old feeling revisited

[aubroadrunner]

today i read in charitys aim profile something to emily green, that said you'll never know, and being who i am and with my past and just learning that supposedly emily has had a huge crush on charity, i just regressed into a state where i was crying and no matter what i did it didnt go away, and after what happened with charity and ash ley last year, i just regressed into that state where i am scared. I asked charity about it and it was some joke her and emily had but, to me, not that i have anything about gay's but i was brought up as a straight guy and i learned that ya have to worry about losing your girl to another guy, and it is hard to imagine losing your girl to a another girl. i went throught it once and it i had to go through it again seriously i thing i would kill myself, and if anybody knows me that is not something i say or even joke about. but i am fine now i guess i trust my girl, and she knows that i just wish she would watch her wording around me she knows how sensative i am. but it has been a ling time since i wrote in here and it is just good to let this out and since i havent written in a while i figured this is a good come back, as i cant say i totally ever used this for good stuff, but i care about charity so much and if i were to lose her at this point in our relationship i cant imagine how i would take it.

Lastly i want to say that in no way am i putting anybody down with this entry i am just scared as i should be considering allot of charitys friends are gay, and i am straight so i have a right to be worried but in no way am i against the way of life people choose but dont hate me for saying i'd prefer the way i am,

If any questions arise about what i say email me and let me know because i dont want to get on any bad sides and i dont want to hurt feelings but i just care too much as allot of people know and will tell ya

Well i am out Charles