(no subject)
Well, here I am. I'm so sorry.
A lot of bad things were happening at once. My Mom got very sick. Wrestling practice picked up. My grades took a nose dive. It became very hard to maintain all the things I had going on, so I had to sort of let some things go for a while. Once again I apologize.
I suppose my grades going down was a byproduct of everything else. It started in December, when Mom started to complain that she was feeling weak. When she went to the doctor, it was revealed that she had internal bleeding. The doctor said it wasn't nothing to panic about, so we didn't make a big deal of it. She had gotten a Gastric Bypass a few years earlier, so it was safe to say it was probably just a small complication of that. Has time went on however, she simply became weaker. The tests were useless, they told us nothing.
It was at this point that wrestling practice picked up. I was doing exercises I didn't even know existed for hours a day. Not only could I barely do them, but I was terrible at them. Most of the other members of the team were very nice about it. But I felt like a failure. My paranoia of what they thought of me just worsened the humiliation in my mind. But I refused to quit. I felt like after making the commitment to be there, I owed to myself and to my coach to just keep going.
My classes suddenly felt very hard. Things that were simple to me before seemed like moving mountains. It was all just so... intense.
Then Mom informed she was taking a leave of absence at work until the doctors could figure out how to treat her. She stayed in the house all day. I began to notice that she couldn't walk to the car without stopping to catch her breath. She got up less and less. Until it became painfully clear that she couldn't function anymore. All this happened over a month.
Pat was frustrated by the situation. The smallest thing would set him off. He would yell all the time. Between Pat's yelling at every little thing, and Mom's bitterness, the air at our house felt so toxic I could hardly breath.
On a day that wrestling practice was canceled because of the weather, I managed to make it to an Anime Club meeting. cherryfeather, and ukrazy was there. I hadn't seen them in weeks. It felt good to have fun with them. When club was over, cherryfeather gave me a ride home. I had overslept that morning and forgotten my keys, so when I got there I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I called the house and got nothing. cherryfeather was waiting with me at my door, and offered to take me to her house if there was a problem. I tried calling my Mom's cell phone a few times, when she finally picked up.
She informed that her condition had gotten so bad, she had to be taken to the hospital. I can't fully describe how terrified I felt. cherryfeather offered to have me spend the night at her house. I calmly went with her. But on the car ride their, I just seemed to break. I cried for a long time. I broke. That was it. We had a Star Wars marathon that cheered me up considerably. That night I asked cherryfeather to put my LJ on hiatus while I tried to get everything back together.
I let go of fandom, and friends almost all together for a while. Wrestling practice is slowly getting easier. I feel like I'm getting better at it. It turned out Mom's body wasn't absorbing Iron. She's getting treatments that are slowly getting her better. My grades have picked up. Things are smoother.
I now know more than ever what my friends mean to me.
On that note I end my hiatus with this last message:
ter369,
I have your b-day gift here! I've had it all packaged up for a while, but Mom and Pat have been refusing to take me to the post office for a month! I'll get it there ASAP!!!
And I loved your b-day package! All those gifts were amazing! All of them! I love you!
A lot of bad things were happening at once. My Mom got very sick. Wrestling practice picked up. My grades took a nose dive. It became very hard to maintain all the things I had going on, so I had to sort of let some things go for a while. Once again I apologize.
I suppose my grades going down was a byproduct of everything else. It started in December, when Mom started to complain that she was feeling weak. When she went to the doctor, it was revealed that she had internal bleeding. The doctor said it wasn't nothing to panic about, so we didn't make a big deal of it. She had gotten a Gastric Bypass a few years earlier, so it was safe to say it was probably just a small complication of that. Has time went on however, she simply became weaker. The tests were useless, they told us nothing.
It was at this point that wrestling practice picked up. I was doing exercises I didn't even know existed for hours a day. Not only could I barely do them, but I was terrible at them. Most of the other members of the team were very nice about it. But I felt like a failure. My paranoia of what they thought of me just worsened the humiliation in my mind. But I refused to quit. I felt like after making the commitment to be there, I owed to myself and to my coach to just keep going.
My classes suddenly felt very hard. Things that were simple to me before seemed like moving mountains. It was all just so... intense.
Then Mom informed she was taking a leave of absence at work until the doctors could figure out how to treat her. She stayed in the house all day. I began to notice that she couldn't walk to the car without stopping to catch her breath. She got up less and less. Until it became painfully clear that she couldn't function anymore. All this happened over a month.
Pat was frustrated by the situation. The smallest thing would set him off. He would yell all the time. Between Pat's yelling at every little thing, and Mom's bitterness, the air at our house felt so toxic I could hardly breath.
On a day that wrestling practice was canceled because of the weather, I managed to make it to an Anime Club meeting. cherryfeather, and ukrazy was there. I hadn't seen them in weeks. It felt good to have fun with them. When club was over, cherryfeather gave me a ride home. I had overslept that morning and forgotten my keys, so when I got there I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I called the house and got nothing. cherryfeather was waiting with me at my door, and offered to take me to her house if there was a problem. I tried calling my Mom's cell phone a few times, when she finally picked up.
She informed that her condition had gotten so bad, she had to be taken to the hospital. I can't fully describe how terrified I felt. cherryfeather offered to have me spend the night at her house. I calmly went with her. But on the car ride their, I just seemed to break. I cried for a long time. I broke. That was it. We had a Star Wars marathon that cheered me up considerably. That night I asked cherryfeather to put my LJ on hiatus while I tried to get everything back together.
I let go of fandom, and friends almost all together for a while. Wrestling practice is slowly getting easier. I feel like I'm getting better at it. It turned out Mom's body wasn't absorbing Iron. She's getting treatments that are slowly getting her better. My grades have picked up. Things are smoother.
I now know more than ever what my friends mean to me.
On that note I end my hiatus with this last message:
ter369,
I have your b-day gift here! I've had it all packaged up for a while, but Mom and Pat have been refusing to take me to the post office for a month! I'll get it there ASAP!!!
And I loved your b-day package! All those gifts were amazing! All of them! I love you!