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i'm jealous of bob. i think that's bad...
but he knows what he wants and then he gets it. it's so simple. i'm sure if i had any idea on earth what i wanted i could get it, too, but i don't... so i don't.
he spends days at his job that he loves and is really really good at. he stays late to get more done and makes a lot more money by doing that--more money for the things he wants (and for me, too ;)). then when he's hangin out on the weekends, he has things he wants to do. he works on an engine for 8 hours just because he wants to and likes to. there's no deadline, no it needs to be done, no responsibilities attached. he just does it.
i spend my days, the few days that i work, at a job that i'm ok at and that i like (on good days). i make minimum wage, and have to work late a lot of times because people are irresponsible, and i do not make a lot more money by doing that. on the days i don't work, i sit around feeling guilty about how i should go to my other job which pays much better. but then when i do go there, there's nothing to do. literally-nothing. so i feel guilty for sitting there browsing facebook and getting paid a lot. so i leave.. when i'm home i put receipts in our checkbook.. when i'm motivated... i even balance it sometimes... except that the balance has been $200 off lately and i can't figure out why. i've gone through it all the way back to may of last year. i dont know why it's off. then i feel sad that it's off by so much and feel overwhelmed because i dont know what to do about it. then i might vaccuum something, or if i'm really motivated i'll wash the dishes or cook or something. but a lot of times i just sit and waste time watching tv or being on the computer... feeling guilty the whole time because there are other things i should be doing. but nothing i like doing. nothing i enjoy doing. nothing that i can do just to do... they're all things that should and probably need to be done. so, what do i do on the weekends? the same thing pretty much... i might go all out and actually clean the bathroom instead of just wiping away the water spots in the sink. i might watch a full movie instead of tv shows.. but again- nothing i like or enjoy doing. the worst part is, i dont know what i'd rather be doing. i could read a book, but i'm so tired all the time my eyes start to hurt and i just want to sleep. then i get sad about not finishing the book and i just stare at it everytime i walk by... wondering what happens next, but never picking it up again.
what do i want?
:(
i guess i'm not really all that jealous of bob.. he does have to deal with me moping around all weekend.. haha
but he knows what he wants and then he gets it. it's so simple. i'm sure if i had any idea on earth what i wanted i could get it, too, but i don't... so i don't.
he spends days at his job that he loves and is really really good at. he stays late to get more done and makes a lot more money by doing that--more money for the things he wants (and for me, too ;)). then when he's hangin out on the weekends, he has things he wants to do. he works on an engine for 8 hours just because he wants to and likes to. there's no deadline, no it needs to be done, no responsibilities attached. he just does it.
i spend my days, the few days that i work, at a job that i'm ok at and that i like (on good days). i make minimum wage, and have to work late a lot of times because people are irresponsible, and i do not make a lot more money by doing that. on the days i don't work, i sit around feeling guilty about how i should go to my other job which pays much better. but then when i do go there, there's nothing to do. literally-nothing. so i feel guilty for sitting there browsing facebook and getting paid a lot. so i leave.. when i'm home i put receipts in our checkbook.. when i'm motivated... i even balance it sometimes... except that the balance has been $200 off lately and i can't figure out why. i've gone through it all the way back to may of last year. i dont know why it's off. then i feel sad that it's off by so much and feel overwhelmed because i dont know what to do about it. then i might vaccuum something, or if i'm really motivated i'll wash the dishes or cook or something. but a lot of times i just sit and waste time watching tv or being on the computer... feeling guilty the whole time because there are other things i should be doing. but nothing i like doing. nothing i enjoy doing. nothing that i can do just to do... they're all things that should and probably need to be done. so, what do i do on the weekends? the same thing pretty much... i might go all out and actually clean the bathroom instead of just wiping away the water spots in the sink. i might watch a full movie instead of tv shows.. but again- nothing i like or enjoy doing. the worst part is, i dont know what i'd rather be doing. i could read a book, but i'm so tired all the time my eyes start to hurt and i just want to sleep. then i get sad about not finishing the book and i just stare at it everytime i walk by... wondering what happens next, but never picking it up again.
what do i want?
:(
i guess i'm not really all that jealous of bob.. he does have to deal with me moping around all weekend.. haha