Three Musketeers
I am going to write a review of the new Three Musketeers. If anyone disagrees, that's fine. This is an expression of my opinion.
Let's start with the positive, shall we? The character Planchet was really funny. Every other character, I couldn't connect with at all. They were either shallow, corny, stereotypical or acted very poorly.
I have never read the book, so I really don't know much about the actual storyline. I can say that Dinsey's The Three Musketeers and The Musketeer were completely different storylines. Not even in the same ballpark. I sort of assumed they both took creative licence in very different directions. If that is so, then this movie is very nearly a rip-off of the Disney version without the good actors, clever lines, and good directing. The swordplay was laughably unrealistic. The love stories didn't make a lot of sense. The characters were not loveable and barely had any depth to them. The graphics were also laughable. The king was funny only because of how much of a little twirp he was.
Richelieu hardly felt like a villain to me. He had such a soft voice and demeanor. I would have prefered they switched his actor with the one who played Aremis- the former preist Musketeer- who seemed dark, broody, and creepy. D'Artagnan was played by a guy who seemed to have no acting excperience, as was the Queen. And D'Artagnan's wig could not have been more horrendous.
Oh, I almost forgot the riddiculous throw-ins of state-of-art security systems. Granted, the Queen's necklace was not surrounded by lazer-sensors. Instead it was surrounded by lines of razor-sharp wire through which Milady deWinter had to agily flip while wearing just her courset and garder belt. My question, how is the queen ever able to get to her necklace through all the razor-sharp wires? I guess may, she goes in with a pair of scissors and as soon as she places her necklace back for safe-keeping, some servant re-strings the wire.
Did I mention that two lines were almost direct quotes from The Princess Bride?
My last comment is to Orlando Bloom: What were you thinking? Not only was it a stupid movie which I am shocked they bothered to even make, but he didn't even get first billing. He played Duke Buckingham in four scenes outshined (if you can call it that) by about ten nobodies. It seems to me that they spent all their money on getting Orlando in the movie and didn't have enough left for a decent director, graphics, actors, or writers.
And that's my opinion. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm going to stick to the Disney version which will never be outdone.
Let's start with the positive, shall we? The character Planchet was really funny. Every other character, I couldn't connect with at all. They were either shallow, corny, stereotypical or acted very poorly.
I have never read the book, so I really don't know much about the actual storyline. I can say that Dinsey's The Three Musketeers and The Musketeer were completely different storylines. Not even in the same ballpark. I sort of assumed they both took creative licence in very different directions. If that is so, then this movie is very nearly a rip-off of the Disney version without the good actors, clever lines, and good directing. The swordplay was laughably unrealistic. The love stories didn't make a lot of sense. The characters were not loveable and barely had any depth to them. The graphics were also laughable. The king was funny only because of how much of a little twirp he was.
Richelieu hardly felt like a villain to me. He had such a soft voice and demeanor. I would have prefered they switched his actor with the one who played Aremis- the former preist Musketeer- who seemed dark, broody, and creepy. D'Artagnan was played by a guy who seemed to have no acting excperience, as was the Queen. And D'Artagnan's wig could not have been more horrendous.
Oh, I almost forgot the riddiculous throw-ins of state-of-art security systems. Granted, the Queen's necklace was not surrounded by lazer-sensors. Instead it was surrounded by lines of razor-sharp wire through which Milady deWinter had to agily flip while wearing just her courset and garder belt. My question, how is the queen ever able to get to her necklace through all the razor-sharp wires? I guess may, she goes in with a pair of scissors and as soon as she places her necklace back for safe-keeping, some servant re-strings the wire.
Did I mention that two lines were almost direct quotes from The Princess Bride?
My last comment is to Orlando Bloom: What were you thinking? Not only was it a stupid movie which I am shocked they bothered to even make, but he didn't even get first billing. He played Duke Buckingham in four scenes outshined (if you can call it that) by about ten nobodies. It seems to me that they spent all their money on getting Orlando in the movie and didn't have enough left for a decent director, graphics, actors, or writers.
And that's my opinion. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm going to stick to the Disney version which will never be outdone.