FIC; I Will Promise To Try
Demilena
DARK[butwithahappyending]FIC
R
Fear.
What did it really mean? The feeling you get when you see a spider, or a scary movie? That was the definition that was in Selena's head until her seventeenth birthday. She had waited for hours at the mall for Demi, and she was about to make a frustrated phone call to her best friend when the phone buzzed, indication an incoming call.
"Have you seen Demi?" Dallas' voice was frantic.
"She was supposed to meet me at the mall for birthday dinner and a movie about two hours ago. Why?"
"Her and mom got into a huge fight about something.. and she took off. She didn't take her phone and no one has seen her. I'm really worried.. she was really upset.. mom said a ton of things she really shouldn't have.. Lena, her knife is missing."
"I'll find her, I promise," she whispered before ending the call.
Fear.
It was not knowing where your suicidal best friend was.
---
Abandonment.
What did it really mean? The feeling of being stood up when you were supposed to meet up? That was the definition that was in Demi's head until her best friends seventeenth birthday. She was going to meet up with her at the movies and treat her to a flick and food, but then she had decided to do the stupidest thing on earth.
"Mom, I'm a lesbian."
Dianna had looked up from the paper, the look on her face clearly saying she thought she had misheard her daughter. "What?"
"I am a lesbian."
Smiling, she went back to her paper. "Funny."
Dallas discreetly removed one of her headphones, her eyes not leaving the notebook in front of her. Demi could tell her sister was ready to defend her if need be. "I'm not being funny, mom. I am being serious. I am a lesbian."
"No child of mine would be.. that.."
Demi stood her ground as Dianna raised herself up, looking at the sixteen year old. "Wrong. I am. I've been trying to think of ways to tell you, and I just decided to say it."
"Get out."
"What?" Dallas asked, finally entering into the conversation.
"Get out of my house," she said, her voice even, eyes locked with Demi's. "I refuse to have a disgrace living under my roof."
"Mom!" Dallas yelled, turning her mother towards her. "Think about this.."
"There is nothing to think about. Demetria, I want you out of my house. Now."
"Make. Me."
"Don't test me," she snapped.
Demi let a smug look slide over her face.
"If you are not out of my house in the next five seconds I will force you out."
"Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me you wish I was dead, that I was never born."
Dianna took a step closer to her middle daughter. "I never want to see your face again. I wish you were dead. I wish you were never born."
Nodding, Demi backed out of the room. "Alright."
---
Death.
Suburban developments. Not yet finished houses, loosely guarded at three in the morning. Normally, Demi would be wondering if anyone had even noticed she had disappeared, but right now, it didn't matter. She looked up at the rope hanging loosely from the rafters of this would-be attic. Sturdy.
As she stood, the moonlight glinted off the edge of the knife, revealing the darkness of blood dripping from its edge. A smirk on her face, she felt a sense of pride in herself as all the pain left her body. By the time dawn arose, she wouldn't be a disgrace to her mother. She wouldn't be the worlds worst best friend. She wouldn't be anything more than a memory.
This was it.
---
Life.
Footsteps pounding up the hollow stairs. Frantic breathing mixed with loud sobs. A knife cutting the rope. Falling.. not to the floor, but to warm safe arms.
Her eyes didn't open. She didn't have to open them to know. The whispers of her name as she was held, the sound of fabric ripping before being wrapped tightly around the bleeding wrist.
"Don't."
The word was a plea that forced Demi to open her eyes. To see what she had done.
---
Pain.
Heartbreak was often described to the two of them as something closely resembling someone stabbing your forearm with a needle.
If asked to describe the pain she felt when she had to cut her barely breathing best friend from a rafter, she would compare it to someone dipping her whole body into a vat of liquid nitrogen before throwing her off of the Brooklyn Bridge.
If asked to descibe the pain she saw in Selena's eyes as she lie there, her wounds bandaged, her neck bruised, Demi would compare it to someone throwing her in front of a semi truck going one hundred miles and hour down the freeway.
Two different comparisons, the same pain.
Demi had meant to hurt only herself, but she knew there was now a pain that would live inside of Selena that she could never fix.
She could never fix it, but she would damn well try.
---
Healing.
It takes time. It takes effort.
It takes nights of calming Demi down when she wakes up screaming.
It takes a very understanding mother and step-father to deal with the screams from down the hall.
It takes energy to not let herself break down as she holds Demi.
It takes a love that has been there from the moment they met.
It takes a love that is going to be there until the day they die, years and years from now.
---
Happiness.
Being able to leave her alone for the first time since that night is hard. Seeing her sleeping on the bed when Selena leaves in the morning, trusting that nothing will go wrong and she will still be there that night. Selena knows that Demi doesn't even realize she has reached her own seventeenth birthday, and just because unfortunate events stopped Selena from having one that made her smile, she was not going to let the same fate befall her best friends.
There was two things she needed. A guitar, and a cupcake.
By that night, she had perfected her plan. When she was ready to be left alone with Demi, after the dinner that Mandy had made them, she had finally stopped shaking. She watched Demi sit on the edge of the bed, smiling emotionlessly at the cupcake.
"If this sounds stupid, laugh. If it doesn't sound stupid, laugh anyways," she whispered, leaning over the candles on the nightstand to press her forehead to her friends.
Remember when we were just seven,
sitting in Crayola heaven..
Remember when we were just eight,
and I asked you on a date..
Remember when we were just nine,
and I asked you to be mine..
Remember when we were just ten,
and I wrote your name on my hand in pen..
Remember when we were just eleven,
getting lost in a world we didn't believe in..
Remember when we were just twelve,
talking about feelings we would shelve..
Remember when we were just thirteen,
and I held you when people were mean..
Remember when we were just fourteen,
and our lives switched from real to screen..
Remember when we were just fifteen,
and I could almost touch you if I would lean..
Remember when we were just sixteen,
and we would spend free days where the grass was green..
Now here we are at seventeen,
and there is only one thing I mean..
When I look in your eyes,
I see forever
How about on this night,
you promise me the rest of your life..
Not today, this month, next year,
but how about forever, stay my dear..
She set the guitar gently on the floor, her eyes resting on the cupcake. "You can blow the candle out and make a wish," she whispered.
"Don't need to," Demi replied, moving around the nightstand to stand in front of Selena. "Stand up, please."
Selena did as she was asked, leaning into Demi's hand as it rested on her cheek.
"When you say this forever stuff.. you won't change your mind?"
"I am in it for as long as you are in it."
Demi leaned forward, her lips brushing gently across Selena's. "I'm not gonna promise forever, but I will try."
"That's all I ask.."
DARK[butwithahappyending]FIC
R
Fear.
What did it really mean? The feeling you get when you see a spider, or a scary movie? That was the definition that was in Selena's head until her seventeenth birthday. She had waited for hours at the mall for Demi, and she was about to make a frustrated phone call to her best friend when the phone buzzed, indication an incoming call.
"Have you seen Demi?" Dallas' voice was frantic.
"She was supposed to meet me at the mall for birthday dinner and a movie about two hours ago. Why?"
"Her and mom got into a huge fight about something.. and she took off. She didn't take her phone and no one has seen her. I'm really worried.. she was really upset.. mom said a ton of things she really shouldn't have.. Lena, her knife is missing."
"I'll find her, I promise," she whispered before ending the call.
Fear.
It was not knowing where your suicidal best friend was.
---
Abandonment.
What did it really mean? The feeling of being stood up when you were supposed to meet up? That was the definition that was in Demi's head until her best friends seventeenth birthday. She was going to meet up with her at the movies and treat her to a flick and food, but then she had decided to do the stupidest thing on earth.
"Mom, I'm a lesbian."
Dianna had looked up from the paper, the look on her face clearly saying she thought she had misheard her daughter. "What?"
"I am a lesbian."
Smiling, she went back to her paper. "Funny."
Dallas discreetly removed one of her headphones, her eyes not leaving the notebook in front of her. Demi could tell her sister was ready to defend her if need be. "I'm not being funny, mom. I am being serious. I am a lesbian."
"No child of mine would be.. that.."
Demi stood her ground as Dianna raised herself up, looking at the sixteen year old. "Wrong. I am. I've been trying to think of ways to tell you, and I just decided to say it."
"Get out."
"What?" Dallas asked, finally entering into the conversation.
"Get out of my house," she said, her voice even, eyes locked with Demi's. "I refuse to have a disgrace living under my roof."
"Mom!" Dallas yelled, turning her mother towards her. "Think about this.."
"There is nothing to think about. Demetria, I want you out of my house. Now."
"Make. Me."
"Don't test me," she snapped.
Demi let a smug look slide over her face.
"If you are not out of my house in the next five seconds I will force you out."
"Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me you wish I was dead, that I was never born."
Dianna took a step closer to her middle daughter. "I never want to see your face again. I wish you were dead. I wish you were never born."
Nodding, Demi backed out of the room. "Alright."
---
Death.
Suburban developments. Not yet finished houses, loosely guarded at three in the morning. Normally, Demi would be wondering if anyone had even noticed she had disappeared, but right now, it didn't matter. She looked up at the rope hanging loosely from the rafters of this would-be attic. Sturdy.
As she stood, the moonlight glinted off the edge of the knife, revealing the darkness of blood dripping from its edge. A smirk on her face, she felt a sense of pride in herself as all the pain left her body. By the time dawn arose, she wouldn't be a disgrace to her mother. She wouldn't be the worlds worst best friend. She wouldn't be anything more than a memory.
This was it.
---
Life.
Footsteps pounding up the hollow stairs. Frantic breathing mixed with loud sobs. A knife cutting the rope. Falling.. not to the floor, but to warm safe arms.
Her eyes didn't open. She didn't have to open them to know. The whispers of her name as she was held, the sound of fabric ripping before being wrapped tightly around the bleeding wrist.
"Don't."
The word was a plea that forced Demi to open her eyes. To see what she had done.
---
Pain.
Heartbreak was often described to the two of them as something closely resembling someone stabbing your forearm with a needle.
If asked to describe the pain she felt when she had to cut her barely breathing best friend from a rafter, she would compare it to someone dipping her whole body into a vat of liquid nitrogen before throwing her off of the Brooklyn Bridge.
If asked to descibe the pain she saw in Selena's eyes as she lie there, her wounds bandaged, her neck bruised, Demi would compare it to someone throwing her in front of a semi truck going one hundred miles and hour down the freeway.
Two different comparisons, the same pain.
Demi had meant to hurt only herself, but she knew there was now a pain that would live inside of Selena that she could never fix.
She could never fix it, but she would damn well try.
---
Healing.
It takes time. It takes effort.
It takes nights of calming Demi down when she wakes up screaming.
It takes a very understanding mother and step-father to deal with the screams from down the hall.
It takes energy to not let herself break down as she holds Demi.
It takes a love that has been there from the moment they met.
It takes a love that is going to be there until the day they die, years and years from now.
---
Happiness.
Being able to leave her alone for the first time since that night is hard. Seeing her sleeping on the bed when Selena leaves in the morning, trusting that nothing will go wrong and she will still be there that night. Selena knows that Demi doesn't even realize she has reached her own seventeenth birthday, and just because unfortunate events stopped Selena from having one that made her smile, she was not going to let the same fate befall her best friends.
There was two things she needed. A guitar, and a cupcake.
By that night, she had perfected her plan. When she was ready to be left alone with Demi, after the dinner that Mandy had made them, she had finally stopped shaking. She watched Demi sit on the edge of the bed, smiling emotionlessly at the cupcake.
"If this sounds stupid, laugh. If it doesn't sound stupid, laugh anyways," she whispered, leaning over the candles on the nightstand to press her forehead to her friends.
Remember when we were just seven,
sitting in Crayola heaven..
Remember when we were just eight,
and I asked you on a date..
Remember when we were just nine,
and I asked you to be mine..
Remember when we were just ten,
and I wrote your name on my hand in pen..
Remember when we were just eleven,
getting lost in a world we didn't believe in..
Remember when we were just twelve,
talking about feelings we would shelve..
Remember when we were just thirteen,
and I held you when people were mean..
Remember when we were just fourteen,
and our lives switched from real to screen..
Remember when we were just fifteen,
and I could almost touch you if I would lean..
Remember when we were just sixteen,
and we would spend free days where the grass was green..
Now here we are at seventeen,
and there is only one thing I mean..
When I look in your eyes,
I see forever
How about on this night,
you promise me the rest of your life..
Not today, this month, next year,
but how about forever, stay my dear..
She set the guitar gently on the floor, her eyes resting on the cupcake. "You can blow the candle out and make a wish," she whispered.
"Don't need to," Demi replied, moving around the nightstand to stand in front of Selena. "Stand up, please."
Selena did as she was asked, leaning into Demi's hand as it rested on her cheek.
"When you say this forever stuff.. you won't change your mind?"
"I am in it for as long as you are in it."
Demi leaned forward, her lips brushing gently across Selena's. "I'm not gonna promise forever, but I will try."
"That's all I ask.."