i'm sorry. for those who KNOW me, know that that's not me.
i want this to be over. just give me to the end of this week, and i'll be back to my normal, UNnormal, self. i miss me, not gonna lie. i like who i am when i am me. again, thank you to my friends, the ones who have been there for me, supported me, held me and prayed for me... i can never fully repay you, but know that if the roles reverse, i've got your back. (:
i love you.