The Perks of Being a Wall-Man (4b/4b)
itle: The Perks of Being a Wall-Man
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17000 (9000 in this part)
Summary: The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Young Justice style! Wally stands on the fringes of life and offers a unique perspective.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: DONE. This was so much fun to write, but was also very difficult. It was exciting to write from someone else's style because I think it helped me realize my own style a little better. It was a great exercise and I recommend it to everyone: rewrite a book with your own characters just to get the feel of another writer's work. Maybe it's not helpful to everyone, but it was great for me. Also, if anyone enjoyed this story (and I really hope you did) please do yourself a favor and READ THE BOOK. Seriously, this is one of the most amazing books I have ever read in my whole life. I've read it countless times and every time I read it, I get something new from it. A new philosophy, a new understanding, a new perspective. It's done so much for me in terms of understanding people and situations a little better. Also, there is SO MUCH MORE in the book than in this fic. So much more about the main character's family and more about his well-being and so much more developed than this AU. There are links of it online if you don't want to buy it. And don't just watch the movie version. I'm sure the movie will be good (at least, it better be), but there is a certain magic in the book that I don't think can ever be replicated. Anyway, thank you all for reading. :)
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four A
PART FOUR B
It's prom night and Wally sits in his room.
All he hopes is that tonight is great for the people who it's supposed to be great for.
All he hopes is that Iris feels beautiful and that Jay makes her feel beautiful. He hopes that Roy doesn't make Artemis feel like her prom isn't special just because he's older. He hopes the same for Zatanna and Billy. He hopes Dick and Tim decide to make up and dance in front of the whole school. And that Babs is secretly a lesbian and in love with Tim's girlfriend Stephanie. And that Stephanie is secretly a lesbian and in love with Babs so that nobody is left out. He hopes the deejay is good. He hopes everyone's pictures turn out great and never become old photographs and nobody gets into a car accident.
That is what he really hopes.
Artemis and Roy have broken up.
Thanks to twenty-four hour film places, Wally gets to see very quickly how beautiful and handsome everyone looks. Roy apparently wore a suit instead of a tux. This is not why they broke up.
According to everyone, the prom was supposed to be very nice. They rode in a limo and even though the band was a really bad cover band, the drummer was good so everyone had a nice time dancing. Dick and Tim didn't even look at each other, but Artemis said Dick was really okay about it.
There was an after-prom party the school sponsored to keep everyone safe off the streets. Roy had rented a hotel suite for all of them, but only he and Artemis went. Artemis actually wanted to go to the school party, but Roy was angry because he had already paid for the suite. This is also not why they broke up.
It happened after Billy spoke up. Even though he is good friends with Roy, he loves Zatanna and is quite fond of Artemis and needed to set things right. It was something no one ever suspected.
Basically, Roy had been cheating on Artemis ever since they first started going out. And by cheating, he didn't get drunk and hook up and feel bad about it afterwards. He was with a girl named Jade, and it happened drunk and sober and often.
At first Billy didn't say anything because he didn't know anyone. But then he got to know Artemis and saw that this wasn't okay and decided to do something about it.
Apparently Roy had a bunch of reasons not to tell Artemis.
"I don't want to ruin prom for her."
"I don't want to ruin graduation for her."
"She's going to college soon and will find a new guy."
But then Billy found out Roy had been with Jade the afternoon before prom. So he told Roy that if Roy didn't say something to Artemis, he would.
And then at prom, Billy overheard Artemis tell Zatanna that maybe Roy was "the one" and how she was trying to think of ways to keep it going long-distance. Letters. Phone calls. Vacations.
That was it for Billy.
"Tell her something now or I tell her everything."
So Roy took her into his bedroom and when Artemis finally left, she so sad all she wanted to do was hit something. So she ran off with Zatanna trailing after her. Roy didn't follow her. Wally thinks he should have. Not to get her back or anything like that, but he should have run after her anyway.
Wally hasn't heard anything since then. Dick called to tell him everything, but he didn't go after Zatanna to find Artemis. He knows her well enough to let her cool off first. Before Dick hung up the phone, he promised to call as soon as he heard anything else.
Laying in bed and trying to sleep, Wally realizes something. Something that he thinks is probably very important. Not once since he heard about the break up did he feel happy. Not once. Not at all.
He never thought about how it would mean Artemis might start liking him. All he cares about is that Artemis got really hurt.
And that's when he realizes how deeply he truly loves her. Because there is nothing to gain and that doesn't matter.
Barry looks different without a suit.
He looks barely older than Wally in his t-shirt and jeans and barefeet. He looks happy with his girlfriend, Laurel, and Wally is glad for him.
Their house doesn't have a lot of furniture and Laurel teases that it's for Barry's safety. He's always moving so quickly and running into chairs or the corner of the kitchen table.
The house smells like spaghetti as they eat lunch and listen to jazz music. Barry asks him how he liked his first year of high school. Wally tells him everything, about how they felt infinite and how he listened to good music and how he was alone but still a part of everyone else and how he loves Artemis.
And as Wally finishes, Barry is very silent. And then he clears his throat.
"Wally, I want to thank you."
"Why?"
"Because it's been a wonderful experience teaching you."
Wally doesn't really know what to say. So he eats more spaghetti.
"Wally," Barry continues, "do you know why I had you run so much? Write down your thoughts?"
Mouth full of noodle, Wally shakes his head.
"Wally, you're one of the most gifted people I've ever known. And I don't mean in terms of my other students. I mean in terms of anyone I've ever met. I had you run because I thought you needed a way to focus. A way to make your thoughts match your pace. You have some good thoughts, kid. That's why I had you write them down. So they don't get lost on the track. So when summer is over and you're back at school and I'm not your teacher anymore, I want you to know that if you ever need anything or want to show me anything you write, or anything at all, you can always come to me as a friend. I do consider you a friend, Wally. I just want you to know that you're very special and the only reason I'm telling you that is that I don't know if anyone else ever has."
Wally feels solid. Not like running or vibrating with energy and runaway thoughts, but solid. He doesn't know what to say, but despite his solid standing, his mouth runs away from him.
"You're the best teacher I ever had."
And Barry says, "Thank you."
And that's it. After a few minutes, it's time for Wally to leave. He doesn't know who decides these things. It just happens.
So they walk to the door and Laurel hugs him goodbye and Barry shakes his hand. Wally sneaks in a hug before saying "goodbye" and driving home.
Bart comes home from college on the Saturday night before graduation.
Wally thinks he looks different, and not just because of his new beard. He smiles differently and asks questions about everyone else's life instead of just talking about himself.
Wally's happy he's home.
Graduation day starts early. Wally hasn't heard from Dick or Artemis in a few days, but he knows he'll see them at graduation.
So they have brunch with champagne, though Iris and Wally still hav to drink sparkling apple juice. Their father films them all with the video camera he rented from the store.
"Why buy a camera when you only need it three times a year?"
And when brunch is over, Wally is the one to drive them because the adults are tipsy and Iris is so nervous.
She has to give the salutatorian speech. She would have been valedictorian, but she got a B when she was having her problems with her boyfriend.
Wally doesn't think it's possible to be more proud of her.
Wally's mom is finding somewhere in the bleachers where she can stand and videotape the ceremony from a good angle. Beside him, Bart and their dad talk about track. Wally keeps looking for Dick and Artemis, but it's a sea of caps in the distance.
But when he finally sees Artemis walking proud and determined with Dick behind her loose and springy, he's just so relieved. He can't really tell if she's happy or sad, but it's enough that he gets to see her and know that she's there.
The speeches are pretty much all the same. Achievements the school made. Favorite memories. Quoting pop songs. Talking about the future.
But when Iris quotes a pop song and talks about the future, it seems great.
Maybe they're all biased, but Wally looks at his family. His mom is still holding the camera and crying soft and messy and his dad has tears in his eyes and Bart looks proud.
When Iris's speech is over, no one claps harder or yells louder than Wally.
Wally watches everyone get their diploma. Babs, Artemis, Dick. Then it's his sister's turn and his mother cries a little harder.
Zatanna gets her diploma and Wally claps a little harder because she's getting to be that big person in a big college like she always wanted.
It's a great day. Even when Tim gets his diploma, Wally claps. It seems okay.
It's family dinner and time spent wishing Iris well. It's nearly ten at night before Wally's father lets him visit Artemis and Dick.
"Thanks for sticking around. It meant a lot to me and the family."
There's something about that tunnel that leads to downtown. It's glorious at night. Just glorious. You start on one side of the mountain, and it's dark, and the radio is loud. As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it. It really is a grand entrance.
Artemis had told him everyone was celebrating at a dance club. It takes him half an hour to find Zatanna and Billy in a sitting room off the main dance room. She's sipping cranberry and vodka like a queen as she tells him Karen is getting high in the bathroom with Mal, Babs is still with her parents, and Dick and Artemis are dancing somewhere on the floor.
Wally isn't sure where exactly they are, so he sits and waits and listens to Zatanna and Billy debate about the power of fate.
It's like the clock stopped. He just wants to see Artemis.
Three songs later, Artemis and Dick return in a sheen of sweat and everyone hugs like they haven't seen each other in months. Considering everything that happened, Wally guesses that makes sense.
Dick lays on top of Billy and Zatanna like they are a couch. He even takes Zatanna's drink and swigs it back as she calls him an asshole. Wally thinks he might be drunk, even though he hasn't been drinking as much lately. But then again, Dick does that stuff sober, so it's hard to tell.
Then Artemis grabs Wally's hand. "I love this song!" She leads him to the dance floor, hair tossed back in a ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself. Of course he follows.
They dance fast and fun and Wally's not very good, but she doesn't seem to mind. They are dancing and that's enough.
The song ends and a slow song picks up in its place. She looks at Wally and before he can even react to her eyes on his, she puts his hands on her waist and pulls him in to dance slow. And for all his rushing blood and anxious feet, he simply sways back and forth holding Artemis.
Her whisper smells like rum and coke.
"I looked for you in the parking lot today."
He hopes his breath smells like toothpaste.
"I was looking for you, too."
They stay quiet for the rest of the song. She holds him closer, he holds her closer still. He just really wants the clock to stop. And just be there for a long time.
After the dance club, they all go back to Billy's apartment.
Everyone is in various states of tipsy and happy and silly and when Babs barges in, it's like a family reunion. She's somehow stuck resting against Zatanna and halfway under Dick's legs when the commotion is at its greatest.
Wally takes advantage of the moment to catch Artemis by the elbow. She spins around, loose with a bit of alcohol, but her eyes sharpen as she sees him. He hands her an envelope and smiles with a wink before stepping aside and waiting for the room to quiet down.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Artemis open the envelope and read her letter. It's a small letter, more of a note than a letter, and all it does is tell her that he wants her to be happy because she's his favorite person in the whole world. He can see her expression and he knows that she knows that he meant what he wrote.
With a coffee cup filled with red wine, Wally stands in the middle of the small living room.
"I'm going to miss you all very much. I hope you have a great time at college."
Simultaneously, it hits everyone that they are all leaving and the laughs become more nostalgic and the hugs a little tighter.
Wally's watching everyone pull closer to one another when Artemis catches him by the elbow much like he had done to her moments before. Wordlessly, she leads him to the kitchen.
The atmosphere is calmer somehow in the tiny room.
Artemis says, "You know I'm leaving in a week."
It's not a question, but he answers anyway.
"Yeah. I know."
"I want you to listen."
"Okay."
She's quiet for a long time, so long that Wally thinks he's supposed to listen to the silence. That this is what the world is going to sound like when Artemis leaves.
When she finally speaks, she sounds a little guilty, but her eyes are glaring at him as though daring him to laugh.
"I'm really scared to be alone at college."
Wally stares. He hadn't even thought of that.
"You are?" he asks, perplexed.
"Just like you're really scared to be alone here." Again, she's challenging him to say she's wrong.
He simply answers, "Okay."
Artemis eyes him carefully, and he can practically see her measuring him up in her mind. When she talks again, she's all cool and business and practical.
"So, I'll make you a deal. When things get to be too much at college, I'll call you, and when things get to be too much here, you call me."
"Okay."
Some of her cool logic fades away and she looks like she wants to put a hand on his shoulder, but thinks better of it.
"Wally, I'm going to be back at the end of the summer, but before we think about that, let's just enjoy this last week together. All of us. Okay?
He nods.
The next day is different. Wally doesn't sleep from adrenaline and doesn't see Dick and Artemis because they are out with their parents for a fancy graduation dinner.
So he runs.
At the end of the run, nothing really seems like a good bye.
The week leading up to Artemis's departure is very frantic. She spends her time divided between hanging out with Wally and their friends and shopping for all her supplies.
It's strange for Wally to see this scared side of her. This anxious creature who's not herself until she had a sip of whatever they're drinking or a hit of whatever they're smoking. Then she's Artemis again.
One thing that helps Artemis is having lunch with Roy.
It's "closure" and Wally doesn't think Roy deserves it, but Artemis wants it. And Roy is decent enough to tell her she was right to break up with him and that she's a special person and that he's sorry and that he wishes her well.
It's strange the times people choose to be generous.
Artemis leaves the lunch a little more secure than when she entered. As she tells him the story, Wally can see that she's still a little sad. But it's a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.
The night before Artemis had to leave, everyone piles into Dick and Artemis's house. They sit, telling inside jokes that aren't inside jokes anymore; they're stories. Nobody brings up the bad times or the bad names and nobody is sad because they can postpone until tomorrow to feel any nostalgia.
Remember when we put the naked picture into the newspaper... or remember when Kaldur did this... or Wally... or Zatanna... or Raquel... or Artemis...
After a while, Zatanna, Babs, Raquel, and Kaldur leave with the promises of seeing Artemis before she finally leaves the next morning. And then it's just Dick and Artemis and Wally.
Remember when Wally first came to see us at the football game... and remember when Artemis laughed at Wally's dancing at homecoming... or remember the mixtape... and remember running up the hill... and remember when we all felt infinite...
After Wally says that, it gets quiet and sad. And in the silence, Wally remembers this one time that he never told anybody about. He didn't even write it in his lightning bolt notebook. The time they were walking. Just the three of them. And he was in the middle. He doesn't remember where they were walking to or where they were walking from. He doesn't even remember the season. He just remembers walking between them and feeling for the first time that he belonged somewhere.
Finally, Dick stood up.
"I'm tired, guys. Good night."
He tugs on Artemis's ponytail and cackles just out of her reach as she tries to push him in retaliation. Wally sometimes forgets that they aren't really brother and sister.
It's quiet for a moment as they listen to Dick go to his bedroom. Then Artemis turns to Wally.
"Wally, I have to pack up some things. Wanna stay with me a while?"
He nods and they walk upstairs.
Her room is nearly empty. The pictures are down and the dressers are empty and everything is in a big pile on her bed. He just looks around casually like he's not upset that she's leaving because she doesn't need to be any more panicked than she already is.
So he sits on her bed next to her pile of everything she owns and watches her pack. He tries to notice as many details as he possibly could. His eyes dart quickly, taking in her long hair and her thin wrists and her stormy eyes. He wants to remember everything. Especially the sound of her voice.
Artemis talks about a lot of things, trying to keep herself distracted. She talks about the long drive she'll have to make tomorrow. She wonders what her classes will be like and she kinda wants to join the archery team. She doesn't want to join a sorority, but she's looking forward to the football games.
Her voice isn't sad, but it's quiet when she finally zips up her suitcase and faces Wally directly for the first time.
"Why didn't you ask me out when the whole Roy thing happened?"
The look in her eyes doesn't warrant anything but a need for honesty.
But he doesn't know how to answer the question so he just sits there.
"Wally... after that thing with Zatanna at the party and us dancing at the club and everything..."
Wally doesn't know what to say. No one makes him feel as lost as Artemis.
"Okay, Wally... I'll make this easy," she says with a familiar roll of her eyes. "When the whole thing with Roy happened, what did you think?"
She really wants to know, he can see that.
So he answers.
"Well, I thought about a lot of things. But mostly, I thought about your being sad was much more important to me than Roy not being your boyfriend anymore. And if it means that I would never get to think of you that way, as long as you were happy, it was okay."
Artemis is still looking at him with those eyes that demand the truth, so he finishes his trailed off sentence. He looks her right in the eye as he says it.
"That's when I realized that I really loved you."
Artemis sits on the bed beside him, the pile gone after packing.
"Wally, don't you get it? I can't feel that. It's weirdly sweet, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. You listen and you're a shoulder to cry on, but what if I don't need a shoulder? What if I need you to put your arms around me or a hand to help steady me? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You can't keep all those thoughts in your head and run to center yourself. What if someone wants to run with you?"
"What do you mean?" His mouth is dry.
She sighs, a little aggravated, but patient. "I don't know. What if someone wants you to take their hands when the slow song comes up? Or be the one who asks someone for a date. Or tell people what you need. Or what you want."
Wally didn't think he was like that, but he thinks maybe everyone looks different from another perspective.
Artemis continues, "Like on the dance floor, did you want to kiss me?"
"Yeah."
"Then, why didn't you?" she asks so serious.
"Because I didn't think you wanted me to."
"Why did you think that?
"Because of what you said."
"What I said nine months ago? When I told you not to think of me that way?"
Wally nods.
"Wally, you followed my advice when I told you how to behave with Zatanna. And Billy isn't like that at all. He does the exact opposite and it's works for them because that's just who Billy is. He's being himself."
"But I didn't like Zatanna."
"You're missing the point, Wally. The point is that I don't think you would have acted different even if you did like Zatanna."
Wally doesn't really understand and he tells her as much.
Artemis is contemplative for a moment, her eyes sweeping over his face as she thinks.
Finally, she speaks again, her voice patient in a way that he wouldn't have expected from her.
"It's like you can come to Dick's rescue and hurt two guys who are trying to hurt him, but what about when Dick is hurting himself? Did you want him to kiss you?"
Wally shakes his head no.
"Then why'd you let him?"
"I was just trying to be a friend."
"But you weren't," Artemis stresses, toying with the end of her blonde ponytail. "At those times, you weren't being his friend at all. Because you weren't honest with him."
Wally sits uncomfortable, watching Artemis as she levels him with a hard stare. He's never been this quiet for this long, but she brings this out in him.
"Wally, I told you not to think of me that way nine months ago because I didn't know that's who you were. I didn't know that was you being yourself. I just didn't want to be somebody's crush. And I still don't. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll sure as hell tell them."
Wally doesn't doubt that for a moment and he's about to say as much when Artemis keeps talking.
"You know I blamed Roy for not letting me do things? You know how stupid I feel about that now? Maybe he didn't really encourage me to do things, but he didn't prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn't do thinks because I didn't want him to think different about me. But the thing is, I wasn't being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn't really even know me? I'm one of a kind and he didn't see that, so why should I care what he thinks?"
Her eyes are so gray, he thinks. He can barely swallow, her words are choking him and opening his eyes all at the same time.
Artemis is determined and there is nothing more beautiful than her face at this moment. All fierce lines and confidence and pride.
"So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let anyone affect me like Roy did ever again. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. But right now I'm here with you. And I want to know where you are, what you need, and what you want to do."
For the first time, Wally doesn't need to run to work out his thoughts. He doesn't think about it, doesn't talk about it. If she doesn't like it, she could just say so.
He leans in to her beautiful face and whispers, "I should have done this a long time ago."
Even as he moves closer, she answers him until her lips are brushing against him as she speaks. "Yeah, you should have."
He kisses her. And she kisses him back. And they lay on the bed and keep kissing. And it's soft. And they make quiet noises. And keep silent. And still.
And then something changes, and suddenly their hands are everywhere. They touch from the waist up over their clothes. And then under their clothes. And then without clothes. And it is so beautiful.
She is so beautiful.
He wakes up the next morning to find her already gone and making breakfast with Dick. He joins them in the kitchen and Dick is surprisingly quiet. He gives him a once-over and doesn't crack a single joke, just asks if he wants breakfast.
They eat with Dick and Artemis's parents and no one thinks it's strange at all that Wally stayed the night. It's perfect and he loves her and nothing can ruin this moment.
Everyone shows up soon after breakfast and everyone is ready to say goodbye. Her parents load everything into the van, except for a few things Dick puts in the back of her truck. One by one, Artemis hugs her friends and tells them goodbye. Since she'll be back for the last few days of summer, it feels more like a "see you later" than a goodbye.
Wally's last. Artemis walks up and holds him for a long time in a rare display of public affection. And if someone makes a comment, she only flips them off and holds Wally tighter. Finally she whispers in his ear that she will miss him and how he should take care of himself while she's gone and that when she comes back they will drive through the tunnel again.
"You're my best friend," is all he can say in return.
They smile and she kisses his cheek and leaves his skin feeling raw.
So she climbs into her truck and Dick starts it up and a great song plays on the radio and everyone is smiling. Even Wally. But he doesn't feel like he's there anymore.
It's not until he can't see the van and truck anymore that he comes back.
Wally runs. He runs two months away until Artemis is back.
Dick and Artemis arrive in Artemis's pick-up truck. And they go to dinner like usual, only this time Artemis is telling them all about college. Her eyes are bright as she speaks and Wally watches as she keeps tugging on the ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself.
She talks about college, which sounds exciting. Wally talks about running, which isn't exciting at all. Dick makes jokes to keep everyone honest.
And then it's time to leave and just like Artemis promised before she left, they drive to the tunnel.
About half a mile from the tunnel, Artemis stops the car and Wally climbs into the back. Patrick plays the radio really loud so Wally can hear it, and as they are approaching the tunnel, Wally listens to the music and thinks about all the things people have told him over the past year.
He thinks about Barry telling him he's special. And Iris telling him she loves him. And his mother. And his dad and Bart, too. He thinks about Dick calling him his friend. And he thinks about Artemis. And he thinks about how great it is to have friends and a family.
As they go into the tunnel, he doesn't hold his arms up like he's flying. He just lets the wind rush over his face. And he smiles and laughs and almost wants to cry because it's everything at once. Because he is suddenly very aware of the fact that he's the one standing up in that tunnel with the wind over his face. Not caring if he sees downtown, not even thinking about it.
Because he's standing in the tunnel. And he's really there. And that is enough to make him feel infinite.
I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have to power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17000 (9000 in this part)
Summary: The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Young Justice style! Wally stands on the fringes of life and offers a unique perspective.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: DONE. This was so much fun to write, but was also very difficult. It was exciting to write from someone else's style because I think it helped me realize my own style a little better. It was a great exercise and I recommend it to everyone: rewrite a book with your own characters just to get the feel of another writer's work. Maybe it's not helpful to everyone, but it was great for me. Also, if anyone enjoyed this story (and I really hope you did) please do yourself a favor and READ THE BOOK. Seriously, this is one of the most amazing books I have ever read in my whole life. I've read it countless times and every time I read it, I get something new from it. A new philosophy, a new understanding, a new perspective. It's done so much for me in terms of understanding people and situations a little better. Also, there is SO MUCH MORE in the book than in this fic. So much more about the main character's family and more about his well-being and so much more developed than this AU. There are links of it online if you don't want to buy it. And don't just watch the movie version. I'm sure the movie will be good (at least, it better be), but there is a certain magic in the book that I don't think can ever be replicated. Anyway, thank you all for reading. :)
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four A
PART FOUR B
It's prom night and Wally sits in his room.
All he hopes is that tonight is great for the people who it's supposed to be great for.
All he hopes is that Iris feels beautiful and that Jay makes her feel beautiful. He hopes that Roy doesn't make Artemis feel like her prom isn't special just because he's older. He hopes the same for Zatanna and Billy. He hopes Dick and Tim decide to make up and dance in front of the whole school. And that Babs is secretly a lesbian and in love with Tim's girlfriend Stephanie. And that Stephanie is secretly a lesbian and in love with Babs so that nobody is left out. He hopes the deejay is good. He hopes everyone's pictures turn out great and never become old photographs and nobody gets into a car accident.
That is what he really hopes.
Artemis and Roy have broken up.
Thanks to twenty-four hour film places, Wally gets to see very quickly how beautiful and handsome everyone looks. Roy apparently wore a suit instead of a tux. This is not why they broke up.
According to everyone, the prom was supposed to be very nice. They rode in a limo and even though the band was a really bad cover band, the drummer was good so everyone had a nice time dancing. Dick and Tim didn't even look at each other, but Artemis said Dick was really okay about it.
There was an after-prom party the school sponsored to keep everyone safe off the streets. Roy had rented a hotel suite for all of them, but only he and Artemis went. Artemis actually wanted to go to the school party, but Roy was angry because he had already paid for the suite. This is also not why they broke up.
It happened after Billy spoke up. Even though he is good friends with Roy, he loves Zatanna and is quite fond of Artemis and needed to set things right. It was something no one ever suspected.
Basically, Roy had been cheating on Artemis ever since they first started going out. And by cheating, he didn't get drunk and hook up and feel bad about it afterwards. He was with a girl named Jade, and it happened drunk and sober and often.
At first Billy didn't say anything because he didn't know anyone. But then he got to know Artemis and saw that this wasn't okay and decided to do something about it.
Apparently Roy had a bunch of reasons not to tell Artemis.
"I don't want to ruin prom for her."
"I don't want to ruin graduation for her."
"She's going to college soon and will find a new guy."
But then Billy found out Roy had been with Jade the afternoon before prom. So he told Roy that if Roy didn't say something to Artemis, he would.
And then at prom, Billy overheard Artemis tell Zatanna that maybe Roy was "the one" and how she was trying to think of ways to keep it going long-distance. Letters. Phone calls. Vacations.
That was it for Billy.
"Tell her something now or I tell her everything."
So Roy took her into his bedroom and when Artemis finally left, she so sad all she wanted to do was hit something. So she ran off with Zatanna trailing after her. Roy didn't follow her. Wally thinks he should have. Not to get her back or anything like that, but he should have run after her anyway.
Wally hasn't heard anything since then. Dick called to tell him everything, but he didn't go after Zatanna to find Artemis. He knows her well enough to let her cool off first. Before Dick hung up the phone, he promised to call as soon as he heard anything else.
Laying in bed and trying to sleep, Wally realizes something. Something that he thinks is probably very important. Not once since he heard about the break up did he feel happy. Not once. Not at all.
He never thought about how it would mean Artemis might start liking him. All he cares about is that Artemis got really hurt.
And that's when he realizes how deeply he truly loves her. Because there is nothing to gain and that doesn't matter.
Barry looks different without a suit.
He looks barely older than Wally in his t-shirt and jeans and barefeet. He looks happy with his girlfriend, Laurel, and Wally is glad for him.
Their house doesn't have a lot of furniture and Laurel teases that it's for Barry's safety. He's always moving so quickly and running into chairs or the corner of the kitchen table.
The house smells like spaghetti as they eat lunch and listen to jazz music. Barry asks him how he liked his first year of high school. Wally tells him everything, about how they felt infinite and how he listened to good music and how he was alone but still a part of everyone else and how he loves Artemis.
And as Wally finishes, Barry is very silent. And then he clears his throat.
"Wally, I want to thank you."
"Why?"
"Because it's been a wonderful experience teaching you."
Wally doesn't really know what to say. So he eats more spaghetti.
"Wally," Barry continues, "do you know why I had you run so much? Write down your thoughts?"
Mouth full of noodle, Wally shakes his head.
"Wally, you're one of the most gifted people I've ever known. And I don't mean in terms of my other students. I mean in terms of anyone I've ever met. I had you run because I thought you needed a way to focus. A way to make your thoughts match your pace. You have some good thoughts, kid. That's why I had you write them down. So they don't get lost on the track. So when summer is over and you're back at school and I'm not your teacher anymore, I want you to know that if you ever need anything or want to show me anything you write, or anything at all, you can always come to me as a friend. I do consider you a friend, Wally. I just want you to know that you're very special and the only reason I'm telling you that is that I don't know if anyone else ever has."
Wally feels solid. Not like running or vibrating with energy and runaway thoughts, but solid. He doesn't know what to say, but despite his solid standing, his mouth runs away from him.
"You're the best teacher I ever had."
And Barry says, "Thank you."
And that's it. After a few minutes, it's time for Wally to leave. He doesn't know who decides these things. It just happens.
So they walk to the door and Laurel hugs him goodbye and Barry shakes his hand. Wally sneaks in a hug before saying "goodbye" and driving home.
Bart comes home from college on the Saturday night before graduation.
Wally thinks he looks different, and not just because of his new beard. He smiles differently and asks questions about everyone else's life instead of just talking about himself.
Wally's happy he's home.
Graduation day starts early. Wally hasn't heard from Dick or Artemis in a few days, but he knows he'll see them at graduation.
So they have brunch with champagne, though Iris and Wally still hav to drink sparkling apple juice. Their father films them all with the video camera he rented from the store.
"Why buy a camera when you only need it three times a year?"
And when brunch is over, Wally is the one to drive them because the adults are tipsy and Iris is so nervous.
She has to give the salutatorian speech. She would have been valedictorian, but she got a B when she was having her problems with her boyfriend.
Wally doesn't think it's possible to be more proud of her.
Wally's mom is finding somewhere in the bleachers where she can stand and videotape the ceremony from a good angle. Beside him, Bart and their dad talk about track. Wally keeps looking for Dick and Artemis, but it's a sea of caps in the distance.
But when he finally sees Artemis walking proud and determined with Dick behind her loose and springy, he's just so relieved. He can't really tell if she's happy or sad, but it's enough that he gets to see her and know that she's there.
The speeches are pretty much all the same. Achievements the school made. Favorite memories. Quoting pop songs. Talking about the future.
But when Iris quotes a pop song and talks about the future, it seems great.
Maybe they're all biased, but Wally looks at his family. His mom is still holding the camera and crying soft and messy and his dad has tears in his eyes and Bart looks proud.
When Iris's speech is over, no one claps harder or yells louder than Wally.
Wally watches everyone get their diploma. Babs, Artemis, Dick. Then it's his sister's turn and his mother cries a little harder.
Zatanna gets her diploma and Wally claps a little harder because she's getting to be that big person in a big college like she always wanted.
It's a great day. Even when Tim gets his diploma, Wally claps. It seems okay.
It's family dinner and time spent wishing Iris well. It's nearly ten at night before Wally's father lets him visit Artemis and Dick.
"Thanks for sticking around. It meant a lot to me and the family."
There's something about that tunnel that leads to downtown. It's glorious at night. Just glorious. You start on one side of the mountain, and it's dark, and the radio is loud. As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it. It really is a grand entrance.
Artemis had told him everyone was celebrating at a dance club. It takes him half an hour to find Zatanna and Billy in a sitting room off the main dance room. She's sipping cranberry and vodka like a queen as she tells him Karen is getting high in the bathroom with Mal, Babs is still with her parents, and Dick and Artemis are dancing somewhere on the floor.
Wally isn't sure where exactly they are, so he sits and waits and listens to Zatanna and Billy debate about the power of fate.
It's like the clock stopped. He just wants to see Artemis.
Three songs later, Artemis and Dick return in a sheen of sweat and everyone hugs like they haven't seen each other in months. Considering everything that happened, Wally guesses that makes sense.
Dick lays on top of Billy and Zatanna like they are a couch. He even takes Zatanna's drink and swigs it back as she calls him an asshole. Wally thinks he might be drunk, even though he hasn't been drinking as much lately. But then again, Dick does that stuff sober, so it's hard to tell.
Then Artemis grabs Wally's hand. "I love this song!" She leads him to the dance floor, hair tossed back in a ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself. Of course he follows.
They dance fast and fun and Wally's not very good, but she doesn't seem to mind. They are dancing and that's enough.
The song ends and a slow song picks up in its place. She looks at Wally and before he can even react to her eyes on his, she puts his hands on her waist and pulls him in to dance slow. And for all his rushing blood and anxious feet, he simply sways back and forth holding Artemis.
Her whisper smells like rum and coke.
"I looked for you in the parking lot today."
He hopes his breath smells like toothpaste.
"I was looking for you, too."
They stay quiet for the rest of the song. She holds him closer, he holds her closer still. He just really wants the clock to stop. And just be there for a long time.
After the dance club, they all go back to Billy's apartment.
Everyone is in various states of tipsy and happy and silly and when Babs barges in, it's like a family reunion. She's somehow stuck resting against Zatanna and halfway under Dick's legs when the commotion is at its greatest.
Wally takes advantage of the moment to catch Artemis by the elbow. She spins around, loose with a bit of alcohol, but her eyes sharpen as she sees him. He hands her an envelope and smiles with a wink before stepping aside and waiting for the room to quiet down.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Artemis open the envelope and read her letter. It's a small letter, more of a note than a letter, and all it does is tell her that he wants her to be happy because she's his favorite person in the whole world. He can see her expression and he knows that she knows that he meant what he wrote.
With a coffee cup filled with red wine, Wally stands in the middle of the small living room.
"I'm going to miss you all very much. I hope you have a great time at college."
Simultaneously, it hits everyone that they are all leaving and the laughs become more nostalgic and the hugs a little tighter.
Wally's watching everyone pull closer to one another when Artemis catches him by the elbow much like he had done to her moments before. Wordlessly, she leads him to the kitchen.
The atmosphere is calmer somehow in the tiny room.
Artemis says, "You know I'm leaving in a week."
It's not a question, but he answers anyway.
"Yeah. I know."
"I want you to listen."
"Okay."
She's quiet for a long time, so long that Wally thinks he's supposed to listen to the silence. That this is what the world is going to sound like when Artemis leaves.
When she finally speaks, she sounds a little guilty, but her eyes are glaring at him as though daring him to laugh.
"I'm really scared to be alone at college."
Wally stares. He hadn't even thought of that.
"You are?" he asks, perplexed.
"Just like you're really scared to be alone here." Again, she's challenging him to say she's wrong.
He simply answers, "Okay."
Artemis eyes him carefully, and he can practically see her measuring him up in her mind. When she talks again, she's all cool and business and practical.
"So, I'll make you a deal. When things get to be too much at college, I'll call you, and when things get to be too much here, you call me."
"Okay."
Some of her cool logic fades away and she looks like she wants to put a hand on his shoulder, but thinks better of it.
"Wally, I'm going to be back at the end of the summer, but before we think about that, let's just enjoy this last week together. All of us. Okay?
He nods.
The next day is different. Wally doesn't sleep from adrenaline and doesn't see Dick and Artemis because they are out with their parents for a fancy graduation dinner.
So he runs.
At the end of the run, nothing really seems like a good bye.
The week leading up to Artemis's departure is very frantic. She spends her time divided between hanging out with Wally and their friends and shopping for all her supplies.
It's strange for Wally to see this scared side of her. This anxious creature who's not herself until she had a sip of whatever they're drinking or a hit of whatever they're smoking. Then she's Artemis again.
One thing that helps Artemis is having lunch with Roy.
It's "closure" and Wally doesn't think Roy deserves it, but Artemis wants it. And Roy is decent enough to tell her she was right to break up with him and that she's a special person and that he's sorry and that he wishes her well.
It's strange the times people choose to be generous.
Artemis leaves the lunch a little more secure than when she entered. As she tells him the story, Wally can see that she's still a little sad. But it's a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.
The night before Artemis had to leave, everyone piles into Dick and Artemis's house. They sit, telling inside jokes that aren't inside jokes anymore; they're stories. Nobody brings up the bad times or the bad names and nobody is sad because they can postpone until tomorrow to feel any nostalgia.
Remember when we put the naked picture into the newspaper... or remember when Kaldur did this... or Wally... or Zatanna... or Raquel... or Artemis...
After a while, Zatanna, Babs, Raquel, and Kaldur leave with the promises of seeing Artemis before she finally leaves the next morning. And then it's just Dick and Artemis and Wally.
Remember when Wally first came to see us at the football game... and remember when Artemis laughed at Wally's dancing at homecoming... or remember the mixtape... and remember running up the hill... and remember when we all felt infinite...
After Wally says that, it gets quiet and sad. And in the silence, Wally remembers this one time that he never told anybody about. He didn't even write it in his lightning bolt notebook. The time they were walking. Just the three of them. And he was in the middle. He doesn't remember where they were walking to or where they were walking from. He doesn't even remember the season. He just remembers walking between them and feeling for the first time that he belonged somewhere.
Finally, Dick stood up.
"I'm tired, guys. Good night."
He tugs on Artemis's ponytail and cackles just out of her reach as she tries to push him in retaliation. Wally sometimes forgets that they aren't really brother and sister.
It's quiet for a moment as they listen to Dick go to his bedroom. Then Artemis turns to Wally.
"Wally, I have to pack up some things. Wanna stay with me a while?"
He nods and they walk upstairs.
Her room is nearly empty. The pictures are down and the dressers are empty and everything is in a big pile on her bed. He just looks around casually like he's not upset that she's leaving because she doesn't need to be any more panicked than she already is.
So he sits on her bed next to her pile of everything she owns and watches her pack. He tries to notice as many details as he possibly could. His eyes dart quickly, taking in her long hair and her thin wrists and her stormy eyes. He wants to remember everything. Especially the sound of her voice.
Artemis talks about a lot of things, trying to keep herself distracted. She talks about the long drive she'll have to make tomorrow. She wonders what her classes will be like and she kinda wants to join the archery team. She doesn't want to join a sorority, but she's looking forward to the football games.
Her voice isn't sad, but it's quiet when she finally zips up her suitcase and faces Wally directly for the first time.
"Why didn't you ask me out when the whole Roy thing happened?"
The look in her eyes doesn't warrant anything but a need for honesty.
But he doesn't know how to answer the question so he just sits there.
"Wally... after that thing with Zatanna at the party and us dancing at the club and everything..."
Wally doesn't know what to say. No one makes him feel as lost as Artemis.
"Okay, Wally... I'll make this easy," she says with a familiar roll of her eyes. "When the whole thing with Roy happened, what did you think?"
She really wants to know, he can see that.
So he answers.
"Well, I thought about a lot of things. But mostly, I thought about your being sad was much more important to me than Roy not being your boyfriend anymore. And if it means that I would never get to think of you that way, as long as you were happy, it was okay."
Artemis is still looking at him with those eyes that demand the truth, so he finishes his trailed off sentence. He looks her right in the eye as he says it.
"That's when I realized that I really loved you."
Artemis sits on the bed beside him, the pile gone after packing.
"Wally, don't you get it? I can't feel that. It's weirdly sweet, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. You listen and you're a shoulder to cry on, but what if I don't need a shoulder? What if I need you to put your arms around me or a hand to help steady me? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You can't keep all those thoughts in your head and run to center yourself. What if someone wants to run with you?"
"What do you mean?" His mouth is dry.
She sighs, a little aggravated, but patient. "I don't know. What if someone wants you to take their hands when the slow song comes up? Or be the one who asks someone for a date. Or tell people what you need. Or what you want."
Wally didn't think he was like that, but he thinks maybe everyone looks different from another perspective.
Artemis continues, "Like on the dance floor, did you want to kiss me?"
"Yeah."
"Then, why didn't you?" she asks so serious.
"Because I didn't think you wanted me to."
"Why did you think that?
"Because of what you said."
"What I said nine months ago? When I told you not to think of me that way?"
Wally nods.
"Wally, you followed my advice when I told you how to behave with Zatanna. And Billy isn't like that at all. He does the exact opposite and it's works for them because that's just who Billy is. He's being himself."
"But I didn't like Zatanna."
"You're missing the point, Wally. The point is that I don't think you would have acted different even if you did like Zatanna."
Wally doesn't really understand and he tells her as much.
Artemis is contemplative for a moment, her eyes sweeping over his face as she thinks.
Finally, she speaks again, her voice patient in a way that he wouldn't have expected from her.
"It's like you can come to Dick's rescue and hurt two guys who are trying to hurt him, but what about when Dick is hurting himself? Did you want him to kiss you?"
Wally shakes his head no.
"Then why'd you let him?"
"I was just trying to be a friend."
"But you weren't," Artemis stresses, toying with the end of her blonde ponytail. "At those times, you weren't being his friend at all. Because you weren't honest with him."
Wally sits uncomfortable, watching Artemis as she levels him with a hard stare. He's never been this quiet for this long, but she brings this out in him.
"Wally, I told you not to think of me that way nine months ago because I didn't know that's who you were. I didn't know that was you being yourself. I just didn't want to be somebody's crush. And I still don't. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll sure as hell tell them."
Wally doesn't doubt that for a moment and he's about to say as much when Artemis keeps talking.
"You know I blamed Roy for not letting me do things? You know how stupid I feel about that now? Maybe he didn't really encourage me to do things, but he didn't prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn't do thinks because I didn't want him to think different about me. But the thing is, I wasn't being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn't really even know me? I'm one of a kind and he didn't see that, so why should I care what he thinks?"
Her eyes are so gray, he thinks. He can barely swallow, her words are choking him and opening his eyes all at the same time.
Artemis is determined and there is nothing more beautiful than her face at this moment. All fierce lines and confidence and pride.
"So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let anyone affect me like Roy did ever again. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. But right now I'm here with you. And I want to know where you are, what you need, and what you want to do."
For the first time, Wally doesn't need to run to work out his thoughts. He doesn't think about it, doesn't talk about it. If she doesn't like it, she could just say so.
He leans in to her beautiful face and whispers, "I should have done this a long time ago."
Even as he moves closer, she answers him until her lips are brushing against him as she speaks. "Yeah, you should have."
He kisses her. And she kisses him back. And they lay on the bed and keep kissing. And it's soft. And they make quiet noises. And keep silent. And still.
And then something changes, and suddenly their hands are everywhere. They touch from the waist up over their clothes. And then under their clothes. And then without clothes. And it is so beautiful.
She is so beautiful.
He wakes up the next morning to find her already gone and making breakfast with Dick. He joins them in the kitchen and Dick is surprisingly quiet. He gives him a once-over and doesn't crack a single joke, just asks if he wants breakfast.
They eat with Dick and Artemis's parents and no one thinks it's strange at all that Wally stayed the night. It's perfect and he loves her and nothing can ruin this moment.
Everyone shows up soon after breakfast and everyone is ready to say goodbye. Her parents load everything into the van, except for a few things Dick puts in the back of her truck. One by one, Artemis hugs her friends and tells them goodbye. Since she'll be back for the last few days of summer, it feels more like a "see you later" than a goodbye.
Wally's last. Artemis walks up and holds him for a long time in a rare display of public affection. And if someone makes a comment, she only flips them off and holds Wally tighter. Finally she whispers in his ear that she will miss him and how he should take care of himself while she's gone and that when she comes back they will drive through the tunnel again.
"You're my best friend," is all he can say in return.
They smile and she kisses his cheek and leaves his skin feeling raw.
So she climbs into her truck and Dick starts it up and a great song plays on the radio and everyone is smiling. Even Wally. But he doesn't feel like he's there anymore.
It's not until he can't see the van and truck anymore that he comes back.
Wally runs. He runs two months away until Artemis is back.
Dick and Artemis arrive in Artemis's pick-up truck. And they go to dinner like usual, only this time Artemis is telling them all about college. Her eyes are bright as she speaks and Wally watches as she keeps tugging on the ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself.
She talks about college, which sounds exciting. Wally talks about running, which isn't exciting at all. Dick makes jokes to keep everyone honest.
And then it's time to leave and just like Artemis promised before she left, they drive to the tunnel.
About half a mile from the tunnel, Artemis stops the car and Wally climbs into the back. Patrick plays the radio really loud so Wally can hear it, and as they are approaching the tunnel, Wally listens to the music and thinks about all the things people have told him over the past year.
He thinks about Barry telling him he's special. And Iris telling him she loves him. And his mother. And his dad and Bart, too. He thinks about Dick calling him his friend. And he thinks about Artemis. And he thinks about how great it is to have friends and a family.
As they go into the tunnel, he doesn't hold his arms up like he's flying. He just lets the wind rush over his face. And he smiles and laughs and almost wants to cry because it's everything at once. Because he is suddenly very aware of the fact that he's the one standing up in that tunnel with the wind over his face. Not caring if he sees downtown, not even thinking about it.
Because he's standing in the tunnel. And he's really there. And that is enough to make him feel infinite.
I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have to power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.