i just dont get it!
this job is not hard. it does not take brain power. it does not take skill. the only and i do mean the only thing difficult about this job is staring at a stupid computer for more than an hour without your brain exploding. way to solve that problem? only work an hour at a time, take a break, come back to it. it is NOT hard. i cannot cannot cannot function in my brain why or how someone(s) could suck at it so much. yes, it does take patience... yes, you do get better the more you do it, but i mean come on you have only been here 2 or 3 months fewer than me?? i am not your manager nor your supervisor nor your superior nor your babysitter, but i sure feel like it sometimes.. and it's annoyyyyying. i do not like telling people what to do, because they cannot and will not do it right. ... i do not believe people are inherently evil, actually i believe quite the opposite.. however, i do believe some people are inherently stupid.... like me, i mean i dont even know if i'm using inherently correctly or if it's even a real word! oh well.. i'm just frustrated. the maps are moving along SO slowly. tim asked me about health insurance after i get out of school. i wanted to tell him that i would be killing myself slowing if i worked here for more than another year (if that)... but we'll see i guess. maybe it can change? maybe i can change it? i dunno.. my suggestions: make required # of hours per week (i hate the idea, but it would help!), hire more people, train people with examples and lots of help for more than an hour, take management classes-read mgt books. i dunno. anything. arg. at least there's no cubicles here. and the building doesnt shake when people walk by... because people don't walk by! i'm lonelyyyyy heeerrrreeee....... :( oh well!
i'm not really sure what's going on with me lately either.... last night i started crying while i was watching sex and the city. i have no connection to that show.. i watch it maybe twice a month if i happen to be bored enough and it happens to be on a local channel.. heck i dont even know if it's sex AND the city or sex IN the city? i mean yeah i bawled for like a full 24 hours when ross and rachel broke up, but carrie and who..? aiden? whatever.. i started crying. it was so dumb. it was sad though, because she was honest with him and he had to walk away even though he didn't want to. it made me think though.. i don't think i'd be able to... i think that at this point in my life and in our relationship i could forgive bob of doing anything. which sounds crazy because of how unforgiving i was (am) of laura after what she did... i'm pretty sure i would not be able to give up bob because of something like that. but who knows, it's not gonna happen (knock knock) so i guess i cant really say what i would do if it actually did.
maybe i was crying about them because it was somewhat sad and i had cried for like 2 hours earlier. poor bob... i love that man so much. i have no idea why i was crying i mean, come on.. dancing with the stars? not sad... even my two favorites are still in it! and doing well! so who knows.... he is so patient and loving and helpful though. i'm so blessed. so thankful. so happy. and so mad at you guys for using him. so pissed are you who took and take him for granted. and annoyed with him for not standing up for himself. but oh well i guess. some people mature, some don't.. that's just the way it goes, right? ha.. so why cry for two hours on a random monday night? no idea. because i had to go "home" to some random smelly house and bed by myself with a smelly dog? maybe... but that's not two hours worth of saddness geez!
for my first speech in class, i have to talk about something that makes me unique from everyone else.. i know i am unique.. i know there are things very different about me, but nothing i can get up in front of twenty people i dont know and talk about for 5-7 minutes. i'm just not really comfortable with that... :-\
but anyway.. tonight should be fun! going to chicago with my hunny to get something very very very special and exciting!!!!!!! haha :-)