Fanfic: Pitch Black [Chapter 9]
Title: Pitch Black
Author: audcline
Genres: Romance, Drama , Slice of Life
Pairings: YamaChii[main], Tadaiki,Daichi,YamaJima [side pairing]
Rating: rated G
Summary: Yuri lost his reasons to open new doors after an incident during his last year in the University. After that incident he changed. Ever since then, he lived his life in shadows and distance his self from people. Until an unexpected encounter made him take a step out of his shell once again, but what if stepping out of his shell means facing those people who made him feel worthless? What if stepping out of his shell means acceptance of the things that he already closes his eyes for? and what if stepping out of his shell means falling inlove to a person he didn't expect was once became a part of his past life?
It's already been a week since they started their mission. They've been to different companies and yet been rejected many times. Ryosuke and Yuri leave the company building with a heavy heart. That's the nth time that they were rejected.
"What's wrong with this people? How could they reject those stories you wrote, are they blind?" Ryosuke was so irritated but didn't let his composure break down. "Maybe it's not yet the right time..." he murmured and the irritation written all over his face transcend into a cute and child like personality. "Want to grab something sweet today Yuri? Like cake or crepes?" the elder one convinced the little one "My treat of course!" he smiled.
"I'm going home." Yuri said with a glint on his eyes as if he's pitying his self for what happened.
"Don't you find it suffocating when you are at home? Life needs to be explore and enjoy not only in that four corner of your apartment. We wake up in the morning thinking what to do outside not what not to do. We don't set limitations to the things we love unless we start hurting people unconsciously. You get it?" Ryosuke starts a casual lecture based on his personal opinion.
"I don't find it suffocating at all. Staying in that small room... feels more safer." the little one said.
" Are you afraid that people will hurt you?" Ryosuke give a follow up question.
Yuri tighten his fist into a ball a sign that everything that Ryosuke is trying to question are true enough to pinch a part of his life. "I don't need to answer your questions. You don't need to know. It's enough. I'm tired. " the little one couldn't bear it anymore that's why he run away feeling hopeless and leave Ryosuke who just watch him get lost in the crowd.. The elder one glimpse up at the sky and saw how the beautiful clouds turn into a palette of gray.
"I wonder if he has umbrella..." Ryosuke murmured.
On the other hand, Yuri end up to an empty park. He felt as though all his energy has been drained because of that hurtful reality. One of the reason why he hate exploring the world- he hates rejection. More likely the feeling he get when something which he put his hopes a little high never make it- everything about it collapsed like a domino.
...
...
Flashback:
During my 3rd year in the University I met this guy in a very unexpected circumstance. He was a tranferee who instantly captured the heart of every girls in the class. He is undeniably good looking and very friendly too. Most of the time he spent his time playing soccer with his friends and go out with them if they have spare time. Just like any average guy who's enjoying their youth he didn't missed attending some blind dates. And because of his overflowing popularity i told myself that i will never get near to that guy. But something that is totally absurd happened and put me into an upside down.
End...
...
...
"Why does life play it harder for me? It's unfair."
"Yuri is that you?" a very familiar voice called out his name which made him come back to his senses. The rain pours really hard that day. Yuri didn't noticed that he's already soaked until this guy came and covered him with his umbrella.
"Arioka-san-" the little one lifted his chin a little and look at him. He look pale and very weak and without any further action Yuri suddenly faints.
...
...
Flashback...
"I didn't know how it happened but...even i, could not believed that this guy is already my lover- my first love. Falling for this guy is not impossible, that is what i learned from the time we became what we are now. For some reason i saw something deep in him. Everytime i am with him i felt as though i am always in peace which i admit i judged about him at first. I always wanted this relationship to be in private but since he is a heartthrob and very popular i need to deal with things such as verbal abuse and physical anguish from different people who's inferior into this relationship."
End...
"Hounto gomen... I'll make it up on my next shift...Bye!" Arioka hung up the phone and walk to the sofa where Yuri is actually lying down. It's already 3 in the afternoon and he didn't attend his work for that day because he is actually taking care of a patient in his apartment. After a minute or so Yuri slowly open his eyes and the bright light of the room hurt his eyes, followed by a cough Arioka immediately come to Yuri's need.
"Yuri how are you feeling now?" Arioka ask while pressing his hand gently on Yuri's forehead. The little one get startled and he could feel his heart beat faster than before.
"W-what am i doing here?" the little one asked curiously.
"You fainted at the Park. Over fatigue i guess?"
Yuri remember what happened and immediately carry his self into a sit. Arioka being too caring he helped him sit comfortably.
"I am sorry Arioka-san. I am sorry for bringing you trouble." Yuri apologized with all his heart.
"What are you saying Yuri? You don't need to apologize. You did not do anything wrong. Please lift your head up. Please..." Arioka said worriedly.
Tears started to fall freely from Yuri's eyes. Even though he is not yet completely well he couldn't stop from feeling like a total burden to the people around him. Once he messed up he can't bear the consequences it brings to people. It just thorn him apart.
After a moment of comforting, Yuri felt a lot better and so as with Arioka who helped him. Both of them are feeling cozy in the sofa while drinking their warm tea.
"Yuri...can i ask you a question?" Arioka asked permission.
"Hmm? About what?" Yuri respond.
"When i saw you at the Park soaked from the rain, the time you lift your head and looked at me... I just felt like you're trying to bear something? What happened?" he asked without any follow up questions.
"Have you ever been rejected?...rejected by that dream you've been chasing over and over?... You've been rejected ones but feels like the world also rejected you. It feels like nothing is right anymore... Even you, yourself is not good enough." Yuri felt solitary while sharing what he feels to Arioka who stay beside him lending his time generously.
~**~
Ryosuke went to the studio because of a sudden phone call from his manager. There he saw that they're having a mini party. He has no idea what's happening until he saw this very familiar figure that suddenly approached him. It was Takaki who just arrived from his trip to Barcelona. A surprised indeed since Ryosuke have been very occupied lately that he almost forget that it's already been a week. This two buddies started teasing each other until the fun was interrupted by a very familiar voice.
"Am i missing some fun here?" Yuto Nakajima asked and smile at them.
"Oh! Yuto...you came. Thank you. " Takaki didn't expect that Yuto made it today despite of his hectic schedule. "I appreciate it." he added and embrace his friend.
Suddenly, Yuto and Ryosuke's eyes met for a second and build a very uncomfortable atmosphere. They quickly put their attention to other thing and pretend that it never happened. Ryosuke take the first move to get away from the tension that is starting to build up between them. While Yuto secretly glance at him for the second time he cannot help but to feel something painful inside his chest.
Around 7pm, the welcome party that the staff thrown for Takaki ended peacefully. The elder one told Ryosuke to come with him first to his younger brother's apartment so that he could finally meet him. While waiting for Takaki outside the building, Ryosuke send Yuri a message.
...From: Ryosuke
Subject: I miss you Baa-chan
To: Yuri
Why aren't you answering my calls? Please call once you received my message.
...
After sending that message he look at the night sky filled with dark clouds. Starting to drift away from his thoughts he was distracted by a scent that he was very familiar with. A scent that has an equal amount of strong yet calming aroma.
"It would be alarming if a group of paparazzi saw you talking to me- Yuto." Ryosuke said while trying to conceal what he really feel inside. Calling his name after a while felt uncomfortable after all the damaged that it cause.
"I know...but-" a strong face suddenly turn into a very soft one. Yuto bow his head while trying to control his strong feelings towards Ryosuke. After all, they are close friends.
"Don't give me that "i want to cry look." Ryosuke said and patted the tall guys' head with all his heart. What follows was a complete silence.
...
"It felt as though we'd be always together,
...although its obvious that...
...we all have our paths to walk and different futures of our own."
...
"Ne, Arioka-san."
"Hmm?"
"What kind of person is Ryosuke? What i know is that you're best of friends for quite long." Yuri asked.
"Getting curious all of a sudden? Don't tell me-"
"N-No. It's not that... There's no way it will be that." the little one confirmed. His face turned red and feels warm which made Arioka smile all of a sudden. "It's just that...he's never relied on others. He's always helping me with things, but i never get to help him." Yuri frown feeling useless.
"Right...hmm...we'll that's fine isn't it? " Arioka affirmed.
"Huh? You think so?"
"I'm sure he doesn't mind." Arioka said with the assurance in his expression. They've been friends since grade school that is why for sure he know him better than anyone. After sometime Arioka decided to accompany Yuri on his way to his apartment. While walking in that illuminated empty street, synchronizing every steps, the elder one look at Yuri and seem to be pleased with the moment they have spent together. He smile genuinely and pull away that look when the little one stare at him as well.
"Eh? W-why are you smiling Arioka-san? Do i have dirt on my face?"
Arioka shake his head lightly and said, "Seems like Ryosuke is becoming a special person in your life..."
"H-huh?" Yuri suddenly felt that electrifying feeling when he heard those words from Arioka. That was the first time it happened and so he immediately turned into a hot pot.
"Well, at least for me."
"W-what makes you think t-that way Arioka-san?." Yuri mumbled while feeling confused with the words suddenly thrown at him.
"Hmm... intuition?"
The weather was good that night. It was one of those peaceful night where you could just sit on your chair and read your favorite book until you drift off to your ultimate dream. Exactly infront of Yuri's apartment room, he thanked Arioka for taking care of him but before he even bid his farewell for that night, a very familiar voice called out his name which make both him and Arioka turned their head on the side.
"Yuri tadai ma!" Takaki smiled and open his arms wide open.
"Nii-chan?" Yuri exclaimed and quickly clings on his elder brother who surprised him big time.
"N-nii-chan?" Arioka and Ryosuke were in a big surprised.
"R-Ryosuke w-what are you doing here?" Yuri asked.
"You are Takaki's younger sibling?" Ryosuke questioned.
"Y-you..." Takaki pinned a stare on Arioka.
"T-takaki?" the little one utterly said.
Flashback...
"Two months. It only last two months. Eversince we entered to that circle everyday became a survival game for both of us. There are moments where we feel safe and moments where we feel the urge to end the relationship before we suffer more and more. We could barely enjoy being with the presence of each other because every sharp words stabbed us at the back and every death glare buried us to our graves, One wrong move and one of us will suffer.
However, in that same path, with the same person holding my hand I never thought that something as big as this thing was foolish lies. Lies that we're built to hurt someone, to torture someone, to change someone into something worst and leave him in despair.
"Yuri... Try to erase me from your memory..."
Those are the last words I heard from him. Words that i know will always...forever... make my life miserable. Tears filled every passing second as i drift into those words and killed every hopes. My heart breaks. I died there as i grasp slowly into thin air.
"...Ryutaro...doushite?"
To be continued...
_____________________
Author's Afterwords: Hello guys! It's been a while. Here's the latest chapter of Pitch Black which flashbacked the fragments of memories Yuri has during the time he's in the University. Did i surprised you about Ryutaro appearing in this chapter? Honestly, i've been waiting for this day to come for me to officially exposed Ryutaro's identity. You will understand more of Ryutaro's significance in Yuri's life as the story goes on. I know the love feeling between our protagonist aren't showing yet... I hope you're not getting bored reading and waiting. It's coming soon. ^____________^
Anyway, thank you for reading and my apologies for any grammatical errors and typos.
Comments are sure motivating and love. Critics are well-appreciated.
Author: audcline
Genres: Romance, Drama , Slice of Life
Pairings: YamaChii[main], Tadaiki,Daichi,YamaJima [side pairing]
Rating: rated G
Summary: Yuri lost his reasons to open new doors after an incident during his last year in the University. After that incident he changed. Ever since then, he lived his life in shadows and distance his self from people. Until an unexpected encounter made him take a step out of his shell once again, but what if stepping out of his shell means facing those people who made him feel worthless? What if stepping out of his shell means acceptance of the things that he already closes his eyes for? and what if stepping out of his shell means falling inlove to a person he didn't expect was once became a part of his past life?
It's already been a week since they started their mission. They've been to different companies and yet been rejected many times. Ryosuke and Yuri leave the company building with a heavy heart. That's the nth time that they were rejected.
"What's wrong with this people? How could they reject those stories you wrote, are they blind?" Ryosuke was so irritated but didn't let his composure break down. "Maybe it's not yet the right time..." he murmured and the irritation written all over his face transcend into a cute and child like personality. "Want to grab something sweet today Yuri? Like cake or crepes?" the elder one convinced the little one "My treat of course!" he smiled.
"I'm going home." Yuri said with a glint on his eyes as if he's pitying his self for what happened.
"Don't you find it suffocating when you are at home? Life needs to be explore and enjoy not only in that four corner of your apartment. We wake up in the morning thinking what to do outside not what not to do. We don't set limitations to the things we love unless we start hurting people unconsciously. You get it?" Ryosuke starts a casual lecture based on his personal opinion.
"I don't find it suffocating at all. Staying in that small room... feels more safer." the little one said.
" Are you afraid that people will hurt you?" Ryosuke give a follow up question.
Yuri tighten his fist into a ball a sign that everything that Ryosuke is trying to question are true enough to pinch a part of his life. "I don't need to answer your questions. You don't need to know. It's enough. I'm tired. " the little one couldn't bear it anymore that's why he run away feeling hopeless and leave Ryosuke who just watch him get lost in the crowd.. The elder one glimpse up at the sky and saw how the beautiful clouds turn into a palette of gray.
"I wonder if he has umbrella..." Ryosuke murmured.
On the other hand, Yuri end up to an empty park. He felt as though all his energy has been drained because of that hurtful reality. One of the reason why he hate exploring the world- he hates rejection. More likely the feeling he get when something which he put his hopes a little high never make it- everything about it collapsed like a domino.
...
...
Flashback:
During my 3rd year in the University I met this guy in a very unexpected circumstance. He was a tranferee who instantly captured the heart of every girls in the class. He is undeniably good looking and very friendly too. Most of the time he spent his time playing soccer with his friends and go out with them if they have spare time. Just like any average guy who's enjoying their youth he didn't missed attending some blind dates. And because of his overflowing popularity i told myself that i will never get near to that guy. But something that is totally absurd happened and put me into an upside down.
End...
...
...
"Why does life play it harder for me? It's unfair."
"Yuri is that you?" a very familiar voice called out his name which made him come back to his senses. The rain pours really hard that day. Yuri didn't noticed that he's already soaked until this guy came and covered him with his umbrella.
"Arioka-san-" the little one lifted his chin a little and look at him. He look pale and very weak and without any further action Yuri suddenly faints.
...
...
Flashback...
"I didn't know how it happened but...even i, could not believed that this guy is already my lover- my first love. Falling for this guy is not impossible, that is what i learned from the time we became what we are now. For some reason i saw something deep in him. Everytime i am with him i felt as though i am always in peace which i admit i judged about him at first. I always wanted this relationship to be in private but since he is a heartthrob and very popular i need to deal with things such as verbal abuse and physical anguish from different people who's inferior into this relationship."
End...
"Hounto gomen... I'll make it up on my next shift...Bye!" Arioka hung up the phone and walk to the sofa where Yuri is actually lying down. It's already 3 in the afternoon and he didn't attend his work for that day because he is actually taking care of a patient in his apartment. After a minute or so Yuri slowly open his eyes and the bright light of the room hurt his eyes, followed by a cough Arioka immediately come to Yuri's need.
"Yuri how are you feeling now?" Arioka ask while pressing his hand gently on Yuri's forehead. The little one get startled and he could feel his heart beat faster than before.
"W-what am i doing here?" the little one asked curiously.
"You fainted at the Park. Over fatigue i guess?"
Yuri remember what happened and immediately carry his self into a sit. Arioka being too caring he helped him sit comfortably.
"I am sorry Arioka-san. I am sorry for bringing you trouble." Yuri apologized with all his heart.
"What are you saying Yuri? You don't need to apologize. You did not do anything wrong. Please lift your head up. Please..." Arioka said worriedly.
Tears started to fall freely from Yuri's eyes. Even though he is not yet completely well he couldn't stop from feeling like a total burden to the people around him. Once he messed up he can't bear the consequences it brings to people. It just thorn him apart.
After a moment of comforting, Yuri felt a lot better and so as with Arioka who helped him. Both of them are feeling cozy in the sofa while drinking their warm tea.
"Yuri...can i ask you a question?" Arioka asked permission.
"Hmm? About what?" Yuri respond.
"When i saw you at the Park soaked from the rain, the time you lift your head and looked at me... I just felt like you're trying to bear something? What happened?" he asked without any follow up questions.
"Have you ever been rejected?...rejected by that dream you've been chasing over and over?... You've been rejected ones but feels like the world also rejected you. It feels like nothing is right anymore... Even you, yourself is not good enough." Yuri felt solitary while sharing what he feels to Arioka who stay beside him lending his time generously.
~**~
Ryosuke went to the studio because of a sudden phone call from his manager. There he saw that they're having a mini party. He has no idea what's happening until he saw this very familiar figure that suddenly approached him. It was Takaki who just arrived from his trip to Barcelona. A surprised indeed since Ryosuke have been very occupied lately that he almost forget that it's already been a week. This two buddies started teasing each other until the fun was interrupted by a very familiar voice.
"Am i missing some fun here?" Yuto Nakajima asked and smile at them.
"Oh! Yuto...you came. Thank you. " Takaki didn't expect that Yuto made it today despite of his hectic schedule. "I appreciate it." he added and embrace his friend.
Suddenly, Yuto and Ryosuke's eyes met for a second and build a very uncomfortable atmosphere. They quickly put their attention to other thing and pretend that it never happened. Ryosuke take the first move to get away from the tension that is starting to build up between them. While Yuto secretly glance at him for the second time he cannot help but to feel something painful inside his chest.
Around 7pm, the welcome party that the staff thrown for Takaki ended peacefully. The elder one told Ryosuke to come with him first to his younger brother's apartment so that he could finally meet him. While waiting for Takaki outside the building, Ryosuke send Yuri a message.
...From: Ryosuke
Subject: I miss you Baa-chan
To: Yuri
Why aren't you answering my calls? Please call once you received my message.
...
After sending that message he look at the night sky filled with dark clouds. Starting to drift away from his thoughts he was distracted by a scent that he was very familiar with. A scent that has an equal amount of strong yet calming aroma.
"It would be alarming if a group of paparazzi saw you talking to me- Yuto." Ryosuke said while trying to conceal what he really feel inside. Calling his name after a while felt uncomfortable after all the damaged that it cause.
"I know...but-" a strong face suddenly turn into a very soft one. Yuto bow his head while trying to control his strong feelings towards Ryosuke. After all, they are close friends.
"Don't give me that "i want to cry look." Ryosuke said and patted the tall guys' head with all his heart. What follows was a complete silence.
...
"It felt as though we'd be always together,
...although its obvious that...
...we all have our paths to walk and different futures of our own."
...
"Ne, Arioka-san."
"Hmm?"
"What kind of person is Ryosuke? What i know is that you're best of friends for quite long." Yuri asked.
"Getting curious all of a sudden? Don't tell me-"
"N-No. It's not that... There's no way it will be that." the little one confirmed. His face turned red and feels warm which made Arioka smile all of a sudden. "It's just that...he's never relied on others. He's always helping me with things, but i never get to help him." Yuri frown feeling useless.
"Right...hmm...we'll that's fine isn't it? " Arioka affirmed.
"Huh? You think so?"
"I'm sure he doesn't mind." Arioka said with the assurance in his expression. They've been friends since grade school that is why for sure he know him better than anyone. After sometime Arioka decided to accompany Yuri on his way to his apartment. While walking in that illuminated empty street, synchronizing every steps, the elder one look at Yuri and seem to be pleased with the moment they have spent together. He smile genuinely and pull away that look when the little one stare at him as well.
"Eh? W-why are you smiling Arioka-san? Do i have dirt on my face?"
Arioka shake his head lightly and said, "Seems like Ryosuke is becoming a special person in your life..."
"H-huh?" Yuri suddenly felt that electrifying feeling when he heard those words from Arioka. That was the first time it happened and so he immediately turned into a hot pot.
"Well, at least for me."
"W-what makes you think t-that way Arioka-san?." Yuri mumbled while feeling confused with the words suddenly thrown at him.
"Hmm... intuition?"
The weather was good that night. It was one of those peaceful night where you could just sit on your chair and read your favorite book until you drift off to your ultimate dream. Exactly infront of Yuri's apartment room, he thanked Arioka for taking care of him but before he even bid his farewell for that night, a very familiar voice called out his name which make both him and Arioka turned their head on the side.
"Yuri tadai ma!" Takaki smiled and open his arms wide open.
"Nii-chan?" Yuri exclaimed and quickly clings on his elder brother who surprised him big time.
"N-nii-chan?" Arioka and Ryosuke were in a big surprised.
"R-Ryosuke w-what are you doing here?" Yuri asked.
"You are Takaki's younger sibling?" Ryosuke questioned.
"Y-you..." Takaki pinned a stare on Arioka.
"T-takaki?" the little one utterly said.
Flashback...
"Two months. It only last two months. Eversince we entered to that circle everyday became a survival game for both of us. There are moments where we feel safe and moments where we feel the urge to end the relationship before we suffer more and more. We could barely enjoy being with the presence of each other because every sharp words stabbed us at the back and every death glare buried us to our graves, One wrong move and one of us will suffer.
However, in that same path, with the same person holding my hand I never thought that something as big as this thing was foolish lies. Lies that we're built to hurt someone, to torture someone, to change someone into something worst and leave him in despair.
"Yuri... Try to erase me from your memory..."
Those are the last words I heard from him. Words that i know will always...forever... make my life miserable. Tears filled every passing second as i drift into those words and killed every hopes. My heart breaks. I died there as i grasp slowly into thin air.
"...Ryutaro...doushite?"
To be continued...
_____________________
Author's Afterwords: Hello guys! It's been a while. Here's the latest chapter of Pitch Black which flashbacked the fragments of memories Yuri has during the time he's in the University. Did i surprised you about Ryutaro appearing in this chapter? Honestly, i've been waiting for this day to come for me to officially exposed Ryutaro's identity. You will understand more of Ryutaro's significance in Yuri's life as the story goes on. I know the love feeling between our protagonist aren't showing yet... I hope you're not getting bored reading and waiting. It's coming soon. ^____________^
Anyway, thank you for reading and my apologies for any grammatical errors and typos.
Comments are sure motivating and love. Critics are well-appreciated.