morning birds are singing
i get home from work when the birds are just waking up.
i call people when i'm walking to the subway, on the off chance anyone else is awake and also has a yen to chat at 3am. they rarely are or do.
i really like bartending. i need to find a way to get healthcare that is useful to me, that doesn't involve starbucks anymore. i don't want to keep waking up and hating my life.
speaking of my life, met with dr. shilimova today. she's my gp and my endocrinologist.
she wasn't very happy.
apparently my tsh levels are REALLY high (98. they're supposed to be..like...2). my t4 levels are ok (i may have those two backwards. i always get them messed up) so at least we know it's just me being a putz about taking my meds, and maybe needing a new script.
also, apparently my hemoglobin levels are worryingly low. she spent a good 15 minutes talking with me about how i have to take this iron supplement because it would appear my levels have been so low for so long i'm at risk for causing some body disasters that would result in blood transfusions.
part of me is like: "huh. that's not terribly suprising"
another part of me is thinking: "i'd like a second opinion" *which i can't afford*
but really, what i was thinking as i sat there in her office and she got very passionate about how i need to drink more water, and try to get a more normal schedule, and not miss taking either of my meds and take them at normal times, and how i need to either start taking iron pills (which will invariably make me feel like crap) or this new iron supplement script was:
"this meeting is costing $35. plus the $35 from the last one. the lab fees are $240 total, and i have a month to make the first half of the payment. the script of synthroid i just filled out was $30, and the new one i'm sure i'll be getting next week will also be $30. the dermatologist i'll be going to see is going to cost at least $35, and i have no idea how much that thyroid sonogram is going to cost, but i know at least the visit will be $35. plus the dentist visit later this week, which will probably be $150 if not $300, the $35 i shelled out for my ortho tri, and the $35 i'll have to pay to get my bi-annual cancer screening, and you want me to spend ANOTHER $30/month on iron pills because of something i've never noticed and no previous doctor has mentioned (possibly due to negligence)"
so i less than two weeks i'll be spending AT LEAST $660 just to keep my ass alive, on the meds that keep me alive, and visiting the docs who make sure i don't have various forms of cancer.
and frankly, part of me just thinks "hell aubri. let nature do it's thing. darwin did not love you"
it's costing more to keep me alive for two weeks than it is to fly roundtrip to europe during peak tourist season.
and yeah. i don't exactly have an extra $700 lying around. not with the stunning starbucks salary i'm pulling in *sarcasm*
i'm thinking i'll just go back to my old plan of ignoring it until i can't ignore it anymore. it costs less, i worry less, and everything is better in general. plus, i won't spend as much money on health care.
so, blitzkreig on the docs. i'll get my teeth and eyes done, stock up on synthroid and ortho tri, and cut my ties until i find myself in dire straights again. that seems like a plan. right? right?
yeah. this sucks balls.
i think i'll sleep now and see if there's an answer in the morning.
i call people when i'm walking to the subway, on the off chance anyone else is awake and also has a yen to chat at 3am. they rarely are or do.
i really like bartending. i need to find a way to get healthcare that is useful to me, that doesn't involve starbucks anymore. i don't want to keep waking up and hating my life.
speaking of my life, met with dr. shilimova today. she's my gp and my endocrinologist.
she wasn't very happy.
apparently my tsh levels are REALLY high (98. they're supposed to be..like...2). my t4 levels are ok (i may have those two backwards. i always get them messed up) so at least we know it's just me being a putz about taking my meds, and maybe needing a new script.
also, apparently my hemoglobin levels are worryingly low. she spent a good 15 minutes talking with me about how i have to take this iron supplement because it would appear my levels have been so low for so long i'm at risk for causing some body disasters that would result in blood transfusions.
part of me is like: "huh. that's not terribly suprising"
another part of me is thinking: "i'd like a second opinion" *which i can't afford*
but really, what i was thinking as i sat there in her office and she got very passionate about how i need to drink more water, and try to get a more normal schedule, and not miss taking either of my meds and take them at normal times, and how i need to either start taking iron pills (which will invariably make me feel like crap) or this new iron supplement script was:
"this meeting is costing $35. plus the $35 from the last one. the lab fees are $240 total, and i have a month to make the first half of the payment. the script of synthroid i just filled out was $30, and the new one i'm sure i'll be getting next week will also be $30. the dermatologist i'll be going to see is going to cost at least $35, and i have no idea how much that thyroid sonogram is going to cost, but i know at least the visit will be $35. plus the dentist visit later this week, which will probably be $150 if not $300, the $35 i shelled out for my ortho tri, and the $35 i'll have to pay to get my bi-annual cancer screening, and you want me to spend ANOTHER $30/month on iron pills because of something i've never noticed and no previous doctor has mentioned (possibly due to negligence)"
so i less than two weeks i'll be spending AT LEAST $660 just to keep my ass alive, on the meds that keep me alive, and visiting the docs who make sure i don't have various forms of cancer.
and frankly, part of me just thinks "hell aubri. let nature do it's thing. darwin did not love you"
it's costing more to keep me alive for two weeks than it is to fly roundtrip to europe during peak tourist season.
and yeah. i don't exactly have an extra $700 lying around. not with the stunning starbucks salary i'm pulling in *sarcasm*
i'm thinking i'll just go back to my old plan of ignoring it until i can't ignore it anymore. it costs less, i worry less, and everything is better in general. plus, i won't spend as much money on health care.
so, blitzkreig on the docs. i'll get my teeth and eyes done, stock up on synthroid and ortho tri, and cut my ties until i find myself in dire straights again. that seems like a plan. right? right?
yeah. this sucks balls.
i think i'll sleep now and see if there's an answer in the morning.