Fanfic: Pitch Black [Chapter 11]
Title: Pitch Black
Author: audcline
Genres: Romance, Drama , Slice of Life
Pairings: YamaChii[main], Tadaiki,Daichi,YamaJima [side pairing]
Rating: rated G
Summary: Yuri lost his reasons to open new doors after an incident during his last year in the University. After that incident he changed. Ever since then, he lived his life in shadows and distance his self from people. Until an unexpected encounter made him take a step out of his shell once again, but what if stepping out of his shell means facing those people who made him feel worthless? What if stepping out of his shell means acceptance of the things that he already closes his eyes for? and what if stepping out of his shell means falling inlove to a person he didn't expect was once became a part of his past life?
"Don't go anywhere... Stay here." Yuri said while clenching his trembling hands at Ryosuke's arms. The coldness of his hands lingers while the expression he is showing, the anxious look in his face slowly sink into him. That was the first time he saw the little one desperately clings to him as if he doesn't want anybody else to get closer to him neither to claim him. It was a selfish self proclamation that even Yuri, has no control of about.
"Yuri?"
What am i doing? This is not right... I know this is my limit, I shouldn't be doing this...NO... not this one- I want to run away from all of this but my feet won't move any inch, my voice fades, my head's all fuzzy, my chest feels like it's going to burst...it's pounding really hard. What should i do? Even Yuto is looking at me...im so embarrassed.
"Yuri are you alright?" the little one slowly and silently lower his head and avoid that confused stare from Ryosuke. The little one shunned that eye contact while tears started to build up at the corner of his eyes. "I-i'm sorry for i-interrupting-" Yuri slowly entangled his hands and felt that slight vertigo trying to devour him, this is not the right timing to have that vertigo but he force his body to move, his petite body shudder as he take one step backward.
"Matte-" a voice broke the silence, " I'll come with you." Ryosuke grab those weak and fragile hands, pull that figure closer in his arms while his eyes were straight enough to strike Yuto's attention.
"R-Ryosuke?" tears fall automatically without any hindrance. His weary heart cheered a little while feeling secure with those large hands securing every inch of him.
"I'll call your manager to come and pick you up. I think it's safer than being with me." Ryosuke dialled the number and quickly give instructions. He hang up the phone and stare at Yuto who knows nothing- dumbfounded at the moment.
"Ryosuke could it be that..." Yuto look at Yuri with that uncertain feelings raging over.
The little one feeling those fingers lightly deepening on his bare skin he couldn't stop from thinking seems like Ryosuke was trying to suppress his feelings. After a few minutes a van stop on the same spot and fetch Yuto. The moment the car isn't visible to their sight Ryosuke heap a deep sigh of relief and break down on his knees.
"R-Ryosuke? A-aren't you feeling well?" Yuri asked worriedly.
"Yokatta!"
"E-eh?!"
Ryosuke pulled Yuri's right hand and hold it warmly and gently.
"Arigatou Yuri."
Our little squirrel's face suddenly turned red and it feel so warm. He is a little stiff but didn't pull his hand. They stayed in that spot, in that position for a while. Drown in that moment where little by little the breeze of that cold wind starts to sink into their system. But if there's something they could cherish in that very moment it is the fact that they remained calm as they face one of their life trial and that's... Listening to their desire not into what is needed.
Working his ass off in his crowded table Yuri couldn't concentrate at all. Ryosuke's presence is a big distraction. Everytime he think of what had happened and what he felt at that moment his heart raises and he couldn't stop thinking about it over and over again. Even the moment he was held by the elder one the warmth of his hands lingers all over his body. Looking at Ryosuke who's proof reading his work his thoughts is all over the place until he heard him sneeze.
"I-I-I'll make some tea..." Yuri's flustered expression made Ryosuke a little bit puzzled. The little one automatically get off from the chair and dash to the kitchen area.
"Arigatou ne Yuri." Ryosuke smirk cutely while enjoying the written works of this little guy.
~**~
It's 11:00 in the evening and Ryosuke have soundly fallen asleep. Yuri on the other hand grab a spare blanket and cover it to him. Standing infront of this guy Yuri focus on his sleeping face, tracing every inch of it until he found his self sinking from the depths of his thoughts.
"I don't know how you can bottle up those feelings as if it's nothing. I can't imagine how hard it must be to loved someone and pretend that you have moved on - liar. "
Ryosuke's POV:
I was first year college when our path crossed again, but at that point seems like he could barely remember who i was. That is why i only watch over him from the distance. I kept myself distance for more than a year. Until a new guy in the University arrived and made my world 360 life changer. I admit defeat because he became Yuri's lover. A guy who just barged in his life but in a short period of time had won his heart. But eversince they entered in a relationship some people in the University doesn't look pleased and they kept on bullying Yuri. During his lovers absence i try to stand up for him. I always help him look after his lost things, i always try my best to lure the bad people who thought of a dirty scheme to embarrass him, I always do those things without him knowing.
Until one time, i met an accident in the University. A pot from the higher floor of the building felt halfway unto my head instead of it falling unto Yuri's. That was the first time he turned his back to look at me. After a long time, he look at me...i was very happy. But i lost my consciousness and got hospitalized after that. In my one week stay at the hospital he never fail to pay a visit. We're able to talk random things and i still remember how cry baby he was when he saw my head with gauze and bandages. It was funny and very heartfelt at the same time.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"It's just that i feel sorry for bringing you so much trouble... because of me you almost lost your life..."
While he continue weeping and endlessly blaming his self to my current situation...
I was considering every seconds with him as if it's my last, I always wanted this moment to happen,
I've been wanting this...so I'm savouring every seconds of it because I'll never get any second time.
"Yuri-" I called out his name.
"Hmmm?" he lifted his head a little while drying his tears.
"Waratte~" and flashed a bright smile on him.
I know that no matter how I want him for myself. This is my limit and - it sucks.
~**~
There's a part of me I can never describe in right words, where no one will ever understand no matter how hard I try to explain. A part, where I know exactly the feeling coz I'm feeling it in every part of my system but I couldn't just say it. I know perfectly how it tears me apart and absolutely know how it's torturing my inner thoughts. The only one thing I'm living every single day is that I am full of heartaches.
…
…
…
"You're like a drug I cannot get rid of, you're my oxygen…my life. But now you're a poison into my system. Trying to destroy my brain, my heart, my whole being. You came into my life like a gush of a wind and then left like a typhoon. But despite of all that destruction you brought into my life…how can you still be there- in my heart and in my mind? How can this love you pinned into my being be such a massive life changer? Just how… Ryutaro?"
"Ryu-chan… I'm not yet ready for this. Can we not do this?" I cried.
"Yuri… you'll be fine. I assure you with this..." he put my hand into his chest and let me feel his heart. It's beating like a drum…loud and clear. While his hand it was trembling but it was warm. And then he kissed my tears away, he kissed every little fears and doubts I have.
"I love you Ryu-chan." I mumbled as I scrape unto that bare flesh.
"I love you too my hime."
…
…
…
In my dreams, I'm being sucked into a whirlpool of memories. There were times that I'm in school laughing and always smiling. There were times that I'm with my parents and brother playing. There were also times where I am alone in the school library reading my favourite books and that alone makes me so happy. And most of the time I'm with this guy holding my hand, touching my face, kissing my lips, brushing my hair with his hand, and whispering words that always put me into good mood. His voice resonates over and over and his warmth lingers all over my body. All of this only him can…only him does. Looking back into those memories I've realized, as a dimensional whirlpool sucked me back to reality that all of those we're just a memory…a very old page of my memory bank.
"Wasn't i a happier person before?"
I woke up from that dream with tears in my eyes… I was so afraid that I wouldn't mind crying at that time. I remember that I've always been alone… whenever I woke up from the same dream over and over again I always find myself alone in this four corner. Nobody hear me cry nor see me in pain. Just like any ordinary day, I woke up today with the same scenario… but this time I was never alone. Someone saw me… he hears me… - he found me. And all this time he was holding me as if he's holding something fragile.
"Yuri-" he called out my name.
"Ryosuke?"
"Waratte~"
And in that very moment I found myself… not alone.
To be continued...
__________________
Author's Afterwords: Hi! This is audcline your author. It's been so long since I last updated fic related post. I was in a semi-hiatus (without any noticed). I'm sorry for leaving you guys especially for leaving you hanging with this fanfic. Honestly, during those times I was inactive here in livejournal I once told myself I think I wouldn't be able to finish Pitch Black. I lost encouragement in writing because I felt like I'm not doing well with this. I just write when it's convenient for me not even thinking about the readers (if there's any) waiting for updates. I was so selfish and I want to sincerely apologize for that. Maybe I was over all distracted since I was a graduating student way back then, and there are so many circumstances arising in lined to family issues. Sometimes I just want to give up from all of this but I know it's not the right thing to do. Everything is confidential so I can't share it with you guys. I don't want to worry you all. I just want to ask prayers from you guys that hopefully all of this things has something wonderful in exchange.
Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate the effort and time invested in reading this chapter. I wish you like the update as much as I do. I'm sorry for any misspelled words, grammatical error and all. NO PROOF READING. I missed you all! *hugs* Comments are loved and critics are fairly appreciated. Bye-bye!
Author: audcline
Genres: Romance, Drama , Slice of Life
Pairings: YamaChii[main], Tadaiki,Daichi,YamaJima [side pairing]
Rating: rated G
Summary: Yuri lost his reasons to open new doors after an incident during his last year in the University. After that incident he changed. Ever since then, he lived his life in shadows and distance his self from people. Until an unexpected encounter made him take a step out of his shell once again, but what if stepping out of his shell means facing those people who made him feel worthless? What if stepping out of his shell means acceptance of the things that he already closes his eyes for? and what if stepping out of his shell means falling inlove to a person he didn't expect was once became a part of his past life?
"Don't go anywhere... Stay here." Yuri said while clenching his trembling hands at Ryosuke's arms. The coldness of his hands lingers while the expression he is showing, the anxious look in his face slowly sink into him. That was the first time he saw the little one desperately clings to him as if he doesn't want anybody else to get closer to him neither to claim him. It was a selfish self proclamation that even Yuri, has no control of about.
"Yuri?"
What am i doing? This is not right... I know this is my limit, I shouldn't be doing this...NO... not this one- I want to run away from all of this but my feet won't move any inch, my voice fades, my head's all fuzzy, my chest feels like it's going to burst...it's pounding really hard. What should i do? Even Yuto is looking at me...im so embarrassed.
"Yuri are you alright?" the little one slowly and silently lower his head and avoid that confused stare from Ryosuke. The little one shunned that eye contact while tears started to build up at the corner of his eyes. "I-i'm sorry for i-interrupting-" Yuri slowly entangled his hands and felt that slight vertigo trying to devour him, this is not the right timing to have that vertigo but he force his body to move, his petite body shudder as he take one step backward.
"Matte-" a voice broke the silence, " I'll come with you." Ryosuke grab those weak and fragile hands, pull that figure closer in his arms while his eyes were straight enough to strike Yuto's attention.
"R-Ryosuke?" tears fall automatically without any hindrance. His weary heart cheered a little while feeling secure with those large hands securing every inch of him.
"I'll call your manager to come and pick you up. I think it's safer than being with me." Ryosuke dialled the number and quickly give instructions. He hang up the phone and stare at Yuto who knows nothing- dumbfounded at the moment.
"Ryosuke could it be that..." Yuto look at Yuri with that uncertain feelings raging over.
The little one feeling those fingers lightly deepening on his bare skin he couldn't stop from thinking seems like Ryosuke was trying to suppress his feelings. After a few minutes a van stop on the same spot and fetch Yuto. The moment the car isn't visible to their sight Ryosuke heap a deep sigh of relief and break down on his knees.
"R-Ryosuke? A-aren't you feeling well?" Yuri asked worriedly.
"Yokatta!"
"E-eh?!"
Ryosuke pulled Yuri's right hand and hold it warmly and gently.
"Arigatou Yuri."
Our little squirrel's face suddenly turned red and it feel so warm. He is a little stiff but didn't pull his hand. They stayed in that spot, in that position for a while. Drown in that moment where little by little the breeze of that cold wind starts to sink into their system. But if there's something they could cherish in that very moment it is the fact that they remained calm as they face one of their life trial and that's... Listening to their desire not into what is needed.
Working his ass off in his crowded table Yuri couldn't concentrate at all. Ryosuke's presence is a big distraction. Everytime he think of what had happened and what he felt at that moment his heart raises and he couldn't stop thinking about it over and over again. Even the moment he was held by the elder one the warmth of his hands lingers all over his body. Looking at Ryosuke who's proof reading his work his thoughts is all over the place until he heard him sneeze.
"I-I-I'll make some tea..." Yuri's flustered expression made Ryosuke a little bit puzzled. The little one automatically get off from the chair and dash to the kitchen area.
"Arigatou ne Yuri." Ryosuke smirk cutely while enjoying the written works of this little guy.
~**~
It's 11:00 in the evening and Ryosuke have soundly fallen asleep. Yuri on the other hand grab a spare blanket and cover it to him. Standing infront of this guy Yuri focus on his sleeping face, tracing every inch of it until he found his self sinking from the depths of his thoughts.
"I don't know how you can bottle up those feelings as if it's nothing. I can't imagine how hard it must be to loved someone and pretend that you have moved on - liar. "
Ryosuke's POV:
I was first year college when our path crossed again, but at that point seems like he could barely remember who i was. That is why i only watch over him from the distance. I kept myself distance for more than a year. Until a new guy in the University arrived and made my world 360 life changer. I admit defeat because he became Yuri's lover. A guy who just barged in his life but in a short period of time had won his heart. But eversince they entered in a relationship some people in the University doesn't look pleased and they kept on bullying Yuri. During his lovers absence i try to stand up for him. I always help him look after his lost things, i always try my best to lure the bad people who thought of a dirty scheme to embarrass him, I always do those things without him knowing.
Until one time, i met an accident in the University. A pot from the higher floor of the building felt halfway unto my head instead of it falling unto Yuri's. That was the first time he turned his back to look at me. After a long time, he look at me...i was very happy. But i lost my consciousness and got hospitalized after that. In my one week stay at the hospital he never fail to pay a visit. We're able to talk random things and i still remember how cry baby he was when he saw my head with gauze and bandages. It was funny and very heartfelt at the same time.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"It's just that i feel sorry for bringing you so much trouble... because of me you almost lost your life..."
While he continue weeping and endlessly blaming his self to my current situation...
I was considering every seconds with him as if it's my last, I always wanted this moment to happen,
I've been wanting this...so I'm savouring every seconds of it because I'll never get any second time.
"Yuri-" I called out his name.
"Hmmm?" he lifted his head a little while drying his tears.
"Waratte~" and flashed a bright smile on him.
I know that no matter how I want him for myself. This is my limit and - it sucks.
~**~
There's a part of me I can never describe in right words, where no one will ever understand no matter how hard I try to explain. A part, where I know exactly the feeling coz I'm feeling it in every part of my system but I couldn't just say it. I know perfectly how it tears me apart and absolutely know how it's torturing my inner thoughts. The only one thing I'm living every single day is that I am full of heartaches.
…
…
…
"You're like a drug I cannot get rid of, you're my oxygen…my life. But now you're a poison into my system. Trying to destroy my brain, my heart, my whole being. You came into my life like a gush of a wind and then left like a typhoon. But despite of all that destruction you brought into my life…how can you still be there- in my heart and in my mind? How can this love you pinned into my being be such a massive life changer? Just how… Ryutaro?"
"Ryu-chan… I'm not yet ready for this. Can we not do this?" I cried.
"Yuri… you'll be fine. I assure you with this..." he put my hand into his chest and let me feel his heart. It's beating like a drum…loud and clear. While his hand it was trembling but it was warm. And then he kissed my tears away, he kissed every little fears and doubts I have.
"I love you Ryu-chan." I mumbled as I scrape unto that bare flesh.
"I love you too my hime."
…
…
…
In my dreams, I'm being sucked into a whirlpool of memories. There were times that I'm in school laughing and always smiling. There were times that I'm with my parents and brother playing. There were also times where I am alone in the school library reading my favourite books and that alone makes me so happy. And most of the time I'm with this guy holding my hand, touching my face, kissing my lips, brushing my hair with his hand, and whispering words that always put me into good mood. His voice resonates over and over and his warmth lingers all over my body. All of this only him can…only him does. Looking back into those memories I've realized, as a dimensional whirlpool sucked me back to reality that all of those we're just a memory…a very old page of my memory bank.
"Wasn't i a happier person before?"
I woke up from that dream with tears in my eyes… I was so afraid that I wouldn't mind crying at that time. I remember that I've always been alone… whenever I woke up from the same dream over and over again I always find myself alone in this four corner. Nobody hear me cry nor see me in pain. Just like any ordinary day, I woke up today with the same scenario… but this time I was never alone. Someone saw me… he hears me… - he found me. And all this time he was holding me as if he's holding something fragile.
"Yuri-" he called out my name.
"Ryosuke?"
"Waratte~"
And in that very moment I found myself… not alone.
To be continued...
__________________
Author's Afterwords: Hi! This is audcline your author. It's been so long since I last updated fic related post. I was in a semi-hiatus (without any noticed). I'm sorry for leaving you guys especially for leaving you hanging with this fanfic. Honestly, during those times I was inactive here in livejournal I once told myself I think I wouldn't be able to finish Pitch Black. I lost encouragement in writing because I felt like I'm not doing well with this. I just write when it's convenient for me not even thinking about the readers (if there's any) waiting for updates. I was so selfish and I want to sincerely apologize for that. Maybe I was over all distracted since I was a graduating student way back then, and there are so many circumstances arising in lined to family issues. Sometimes I just want to give up from all of this but I know it's not the right thing to do. Everything is confidential so I can't share it with you guys. I don't want to worry you all. I just want to ask prayers from you guys that hopefully all of this things has something wonderful in exchange.
Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate the effort and time invested in reading this chapter. I wish you like the update as much as I do. I'm sorry for any misspelled words, grammatical error and all. NO PROOF READING. I missed you all! *hugs* Comments are loved and critics are fairly appreciated. Bye-bye!